SOVA Blog

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Nature’s Beautiful Patterns

April 23, 2018 in Be Positive

Take a look at this video of starlings in a flight pattern called “murmuration.” They do this at certain times of the year.

No one knows why and how the starlings do this murmuration! Which bird is leading them in their flight? How do they know when to turn or to settle onto the ground? No one knows.

There are patterns that occur in nature that, despite all our technology, we really don’t understand. Every snowflake is different.

Bees make honeycombs that have six sides.

Some plants—and animals!—grow in spirals.

But even though these patterns are incomprehensible, they’re beautiful. That beauty can lift our spirits if we look at it with an open mind.

Tell us what patterns you notice in your life that lift your spirits! What did it take for you to see them?

 

 

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National Alliance On Mental Illness

April 20, 2018 in LINKS

NAMI-service-LogoThe National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) is the United States’ largest grassroots mental health organization. NAMI is dedicated to building better lives for millions of American’s affected by mental illness through education, advocacy, listening, and awareness.

The NAMI website is an excellent resource for information about mental health, with a wide variety of news articles on mental illness, specific conditions, blogs, stories, and more!

Learn More: Learn about the warning signs of mental illness, mental health conditions, statistics, treatments, research, and public policies.

Find Support: This section includes tips for reaching out to support services, advice on living with a mental health condition (such as navigating insurance, finding a therapist, romantic relationships, and more!) and support for:

  • Family members and caregivers
  • Teens and young adults
  • Veterans and active duty personnel
  • LGBTQ
  • Diverse communities

There is also a HelpLine and programs that offer support, education, and training.

Get Involved!  This section shows various ways that you and your family can get involved with NAMI, whether that be through education, peer support, policy advocacy, or promoting public understanding.

NAMI News: Read about mental illness in the news and ways to take action.

NAMI Blogs:  A place to comment on post from people who have lived experience with mental illness and those with expertise in living with mental illness and mental health.

Personal Stories: Read personal stories from the NAMI community.

Find your local NAMI! What are they up to in your community? What is something valuable you learned from the NAMI website? Leave us a comment and let us know! 

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What Does Privacy Mean To You?

April 19, 2018 in Social Media Guide

privacy01What does privacy mean to you when it comes to social media?

What does it mean to you when something is on Facebook or another social media website? Is anything truly private once it’s on the internet?

Have you ever run into someone in person who knew something about you because of what they read on social media? Did it feel strange that they knew about it? Sometimes when you post something, you expect that only certain people will see it, but you don’t know who laid eyes on what you put on the internet.

We work hard to keep our SOVA website secure and anonymous to protect your privacy so that you can share your experiences without worrying about who will see what you wrote. Also we got feedback from young people that they prefer to talk about their mental health in an anonymous way.

There might be other situations where you do want to publicly share your story too. But if you do make that decision, it should be your choice. For those situations when you want to protect your privacy—what have you done on social media to protect your personal information?

What are your experiences with privacy on social media? Are you more private in some places and less in others? How do you make those decisions?

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How To Tell Whether Therapy Is Going Well

April 17, 2018 in Educate Yourself

Talking with a therapist can make anyone feel pretty vulnerable. Think about it—you are telling them your deepest thoughts, and you are not sure what they are thinking! If you’ve never seen a therapist before, you might not know what a therapist is supposed to do or how they might act. So how do you know if things are going well in therapy?

Ask yourself:

  • Do I think therapy will help me?
  • What do I expect out of my therapist?

Ask your parent:

  • Are you willing to participate in therapy together or alone for you if needed?
  • What do you expect out of me for therapy?
  • What do you expect out of my therapist?

Discuss your answers to the above questions with your therapist and your parent so you can have a clear idea if what you think will happen is what will happen.

As you get to know your therapist, ask yourself these questions:

  • Do I feel accepted?
  • Is my therapist caring?
  • Does my therapist explain things clearly?
  • If my therapist and I disagree, can we have a productive conversation about it?
  • Does my therapist recognize if there is a problem and addresses it instead of avoiding it?

After you’ve gotten to know your therapist, ask yourself:

  • Does my therapist have a good relationship with me?
  • Do we get along?
  • Do we agree on the goals of what I am going to get from my treatment?
  • Does my therapist get along with my parent?
  • Does my therapist agree with my parent on the goals of my treatment?

These questions have been shown in research to influence how well therapy can work for kids and adolescents which is why we think it is important to think about them.

If the answers are no to any of these questions, talk to your therapist on how you might address them. If it doesn’t feel comfortable to talk to your therapist, then talk to whoever referred you to them—like your primary care provider about whether they can help talk to your therapist and investigate whether they are a good fit for you.

Which of these questions would you be most likely to try out? Are there other questions you suggest for talking to your therapist? Let us know in the comments.

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Change Your Thoughts—Change Your World

April 16, 2018 in Be Positive

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How does this make you feel? Do you allow things to upset you that you could let go of? What can you change about your thoughts that would make you happier?

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Social Media Image

April 12, 2018 in Social Media Guide

12552859_10153287947621752_6465602671076289451_nOne thing that can be really tough when you have a mental illness is feeling like you are less than. Especially when you see stuff stuff on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and the like. It can be hard to feel like you’ve made any progress toward a healthier you when it seems like everyone on social media is on vacation, or cooking like a pro, or having a blast with all their friends.

One thing to keep in mind is that you can only compare your progress and your health to yourself. Your story and processes are unique to you and it’s important to be mindful that most people are posting things that make them look good on social media.

What are some ways that you cope with the idea of the “perfect” image? What helps you remember that everyone is human, and everyone struggles? What makes you feel less alone?

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How To Discuss Hard Topics With Parents

April 11, 2018 in Educate Yourself

teen-parentAlthough talking to friends often comes more naturally, there are some situations in which parents or guardians can shed a brighter light on a tough situation than your peers. Whether you feel that your relationship is strong with your parents or not, they are the ones who care more about your well-being than anyone else. Tough subjects to bring up with parents can include a wide range of topics, anywhere from a speeding ticket to self-harm. Here are 3 steps to help you feel ready to approach a tough subject.

1. Before you begin talking, decide what your goal is.

Knowing ahead of time what you want to get out of your conversation can help you stay calm and prevent the conversation from leading down a different path. You may want specific advice, or you may just want to be listened to without judgement. Either way, being prepared can help you and the adult stick to what will be most beneficial for you.

2. Recognize your feelings and be upfront about them.

More often than not hard subjects are hard because of the emotion behind them. You could be scared, ashamed, or simply embarrassed to talk about certain things with your parents, but the best way to deal with those feelings is to be honest about them. For example, you could say, “I need to talk to you, but I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you.” By letting your parents know how you are feeling, they can be better equipped to help, and you can know that you are being heard.

3. Pick a good time to talk.

Just as being calm yourself can help when approaching a difficult talk, things will go more smoothly if your parent is calm as well. Try to find a time when they are not busy working on something else. If you are unsure, tell them that you need to talk and ask when would be a good time for them.

Overall, thoughtful planning is what will help you the most when discussing something difficult with a parent. By following these steps, you will give you and your parent the best shot at working through it together.

You can also read more about talking to parents in general and about difficult topics at this site.

Which of these tips do you think are most helpful? Do you have more strategies for teens talking about difficult topics? Share with us in the comments!

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What Caused My Depression?

April 10, 2018 in Educate Yourself

depressionsilhouetteHave you ever been confused about what the source of your depression symptoms is? If so, you are not alone.

A research project done in the United Kingdom studied 465 adolescent participants with diagnosed mild to severe depression. From the interviews with the participants, the researchers identified that the adolescents had three common beliefs about how their depression developed:

  • One group was totally bewildered about how their depression happened. To them, it seemed as if their symptoms had just one day come out of nowhere.
  • Another group thought their symptoms had started after a stressful experience, such as being rejected or bullied, witnessing violence in their families, or being ignored by their parents. The most common stressful situation mentioned by these adolescents was feeling pressured to do super well in school, and the researchers noted that there haven’t been enough studies done about this kind of stress—mostly researchers have studied stressful events like divorce or the death of a parent.
  • The last group felt the depression came from something inside them, and they blamed themselves for their depression symptoms.

The researchers concluded that teens’ beliefs influence how they seek help for and participate in treatment to support their mental health. How did they draw this conclusion?

  • If you’re totally bewildered about your depression, you might not be allowing yourself to think about it at all, so you might not ask for help.
  • If you feel like the depression is because of a stressful experience and you are still going through that stress—like difficult schoolwork—you might think that there’s nothing that will help unless you get out of that situation, so you may not ask for help.
  • If you feel like your depression is something you caused, you might feel guilty or embarrassed about getting help—and you might not even ask.

Some things to learn from this study:

  • It’s normal to feel guilty when you are depressed, because guilt and shame can be symptoms of depression—and if you get help, those feelings should diminish or go away.
  • Even if you are in a stressful situation, getting treatment can help you cope with that situation better!

To read more about these issues, see our articles about feeling guilty and about keeping up with academics.

Which of the three groups of participants do you relate to? What kinds of internal obstacles have you ever felt when you’ve thought about asking for help with mental health challenges? Share with us in the comments!

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A Kind Word

April 9, 2018 in Be Positive

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Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

—Leo Buscaglia

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Losing Sleep Over FOMO

April 5, 2018 in Social Media Guide

phonepillow01Have you ever been in the library and checked your phone compulsively while slaving away on on a final paper or cramming for a final exam? Are you checking to see what other people are doing—in case they’re having a more interesting life than you are?

That’s called FOMO, or fear of missing out.

And it might continue after you walk home at 2 a.m. and climb into bed—so you take your phone.

We at SOVA haven’t yet written much about FOMO, but it’s a real thing that can be detrimental to your wellbeing. A recent study looked at how much first-year college students are affected by FOMO on social media. Student participants in this study talked about how they kept their cell phones in bed, even under their pillows, for fear of being left out of interesting social situations. One student said,

I’ve been known to answer my [phone] or to answer texts while I’m sleeping.

Some other student participants talked about how they stay on social media while trying to fall asleep. One young woman’s FOMO led her to stay on Skype with her boyfriend so late into the night that they regularly fell asleep with Skype still open on their computers. Her roommate, a participant in the study, said,

One time I was sleeping in the room and I literally woke up because I heard her boyfriend snoring on Skype.

The study found that the participants who went to bed with their phones or computers lost significant sleep because of their FOMO. And good sleep is super important to our physical and mental wellbeing.

What does FOMO feel like to you? How has your attitude and behavior with taking your phone or computer to bed changed over time? If you take your device into bed, have you noticed any effects on your sleep? Let us know in the comments!

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