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YouTube, YouTubers, and Relationships

September 13, 2018 in Social Media Guide

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It’s difficult not to feel even a little jealous when scrolling through our numerous feeds, seeing people we know participating in adventurous activities and hanging out with other people, wishing we could do the same instead of viewing someone else doing so on a screen. FOMO is an all too familiar term, but recently, the fear of missing out has only intensified with the increased use of social media, particularly when it comes to the endless material from YouTube, one of the most popular sites for adolescents.

When watching our favorite television shows and movies, we find ourselves drawn to certain characters and form an attachment to them. These characters are usually a huge contributor to why we like what we consume so much; we develop somewhat of a one-sided relationship to them, wanting to see them succeed, viewing them as a role model, or perhaps seeing them in a romantic light. These parasocial relationships – a one-sided relationship with the media we consume – are taken to the next level when it comes to actual people. However, while this was pretty much limited to glitzy Hollywood celebrities, YouTube culture and influencers have taken these relationships to an entirely new level.

Unlike fictional characters, who don’t exist, or celebrities, who are unattainable, there’s something about watching someone who’s just like us living a luxurious, yet attainable life. Even though we aren’t capturing our lives on film and uploading them in easily consumable 20 minute vlogs, we can relate to their easy senses of humor, their mundane tasks and chores, their get-togethers with their friends who we also watch. It’s like we’re being invited into their lives, almost as if we’re their friends as well.

Some say that these YouTube parasocial relationships can have its benefits, giving adolescents with low self-esteem find their ideal selves, using YouTubers to find traits that they too could have and adapting them. By seeing these YouTubers as an ideal, adolescents can be more motivated to set goals for themselves to accomplish something akin to what these relatable creators do. However, it’s important to remember that these relationships aren’t even that, as they are one-sided and there is no reciprocity from the YouTuber’s side, simply because they don’t know the viewer beyond a statistic. These imagined relationships with the creator can play a large role in how adolescents socially develop and how they view relationships away from the screen with those they physically interact with.

Of course, YouTube is still a source of entertainment at the end of the day. We enjoy watching people, whether fictional, celebrities, or creator, because there’s something about them that appeals to us. Though at the end of the day, the screen and reality are two different worlds.

Do you watch YouTubers? If so, why do you watch them? Do you think watching vlogs can affect your view on relationships?

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Depression Naps

September 12, 2018 in Educate Yourself

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As one of the more notable symptoms of depression, napping or sleeping for long periods of time can suck time out of the day. Naps during the day mean that the time to do other things is lost, and doing so can make you unable to sleep at night, which makes you tired the next day, and repeat. Some suggest tracking your sleep patterns in order to adjust it, but when depression factors in, it’s harder to track just when you want (or maybe don’t want) to take that inevitable nap.

The primary cause for depression naps stems from avoidance. While naps are supposed to be a refresher before going about the rest of the day (think siestas), people take depression naps to escape from the feelings and thoughts that depression causes. It’s a coping mechanism, something to do to not just pass time, but to let the brain shut up for a little.

These naps serve as an escape, but they are anything but beneficial. They can last from several, excruciatingly long minutes to almost the whole day, and with them come lethargy and a lack of desire to get up, therefore spending more time being sedentary. Sometimes, it feels like the problem can only get worse. Depression naps can also trigger anxiety, because now that some of the day is wasted, so has the opportunity to get things done. This also comes with a feeling of guilt, because the time where you could have been busy and accomplishing things was sacrificed for essentially doing nothing. Then there’s the fact that once you’ve taken a nap during the day, it’s significantly harder to fall asleep at night. A lack of a study pattern has its adverse effects as well, like on school performance, blood pressure, and appetite. Overall, depression naps can cause a snowball effect that often times enhance depressive symptoms. 

While trying to avoid them is easier said than done, it’s important to not feel guilty when you find yourself falling asleep when you don’t want to. Sometimes it’s the only thing the body can bring itself to do, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only solution in an attempt to feel better.

Further Reading:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/what-is-a-depression-nap_us_5a54e4c8e4b01e1a4b19fdad
https://www.refinery29.com/excessive-sleeping-symptoms-of-depression
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5449130/

 

Do you find yourself taking depression naps? What do you think can be done to avoid taking them?

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Preparing for Gloomy Days

September 11, 2018 in Educate Yourself

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Though mental health doesn’t take vacation days like school does, there’s just something about the end of summer that makes times a little more difficult. Of course, the back-to-school struggles are always real, but it could also be how it’s the final stretch of intense heat and humidity, and we’ve almost literally reached our boiling point. There’s the pressure to take advantage of those last few full days of freedom, or the anticipatory anxiety of the 180 that’s taking place in our schedules.

These are all reasons for the end of summer blues, but perhaps a significant reason is how these all come with the realization that the weather is changing, almost going through a whiplash in what it wants to be, and – to quote Jon Snow – “winter is coming.” While it can also be present in the summer, seasonal affective disorder is more infamously known for its onset during the colder, gloomier times of the year.

Transitions are never easy, and now that we’re currently in one of the more intense ones, here are a few things to keep in mind to make it a little easier:

  1. Remember that summer isn’t over: technically autumn doesn’t start until September 22nd. Labor Day may be over, but it’s the unofficial end of summer. The days are still long, and though most of them are spent inside school, the sun’s still out for outdoor activities like sports or lounging at the park with a book and an iced coffee.
  2. Think about the benefits of autumn: sweater weather! Halloween is 50 days away! The leaves changing color, walking ten feet outside without breaking out into a sweat, holiday season is near – the list doesn’t end. Each season comes with their own set of great things about them, and preparing for what comes with autumn will help now that the great things about summer are coming to an end.
  3. Organize: spring cleaning isn’t for another six months, but now’s also a perfect time to change things up to coincide with the changing weather. Now that school is currently in session, the routine has started to settle in. Giving binders, planners, and computers a quick refresher to adjust to what fits the class can make the upcoming assignments a little less daunting. Now’s also the time to start transitioning shorts and t-shirts out and replacing them with scarves and jeans.
  4. Summer will come back: if summer is your favorite season and you absolutely hate the colder seasons, just remember that they’re all cyclical. Time flies, and before you know it, the long, lazy days of summer will be back.

Do you like autumn? Are you doing anything, or have you done anything, to adjust now that summer’s ending and school is in session?

 

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The Bigger Picture

September 10, 2018 in Be Positive

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I recently stumbled upon this quote, and I’ve been thinking about what it’s saying and wanted to share what I thought of it. I feel that many times during a struggle or a time when we are transforming from a hard situation, others can judge. This does not necessarily mean they are judging in a harsh or negative way, but it just means that they walked into your situation in life on a day or moment that may have not been your best.

Many times in my life when I badly wanted to heal and improve certain aspects of myself, others saw one moment of my struggle and was just able to grasp that second. I want to make others aware that just because other people saw you on a day that you were really anxious, or a day that your thoughts were everywhere doesn’t mean that the progress you have made is lost. It’s a process and you’re growing more each day. Just put one foot in front of the other and focus on how you can make this world a better place. Keep fighting guys!

How do you feel when you encounter people during a hard time? Do you think that remembering that they are only catching a moment in time will help?

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Social Media as a Resource

September 6, 2018 in Social Media Guide

X44KOBJR0EIn the never-ending debate on the pros and cons of social media, particularly on mental health, we don’t seem to talk as much about how we can use social media as an outlet. While it isn’t a replacement for therapy and professional help by any means, social media can help to reassure us about how we’re feeling, whether it be through initial research or talking to other people who are going through the exact same thing.

Studies have shown that the internet is one of, if not the first resource adolescents use to learn more about depression. Doing so allows them to in anonymity, without the worry of asking people they know and any questions that can result from it. Going online for research can also include going to forums or blog posts by people their age, a more familiar source for information compared to adults like teachers and therapists.

Of course, what is social media without interaction with others? Social media is much more than public posting and curating content for mass consumption. The creation of direct messaging and group chats through popular apps like Snapchat, Instagram, and Twitter allows for a private space within the apps to talk to people whose posts may have felt relatable.

Just like that initial internet research, these sorts of spaces in social media allow for more anonymity, getting rid of a wall of potential judgment. The lack of face-to-face interaction can actually reduce the pressure of opening up, as well as having a space to truly feel like one’s self separate from real life, where it can feel like there’s significant more exposure. Though not therapists (and they shouldn’t be treated as such), these “mental health peers” are confidants who understand and have most likely experienced similar events and feelings, unlike those in real life who want to help, but can only offer sympathetic support.

As always, it’s important to keep safety in mind and making sure that those online are who they say they are. Once that’s established however, between the dashboard refreshing and photo posting, the envelope icon on the same app can provide some much needed alone time with those you can trust, but haven’t met.

Further reading:
https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/depressed-teens-turn-social-media-cope-survey-finds-n895951
https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/struggling-cope-online-mental-health-peer-can-lend-support-ncna896911

How do you feel about using direct messaging and group chats online to openly discuss personal issues, especially regarding mental health? Do you participate in any?

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Using Loud Music to Relax

September 5, 2018 in Educate Yourself

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Gavin Whitner via MusicOomph

The setting may feel all too familiar. You lock yourself in your room, blasting music at full volume, shutting yourself from everything else and everyone and surrounding yourself with noise. The genres can vary: maybe you prefer the sound of electric guitars and banging drums, bass-boosted beats, someone screaming, or maybe all of the above.

If the music you prefer tends to be on the louder side, listening to it can help during times when your depression and anxiety just won’t be quiet. A study conducted showed that those who like listening to “extreme” music when angry does not increase that anger, but instead helps to stabilize them. Those in the study also commented that they listened to the same kind of music when they were feeling down. And just like relaxing, calmer music, loud music can help decrease the emotions after listening, because it was something that they liked listening to. In fact, the upbeat music also help to make the people feel more inspired and active afterwards.

Having depression and anxiety comes with a lot of disjointed emotions, particularly anger and sadness, and sometimes, it feels like you’re feeling everything at once. It can feel really overwhelming, because where can you start to untangle these feelings? Loud music can do just that – the volume and style can almost be a companion, making you feel less alone because it’s audio reflection of what your brain is going through.

Loud music can also help process and regulate the more intense emotions, offering a space where you feel nothing but that noise. Sometimes, listening to upbeat, louder music music isn’t distracting but is instead the background noise needed to try and decipher what you’re feeling at that moment. It’s almost like listening to hype music when you’re working out: doing so lets you focus on the physical exercise, while doing so here lets you focus on the mental exercise.

So if you ever need an escape and something to cope, find that rock or rap playlist you enjoy and blast it. Just be mindful and use headphones, and be careful not to completely blast out your eardrums.

Do you like listening to “louder” music? If you like to listen to music to relax, what kind of genres do you prefer?

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A “Self-Evaluator” Site Designed Especially For College Students

August 31, 2018 in LINKS

528147Anxiety is skyrocketing among college students, but they often don’t know how to figure out how much the anxiety is interfering with their lives, or where to go on campus for help.

The Self Evaluator website is designed to help you solve these problems. The Duke University School of Medicine developed the Self-Evaluator for Jed’s college-student-support site, ULifeline.

It screens for thirteen of the most common mental health conditions that college students face. This screening does not give you a diagnosis, but it asks detailed questions that can identify mental health challenges that might be interfering with your thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

The site is also tailored to give you specific information about exactly when and where on your campus you can go to reach out for help.

This tool was created for college students and we think it is super useful!

In it you will answer survey questions with answers of Yes, No, or Unsure.

Then …

  • It will briefly give a simple screening of a problem that you MAY have
  • Then a link that gives more information on that potential problem

There is also an Ask the Experts tab with FAQs about certain topics—simply use the drop-down menu to choose a topic area.

Have you ever used screening tools? What do you think about this one? How was the FAQ/Ask the Experts information? What kinds of resources does your school have for times when you might need extra mental health support? 

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Should I Send It?

August 30, 2018 in Social Media Guide

We’ve already blogged about what it means to be in a respectful relationship, but now we want to tackle a more specific topic: Sexting. Sexting can seem harmless, especially when it is happening between two people in an exclusive relationship. But in any context, sexting can have extreme consequences. Watch these two short videos to get an idea.

As you can see, there is no way to know what will happen once you press send. Think before you send a picture that could get into the wrong hands.

Just as important as knowing the consequences of sexting is recognizing when your partner is disrespecting you. A major form of disrespect is when your partner pressures you to do anything you don’t want to. That means physically, emotionally, or through the use of technology. A partner may try to manipulate you into sending a picture to them by complimenting you or assuring you they won’t share it, but once that picture is sent, there is no getting it back. Even a semi-nude picture or explicit text can be considered child pornography if the person is under 18, and the receiver or sender could face criminal charges, according to Dosomething.org. Remember, your self worth is not measured by your body, and your body is not something that should be able to be seen by anyone.

For more information on Sexting, Respect, or Pressure to be involved in sexting, visit Love is Respect and Do Something.

Have you ever been pressured to share something you didn’t want to? How did you handle the situation? Share below.

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Is Depression In My Genes?

August 29, 2018 in Educate Yourself

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Where does depression come from? Like we talked about before, there are many theories (ideas for why something happens that scientists put together from facts and based on how the world seems to work).

There is some evidence or proof that part of why someone has depression comes from their genes—or basically the code your parents gave you that is an instruction manual for your body and mind.

On average in our population, about 38 percent of the way depression is inherited may be from genetics—and more so for girls than boys. Remember that statistic is talking about a whole population—we don’t know what it means for an individual person. For one person, genetics could be 70 percent of the reason they have depression—for someone else it might only be 10 percent.

About 10 percent of all people will experience depression. If someone has a parent or sibling with depression that risk goes up to about 20 to 30%.

Scientists haven’t found a “depression gene” yet. Its more likely there are a bunch of genes that contribute risk.

All of this means you don’t just get depression from your mom or dad—genes are part of the story but definitely not all of it. So don’t ever take that to mean you are programmed to be one way and there is nothing you can do about it.

You know how you open up a new phone and it has default settings? Think about those as your genes. Many phones are customizable–and you can decide how to set it up. Just because you get certain genes doesn’t mean you can’t work with what you got! (Read our post on epigenetics to find out more about how to work with what you inherit.)

Maybe you drop your phone and the screen cracks a little—then you get a new shiny case for it and now it looks awesome and you can’t tell there’s a crack. That’s kind of how the environment works—what’s around you and the experiences you have also effect who you become.

You are a collection of where you came from (your genes), what you grew up with (your environment), who you choose to become (your motivation and goals), and who helps you get there (your support system—including clinical professionals such as your therapist and doctor who provide you with tools you need to get you where you want to go).

Has anything made you feel as if your depression or anxiety are inevitable? Where did you get those messages? Share with us in the comments.

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Is It Okay To Vent?

August 28, 2018 in Educate Yourself

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Venting is a way of verbally airing one’s frustrations with others. It can be super emotional and intense. And depending on the way you handle it, venting might feel like a ton of bricks was taken off your chest, or it might be unpleasant and hurtful.

So is it okay to vent? And if so, when and how?

If you need to get something off your chest that is overwhelming you, distracting you, hurting you, or eating away at your mind, it can be okay to vent.

As long as you have a friend, family member, or other trusted person who is willing to listen to your strong feelings, there is no right or wrong time to find someone to talk to about something that’s bothering you, and this is something people tend to forget.

If you are struggling and need to let off steam, do not be afraid to reach out to someone you trust!

People tend to hide their questions and problems, afraid to come off as pushy or annoying to those around them. Keeping feelings bottled up can lead to all sorts of physical and emotional problems down the road. If you approach someone honestly and with courtesy, and explain that you need a listening ear as you vent some frustration, it’s okay as long as they’re also okay with it.

And then, after you’ve vented, maybe try to let your feelings out bit by bit, so they don’t build up so much.

If you want to know more about venting feelings, here is an article that talks about six ways venting is helpful and six ways it can be not-so-good. (One of the best tips is: it’s probably not the greatest idea to vent to the person who is annoying you at the moment. Find someone else, preferably someone who doesn’t even know that person.)

Remember—you are loved and you have worth, and the way you feel is not “stupid.” You are a human being with emotions, just the same as myself, or the person living next door to you. We are all connected.

What are some times you have vented? How did they go, for you and for the person listening? Is venting in your toolbox of strategies for handling stress? Tell us in the comments below.

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