SOVA Blog

Realistic resolutions

January 5, 2018 in Be Positive

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New Year’s season is the time everyone’s making resolutions: drop those extra pounds, start training for that half- or full-marathon, totally nix sugar (and maybe even go full vegan or Paleo!), earn straight-As, and get into Harvard with a full scholarship.

Is it any wonder that folks get to Valentine’s Day feeling defeated on all counts?

So how do you improve without totally tanking within a matter of weeks? Here are three New Year’s tips to help you sustain improvement throughout the year.

  1. Accept that New Year’s is not a time to overhaul your life.

Instead of making your New Year’s goal to achieve fame, success, and superstar status, change the focus to gradual lifestyle changes that are easier on your mind. Some examples: remembering to be grateful, treating everyone you meet like a new friend, and taking the time to listen to one person per day.

  1. Make your operative words not “achievement” and “success,” but “improvement” and “sustainability.”

“Winning,” “likes,” and “followers” have been catchwords for the online self-congratulatory selfie culture. But these ideas run counter to sustaining realistic improvements over the long haul. Selfies may document a momentary gain, but check back with those folks in a couple of months, and it’s likely they’re back at square one, struggling with the same problems they started with.

  1. Slow and easy wins the race.

Life is not a race, anyway! When you start with small improvements and change one behavior at a time—one day at a time—you increase your chances of making the changes stick. Initially, you may feel like you’re losing the “race,” but as the folks who try to change everything all at once wind up floundering, you’ll watch your own improvements rack up. … And if you wind up moving two steps forward and one step back, it’s okay—if you don’t beat yourself up, you’ll be fine in the long run.

Bonus tip: Communicate, and ask for help!

This is a theme that runs through SOVA: people who ask for help usually do better. And they put themselves in a position to pass that help along later to others who need it.

Wishing you a Happy New Year!

What improvements would you like to make this year? How do you think you’ll go about working toward them?

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What Is “Self-Esteem,” Anyway?

January 4, 2018 in Educate Yourself, Social Media Guide

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Studies have found that teens today have the same level of anxiety as psychiatric patients did in the 1950s, and the difficulties of managing this anxiety can diminish healthy self-esteem, leading in turn to depression. We hear so much about how we all need to have a high level of self-esteem.

But what does “healthy self-esteem” mean, anyway?

One clue to understanding any idea is to look at how its words evolved. We often think that holding someone in “high esteem” is to love them, so we often think of having “self-esteem” as loving ourselves. But let’s look at the older meanings, too.

“Esteem” was first used as an English word that meant “worth.” It came into English from very old French and Latin words that meant “to appraise” and “to estimate”—can you hear how “esteem” and “estimate” sound similar?

So self-esteem can mean how we “appraise” ourselves or “estimate” our “worth.” It’s like our selves—our bodies, minds, spirits—are like a house full of valuables, and we are the appraisers, estimating how much our house and all its contents are worth.

Here are two helpful new understandings we can draw from just looking at the words:

Self: We get to be the appraisers. Nobody else but we ourselves. If we give the power to appraise our estates to somebody else, then we give away our own power to “estimate our worth.”

Appraisal: Estimating our worth depends on having realistic attitudes. If we look at our “riches” and see only what’s missing—what we think should be there and isn’t—then we don’t do an accurate job of appraising our worth. But if we look at our riches and appreciate what we do have, then we have a better chance of building on that accurate appraisal.

Hear how the words “appraise” and “appreciate” sound the same?—they come from the same ancient Latin roots, too!

Habits that can “depreciate” our sense of ourselves:

  • Comparing ourselves to other people on social media
  • Looking in the mirror and seeing only defects
  • Trying to earn perfect grades

Habits that can help us more accurately “appreciate” ourselves:

  • Using social media to connect with others
  • Each time we look in the mirror, finding one or two things we appreciate in what we see
  • Looking at our improvements, rather than trying to earn perfect grades
  • Being patient with ourselves and taking life one day at a time

As we learn to more accurately “estimate” and “appreciate” our particular set of riches, we give ourselves space to imagine what we really want for ourselves, and we gain resilience and strength to plan and build our lives.

What does “self-esteem” mean to you? What are some other habits you use to build your self-esteem? Share with others who may benefit from hearing your experiences!

Goodbye 2017 …

January 1, 2018 in Be Positive

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What are your goals for 2018?  We’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Keep Calm and Listen to White Noise

December 29, 2017 in LINKS

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Sometimes you might want to listen to something while you’re reading, working, or trying to relax but music is too distracting. Try a “white noise” app or website! On noisy summer nights, you can switch on your white noise to drown out the sound of your neighbor mowing the lawn at 11 p.m.

  • Free white noise app: White Noise Lite
  • You can also buy a white noise machine for around $50.
  • Listening to white noise instead of music can help you to be more focused, calm, and productive!  More info on what white noise can do for your brain here.

So tune into that soothing static and relax!

How did listening to white noise make you feel? 

Happy Holidays

December 25, 2017 in Be Positive

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The SOVA Project wishes you a very happy and peaceful holiday season.

Do you celebrate this time of the year?  If so, how?  Do you have any specific family or cultural traditions that are special? We’d love to hear in the comments below!   

Blur Your Face and Change Your Voice With This New App

December 22, 2017 in LINKS

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The innovation of apps and social media tools to improve mental healthcare and bring it to more people has benefited many users in the past few years. One new app called Huddle came out of the experience of its founder, Dan Blackman, in the small town where he grew up.

In Blackman’s hometown, everybody knew each other. This type of tightly knit community can provide great support on its own. On the other hand, if you’re afraid of your small community judging you, it can make it harder to ask for the help you need. Blackman’s father suffered from addiction to alcohol and didn’t get the help he needed due to the stigma in his community.

So Blackman invented Huddle.

This app allows you to join virtual support groups and communicate with other members by posting and responding to videos. If you’re super concerned about people knowing who you are, Huddle allows you to blur out your face, create an anonymous username, and enable software that changes the sound of your voice.

These features allow Huddle’s users to discuss their feelings “face to face” without showing others their identity. They also allow other users to see that they aren’t alone in facing the problems and questions they have.

Want to learn more about Huddle? Watch this YouTube video or check out this article.

Hopefully Huddle and similar apps will bring community to more and more people.

Would you try Huddle? If so, what are the features that attract you? If not, why not? Tell us what you think below!

How Facebook Tries to Prevent Suicide

December 21, 2017 in Social Media Guide

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Healthcare professionals and government officials have been confronting suicide for years by implementing various self-harm and suicide prevention programs. Now, social-media companies like Facebook are taking part in the fight against suicide—by using artificial intelligence (AI).

Companies that run social media platforms are becoming more and more concerned about their users’ digital self-harm. For example, this year Facebook invested in a form of AI that reads the text in posts to look for individual users’ emotional distress and potential for self-harm. The software also looks for users’ comments such as “Are you OK?” and “Can I help?”—these can indicate that someone has suicidal thoughts.

When the software finds posts like these, it sends them to a team of trained reviewers who can work with first responders if necessary, or else contact users via Facebook Messenger with links to verified crisis-support resources.

Facebook reported that in the month before Thanksgiving 2017, the trained team worked with first responders on more than 100 possible crisis situations that the AI software identified. (Users can still report suspicion of people in crisis, and these reports go through the same human reviews that the AI reports do.)

Computer science is increasingly able to identify people’s risks for harming themselves, and this is a novel approach to mental health care. The hope is that this online strategy may help people who might be afraid to seek treatment “in real life.”

Technology can be a double-edged sword when it comes to our wellbeing. It’s important every so often to take a step back and think: does our use of social media makes us feel better? When we log onto apps, it can can help us connect with loved ones for support—but on the other hand, it can also turn into an outlet for negative interactions and thoughts.

Challenge yourself to use social media to support yourself and others! Keep your wellness in mind when using Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook.

Read more about Facebook’s new artificial intelligence project here.

What do you think about Facebook using AI to monitor your risks for self-harm? Do you think this will make for a safer social-media environment in the future? We would love to hear from you … please share your thoughts below!

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How Teens Cope With Digital Stress

December 20, 2017 in Educate Yourself, Social Media Guide

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Teens live with their phones in their pockets, and this has created tons of entertainment for you—but it has also created stress. Teens deal with cyber-bullying, digital self-harm, fake accounts, and many other problems that can contribute to anxiety and depression.

Most research on digital stress focuses on coping with social stress and cyber-bullying. But other online problems also exist, including digital impersonation, smothering, and hacking.

A super interesting article in the Journal of Adolescent Research looked at hundreds of teens’ posts online and found out five ways that teens cope with this “digital stress” and reduce their anxiety when they scroll through their feeds. Here’s a rundown of these strategies:

1. Get help from others—This was the most common way teens approach problems with cyberbullying.

  • Talk to people who care about you: accept their support to “erase the things the bully said.” When you start to surround yourself with people who care about you, you realize how many strengths you actually have. A therapist, teacher, principal, or school counselor could help mediate the situation.

2. Communicate directly

  • Confront the person causing the stress. Tell that person how you feel about what they said or did. You may come to understand the motivations behind the other person’s behavior. Talking with people directly is a challenging prospect—keep in mind that it takes practice. Here are some tips to help you build skills in healthy confrontation. Remember—it’s not your fault to be a target of nasty contact.

3. Cut ties—This was the most common way teens approach digital problems that arise in close relationships.

  • Stop responding.
  • Delete negative comments.
  • Make new friends.
  • Go offline.
  • Remember—the digital world is only one part of your life, and you have the right to take time out if online interactions are upsetting you.

4. Ignore the situation

  • Turn your attention away from the interaction and stop caring what other people think of you.
  • Focus on positive posts.
  • Interact only with those who would lift you up and encourage you.

5. Use online recourse

  • Report the person causing the stress.
  • Block the person.
  • Stay off the platform.

To read more in depth about these strategies, check out the original article here.

These are just a few suggestions from other teens, but we bet that you’ve found other ways to cope with digital stress. When you feel anxiety caused by social media, what are some ways you handle this stress? Share your strategies below!

Why Not Ask For Help?

December 19, 2017 in Educate Yourself

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Have you ever wanted to talk to a therapist or psychologist about difficult feelings, but hesitated? If you’ve ever felt this way, you are not alone. The reasons for this hesitation are often rooted in people’s backgrounds, and culture can be one of those influences. 

What is culture?

Culture is a confusing word, and can have a lot of different meanings. One understanding of culture is that it’s the common ideas, traditions, and behaviors of a certain group of people.

Let’s look at one example of cultural influences over asking for help: Asian Americans and mental health treatment.

Asian Americans are often seen as highly educated, wealthy, and super successful. No problems, right?

But in the past year, more than 2.2 million Asian Americans struggled with a mental illness. That’s almost 12 percent of all Asian Americans. And as few as 6% of them got professional help. So compared to people from other cultures, Asian Americans are much less likely to reach out for help.

It’s possible that their cultures influence many Asians to avoid asking for treatment. Some underlying reasons:

Language: some Asian Americans do not feel comfortable talking with a therapist in English. If they cannot find a qualified therapist who speaks their own language, they may stop going to therapy.

Availability of resources: not all Asian Americans have the opportunity to access mental health care and services. As many as 15% of Asian Americans don’t have health insurance to cover treatment. Others might not know about free or reduced-price services that may be available in their area.

“Model-minority pressure”: When there are problems, Asian Americans are more likely to restrict their help-seeking to their families and friends. Why is talking with mental health professionals a taboo in many Asian American families? San Francisco psychiatrist Ravi Chandra pointed out that part of the reason might be because many Asian Americans feel “model-minority” pressure. Model minority is a term used to describe that stereotype of Asians being super-successful and not in need of help. This kind of pressure makes Asians feel like they shouldn’t let anyone outside their families see their problems. They feel they must live up to society’s stereotypical idea that they are free from struggle and pain. 

Family influence: In Asian American cultures, the family is more important than the individual. When a person asks for mental health treatment, it can look like she is privileging herself above the family, which presents the risk of casting shame and stigma on their relatives.

Though cultural influences can be strong, each individual has their own unique experiences. Asian Americans in general are less likely to ask for professional help, but some might still reach out.

Asian Americans are just one culture among many in our society. If you are having mental health problems and find it difficult to ask for help, try to ask yourself why you’re feeling this way. Here are a few reasons:

  • Family expectations
  • Cultural expectations
  • Lack of knowledge about how to look for a helping professional
  • Being afraid of what to say to the therapist once you’re in the office
  • A previous bad experience with a counselor

One way to break the silence is to talk with a trusted adult to gain perspective. It could be a parent, or it could be an aunt/uncle, family friend, teacher, or church or congregational leader.

And if you have succeeded in finding help for yourself, you can pass that support along to others who may be suffering in silence. Some tips:

  • Know that emotional difficulties affect everyone differently, no matter where they’re from or how they’re raised.
  • Understand that your friend’s family and ethnicity may be affecting their willingness to reach out for help. Be sensitive and open when talking about mental health issues with your peers.
  • Encourage them to talk with a trusted adult to connect them to people that can help them.

It’s worth trying to work through these challenges, because professional help can make folks feel better!

If you have hesitated to ask for help and have moved past these feelings, how did you do it?  If you’re still hesitating, what might be the reasons that are keeping you from getting professional help? Sharing your own experiences can help others overcome these barriers!

 

 

Community Spotlight: Julius Boatwright, Part 2

December 13, 2017 in Educate Yourself

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Recently we interviewed Julius Boatwright, and we featured the first part of his interview yesterday on the blog. Here is Part Two of our sit down.

On the main page of your website you cite a statistic that the African American rate for serious mental illness in Allegheny County is higher than the national rate. Has your work helped elucidate why this is the case?

I had a little bit of an understanding of that prior to my work. Pittsburgh is so segregated; there’s a lot of talk about equity and inclusivity, but it doesn’t always work that way. It sounds really good on paper, but what is equity? One thing that I have been trying to be very intentional about is keeping in mind that as our conversations grow and more people get involved, this doesn’t mean that we are more “equitable.” I still go out and talk to people the way that we started two years ago. To me, even though I am only one man, I envision having an army of people like me. We’d share a similar approach to sharing conversations, collecting stories, and collectively rewriting the narrative. To your question, that is the only way to keep everyone’s voice heard. I go to so many meetings and community conversations. There are very few people who are actually on the ground, in the trenches, knocking on people’s doors. This is truly meeting people where they are at. So, I am trying to be intentional about asking people what their story is and going from there. We can really make a difference in the black community using this grassroots approach. It’s not  always about policies and delivering care packages; it’s about letting people know that they are valuable and that their story deserves to be heard.

108e79_abd3dde389254a49b46fb8c62ec4ea21_mv2[See Steel Smiling’s website: https://www.steelsmilingpgh.org/]

[See Julius’ Instagram, where he features stories from street therapy and community conversations.]

You’re letting them know they are not just part of the statistic. Dr. Radovic, the founder of SOVA, has experienced generational differences in attitudes regarding mental health treatment in her clinic, and she was anxious to see if you had similar experiences. Do young people tend to be more open—or more resistant—to discussing mental health, in your experience?

In our community conversations, we are trying to have an intergenerational experience, where we equally value the areas impacting our youth and our elders.  We want to counter the “you don’t understand me” mentality because everybody’s challenged with something. We are breaking down generational barriers and creating a shared language. Even high level professionals have problems too. I was speaking with a CEO at my last community conversation about their self-hidden struggles with anxiety, and with another CEO about their depression. All of our stories matter, and everyone deals with mental health challenges in some fashion.

You and your team at Steel Smiling have accomplished many goals and broken down barriers in just two years—not even! What accomplishment are you most proud of?

We’re proud that the community is embracing it! Now, the community is involved and we are bringing everyone together and creating a shift in the mental health culture. In some ways, we are making mental health “cool,” as silly as it sounds. Now Steel Smiling is a community, and there is unity in our communities.

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What do you envision for Steel Smiling in the future?

I envision a shared culture of community and growth. How can we collaborate with individuals from all communities, whether they be in college or the workforce, to empower them to be mental health advocates? We want to create an army to provide support in our community. Our short-term goal is to continue hosting our community conversations and keep meeting people one-on-one through our street therapy program.

If you were the head of the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, what would you implement to help combat the problems you’ve encountered as a social worker?

I would say everything has to involve people on the ground. When lawmakers and politicians meet to discuss policies, the audience must include community members too.

So, what do you do if someone is not ready to discuss mental health yet?

I try to be mindful and encourage informal therapeutic support. I’ve had people ask me “Who sent you?!”— because not everyone is ready. I try to let them know that it is a safe space and in the end, they make the decision to open up or not.

If you had an opportunity to speak to the world about mental health, what would you tell them?

I would say that it doesn’t discriminate and shouldn’t be stigmatized. Mental health isn’t a bad thing because we’re all impacted by it. If you asked anyone how their life has been changed by mental health, they would have an answer. We need to think about mental health on the same level as physical health, because everyone has something. Ultimately, we need to be more proactive in our approach to care.

If you were in my seat and could ask yourself one question in this interview what would it be?

What are you doing to take care of yourself?

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And what would be your answer?

I’m so committed to work, and I don’t know if that’s the right word to use. I feel like the clock is always ticking and I’m always thinking there is something I could be doing for the community. I don’t understand it when people say they are bored, because there is always so much to do. I’m learning that I cannot do all of this work without taking care of myself. Recently, I’ve been focused on getting in touch with my five senses. I’m practicing mindfulness and getting better at telling myself to take a break. I’m also focused on contentment and understanding “what will be, will be.” I’m embracing that and being happy.

Do you have anything else you want to tell our readers?

If you feel like you need support, know that it’s okay and there are people out there available for you. Also, it’s normal to hesitate to take this first step. Be okay with taking this initial step, because it will probably be the best decision of your life.

Check out Steel Smiling and the amazing work Julius and his colleagues are doing! Do you have any additional questions for Julius? What are you thoughts about the work he’s doing? Julius and the SOVA Project would love to hear from you!