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Prioritizing Yourself

August 16, 2018 in LINKS, Social Media Guide

always take care of yourself first

One of the most important things I have learned on my mental health journey is that it’s okay to be self-centered. In fact, you NEED to be self-centered to some degree. It’s so easy to get caught up in the lives of everyone around you and lose sight of your own path.

At the beginning of 2018, I decided to make myself the focus of this year. While this doesn’t mean I neglect my friends and family, it does mean that I stop breaking my back doing things that don’t bring me joy. Here are some of the important steps I’ve taken to accomplish this goal:

  • Step back. Take everybody in your life out of the equation and look at yourself and where you are in relation to your own goals.
  • Prioritize. You are the most important thing in your life. Your mental health comes first, over the cares and whims of your parents, friends, and peers.
  • Reevaluate. Ask yourself why you are doing something that you’re doing. What is your investment? Does it make you happy? Are you doing it for yourself, or are you doing it for somebody else?

If you want to read more, here are some links to other places that talk about how to make yourself a priority in your own life:

Psychology Today

Tiny Buddha

Thought Catalog

What are some ways you make yourself your first priority in your life? Let us know in the comments!

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Tips for Improving Your Journaling Practice

August 15, 2018 in Educate Yourself

In a previous blog, one of our adolescent blogging ambassadors talked about some benefits of journaling. The practice of journaling regularly has physical benefits—for example, it really helps strengthen the immune system! Emotionally, it helps us organize our thoughts, explore and articulate our emotions, and better appreciate our lives by helping us focus on positive experiences and attitudes.

But we may still find it difficult to make time to do it. We may struggle to find a time to journal or feel stuck in negative emotions. Let’s look at some ways to overcome these challenges and improve your journaling practice.

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Pick out the journal that’s right for you

Make the experience enjoyable from the start by lingering over your choice of journal. There are so many different styles to choose from, and you don’t have to try just one. Maybe you’d like to use paper and pen—you can even make your own. Or maybe you prefer to journal with your phone or tablet—if so, there are many cool apps.

There are journals designed for specific purposes, such as gratitude journals and mood journals. As you make your selection, think about the goals you’d like to achieve in your journaling practice. For example, do you want to reduce your stress, manage your anger, or list meaningful moments of your life? Thinking about your purposes can help you choose a journal that supports you.

If you have trouble blocking out a certain “writing time” in your day, find a journal that includes notifications. For example, a free mood-journal app called “My Life My Voice” lets you set electronic reminders, and it lets you journal not just with words but also with emoticons, photos, and voice recordings. It also lets you see trends in your moods over time, and it gives you useful tips on how better to manage your negative emotions.

Find ways to work through negative emotions that come up during journaling

One of the biggest barriers to journaling is focusing too much on our negative emotions. If we don’t have strategies to work through these emotions, journaling might make us feel even more upset. Here are some strategies:

  1. Look at your thoughts in a more objective way. Journaling can help you recognize your irrational and distorted thoughts. As you journal, identify these thoughts, then try replacing them by writing more objective ones. Replacing means not repressing them but putting them in context. Gratitude journals are particularly good at countering depressive thoughts by reminding us how much we appreciate all we have. Journals can also change our attitudes about relationships. For example, after having an argument with your mom, you might fume in your journal, “I think she obviously does not care about my feelings at all!” But as journaling helps you calm down, you may try to look at evidence about that first feeling: “Well, she was the one who asked me to talk with her.” The evidence may change your mind: “Maybe she does care about me!”
  2. Learn to see nuances in your emotions. Have you ever felt totally annoyed by someone you deeply love? That’s nuance: it means being able to hold seemingly conflicting feelings at the same time. For example, when someone you trust lies to you, you may feel a burst of anger, and you may also feel disappointed and hurt. It’s helpful to be able to understand that we’re complicated beings whose feelings are not always so black-and-white.
  3. Try to end your journal entries on a positive note. The only attitudes and behavior we can change is our own. Think about not-so-pleasant moments as learning experiences, and contemplate which of your own attitudes and behaviors you could change to make life better next time. For example, after having an unproductive study night, you may wind up criticizing yourself in your journal—and then, as you continue journaling, you could strategize about ways to avoid distractions next time. The past cannot be changed, but journaling about your attitudes towards the past can help you write new stories for your future.

still-2607441_960_720Talk about your journal with your therapist or someone else you trust.

Journaling can be a valuable tool to help both you and your therapist better understand your approaches toward life. Through talking about your journal with your therapist, you may improve your ability to recognize patterns in your emotions. Sharing your journal with trusted adults can help you identify triggers of negative feelings and experiences and create ways to approach them more effectively in the future. It can also help build trust in your relationships.

What kinds of journaling experiences have you had? What challenges have you encountered, and how did you approach them? Share your experiences, stories, and strategies in the comments.

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Dealing With Outbursts

August 14, 2018 in Educate Yourself

femme en colèreAs someone diagnosed with depression, I will sometimes have outbursts. Everything catches up to me at once, and I will feel so sad and frustrated. All I want to do is sit in my room and cry. However, that’s typically not a viable option. The longer I’ve dealt with outbursts, the more I’ve learned about how to stop them in their tracks. For this post, I’ve compiled a list of what helps me, in hopes that it can help someone else!

1. Read a book—Reading a light book that you enjoy can take your mind off the unhappiness and lift your spirits. I like to pick a book that is not too hard to read or lengthy. Even comic books work for this purpose—my favorite is any of the Calvin and Hobbes collections.

2. Talk to a friend—If a friend, parent, or sibling is around that you feel comfortable with, talking to them can help put your mind on something else. If you want to talk to them about what ails you, then that’s great! If you don’t want to talk about that, talk about something else. Either way, you’ll feel better being with someone who makes you feel happy and can cheer you up.

3. Play with your pet—Never underestimate the power of playing with your pet! Your pet can give you a sense of purpose because a pet is a being that needs you. They’re also great for unconditional love! Seeing your pet happy when you play with it or pet it feels great; it makes you feel good because you’re making them happy!

4. Play a game—I read a SOVA blog post a while back that talks about apps that can help with anxiety. I downloaded two apps mentioned in the article, Polyforge and Netko Atsume, and they have been great for calming my mind and providing a brief distraction while I clear my head! I highly suggest checking out the post from KBailey17, it offers some great stress-relieving apps! Be careful, though—try to stay away from social media apps: while those do provide a distraction, they are not always positive.

5. Exercise—As someone who doesn’t enjoy exercise, I know this one may seem daunting if fitness isn’t your thing. However, any physical activity can help! Take your dog for a walk, play a game using a Wii, or find a yoga video on YouTube and follow along with it. It doesn’t need to be vigorous exercise if that isn’t something you enjoy; just getting up and moving can help!

6. Listen to music—Listening to music can help you relax and get your mind off of what’s bothering you. Try to find something that makes you feel calm and happy. I like to listen to mellow electronic like Odesza or Slow Magic. Just focus on the music and take deep breaths.

7. Snuggle a stuffed animal—Just holding onto something you like can make you feel better! If you have a stuffed animal you really like, or one you really liked from childhood, snuggling with it while you do something else can make you feel more calm and secure.

8. Complete a small, but important task—Even though this may be the last thing you want to do, it can really give you a sense of importance and take some weight off. Cleaning your room, emptying the dishwasher, or taking out the trash can make you feel more productive and organized. This will likely boost your mood.

While a lot of these things may seem obvious or small, they all can improve your mood greatly. In general, trying to get your mind off your unhappiness is often what helps. Any of these things will occupy your mind and hopefully give you a brief reprieve so that you can continue your day without feeling sad!

Which of these activities have you ever done when you feel sad? Are there others that help you? Let me know in the comments below!

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Back to School: New Semester

August 10, 2018 in Be Positive

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Sometimes it can be hard for students to go back to school after the holidays, especially for students with anxiety like myself. The rapid transition from the relaxation with friends and family to the hustle and bustle of MANY assignments can be overwhelming. However, there are a few things that can help with the anxiousness of starting a new semester.

For example:

  1. Get a planner. Getting a planner is the first step to becoming organized in college. Writing out when your assignments are due gives you a picture of when stuff needs to be done. This gives you a strong idea of what is happening around you academically versus feeling as though you don’t know what is going on, which could produce more anxiousness.
  2. Make to do lists. It is so frustrating forgetting to do something that you really needed to do. Making to do lists could assist you in not forgetting those important things. Also, being able to cross items off your to do list after you completed them makes you feel accomplished and productive!
  3. Give yourself breaks. School is extremely important; however, if you do not take time for yourself then you will burn out. Giving yourself a break can be doing whatever relieves your stress and brings you joy including hanging with friends, exercising, or simply taking a nap. After giving yourself a break, you often feel less anxious, more relaxed, and ready to get back to the books.

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These three tips are what I use when I begin a new semester and I continue to do these things as the semester progresses. These three items help me stay on top of my schooling and help ease my anxiousness.

What are things that help you get back to college/school/or work?

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A Feminist View on Mental Illness

August 7, 2018 in Educate Yourself

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In a recent gender studies class, we read Fiona Rummery’s “Mad Women or Mad Society: Towards a Feminist Practice.” Part of this work explores the connection between a woman’s assumed role as the homemaker and her increased risk of mental health issues. I wanted to share a few points made by the author that I think are very interesting.

First, femininity has emphasis on serving others and ignoring a woman’s own needs. We all have heard the saying that a mom never gets a day off, but this undoes self-care and easily leads to burnout, anxiety, and depression. If a woman begins to experience such an issue, it is frowned upon for her to assume the sick role, a term that describes the acceptable behavior and expectations a person can receive when they are ill.

For example, if you are a student you are expected to show up for class and complete assignments.  However, if you end up in the hospital because you broke your arm while running, your professors most likely would not expect you to come to class and might allow you to submit assignments after the due date. Your injury excuses you from your normal responsibilities. You have taken on a new role: the sick role.

However, women who try to shift from their “normal role” into the sick role are often met with harsh criticism; they are expected to continue carrying out their usual roles (e.g., mother, wife). If a woman asks for days off from work, they are said to be overly dramatic, needy or milking their illnesses. Neglecting a woman’s health needs increases recovery time, if recovery even occurs at all.

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An interesting quote from Rummery is, “Concepts of femininity and madness are actually interchangeable.” In Western society, there are certain characteristics or traits that are thought to be “feminine,” such as constantly worrying about meeting children’s’ needs.  And are typically thought to be mentally unhealthy.

There used to be a group of mental disorders called Histrionic Personality Disorders (now under Personality Disorders), which were marked by female overreaction and increased feelings. However, psychologist Inge Broveman’s research in the 1970’s declared that a mentally healthy woman is more emotional and more excitable. This means that things which can be viewed as healthy female traits may also be seen as symptoms of mental illness. Women who successfully fulfill a “feminine role” can be easily diagnosed and labeled.

This also provides a lot of irony: women who are emotionally normal are labeled as psychotic, but those who have actual problems are thought to be seeking attention. In the first case, a woman is diagnosed with a condition she does not have, and in the second case, she cannot seek the help she truly needs. Because gender and psychology are so tangled, going against these emotional stereotypes can be viewed negatively (e.g., aggression).

Mental illness can be used as a form of social control over women. In addition to being unable to use the sick role, depressed women are much more unlikely to question gender roles or challenge broader social structures. This creates a cycle that silences women and ignores their health needs: First, a woman develops symptoms of a mental health condition. Second, she is judged for her illness. Third, she is not given proper medical and social support. Fourth, her symptoms may turn into an untreated mental illness.

Lastly, any individual, not just women, can feel limited in their ability to stand up against the labels and mistreatment surrounding mental illness symptoms and conditions. Stigma often makes it difficult to change the way society views a woman’s (and others) mental well-being and self-worth.

I find the psychology and sociology of gender and sexuality to be fascinating, and I hope I was able to give you a new perspective on a woman’s mental health challenges.

Unfortunately, following the “masculine norms” of Western society also are connected with negative mental health outcomes. Men are “supposed” to be in control of their emotions and feelings, self-reliant and powerful.

What are your thoughts on these ideas? Have you noticed any other patterns surrounding gender (not just female) and mental health?

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Having a Bad Mental Health Day

August 6, 2018 in Be Positive

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Living with depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues can sometimes be taxing. I know I have come across this a lot—I feel down, anti-social, or just plain exhausted! While it’s true that we are starting to talk more about mental health conditions, lots of people still find it difficult to talk about what they are experiencing. It’s especially hard when you feel like you were doing so great the past few days and today you just feel like … ugh.

I often don’t know what to say on my ugh days when someone asks me, “How are you doing today?” or, “Do you want to hang out later?” Most of the time I end up just saying something like, “I feel a little tired today—must not have slept well,” or, “I think I’m just staying in tonight, I have a lot of work to do!” Usually, what I really want to say is:

My depression/anxiety symptoms are acting up, and I’m just having a bad mental-health day.

I just feel like people can relate to tiredness and stress a bit more than a real confession of mental-health difficulties. And I don’t want to feel like I’m being a downer or burdening people with my current symptoms.

However, some friends of mine have recently started being completely open about their bad mental health days!

puppy01They are very open about their feelings, posting on Facebook, “Hey everyone, I’m having a bad mental health day today,” followed by words of encouragement for their friends (“You are all lovely people!”) and requests for positive posts (“Feel free to send cute puppy pictures or funny videos!”). Not only were they able to express how they were truly feeling, but they also created a wonderful thread of positivity and puppy pictures.

It didn’t even feel like they were burdening anybody! And bonus, they now have a bunch of cute animal pictures—and who doesn’t want to see a bunch of cute baby animals from time to time?

puppy02Not everyone feels comfortable to post publicly about their mental health state. But if you have a friend or close significant other, it might be helpful to let them know if today just happens to be a bad mental health day for you! I tried this recently with my boyfriend when he asked how my day went—he was super understanding of it, and it also gave me a partner in figuring out how to make my night better.

Have you ever told someone else that you were having a bad mental health day? Let us know in the comments below And feel free to post favorite pictures of baby animals!

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TED Talk: The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage

August 3, 2018 in LINKS

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Research on emotional suppression shows that when emotions are pushed aside or ignored,they get stronger. Psychologists call this amplification.

In this talk, Susan David discusses the concept of emotional agility—allowing ourselves to really feel our negative emotions, like sadness and anger, instead of pushing aside those feelings. She argues that brooding, bottling and false positivity always are unsustainable—internal pain always comes out.

Here are some ideas for the next time you are unsure how to label your feelings.

  • Journal. Write about how you are feeling. You may find yourself pinpointing the cause of your emotions while expressing them.
  • Acceptance. Instead of saying, “I’m fine,” or “I’m just stressed,” take a moment to really think about what it is that you are feeling instead of dismissing it.

Click here to watch the original Ted Talk!

What strategies and practices do you use when you’re not sure what you’re feeling? How do you help yourself let your feelings out without brooding or bottling up?

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Losing Sleep Over FOMO

August 2, 2018 in Social Media Guide

phonepillow01Have you ever been in the library and checked your phone compulsively while slaving away on a final paper or cramming for a final exam? Are you checking to see what other people are doing—in case they’re having a more interesting life than you are?

That’s called FOMO, or fear of missing out.

And it might continue after you walk home at 2 a.m. and climb into bed—so you take your phone.

We at SOVA haven’t yet written much about FOMO, but it’s a real thing that can be detrimental to your wellbeing. A recent study looked at how much first-year college students are affected by FOMO on social media. Student participants in this study talked about how they kept their cell phones in bed, even under their pillows, for fear of being left out of interesting social situations. One student said,

I’ve been known to answer my [phone] or to answer texts while I’m sleeping.

Some other student participants talked about how they stay on social media while trying to fall asleep. One young woman’s FOMO led her to stay on Skype with her boyfriend so late into the night that they regularly fell asleep with Skype still open on their computers. Her roommate, a participant in the study, said,

One time I was sleeping in the room and I literally woke up because I heard her boyfriend snoring on Skype.

The study found that the participants who went to bed with their phones or computers lost significant sleep because of their FOMO. And good sleep is super important to our physical and mental wellbeing.

What does FOMO feel like to you? How has your attitude and behavior with taking your phone or computer to bed changed over time? If you take your device into bed, have you noticed any effects on your sleep? Let us know in the comments!

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Perfectionism: A Good or Bad Way of Thinking?

August 1, 2018 in Educate Yourself

perfectionismI strive for perfection all the time, especially when it comes to academics. If I feel as if I scored less than an A on any assignment or exam then I have terrible anxiety accompanied with crying spells. During these times of distress, it’s nearly impossible to calm myself down. I shake and mentally exhaust myself so much that I cannot do anything else for the rest of the day. These intense distressful experiences last for hours.

The definition of perfectionism is a person’s constant effort to achieve unobtainable goals, and measuring their self-worth according to their accomplishments rather than their own values and essential worth as a person. Being a perfectionist can have positive aspects, such as being very detail-oriented and highly motivated. However, when perfectionists fail to meet their unrealistically high standards, they can become depressed.

The problem is, no one is perfect. Therefore, holding yourself to standards of perfection will always create unhappiness, because those standards are not attainable.

It may seem difficult to let go of perfectionistic ways. I know for me it is hard to stop obsessively worrying about exams that I have taken in which I’m worried that I did not get an A. Here are some ways to take your mind off your perfectionist ways:

  • Watch a movie
  • Color or draw
  • Talk a walk
  • Hang out with supportive friends
  • Meditate
  • Exercise

Engage in any pleasurable activity that does not relate to the activity you are trying to perfect. This will assist in easing the obsessive thoughts that come along with perfectionism.

A recent study showed that activities that foster self-compassion help perfectionistic people avoid falling into depression. So meditation, positive self-talk, and any other activity that supports compassion toward yourself can be especially helpful if you’re obsessing about the latest exam and your possibly imperfect grade.

How do you get past your worry that a poor grade on your biology or chemistry exam will ruin your chances of success? How do you work with the voices in your mind that tell you you’re a failure if you don’t get an A? 

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Does Your PCP Screen You For Depression?

July 31, 2018 in Educate Yourself

teenpediatricianAs many as one in every five teens experiences depression during adolescence, but their symptoms often go undiagnosed and untreated because they lack access to mental health specialists.

But everyone’s main point of contact with the health care system is usually their primary care physician—and for adolescents, that can mean a pediatrician. So to support adolescent mental health, in February the American Academy of Pediatrics for the first time in 10 years released updated guidelines on adolescent depression.

These guidelines call for detecting depression early by screening every young American age 12 to 21 every year.

While it might be weird to think of an older teen, such as a college student, going to a pediatrician, it can be helpful for what’s called “continuity of care,” which means keeping the same doctor that you trust because—well, because you can! Some pediatric practices see patients until age 21. A pediatric practice that is adolescent-friendly will have at least one exam room that’s isn’t filled with balloons and teddy bears—it will resemble an adult exam room. And there are pediatricians—like SOVA’s own Dr. Rad, who was just featured in the Washington Post—who specialize in adolescent and young-adult medicine.

A lot of parents take their children to their pediatricians for scraped knees and sore throats “but don’t think of them when it comes to seeking help for emotional and behavioral issues,” said Rachel Zuckerbrot, MD, FAAP, a lead author of the guidelines. She added,

The American Academy of Pediatrics is supporting pediatricians so that they are prepared to identify and treat these types of issues. The earlier we identify teenagers who show signs of depression, the better the outcome.

The guidelines recommend:

  • Providing a treatment team that includes the patient, family, and mental health experts
  • Offering education and screening tools to identify, assess and diagnose patients
  • Counseling on depression and options for management of the disorder
  • Developing a treatment plan with specific goals in functioning in the home, with peers and at school
  • Developing a safety plan, as needed, which includes restricting lethal means, such as firearms in the home, and providing emergency communication methods

“We would like to see teens fill out a depression screening tool as a routine part of their regular wellness visit,” said Amy Cheung, MD, also a lead author.

Parents should be comfortable offering any of their own observations, questions or concerns, which will help the physician get a well-rounded picture of the patient’s health.

It’s important to have health-care providers that you trust. Has your doctor screened you for depression? If not, have you still been able to talk with your doctor about your mental health challenges? Share with us in the comments!

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