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by Moderator ★

Who do You Interact with on Social Media?

September 2, 2021 in Social Media Guide

Obviously, social media is a form of communication. However, compared to our offline lives, where we’re likely not talking to more than a few people at a time, being on social media can feel like yelling out to the whole entire world, where your words can be seen by anyone, everyone, and with many of whom have the ability to respond.

Of course, this isn’t the case for everyone, depending on which platform you’re using, whether you’re public or private, or if you have selected lists of friends who can view your content. These tactics are all ideal ways to have as much of a positive social media experience as possible, but we want to take a step back for those accounts and times that you want to speak on a more public platform.

For those with more public accounts, it’s easy to engage with, well, everyone. You may find yourself in the comment section of TikToks or YouTube, or in the replies of Twitter threads or popular Instagram posts. You may even be initiating the public discussion by tweeting on your public account or putting up a discussion question on an Instagram story.

Social media can be a great outlet for those with social anxiety, giving those with it a space to talk more candidly and without worry about things like interpreting people’s reactions in real time. However, while public accounts can be beneficial to meet others without the pressure of having to respond right away or worrying that they’re judging you in that moment, it can also be harmful, because it can make you vulnerable to hate and troll comments, as well as tempting you to respond to hate comments on other people’s posts. The more you engage with negative interactions online, the more likely you are to feel anxious about how these interactions go, and you may end up internalizing some of the hurtful things that are said towards you, even by complete strangers.

Regardless if you have private or public accounts, you should have the intent of interacting with those that you feel like would give you a more positive experience. While it may be tempting to bite back against a rude comment on a YouTube video, consider leaving a message of support instead for the person who originally posted the video. If someone you know is leaving hateful content on your FaceBook feed, but you don’t know them too well, instead of responding, you can mute or block them. 

Social media interactions aren’t always going to be perfect, happy, or positive, but if you can take control over what you can to avoid the negative people instead of engaging with them, you’re likely to feel less anxiety about logging on and the content you’re putting up and interacting with.

Do you prefer to have public social media accounts, or do you have more locked/private ones? Who do you usually talk to on social media? If you’ve interacted with people who aren’t a part of your offline life, what have those interactions been like?

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Reducing Test Anxiety

September 1, 2021 in Educate Yourself

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One of the greatest causes of stress in adolescents is feeling like that they have to do well in school. A significant contributor to this, and what determines a good portion of grades, are tests. This also includes larger tests like AP exams and standardized tests like the ACTs and SATs.

If you find yourself having anxiety attacks or feel that anxiety symptoms heighten as exams approach, you’re not alone. Test anxiety is a real thing, described by the Anxiety and Depression Association of America as a subset of performance anxiety, or stage fright. It’s the feeling that comes when you feel like you have to do your very best at something because this is the only opportunity you have to show it, and you don’t get another chance. It’s knowing that this is the only activity you’ll be doing for an extended period of time, with little to no opportunities for a break or to take a moment to relax. It’s the fear of what other people may think of you if you don’t meet their expectations when you get your results back.

In short, test anxiety is not fun.

However, it’s something that people are starting to recognize. The ETS, the company behind all those frustrating standardized tests, has a publicly accessible guide explaining what test anxiety is and offers advice on how to healthily prepare for exams. The Princeton Review, one of the publishers of endless exam preparation books, also offers tips to help reduce test anxiety. It can feel like these sorts of tips can feel like they’re preaching to the choir, and are easier said than done. Positive thinking and deep breathing almost feel obvious, but sometimes, it’s difficult to do when you’re overwhelmed with not just learning the material, but the action of taking the exam too.

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A study in England researched whether schools could do something to help reduce test anxiety while preparing for exams a few years ago. Here, they gave hundreds of students an electronically-based program through a CD they could use on their computers called Strategies to Tackle Exam Pressure and Stress (STEPS). STEPS was divided into six 30 to 40 minute sessions that the student could complete whenever they wanted. Each session focused on different ways of coping with test anxiety, with one session focusing on self-reflective exercises, to another showing videos of other students candidly talking about their own experiences with exams and how they manage their anxiety with it. Some teachers had the students work on the sessions during classes, while others could work on them at home.

The study didn’t specifically choose students who expressed that they experience test anxiety and delivered it to all sorts of students. This was done in order to see if the program could benefit anyone, regardless of stress level, as well as making sure that those who do experience test anxiety did not feel self-conscious for being the only ones using it. After they collected the results after the time period was over, the study found that those with a lower level of stress when it came to exams were less likely to finish the STEPS sessions, while those who experienced test anxiety were more likely to finish the entire thing. The latter group also showed a significant reduction in their worry and tension when it came to exams after completing the program.

These sorts of findings are important because it lets schools know that there is some sort of benefit in delivering methods for students to reduce their test anxiety, and it’s something that they can do on their own accord and don’t have to lose class time for. It’s also important to recognize that test anxiety does in fact exist, and reducing it can reassure students that doing well on exams is more than likely.

Do you experience test anxiety? Do you think that it’s common in a lot of students? How do you think schools and teachers can address test anxiety and reduce it?

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When Coping Mechanisms No Longer Work

August 31, 2021 in Educate Yourself

We all have things that we turn to when we need to improve our mood. Many also have things to turn to when depressive and anxiety symptoms start to surface. 

Coping mechanisms can be, well, anything. If it’s something you seek out to make yourself feel better, then that’s a coping mechanism. However, not all coping mechanisms are created equal, and while what makes one feel better already naturally differs from person to person, the effect they have can also drastically be different too.

There are a number of reasons why coping mechanisms may stop being so effective for you, especially if they’re ones that you’ve had for a long time. For example, it might have just become such a natural part of your daily routine that the drastic, immediate effects on your mood are no longer happening. You may find yourself getting bored of your go-to coping mechanisms, such as listening to the same playlist of songs or doing a specific kind of workout. At first, you might feel guilty that your mood isn’t increasing and your mental illness symptoms aren’t decreasing, but having a change in routine and having certain habits run their course and be less effective is a natural thing that happens with a lot of different things.

Coping mechanisms aren’t always good for you, either. This includes things like substance abuse, scrolling endlessly on social media, and withdrawing from others. If you find yourself turning to coping mechanisms that are negatively affecting not just you, but causing worry and negatively affecting those around you, it may also be worth considering if these coping mechanisms are actually helping you feel better or not.

There’s nothing wrong with abandoning a coping mechanisms (and for those that are more harmful, it can be a good thing to abandon it!). If anything, it signifies that it’s time for a change, and an opportunity to find other healthier, beneficial ways to increase your mood and try something new!

What are your current coping mechanisms if you feel depressive and/or anxiety symptoms start to surface? Have you had any old ones that you ended up abandoning? What were they and why did you stop using them?

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Using Upbeat Music to Feel Better

August 30, 2021 in Be Positive

It can be easy to put on music that matches your mood when you’re not feeling your best. The best way to describe it is by thinking of the phrase “misery loves company,” or that having something (or someone) that feels just as bad as you are makes you feel slightly less alone. Every now and then, we just want songs to wallow in that we can relate to, whether it be about heartbreak, loneliness, sadness, or a combination of all three, or anything else on top of that. 

And although this is a completely valid way of coping, studies have found that listening to more upbeat, happier music can have a literal positive effect on your mood, especially when you’re listening to it with the intent of wanting to feel better. By listening to more positive sounding music and doing so because you want to improve your mood, you can actually find yourself feeling better, especially when doing so over a long period of time (the study found significant mood increases in two weeks, for example).

Of course, not all songs are created equal. Your tastes and what you consider to be good, positive mood music can be significantly different from someone else. Maybe your go-to happy songs are of the Disney variety, ones that induce nostalgia, ones that quite literally are celebrating happiness, or even ones that transcend language. Maybe you just like songs that have a good beat or are by artists you admire, or you can always refer to the many, many, curated playlists on the music platform of your choice.

We hope you try out or at least consider listening to more happy music, especially during times like these when the weather can feel extra dreary and the winter months can seem like they’re dragging. 

What do you consider to be songs that put you in a good mood? Do you feel different depending on the types of music that you listen to?

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Why Do We Use Retail Therapy as a Coping Mechanism?

August 26, 2021 in Social Media Guide

You’ve probably seen memes, tiktoks, and other kinds of posts on social media about how the best part of the day is when a package with something you ordered has finally arrived. There’s something incredibly satisfying about placing an order and tracking every single step of the delivery process before it arrives at your front door. Recently, these memes are often associated with something about mental health, whether it be placing an order “just to feel something,” or using that wait for your package to arrive as a reason to look forward to the future.

The concept of using shopping as a coping mechanism isn’t new. In the past, retail therapy was often associated with going to the mall or some store and grabbing something frivolous or outside someone’s budget that they buy on impulse. Phones and social media has made retail therapy even easier however, with things available with just a tap on the phone (and even easier, a double click on the side button that has your Apple Pay linked up). When the pandemic started last year, there was a huge spike in people shopping online, with many making their purchases impulsively.

There are several reasons why we turn to shopping – and especially online shopping – when we’re feeling down. One of the biggest reasons is a sense of control: when things like pandemics, mental illness, overwhelming schedules, and negative life and news events are surrounding people constantly, making purchases that they want and that they believe will make them happy is way to restore any lost control. Online shopping is also like a lottery machine; you never know what you’re going to find if you keep scrolling on commerce websites, and your brain is telling you to keep going just in case you find the thing that’s perfect for you to buy. One study has even found that retail therapy can help reduce sadness.

Retail therapy can be helpful and we don’t always need to try and justify purchases that make us happy, but when done excessively, it can quickly become an unhealthy coping mechanism. Companies are also aware that people turn to retail therapy, and can take others’ poor mental health as an opportunity to constantly push their products – especially self-care and wellness ones – on vulnerable consumers. Now that many social media platforms include many personalized ads automatically integrated on their feeds (think of how Instagram has been criticized lately for wanting to be more of a shop than a photo platform), the temptation to shop can be even harder to fight off. 

So if you want to reduce the number of times you online shop, but spend a lot of time on social media (especially when you’re depressed or anxious), and are constantly coming across personalized ads for things that are perfect for you to buy, what can you do? Again, it’s not that big of a deal to treat yourself every now and then, but it’s also up to you to determine just how long “every now and then” is. You can also see if you can explore alternatives to these items; for example, you can try making things yourself or see if someone is selling something similar secondhand. If you like having stricter rules in place, give yourself a small budget to spend each month for those times that you want to buy something that seems silly and useless online. Adblocks and turning off personalized ads can also go a long way too.

Do you do most of your shopping online? Do you find yourself buying things you don’t need? When do you find yourself doing them? Do you think you shop online as a coping mechanism?

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Is Being a Morning Person Better for You Mentally?

August 25, 2021 in Educate Yourself

You’ve likely heard that being a “morning person” can benefit one’s mental health significantly. You’ve probably seen a bunch of stories about how waking up with the and even before the sun helps people feel more accomplished, gets more done in the day, and feels healthier both mentally and physically. 

You may have tried becoming a morning person yourself, trying to squeeze in a workout, a full balanced breakfast, a time to journal, and meditation. You also probably have to wake up early to go to school, and maybe even earlier if you’re in a club or sport that requires you to be there before classes begin.

However, similar to the now debunked idea that less sleep = more time to be successfully productive, you actually don’t need to be a morning person to be productive and feel like you have everything together. What it really comes down to is understanding what’s best for your body and when your mind feels that it functions best. There are some people who do benefit from waking up early; for them, being a morning person means having control over what they want before their day officially begins and gives them a sense of accomplishment of having items on their to-do list already checked. Meanwhile, others may be at their peak in the middle of the day, or even in the middle of the night.

Unfortunately, because of the 9-5 work life and 7-2 school day, our culture favors those who wake up and function early, especially because those who function at other times are likely too exhausted because their body’s naturally preferred sleep cycle is so disrupted. But if you look around your coworkers and peers, most of them are likely too groggy, cranky, or about to go right back to sleep first thing in the morning.

So no, you don’t have to become a morning person if you want to have a well-rounded, productive, and healthy lifestyle. Although we still life in a 9-5 and 7-2 culture, those who benefit from being productive later in the day can still do so, but they just might have to do a little more work adapting and making sure that they can still get what they want done while still getting enough sleep.

Which brings us to our advice: whether you’re an early bird or night owl, try to do your best to establish a routine for when you want to be and feel your most productive. As long as you’re able to get 7-8 hours of sleep a night (and ideally waking up whenever you want to), you should be in good shape.  If you’re in college and are more productive later, try to schedule your classes for later in the day. The pandemic has made it easier for people to work remote, so those who can and live on the east coast, remote west coast jobs will allow you to have a schedule that starts later in the day too.

For more advice, click here!

Are you a morning person? Have you ever wanted to be a morning person, or have you trained yourself to be one? When do you find yourself to be the most productive?

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by Moderator ★

Queer Adolescents of Color

August 24, 2021 in Educate Yourself, LINKS

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QPOC, an acronym standing for “queer people of color,” are minorities in several ways. Not only are they racial minorities, but they are also members of the LGBTQ+ community. This intersectionality – the ways that things like discrimination and disadvantages overlap if you belong to more than one marginalized group – can be difficult, especially during adolescence.

Not only are these adolescents figuring out where they belong in their community and how much they want to show of their race and culture (think of code-switching, for example), but they are also trying to figure out their sexuality. The way they view sexuality and queerness can also be affected by their culture’s views on the topic, which may make it harder for them to come to terms with. One recent example of this is the controversy associated with Kevin Hart and the Oscars: he lost the hosting job because of his homophobic tweets, and while Ellen DeGeneres, a white lesbian, interviewed him about the topic, black queer people responded about how the situation is much different for them.

Because the rates of mental illness in racial minorities, LGBTQ+ people, and adolescents are alarmingly high, it’s almost not surprising to see that that QPOC youth have a high risk of being diagnosed with a mental illness as well. Unfortunately, because of the issues that come with intersectionality, it can be even more difficult to access treatment for reasons such as the potential higher stigma against mental illness and therapy, and the process of deciding who they would feel comfortable coming out to. As a whole, QPOC are also at high risk for items such as substance abuse, trauma, suicidal intention, and poor relationships with adults, as well as the threat of rejection, discrimination, and violence.

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Fortunately, people are beginning to pay more attention to the needs of queer adolescents of color. Articles are discussing ways that clinicians from privileged spaces (i.e. white, cisgender, and straight) can keep their patients’ identities in mind and how to be mindful of a potentially drastic power dynamic, while others are giving attention to minority therapists and giving advice on how to find one. Groups and popular websites are creating spaces where queer youth of color can share their experiences and stories in order to let others know that they are not alone, as well as the forgotten histories of other QPOC. And of course, queer youths of color are making their voices known through social media.

Representation is also key in helping QPOC. Reports come out annually about how much minorities, such as women, POC, and LGBTQ+ people, are shown on TV shows and movies throughout that year. Most of these generally have an optimistic tone, but there doesn’t seem to be much reported about the overlap, such as lesbians of color. This is especially true for shows meant for tweens and teens, like the CW, where queer characters, especially women, are almost always white. Adolescents who identify as QPOC and watch shows that appeal to them are not likely to see themselves on screen, therefore making them feel even more invisible, as they may already have trouble fitting in with what is considered to be “normal” development patterns at adolescence.

If you are a QPOC, know someone who is one, or want to find out more resources, the National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network provides more information, including a directory of therapists who are QPOC, where you can learn more about how intersectionality affects them. 

Are you a QPOC? If you are one, how does your race, sexuality, and/or gender affect you? How do you think intersectionality, or belonging to more than one marginalized group, can affect one’s identity and mental health?

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Practicing Reducing Screen Time

August 19, 2021 in Social Media Guide

Let’s face it: even though we know that spending too much time online can affect us negatively, from affecting our sleep to worsening existing symptoms of depression, cutting down the amount of time we spend on our screens, and especially our phones, is easier said than done. You may need to use your phone for multiple reasons, like scheduled FaceTimes with your best friend who lives across the country, or checking e-mails for school or work. And even though these are done for fun, there’s nothing wrong with relaxing with catching up on Instagram stories and spending a bit of time on TikTok.

However, there is such a thing as too much screen time. It can look different for everyone, and what is considered too much screen time can depend on what you think is affecting you the most negatively. For example, maybe you want to spend less time on Instagram because you keep seeing people posting their accomplishments that make you feel bad for yourself, or maybe you want to spend less time on Twitter because you think you’re posting too much about yourself and your day.

Whatever it is, it can be difficult taking those first few steps to cut down on something that’s such a deeply ingrained habit in your daily life. Going cold turkey can be nearly impossible, and you may be afraid of experiencing FOMO if you aren’t constantly on your most-used apps. To help you reduce your social media use, we’ve provided a few steps to begin:

First, think about which apps you use the most often or which ones you really feel like you can’t do without. You can check the specific stats on your Screen Time or Digital Wellbeing feature on your iPhone or Android, but you can also determine them using your own threshold. Your Twitter use may be the 5th most used app on your device, but if you feel like you need to constantly check it and personally feel like you use it the most, then you may want to prioritize that.

Second, if you haven’t done so already, disable notifications for that app. Most of your apps don’t need an immediate response right away, and if it takes you a few hours to get back to a DM, that’s totally fine.

Third, try setting your own reminders of when to check the app. If you feel like you need stricter rules, set a certain amount of time that you can scroll on the app. You can do both of these by setting alarms on your phone: for example, you can give yourself an alarm to check Instagram every two hours, and then set an alarm to stop looking 10 minutes after that. So set an alarm for 10AM and 10:10AM, 12PM and 12:10PM, and so on.

Here is when you might want to start setting up screen time limits. If you feel like none of the tips above have helped, you can start giving yourself harsher limits from your phone. That being said, you shouldn’t feel like you have to give yourself extreme limits: see how much time your phone is telling you that you spend on each app that day and start off by taking off 25% of it (AKA dividing that time by 4). So, if your phone is telling you that you usually spend about 2 hours a day on TikTok, try setting a limit of 1.5 hours per day. After a week, take off another ten minutes, then another ten minutes the next week, and so on.

Finally, always give yourself grace. There’s probably a reason why you’re always using that app and have trouble using it less, and part of that reason may be because it does make you happy and you enjoy using it! Phones and social media are a part of our daily lives, whether we like it or not, so if you’re not meeting your expectations and breaking your screen time rules, it’s not a big deal. Just try again and practice a little harder the next day.

What are your most used apps? Which apps do you want to use less? Why? What have you tried to reduce your screen time, and did they help?

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by Moderator ★

Navigating Things Out of Your Control

August 16, 2021 in Be Positive

Quite simply: it can be difficult processing a lot of the major news stories right now. In a world where news notifications flash on our phones a few times an hour and social media feeds and “for you” pages are either giving more details about said news or showing a constant stream of pessimistic memes, negative news is hard to avoid.

Throw all of this on top of life changes, transitions, and navigating one’s personal problems and issues day-by-day, it can be incredibly draining, and even triggering and debilitating to simply function, especially with mental illness.

“Focusing on what you can control” is advice easier said than done, and is often frequently given when people express feeling overwhelmed. In fact, it’s advice we’ve offered before too! And while this advice has shown to be useful, it can be hard to just consider organizing the chaos of news and personal issues that’s running through your head.

When everything seems to be going wrong – whether it’s to the world, happening in another country, to your friends, or just to you personally, our best advice is to zero in on much as possible to things that are mostly in control. For example, no one else likely uses your cell phone but you (and the same applies to devices like your laptop or tablet). You may report to a boss or have to follow teachers’ instructions, but if you feel that you can trust them or have a good relationship with them, you have some control (more than you may think!) to open up if you’re going through a difficult time.

Here are a couple of tips to get you started, even though you do not have to follow or limit yourself to these if they don’t fit your routine or personal approach to coping. We hope they can start off as a base however, and you can adjust them as you see fit.

  • Turn off ALL news notifications
  • Delete social media apps that are causing you stress off your phone temporarily – you can always log back in when you’re ready
  • Use your support system – like group chats, DMs, or just anyone you enjoy texting with – as you see fit. You can vent about what’s upsetting you, or even just start and lead a conversation about anything else about whatever you like.
  • Set up boundaries with those you have a good relationship with. Don’t be afraid to ask them to not talk about certain topics if they get brought up (and remember they have every right to set boundaries too)
  • Remember that outside your day-to-day life and personal activities, you literally can do almost nothing and you shouldn’t feel guilty or pressured to do anything about it. However, you may find that researching and donating for issues (if you are able) can give you a sense of control. 

How do you cope with negativity? Do you feel that bad news – whether it’s to you, someone else, or just in general – affects you severely? What do you do to help gain control?

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by Moderator ★

How to Help Someone Through Social Media

August 12, 2021 in Social Media Guide

With more and more people opening up about their mental health online, you may find yourself thinking about a few things. You may feel proud of them for opening up about their struggles on a large platform, or you might feel comforted and feel less alone that someone you know also has struggles with their mental health. You might think about how social media is helping reduce the stigma about mental illness by giving many the opportunity to write about what they’re going through too.

And depending on what they’re opening up about, you may feel concerned for them. You might recognize and relate to the stuff that that person is writing, and know how terrible those feelings can be. You may also feel like they’re using wording that is alarming to you. But it’s already easy to overanalyze our every interaction and potential interaction when using social media already, so how do you reach out to someone to check in on them if you’re worried about them?

Unfortunately, most people are less likely to engage with negative posts, and are less likely to reach out because of the bystander effect (where they think that someone else is going to talk to that person, so they don’t need to). However, one of the best ways to approach these kinds of situations is to think about what you want people to do if you ever expressed that you’re struggling with your mental health. What do you want them to say? How would you want them to say it? What don’t you want them to say?

It may also feel awkward publicly commenting on someone’s post, especially if you aren’t close with them. Reaching out privately can go a long way – you don’t have to have a full conversation, but even just sending a DM expressing support and telling them that you hope things get better for them soon can have a powerful impact. If you’re comfortable, you can also tell them that you relate to what they’re going through so they feel less alone.

In more severe cases, it’s best to find someone close to that person and reach out to them to let them know that you’re concerned. Most social media sites also allow you to flag that post and report it stating that you think that person might be in harm.

Have you ever reached out to someone online after seeing something they posted that worried you? Were you close to that person? Would you reach out to someone on social media if they talked about their mental health?

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