Change Your Thoughts—Change Your World
April 16, 2018 in Be Positive
How does this make you feel? Do you allow things to upset you that you could let go of? What can you change about your thoughts that would make you happier?
by Moderator ★
by Moderator ★
Social Media Image
April 12, 2018 in Social Media Guide
One thing that can be really tough when you have a mental illness is feeling like you are less than. Especially when you see stuff stuff on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and the like. It can be hard to feel like you’ve made any progress toward a healthier you when it seems like everyone on social media is on vacation, or cooking like a pro, or having a blast with all their friends.
One thing to keep in mind is that you can only compare your progress and your health to yourself. Your story and processes are unique to you and it’s important to be mindful that most people are posting things that make them look good on social media.
What are some ways that you cope with the idea of the “perfect” image? What helps you remember that everyone is human, and everyone struggles? What makes you feel less alone?
by Moderator ★
How To Discuss Hard Topics With Parents
April 11, 2018 in Educate Yourself
Although talking to friends often comes more naturally, there are some situations in which parents or guardians can shed a brighter light on a tough situation than your peers. Whether you feel that your relationship is strong with your parents or not, they are the ones who care more about your well-being than anyone else. Tough subjects to bring up with parents can include a wide range of topics, anywhere from a speeding ticket to self-harm. Here are 3 steps to help you feel ready to approach a tough subject.
1. Before you begin talking, decide what your goal is.
Knowing ahead of time what you want to get out of your conversation can help you stay calm and prevent the conversation from leading down a different path. You may want specific advice, or you may just want to be listened to without judgement. Either way, being prepared can help you and the adult stick to what will be most beneficial for you.
2. Recognize your feelings and be upfront about them.
More often than not hard subjects are hard because of the emotion behind them. You could be scared, ashamed, or simply embarrassed to talk about certain things with your parents, but the best way to deal with those feelings is to be honest about them. For example, you could say, “I need to talk to you, but I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you.” By letting your parents know how you are feeling, they can be better equipped to help, and you can know that you are being heard.
3. Pick a good time to talk.
Just as being calm yourself can help when approaching a difficult talk, things will go more smoothly if your parent is calm as well. Try to find a time when they are not busy working on something else. If you are unsure, tell them that you need to talk and ask when would be a good time for them.
Overall, thoughtful planning is what will help you the most when discussing something difficult with a parent. By following these steps, you will give you and your parent the best shot at working through it together.
You can also read more about talking to parents in general and about difficult topics at this site.
Which of these tips do you think are most helpful? Do you have more strategies for teens talking about difficult topics? Share with us in the comments!
by Moderator ★
What Caused My Depression?
April 10, 2018 in Educate Yourself
Have you ever been confused about what the source of your depression symptoms is? If so, you are not alone.
A research project done in the United Kingdom studied 465 adolescent participants with diagnosed mild to severe depression. From the interviews with the participants, the researchers identified that the adolescents had three common beliefs about how their depression developed:
- One group was totally bewildered about how their depression happened. To them, it seemed as if their symptoms had just one day come out of nowhere.
- Another group thought their symptoms had started after a stressful experience, such as being rejected or bullied, witnessing violence in their families, or being ignored by their parents. The most common stressful situation mentioned by these adolescents was feeling pressured to do super well in school, and the researchers noted that there haven’t been enough studies done about this kind of stress—mostly researchers have studied stressful events like divorce or the death of a parent.
- The last group felt the depression came from something inside them, and they blamed themselves for their depression symptoms.
The researchers concluded that teens’ beliefs influence how they seek help for and participate in treatment to support their mental health. How did they draw this conclusion?
- If you’re totally bewildered about your depression, you might not be allowing yourself to think about it at all, so you might not ask for help.
- If you feel like the depression is because of a stressful experience and you are still going through that stress—like difficult schoolwork—you might think that there’s nothing that will help unless you get out of that situation, so you may not ask for help.
- If you feel like your depression is something you caused, you might feel guilty or embarrassed about getting help—and you might not even ask.
Some things to learn from this study:
- It’s normal to feel guilty when you are depressed, because guilt and shame can be symptoms of depression—and if you get help, those feelings should diminish or go away.
- Even if you are in a stressful situation, getting treatment can help you cope with that situation better!
To read more about these issues, see our articles about feeling guilty and about keeping up with academics.
Which of the three groups of participants do you relate to? What kinds of internal obstacles have you ever felt when you’ve thought about asking for help with mental health challenges? Share with us in the comments!
by Moderator ★
A Kind Word
April 9, 2018 in Be Positive
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
—Leo Buscaglia
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Losing Sleep Over FOMO
April 5, 2018 in Social Media Guide
Have you ever been in the library and checked your phone compulsively while slaving away on on a final paper or cramming for a final exam? Are you checking to see what other people are doing—in case they’re having a more interesting life than you are?
That’s called FOMO, or fear of missing out.
And it might continue after you walk home at 2 a.m. and climb into bed—so you take your phone.
We at SOVA haven’t yet written much about FOMO, but it’s a real thing that can be detrimental to your wellbeing. A recent study looked at how much first-year college students are affected by FOMO on social media. Student participants in this study talked about how they kept their cell phones in bed, even under their pillows, for fear of being left out of interesting social situations. One student said,
I’ve been known to answer my [phone] or to answer texts while I’m sleeping.
Some other student participants talked about how they stay on social media while trying to fall asleep. One young woman’s FOMO led her to stay on Skype with her boyfriend so late into the night that they regularly fell asleep with Skype still open on their computers. Her roommate, a participant in the study, said,
One time I was sleeping in the room and I literally woke up because I heard her boyfriend snoring on Skype.
The study found that the participants who went to bed with their phones or computers lost significant sleep because of their FOMO. And good sleep is super important to our physical and mental wellbeing.
What does FOMO feel like to you? How has your attitude and behavior with taking your phone or computer to bed changed over time? If you take your device into bed, have you noticed any effects on your sleep? Let us know in the comments!
by Moderator ★
Does Your PCP Screen You for Depression?
April 4, 2018 in Educate Yourself
As many as one in every five teens experiences depression during adolescence, but their symptoms often go undiagnosed and untreated because they lack access to mental health specialists.
But everyone’s main point of contact with the health care system is usually their primary care physician—and for adolescents, that can mean a pediatrician. So to support adolescent mental health, in February the American Academy of Pediatrics for the first time in 10 years released updated guidelines on adolescent depression.
These guidelines call for detecting depression early by screening every young American age 12 to 21 every year.
While it might be weird to think of an older teen, such as a college student, going to a pediatrician, it can be helpful for what’s called “continuity of care,” which means keeping the same doctor that you trust because—well, because you can! Some pediatric practices see patients until age 21. A pediatric practice that is adolescent-friendly will have at least one exam room that’s isn’t filled with balloons and teddy bears—it will resemble an adult exam room. And there are pediatricians—like SOVA’s own Dr. Rad, who was just featured in the Washington Post—who specialize in adolescent and young-adult medicine.
A lot of parents take their children to their pediatricians for scraped knees and sore throats “but don’t think of them when it comes to seeking help for emotional and behavioral issues,” said Rachel Zuckerbrot, MD, FAAP, a lead author of the guidelines. She added,
The American Academy of Pediatrics is supporting pediatricians so that they are prepared to identify and treat these types of issues. The earlier we identify teenagers who show signs of depression, the better the outcome.
The guidelines recommend:
- Providing a treatment team that includes the patient, family, and mental health experts
- Offering education and screening tools to identify, assess and diagnose patients
- Counseling on depression and options for management of the disorder
- Developing a treatment plan with specific goals in functioning in the home, with peers and at school
- Developing a safety plan, as needed, which includes restricting lethal means, such as firearms in the home, and providing emergency communication methods
“We would like to see teens fill out a depression screening tool as a routine part of their regular wellness visit,” said Amy Cheung, MD, also a lead author.
Parents should be comfortable offering any of their own observations, questions or concerns, which will help the physician get a well-rounded picture of the patient’s health.
It’s important to have health-care providers that you trust. Has your doctor screened you for depression? If not, have you still been able to talk with your doctor about your mental health challenges? Share with us in the comments!
by Moderator ★
The Human Need to Belong
April 3, 2018 in Educate Yourself
Human beings all crave the feeling of belonging. We want to have familial relationships and friendships that support us and make us feel good. However, when we start to feel others no longer want us, we experience the weight of loneliness and isolation. We may try different ways to feel connected with the group again. A study found a connection between bullying and the bully’s feelings of not belonging.
Some people will deal with feelings of rejection in negative ways such as gossiping, harassing, or physical hurting those whom they believe have hurt their connection with others. This kind of bullying can be face-to-face or online. But you know what?—these negative actions almost never make us feel like we belong. The more we hurt others, the more they will move away from us.
A more positive way to increase feelings of belonging is to accept the new person in your friend group and invite them to eat lunch with you so you can get to know them better. Instead of creating a foe, make a friend!
Sometimes we are the ones who are bullied. Instead of viewing that person as a heartless, cruel individual, maybe we could see how they are feeling threatened or left out and find ways to make them feel included. Changing the ways we react to the bullies in our lives might change their behaviors.
If we see someone is being bullied by another, it is also important to tell the bully their behavior isn’t cool. Bullies tend to change more based on what people their age think, and not adults. Remember, the bully is probably feeling pretty helpless themselves—so when they aren’t being a bully, try including them in activities and see if they change their game (of course—only as long as you feel like it is a safe thing to do).
By understanding the background of bullying behaviors, we can change the conversation about bullying.
For more bullying advice, check out stopbullying.gov
What kinds of bullying have you witnessed in your life? What kinds of bullying have you experienced yourself? How has it affected you?
by Moderator ★
Meet Ryan Klingensmith, Founder of “Shape the Sky”
April 2, 2018 in Be Positive
Some days ago, one of our SOVA team members had an opportunity to talk with Ryan Klingensmith, the founder of “Shape the Sky: Creating Responsible Kids on Smartphones.” 
In Mr. Klingensmith’s 20 years of working as a therapist, supervisor, and community educator in a variety of settings for young people and their families, he has seen many changes happening in the lives of adolescents—one of the biggest being technology. In 2010, while working as a therapist, he began to see how much the youth were becoming dominated by social media. And he started to see that many adolescents to share personal, private and even risky content online.
Mr. Klingensmith is a licensed professional counselor and nationally certified counselor who has helped hundreds of adolescents with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, self-harm and other mental health challenges. He says adolescents are often not aware of the potential consequences and harms of their online behaviors due to their still-growing cognitive abilities and limited experience. Parents and other adults in teens’ lives, on the other hand, are often not equipped with enough knowledge and understanding about the current technologies and trends to be at the same level as the youth.
Upon recognizing this gap between what teens do and what adults know, he decided to do something to change it, so he founded Shape the Sky, an organization designed to give adults the education they need so they may teach their children to use technology responsibly, safely and with wisdom.
Mr. Klingensmith mentioned that just as “you need to be trained to drive safely,” adolescents need to be trained to use social media wisely. Furthermore, he said, “adults involved in children’s lives can serve as great resources to train children about technology. Adults need to teach children to behave responsibly and smartly when using social media.”
As part of the programs of “Shape the Sky,” Mr. Klingensmith developed a series of training programs. These programs are designed to support adults in understanding the online world and in learning techniques to communicate with their children more effectively about technology and social media usage.
We asked Mr. Klingensmith if there were any advice that he would give to adolescents and parents at SOVA. He recommended that adolescents reach out to trusted adults for guidance while using technology, especially when they encounter other youth posting mental health red-flags through social media. He suggested that parents try to educate themselves about technology, in order to offer better guidance and education to their children regarding using social media. His ultimate goal is to “create responsible kids on smartphones, through adult guidance.”
Who have you known who has changed your life with a positive word?
by Moderator ★
Do You Use Social Media Less When Your Skin Breaks Out?
March 29, 2018 in Social Media Guide
Do you ever get nervous about posting photos of yourself on social media when you’re in the middle of a breakout?
According to a recent survey of more than 1,000 adolescents, more than half reported that social media makes having acne harder, and about one-third reported that social media increased their anxiety about their breakouts.
Here are some more statistics about the ways these adolescents changed their social-media behavior when their skin didn’t look as great as they wished:
More than two-thirds of the adolescents said that they believe most of their peers edit or somehow change photos of themselves to hide imperfections in their skin.
Eighty-six percent of the adolescents said they have had acne, and among those who said they have acne, 71 percent said it negatively affected their body image and attractiveness and 67 percent said it decreased their self-esteem.
And half of all the adolescents said they did at least one of the following things to avoid people seeing the imperfections in their skin:
- Choosing not to include a photo of themselves with acne
- Deleting or untagging a photo of themselves with pimples
- Asking someone to remove a picture of them with acne
- Staying off social media to avoid posting and seeing pictures of themselves
Wow—that’s a lot of pressure!
Perfectionism is rampant in our culture, and social media can increase the pressure to look perfect.
Has social media made it harder for you to accept yourself as you are, with all the challenges that come along with being an adolescent? What has it done to your anxiety levels? What are your strategies for helping yourself accept yourself when you don’t look as awesome as you wish you did? Share with us in the comments.
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