SOVA Blog

by Moderator ★

photo of pink headphones laying on a bicolored surface of pink and aqua.

Music and Social Media

June 18, 2025 in LINKS, Social Media Guide

What are your favorite genres? Do you enjoy the stuff currently on the radio? Do you like pop, rock, rap, or any of the specific subgenres within them? Maybe you like a combination, or even all of them.

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Music is an extension of ourselves and a way to not only express, but figure out our identity. Music is especially meaningful for adolescents during a time when they’re experiencing a crucial time figuring out who they are. Studies have shown that adolescents listen to more music than any other age group and use it to help shape together their identity, since there’s often a culture and sense of style associated with different genres.

Studies have also shown that adolescents use music as a way to connect with others and make friends with those who have similar tastes, since they are likely to have other tastes in common too outside of music. Social media is one way of connecting people over their taste in music.

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Using social media to find out what your peers are listening to isn’t new: Last.fm was specifically created so that people could share what they were listening to by connecting it to their iTunes and other music sites. Of course, aspiring musicians can also use sites like Soundcloud and YouTube to post their original works, sharing it with others not just on these sites, but on other platforms too.

Nowadays, social media sites give users the option to post what music they’re listening to when they make a status (like Facebook), and some give them the choice to play a snippet of a song over their story (like Instagram). Even Spotify counts as social media: Spotify gives you the option to add friends by using your email or Facebook, and they can see what you’re listening to as you’re listening to them.

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Spotify also has a “private” listening option, so that you could listen to whatever else you want without others seeing. Both the public and private feeds on Spotify create a discussion about how people, and adolescents specifically, can manipulate what and how they listen to their music based off what others will think of them. Some might have a genre that they’re embarrassed of, or something that might not be that popular with their friends, so they might go into private mode so no one knows that they listened to it. They may only keep the regular setting on if they are listening to groups that their friends also like and contributes to the image they have created for themselves.

Picking and choosing what people see versus showing all of your music history can be similar to picking and choosing what sorts of brands adolescents want others to see them wearing and what type of photos they post on Instagram. It can be even more anxiety inducing too since adolescents listen to more music than any other age group, so it’s natural to forget that the friend feed is there as you’re listening to music, and a song might slip in that might be “judged” by someone. Some may not care, and some may not mind monitoring it. Some may even turn off this feature completely and listen to their music without others knowing when they’re doing so.

If anything, if you want to expand your taste in music outside of Spotify’s Discover Weekly, the friend feed is a great option to find some new songs.

If you use Spotify, do you have the friends on your feed? Do you look at what others are listening to, or do you think others are looking at yours? Why do you think some people judge each other’s music tastes so harshly?

Originally posted : by Moderator ★ · September 27, 2024

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by Moderator ★

When I Grow Up, I Don’t Want To Be Like You

June 5, 2025 in Educate Yourself

Photo Credit: Jose Chavarry via Compfight cc
Photo Credit: Jose Chavarry via Compfight cc

Do you have friends or family members who have a mental illness and have had a lot of trouble dealing with it or did not get treatment? Many of us do. It can be tough to watch them suffer. Maybe they are someone you enjoy spending time with sometimes, but other times you feel let down because they neglect you or hurt your feelings. Having a mental illness that is not treated often means you are not doing things to be good to yourself – and if you’re not being good to yourself, it is hard to cultivate quality relationships with others.

What if then someone tells you that you also may have a mental illness? Your immediate thought might be – no, that’s not me. I’m not like my family member at all, and there’s no way my life will turn out like theirs. It’s understandable that you might worry or be upset. But then take some time to think about it a little more. It’s true that mental illness can run in families, yet every person is unique and it affects each person in a different way. Also, we are learning more and more about treating mental illness. Some of our older family members maybe did not receive enough treatment when they were younger, and we know getting treatment when you are younger helps more.

If you feel this way, remember we are like our family and then we are not like our family. Focus on yourself. Sometimes when we do that, others notice and in time, help themselves as well.

Have you experienced worries your life would be similar to a family member’s who did not get treatment for their mental illness? How did you cope with these concerns?

Originally posted by Dr. Rad ★ · June 28, 2016

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by Moderator ★

Having a Bad Mental Health Day

April 23, 2025 in Be Positive

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Living with depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues can sometimes be taxing. I know I have come across this a lot—I feel down, anti-social, or just plain exhausted! While it’s true that we are starting to talk more about mental health conditions, lots of people still find it difficult to talk about what they are experiencing. It’s especially hard when you feel like you were doing so great the past few days and today you just feel like … ugh.

I often don’t know what to say on my ugh days when someone asks me, “How are you doing today?” or, “Do you want to hang out later?” Most of the time I end up just saying something like, “I feel a little tired today—must not have slept well,” or, “I think I’m just staying in tonight, I have a lot of work to do!” Usually, what I really want to say is:

My depression/anxiety symptoms are acting up, and I’m just having a bad mental-health day.

I just feel like people can relate to tiredness and stress a bit more than a real confession of mental-health difficulties. And I don’t want to feel like I’m being a downer or burdening people with my current symptoms.

However, some friends of mine have recently started being completely open about their bad mental health days!

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They are very open about their feelings, posting on Facebook, “Hey everyone, I’m having a bad mental health day today,” followed by words of encouragement for their friends (“You are all lovely people!”) and requests for positive posts (“Feel free to send cute puppy pictures or funny videos!”). Not only were they able to express how they were truly feeling, but they also created a wonderful thread of positivity and puppy pictures.

It didn’t even feel like they were burdening anybody! And bonus, they now have a bunch of cute animal pictures—and who doesn’t want to see a bunch of cute baby animals from time to time?

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Not everyone feels comfortable to post publicly about their mental health state. But if you have a friend or close significant other, it might be helpful to let them know if today just happens to be a bad mental health day for you! I tried this recently with my boyfriend when he asked how my day went—he was super understanding of it, and it also gave me a partner in figuring out how to make my night better.

Have you ever told someone else that you were having a bad mental health day? Let us know in the comments below (and feel free to post favorite pictures of baby animals!).

Originally posted by tea_rex_627 · May 7, 2018

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by Moderator ★

Productive Anxiety

April 16, 2025 in Be Positive

Having anxiety can mean that completing even the simplest task seems impossible. Even simple tasks like opening up that initial tab to start researching for a paper or just taking a deep breath can be terrifying, because taking that first step forward to begin something you’ve been dreading can be so intimidating.

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The feelings associated with anxiety and during an anxiety attack – rapid heart beats, being on edge, having trouble concentrating on anything – can take over the actual task at hand making it seem like you’re never going to get those things done. It doesn’t help either that those who have Type A and perfectionist traits are likely to have some form of anxiety, and can get so stressed about doing something exactly perfect that they can get too anxious to even start. This can also make them even more anxious because of the guilt they have for not working.

Despite all of this, if you have anxiety, you can still accomplish the things you want and have to, despite these overwhelming feelings. One good tool is to organize yourself: writing down exactly what needs to be done and the steps you need to get there can put things in perspective, and for all you know, it’s likely that there’s even less that you have to do than you thought!

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You can also try “anxious reappraisal.” Anxiety and excitement are both arousing emotions, making your heart beat faster and gets your adrenaline pumping. However, where excitement is a fun feeling, anxiety…isn’t so much. Anxious reappraisal reframes the negative feelings about a task by having you say that you’re excited out loud. Those who repeated “I’m excited” before doing a task came across as more confident and calmer compared to those who said “I’m anxious” before doing the same thing. The people who said “I’m excited” were still nervous, but saying the sentence out loud reframes the activity as something to look forward to.

Other ways to make your anxiety productive can include thinking of the good things that doing the task will accomplish, finding a mantra to motivate you and repeat when you feel your anxiety spike, and even hiding your phone. Your anxiety may not just be about your assignment, but could also be tied to expecting a notification or missing something online, and putting your phone away can help you focus more on your assignment and focus less on potential distractions.

Trying to get started on any task is difficult, especially when it’s one that you consider to be important and want to do well on. There’s no perfect way to go about combating that anxiety, but these are some tips you can try to help with that first step.

Do you have any tips about how to get started on an important assignment when you have anxiety? How can you get excited about things that stress you out?

Originally Posted by Moderator ★ · April 8, 2019

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by Moderator ★

Nah, therapy is not for me

April 7, 2025 in Uncategorized

Studies show when people have a bad experience with therapy it can make them have a bad attitude about therapy in general. Sometimes I tell my patients that therapy could help them, and they tell me, “nah, not for me.” It totally makes sense, though, if they had a bad experience before. One time, I had a bad experience at a fast food restaurant which shall remain nameless, and I do NOT want to go back there!

What are some reasons you or others have had negative experiences with therapy?

Here are a few examples you may relate to:

The first time you went, it wasn’t your decision.

Going to therapy can help with a lot of different problems you may have – but if you were made to go or it felt like it was a punishment versus a decision you made to become more healthy, you might have a negative attitude about it. My mom used to make me pick weeds in our driveway, and I kind of have a bad attitude about gardening! Even though a lot of people enjoy it.

The therapist and you did not seem to connect.

We know a big reason therapy works is the therapeutic alliance, which we wrote about in a prior post. If you feel like you didn’t connect with your first therapist—or especially if you didn’t feel like they cared about you, that might have been a tough experience for you. Telling someone your deepest thoughts makes you vulnerable and if it didn’t work the first time, maybe you don’t want to take that risk again.

Your parent was too involved.

Maybe you think therapy wasn’t helpful if your parent was always around. You couldn’t let yourself be honest with the therapist.

You felt betrayed.

If you received therapy as a child and the therapist was worried about abuse, that is something that they have to report to the state for your safety. But when you are a kid in the mix of it, sometimes you feel like your trust was betrayed. That can be hard to deal with.

The thing is – one bad experience does not mean the next one will be. And your experience as a young person or child may be different when you are older. There are things you can do to help make sure that your next therapy experience is a good one. We know therapy works and can get you to better mental health.

If you had a bad experience before, but want to try therapy again, try these ideas:

  • make a list of the pros and cons about going to therapy—go over your list with someone you trust like a supportive adult or your primary care doctor and together, make a decision if this is a next best step for you
  • at the first session, tell your therapist what your expectations and hopes are from therapy
  • if you feel like you and your therapist don’t connect, ask for a referral to see someone else – therapists are used to this as everyone is different and sometimes certain personalities don’t click
  • if your parent is involved, talk to them about what you expect out of therapy and how you’d like them to be involved. if they would like to be very involved, talk to your therapist about whether it would be a better idea to have a family therapist in addition to individual therapy
  • at the first session, talk to your therapist about the limits of confidentiality—what do they always keep private and what if anything, are they not allowed to keep private

Do you have any other examples of negative experiences you have had? Or tips you have about making the next experience positive?

Repost, original by Dr. Rad ★ · May 18, 2016

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by Moderator ★

Discussing Mental Health Through… Memes?

April 2, 2025 in Social Media Guide

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Memes are an undeniable staple of Internet culture. If you browse around many websites and social media platforms, you will almost certainly come across image macros, Tumblr posts, viral tweets, and other content that has been circulating the web.

The majority of modern memes are captioned photos that are intended to be funny, “often as a way to publicly ridicule human behavior.“

Memes have become a method of describing different experiences and aspects of our lives in a humorous way—including mental health. In fact, mental health is one of the most common meme subjects that I’ve seen on the Internet.

On the surface, making jokes regarding mental health may sound distasteful. But when someone with a mental illness creates a meme about their condition, it may add a little laughter to their own day or even help others to understand what goes on in their mind.

Like many other teens and young adults, I shamelessly enjoy and share some of the memes that appear on my social media feeds. The whole phenomenon of memes is really intriguing to me—it’s fascinating that so many people will laugh at or relate to a quotation or picture and then add their own content to keep the humor going.

I see memes as a creative, low-pressure way of expressing our perspectives. Yes, some memes are made solely for levity, but others can convey deeper trains of thought. Memes allow us to share observations, feelings, and social commentary in a way that others are more likely to understand and find interesting

So, how is mental health discussed through memes? I think memes are a sort of coping mechanism that allows one to laugh at oneself. They make me smile and think, “Haha, I can totally see myself in that picture!” And apparently many other people do as well, considering the prevalence of posts like these.

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Of course, it’s fair to say that mental-illness memes trivialize serious conditions, and some people may find them oversimplifying or offensive. But nearly all of the memes I’ve come across are pretty relatable, and effective humor often has a considerable degree of truth. Describing my struggles in humorous terms is a way to laugh a little.

Additionally, since memes are a sort of language of their own, they can be a useful way to tell others how your illness affects you. It can be difficult or uncomfortable to tell others how you feel, but a meme might be able to illustrate a feeling or experience in a way that others can understand. This can even be the first step to having more open conversations about your mental health—it can help you ease into a difficult topic.

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A final word of advice: as with all Internet content, it’s easy to fall into the bottomless pit of mindlessly surfing the web for hours and hours, which is not conducive to good mental health. Self-care is essential for all Internet activities, which includes spending time away from the screen and taking a break if you come across something that makes you uncomfortable or upset. And while memes can bring a laugh every now and then, it’s important to remember that you are not defined by the attitudes expressed in them, just as you are not defined by your illness. Memes aren’t a well-rounded way of describing a mental illness. Real life is more complex than a few words copied onto a picture, and it’s important to be honest with yourself and others about how you’re feeling, rather than trying to project the entirety of your illness into a simple several-word meme.

What is your experience with memes? Do you think they’re helpful and relieve tension, or do you think they shame people with mental illness—or both? Let us know in the comments!

Repost, previously posted by dancingthroughlife · August 9, 2018

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by Moderator ★

How to Use Free Time to Fuel Positivity

March 24, 2025 in Be Positive

As the school year soon begins to wind down (or you may have very recently finished), you may find yourself thinking about how much free time you have coming up. Of course, this can be a great thing: you have some time where you’re not burdened by homework and assignments and for possibly the first time in a while, you aren’t restricted to a Monday-Friday schedule. It can also be stressful, and a lack of structure and schedule can actually increase symptoms of anxiety, especially for students on summer vacation.

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Of course, this isn’t to say that you have to book summer classes or stay in an academic headspace year-round (that can be anxiety-inducing too!). Studies have found that leisurely activities increase mental health benefits, and the results are stronger when they provide some sort of daily structure during long breaks or stretches of time. These may even have greater effects if these leisure activities help put you in a positive mood and are meant to increase happiness.

Not everyone’s summer is the same, and with a lack of structure, things can change everyday. Here are a couple of suggestions to add some sort of schedule depending on how much time you have to yourself on a regular basis to help ease any anxiety that may occur from feeling like you have nothing yet everything to do. These shouldn’t be treated as set schedules, since summer is unpredictable, but even doing the same sort of activity around the same time a couple of times of week can help give you a sense of a routine.

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If you have 5 minutes a day…
You can fill out a gratitude prompt or take the time to do some brief meditation and deep breathing. We’ve talked about both before if you need an app or any other references.

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If you have an hour a day…
You can take the time to do some sort of physical activity. It could be something like going to a class at the gym or your local rec center (if it’s safe enough to do so indoors), or even putting up a cycle of Youtube videos about yoga, lifting dumbbells, or whatever you have on hand. If you can’t or don’t want to be super active, you can also use this time to go for a walk outside.

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If you have the whole day…
You can do everything listed above! If you’re able to, however, you can block out the same time every day to read a book, block out another chunk of time later that to explore a new, relaxing hobby (think knitting or baking), and you can even schedule time to dedicate to watching videos online. If you live in a city or an area with a lot of places to explore, you can dedicate a couple of hours a day by exploring a new neighborhood or trying a new coffee shop.

Do you have any plans for the summer? How do you feel about giving yourself some sort of schedule over the summer? Do you notice your mood or mental health changing during long breaks?

Originally Posted by Moderator ★ · April 26, 2021

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by Moderator ★

Thanks to TikTok, I Started Journaling Everyday

March 20, 2025 in Social Media Guide

At the beginning of March, I came across a TikTok that expressed that this account was going to do a 31 day journaling challenge with a new prompt everyday for the month. Since I have been wanting to get into journaling myself, I thought this would be a fun way to try it out.

I told myself that each prompt for each day I would have to fill up just one page of my journal and that whatever I thought of first will be what I write, no second guessing what to put down onto paper. Most times I journaled in the morning, but also tried at various points of the day to see when I liked to do it best.

Now that I am coming to an end of the 31 days, I feel as though I have really slated into a new habit of journaling a little bit everyday. It has something that has grown with me this past month and sitting down to think about the  prompts not only gives me dedicated time to myself, but gets my thoughts and feelings out on paper without judgement. I feel as though I have found some clarity in things as well that have been in my head for a while. The prompts have allowed me to reflect on various aspects of my life and myself, such as “How do I recharge?” or “I give myself permission not to know and let go of…”.

While TikTok is fun and has numerous videos that have made me laugh, I am glad that I came across this 31 day journaling challenge. To me, social media does have its rightful place in mental health and personal development if you try to find the resources on there. I hope that I am able to continue to journal after the end of March, especially since there are so many websites out there that have various journal prompts to search, as well. Who knows, maybe a new healthy habit will come from TikTok as well?

Do you use TikTok? What kind of content do you follow or what shows up on your For You Page? Do you ever get content about mental health or coping mechanisms to try out?

Originally Posted by ginger55 · April 1, 2021

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by Moderator ★

woman crying in a shop

It’s OK to cry!

February 27, 2025 in Be Positive

As a new school year begins, things are already hectic. Where are my classes? Will my books be expensive? Are my teachers understanding? The questions race by faster than I can handle, and just because the school year is starting doesn’t mean that my other problems just go away.

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So I sat down and cried.

In that moment, I felt a great release from all of the stress I was carrying and I just let it flow out. Although crying doesn’t solve my problems or make school any less stressful, it is helpful. It allows me to stop and remember that I am human and things get hard sometimes.

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It is okay to cry sometimes. In fact, I would say it’s necessary to cry sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with crying regardless of gender, race, age, etc. Sometimes you just have to throw up your hands and let the tears do their work.

Personally, for me, crying is a way to disconnect from the “real world” and reconsider my priorities. Don’t look at crying as a negative thing! It can be very beneficial and help you find your balance in an unbalanced world.

Next time you feel like you’re holding it in, remember that it’s okay to cry. Cry to yourself, cry to others, cry for help, cry just for the sake of crying. Just make sure that you do cry, because you’ve earned it.

Do you cry often? When was the last time that you cried? How does it feel when you do?

(Repost, originally by red9995 · September 9, 2019)

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by Moderator ★

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You Are Special

February 20, 2025 in Be Positive, Educate Yourself

You are special. 

This is a phrase my therapist has to repeat to me often.

Why?

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Because the pressure of society for us all to conform to some standard “norm” is immense in this day and age, especially with the rise of social media. However, as a recovering eating disorder patient, I need to stand up against the “norm” because that is what got me into my predicament to begin with. I was trying to fit into the “normal” standards of beauty such as, “the thinner you are the more beautiful you are.” I was trying to fit into the “normal” standards for those passionate about fitness which were, you need to put your exercise routine as your first priority everyday and sacrifice anything you need to in order to get a workout in. I was trying to fit into the “normal” standards for a graduate student: just put your head down and grind out work for 5 years straight working 50+ hours a week and never take a holiday let alone a lunch break.

But all that got me was an incredible amount of stress and anxiety that I internalized, which left me vulnerable to an eating disorder that promised to take my anxiety and stress away if I did what it told me to.

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When it all came to a head, and I knew I could no longer continue working the way I was and also seriously seek treatment for my eating disorder, I requested to take some time off from graduate school in order to have more time to recover and get well. Talk about stepping outside the norm!! I felt like such a failure.

No one else in my cohort of incoming students had to take time off for their mental health. “Why was I so weak?” Is the question I kept berating myself with until I realized something… all of that negative self-talk was coming from my eating disorder which was wrapped up with my awful inner critic. Those around me, who knew me, were all saying how brave I was for putting my mental health first and what a strong choice it was to do so.

I realized that just because I was the only one stepping out and saying I needed help and time to heal, didn’t make it wrong and it didn’t make me a failure. Actually I think that my life is going to be so much more fulfilling and successful because I did take time to care for my mental health and learn how to prioritize myself and my self care over everything, including work and people I love. What good am I if I have nothing to give to others or my work?

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“You can’t put from an empty cup.” Burnout is real in our culture and it is because people think they are invincible and can push themselves to wit’s end but we are all human and we all have limits, and it’s okay that those limits are different for everyone. We need to learn how to respect one another and our individual mental health needs.

Do you need to call in and take a sick day because you are overwhelmed by anxiety? That’s okay.

Do you need to take a long weekend because you woke up and are overwhelmed with depression? That’s okay.

Mental illness is just as real as any other illness. Just because you can’t see it or quantify it doesn’t mean it isn’t real and you should disregard it.

Mental illness isn’t something you can just “will” yourself out of. It takes time. It takes therapy. It takes changing thought patterns. It takes personal reflection. It sometimes takes medication. And lastly, again, it takes time. Be patient and kind with yourself. Take one step at a time, one day at a time. One day you’ll look back and see all the progress you’ve made through your perseverance.

And when you start negatively comparing yourself to those around you who do not struggle with a mental illness, remind yourself that you are special, and you are worth caring for.

What pressure have you put on yourself to meet the standards of others? How did that effect you? Have you ever had to quit something or change your routine to address these issues?

(Repost originally by sunsetlover · March 9, 2021)

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