There is an idea in psychology that we all have something called a happiness set point. A happiness set point is a term used to describe our general level of happiness, and it is unique to each of us. We all have different set points, and it is possible that some people, who seem to be happier than others, have naturally higher happiness set points.
Where does our happiness set point come from?
Your happiness set point partly comes from your genes. It also comes from our upbringing and personality traits that we develop when we are young and stay with us throughout our lives.
Does our set point change?
Yes, but only temporarily. In general, our happiness set point has the ability to increase around positive (such as winning the lottery) and negative (you do not perform well on an exam) events. However, eventually our happiness will return to our natural set point (with the exception of a few life events). In fact, research has shown that “lottery winners and those who have undergone extreme hardship due to a health crisis or accident, within a year or so to return to the level of happiness they had prior to their life change.” Basically if something good happens, your sense of happiness rises; if something bad happens; it falls. However, eventually it all returns back to baseline.
One of the most interesting areas of mental health research is “epigenetics”—the study of changes in organisms caused by modification of gene expression rather than changing the genetic code itself. In plain language, that means that we can inherit a predisposition to conditions like depression and anxiety—but there are also things we can do to change how our genes make themselves felt in our daily lives.
As Rachel Yehuda, Ph.D., says:
We’re just starting to understand that just because you’re born with a certain set of genes, you’re not in a biologic prison as a result of those genes.
Changes can be made in our behaviors that then change the way the genes function. Our genes are not set in stone.
Yehuda is professor of psychiatry and neuroscience at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine. She talks about epigenetics and the kinds of changes we can make to our genetic expression in this episode of a super-helpful podcast called “On Being.”
Sometimes those changes, for example, have to do with diet—like if you inherit a predisposition toward cancer, you don’t inherit actual tumors, but you inherit a greater possibility that if you eat a diet high in animal fat and low in healthy carbohydrates, you may increase your chances of your genes turning on the “switch” for cancer.
And sometimes those changes have to do with behaviors.
If you inherit the predisposition toward depression, and you respond to stress by locking yourself in your room, refusing to talk to anyone, and comparing yourself to peers on social media, then you may run the risk of turning on those switches that can lead your genes “express” the tendency toward depression.
But it works the other way, too! The more you learn to respond to stress with behaviors such as visiting a therapist, engaging in yoga or meditation, or talking with a friend, the more you can increase your chances of turning that switch off—or keeping it turned off.
Yehuda says that her research is showing that “some epigenetic changes occur in response to psychotherapy.”
If we’re saying that environmental circumstances can create one kind of change, a different environmental circumstance creates another kind of change. That’s very empowering.
Check out On Being on Facebook and Twitter for positive messages throughout your day!
Have you ever worried that your genes would “lock you in a prison”? Have you actually seen your coping strategies reduce your symptoms of anxiety and depression? What practices empower you? Tell us!
Positive self-talk can be an effective tool in boosting your mood. You can also reduce stress by eliminating negative self-talk. Learn more about the power of positive self-talk and stress management. Start being kind and gentle to yourself by trying one of these mantras:
I am capable.
I know who I am and I am enough.
I choose to be present in all that I do.
I choose to think thoughts that serve me well.
I choose to reach for a better feeling.
I share my happiness with those around me.
My body is my vehicle in life; I choose to fill it with goodness.
I feel energetic and alive.
My life is unfolding beautifully.
I am confident.
I always observe before reacting.
I know with time and effort I can achieve.
I love challenges and what I learn from overcoming them.
Each step is taking me to where I want to be.
Do you practice positive self-talk? If so, how? Do you ever recognize yourself thinking negative self-talk? Did any of those mantras help?
“Stress” has become such a loaded word in our society! The internet is full of articles about reducing or even “getting rid of stress“—as if stress were like a disease that has to be eradicated.
But did you know that humans are actually evolved to needa certain amount of stress?
Of course, being overwhelmed with stress all the time—usually called “chronic stress”—can hurt us. But a moderate amount of short-term stress can improve our powers of awareness and even improve our memory and short-term immune function.
There are now researchers who are studying the effects of short-term online stress on adolescents’ mood.
Researcher Pamela Wisniewski.
Pamela Wisniewski, Ph.D., is a principal investigator on a team of researchers studying the effects of cyberbullying on adolescents’ mood. She teaches computer science at the University of Central Florida, and she has given talks at Google and Facebook about her research into the effects of social media on adolescents. Popular media articles about cyberbullying usually focus on extreme episodes that had disastrous effects, leading adolescents and their parents to assume that all cyberbullying is super-damaging for teens. It’s true that extremely hurtful cyberbullying certainly happens—but Wisniewski says that, so far, researchers haven’t investigated how long the effects of negative online interactions actually last on adolescents’ moods.
Her research is finding that teens experience negative emotions right after the cyberbullying occurred—and that these emotions dissipate within about a week, because the online stress has taught the teens to develop resilience.
So the questions teens and parents face about using social media may not be so black-and-white, good-or-bad. Just as overusing technology and social media could hurt you, Wisniewski says, totally banning yourself (or being banned by a parental figure) from using online technology could also be detrimental for you. She says,
As much as there are negatives associated with online use, there are also a lot of benefits to using online technologies. Parents should be aware that restricting online use completely could hurt their children educationally and socially.
Here’s a scenario showing how stress could be good for you: maybe you’re on a group chat and the group starts ripping on another person in school, essentially bullying the other person behind her back. Should you join in and solidify your status as part of the group? This may seem like a good way to reduce your stress. But joining in could also increase stress in the long-term—after all, if the group is making fun of one person, they could also make fun of you. The “stress” in this scenario is the difficulty, in the moment, of figuring out how to respond.
Wisniewski’s research is saying that this kind of stressful situation, while painful, could also can help you build your resilience. Rather than your choices being monitored and enforced by someone else, such as a parent, you get the opportunity to identify what your values are and respond according to them. So you can learn to decide not to join in if you don’t want to join in.
You also get the opportunity to learn to make different choices. You could:
switch channels and make contact with other friends who are supportive.
open an app that helps you meditate, exercise, journal, or do something else that helps you take care of yourself.
[W]e may want to move toward new approaches that empower teens by enhancing their risk-coping, resilience, and self-regulatory behaviors, so that they can learn to more effectively protect themselves from online risks.
Wisniewski’s research also says parents and teens may benefit from learning to communicate more effectively about adolescents’ internet use. Rather than parents strictly overseeing their adolescents’ use of the internet, she says, parents and teens could establish more of a two-way system of communication that includes the parent trusting the adolescent in her use of the internet, and the adolescent asking her parent for advice when she encounters stressful online situations. In a 2017 talk Wisniewski gave at Carnegie Mellon University, she said,
Developmental psychologists have shown that some level of autonomy and risk-seeking behaviors are a natural and necessary part of adolescent and developmental growth. In fact, shielding teens from any and all online risks may be detrimental to this process.
What kinds of strategies have your parents used to reduce or eliminate your online stress? How have you responded to these strategies? And how have negative interactions with peers online affected your own mood? Share your experiences in the comments!
In a previous blog, one of our adolescent blogging ambassadors talked about some benefits of journaling. The practice of journaling regularly has physical benefits—for example, it really helps strengthen the immune system! Emotionally, it helps us organize our thoughts, explore and articulate our emotions, and better appreciate our lives by helping us focus on positive experiences and attitudes.
But we may still find it difficult to make time to do it. We may struggle to find a time to journal or feel stuck in negative emotions. Let’s look at some ways to overcome these challenges and improve your journaling practice.
Pick out the journal that’s right for you
Make the experience enjoyable from the start by lingering over your choice of journal. There are so many different styles to choose from, and you don’t have to try just one. Maybe you’d like to use paper and pen—you can even make your own. Or maybe you prefer to journal with your phone or tablet—if so, there are many cool apps.
There are journals designed for specific purposes, such as gratitude journals and mood journals. As you make your selection, think about the goals you’d like to achieve in your journaling practice. For example, do you want to reduce your stress, manage your anger, or list meaningful moments of your life? Thinking about your purposes can help you choose a journal that supports you.
If you have trouble blocking out a certain “writing time” in your day, find a journal that includes notifications. For example, a free mood-journal app called “My Life My Voice” lets you set electronic reminders, and it lets you journal not just with words but also with emoticons, photos, and voice recordings. It also lets you see trends in your moods over time, and it gives you useful tips on how better to manage your negative emotions.
Find ways to work through negative emotions that come up during journaling
One of the biggest barriers to journaling is focusing too much on our negative emotions. If we don’t have strategies to work through these emotions, journaling might make us feel even more upset. Here are some strategies:
Look at your thoughts in a more objective way. Journaling can help you recognize your irrational and distorted thoughts. As you journal, identify these thoughts, then try replacing them by writing more objective ones. Replacing means not repressing them but putting them in context. Gratitude journals are particularly good at countering depressive thoughts by reminding us how much we appreciate all we have. Journals can also change our attitudes about relationships. For example, after having an argument with your mom, you might fume in your journal, “I think she obviously does not care about my feelings at all!” But as journaling helps you calm down, you may try to look at evidence about that first feeling: “Well, she was the one who asked me to talk with her.” The evidence may change your mind: “Maybe she does care about me!”
Learn to see nuances in your emotions. Have you ever felt totally annoyed by someone you deeply love? That’s nuance: it means being able to hold seemingly conflicting feelings at the same time. For example, when someone you trust lies to you, you may feel a burst of anger, and you may also feel disappointed and hurt. It’s helpful to be able to understand that we’re complicated beings whose feelings are not always so black-and-white.
Try to end your journal entries on a positive note. The only attitudes and behavior we can change is our own. Think about not-so-pleasant moments as learning experiences, and contemplate which of your own attitudes and behaviors you could change to make life better next time. For example, after having an unproductive study night, you may wind up criticizing yourself in your journal—and then, as you continue journaling, you could strategize about ways to avoid distractions next time. The past cannot be changed, but journaling about your attitudes towards the past can help you write new stories for your future.
Talk about your journal with your therapist or someone else you trust.
Journaling can be a valuable tool to help both you and your therapist better understand your approaches toward life. Through talking about your journal with your therapist, you may improve your ability to recognize patterns in your emotions. Sharing your journal with trusted adults can help you identify triggers of negative feelings and experiences and create ways to approach them more effectively in the future. It can also help build trust in your relationships.
What kinds of journaling experiences have you had? What challenges have you encountered, and how did you approach them? Share your experiences, stories, and strategies in the comments.
Do you ever feel too attached to your phone? We all get upset when our phones fall into puddles, or when we have to put our phones away during class.
But some people feel super intense discomfort when they get separated from their phones. Researchers have named this state of mind “nomophobia.” Its important to note that this is not a medical diagnosis right now, but a term some researchers are using to describe a trend.
It stands for “no mobile phobia.” People who experience nomophobia feel like their phone is like an extension of their body, so taking it away makes them feel as though someone just walked away with their hand! They feel addicted to their phones.
One recent study found that “dependent personalities”—people who have an excessive need for affirmation from others, and who fear separation—are the most likely to feel distressed when they’re not allowed to use their phones. Also, women showed significantly stronger feelings of attachment than men did.
The good news from this study is that there is one discipline that may ease these feelings—mindfulness!
(Is there any mental health condition that mindfulness does not help?!)
There are many ways to improve one’s mindfulness. In this study, participants practiced meditation. In general mindfulness helps people who struggle with unhealthy attachments, whether it’s to their phone, a loved one, a substance, an outcome of a situation, and so on. Plus, mindfulness can help us in many ways, not just with attachment! Practicing mindfulness can decrease stress, increase focus, and improve memory!
Psychology Todayrecommends some other strategies to help with nomophobia:
Set aside times each day to turn off your cell phone and experience either face-to-face conversations or solitude.
Balance screen time and in-person time each week. For every hour you invest in front of a screen, invest one in human contact.
Try a technology fast every month, where you actually go for a day or more without a computer, tablet or phone. You’ll feel liberated.
Human beings didn’t always sleep with phones on their nightstands or even under their pillows. Place your phone at least 15 feet away from you when you sleep at night. You’ll have to get up to push “snooze” on your alarm clock, but this way you’re less attached while you sleep.
Create zones in your days when you spend time using technology, and other blocks of time for organic, genuine interaction with people.
What do you think about nomophobia? How many minutes (or seconds) pass between the time you wake up and the time you check your phone? Have you ever tried to practice mindfulness yourself? Share your experiences in the comments.
It is hard saying that its time to get help for how you feel for a lot of different reasons. One of the most common reasons is because the actual symptoms of depression can make it tough to want to get help.
Guilt — Depression can make you feel like everything that goes wrong is your fault. You also feel bad for all kinds of different things. Some young people feel bad that they would have to get treatment for depression, too. They think only if they could take care of their problems on their own, they wouldn’t have to ask for help or trouble their parents to take them to the doctor or therapist. The fact is that depression is not your fault – just like any other illness or disease is not your fault either.
Not feeling motivated — Part of depression is not feeling up to doing much of anything. You would rather stay in bed or in the house than face the world. Going to see a therapist or a doctor about an emotional problem is tough for anyone, but especially if you don’t feel like even doing things you used to think were fun. It can help to have a friend or family member go with you and try to help you get to your appointments so you can get better.
Having a hard time concentrating — Even if you do get to a therapist, participating in therapy appointments can be a lot of work. You need to really think about how you think and how you have dealt with different experiences in the past so you can learn from them. When you are depressed, you can have a hard time focusing and concentrating on things. Your brain can feel worn out and like mush – that can make participating in therapy hard. Be open with your therapist. If you feel like you can’t focus, they can change or slow down their strategy – or talk to your doctor about whether adding medications would help.
Lack of energy — Being depressed can be a draining process. You might feel like you would rather be sleeping or just like you have no energy to do anything. Even if you were motivated, you’d have no energy to get yourself to actually do anything. This is another reason having a support person can be really helpful.
Sleep disturbances — Not being able to sleep well can really take a toll on anyone, but especially if you are already experiencing other symptoms of depression. Talk to your doctor or therapist about the problems you have with sleeping. Keep a sleep diary to help you let them know exactly what is going on. Everyone is different, but usually there are different strategies that can help. Getting good sleep can make a world of difference in how you feel. Here are some strategies which may help you.
A major part of adolescence and young adulthood is finding and keeping a job. When struggling with anxiety or depression, this can create obstacles to being successful in your work. Many questions can arise: What is needed to support your mental health? Should you tell your employer? If so, how much should I disclose?
To start, it is important that you know your rights! Psychological disabilities are covered under the Americans With Disabilities Act. Requests for accommodations can usually be made to the company’s Human Resources department.
Consider your work environment before disclosing mental health concerns. Unfortunately, stigma exists in work environments. It is important to protect yourself from any harm that might be caused by speaking on your mental health concerns. If it turns out you think more harm than good would come of talking about your mental health, it might be best to find another place to work that is more respectful of mental health. Lastly, the article recommends some flexibility. It’s important to find that balance between meeting the needs of the job without sacrificing your wellbeing. This might require some discussion between you and your employer, so it’s important to be flexible and find a compromise that fits the needs on both sides.
Do you have any experience with juggling a mental health concern and work? We’d love to hear any tips you have in the comments below!
Self-care is all about improving ourselves, having more energy and being more satisfied with the events happening in and around us.
Self-care involves a daily routine to achieve these goals by implementing the three core methods of self-care which, when used together, can lead to a better well-being and happiness within oneself.
One of these core components to taking care of ourselves is exercise.
Exercise is not just beneficial physically, but also mentally. By engaging in vigorous exercise, which is defined as “heart racing and body sweating” for 20 to 60 minutes a week.
Exercise increases cardiovascular activity, burns extra calories, but most importantly, it releases endorphins in the brain, which have a role in reducing stress and managing depression, as well as decreases the stress hormones in the body, like cortisol.
Exercise can also be a great oulet for frustrations and anger (like martial arts or weight training). It can take your mind off of problems and troubling thoughts, just by placing you in a different environment and forcing you to focus on your deep breathing.
Research has shown that even minimal exercise is better than none, so even starting with walking the dog around the block a few times can increase your heart rate and get you moving! (Plus, you get to spend time with your furry friend!) Also, it can be really beneficial to start an exercise routine with friends which allows you to motivate each other day-to-day.
It is proven that it takes 21+ days to make an activity a routine, so summer is the perfect time to start getting moving, especially outside! Once you have done moderate exercise for a few weeks, you can increase the intensity, which yields even more benefits, and more feelings of happiness!
Some easy ways to start exercising are: cycling, jogging, Zumba, swimming, and dancing.
Yoga is also another tool to use which incorporates small meditation, increased flexibility and learning about yourself (inside or outside).
Overall, for motivation, remember the benefits of exercise:
getting better sleep
thinking more clearly
having more energy for the day
speed up your metabolism
improved cholesterol, blood pressure and blood sugars
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