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Using Upbeat Songs to Feel Better

January 31, 2022 in Be Positive

It can be easy to put on music that matches your mood when you’re not feeling your best. The best way to describe it is by thinking of the phrase “misery loves company,” or that having something (or someone) that feels just as bad as you are makes you feel slightly less alone. Every now and then, we just want songs to wallow in that we can relate to, whether it be about heartbreak, loneliness, sadness, or a combination of all three, or anything else on top of that. 

And although this is a completely valid way of coping, studies have found that listening to more upbeat, happier music can have a literal positive effect on your mood, especially when you’re listening to it with the intent of wanting to feel better. By listening to more positive sounding music and doing so because you want to improve your mood, you can actually find yourself feeling better, especially when doing so over a long period of time (the study found significant mood increases in two weeks, for example).

Of course, not all songs are created equal. Your tastes and what you consider to be good, positive mood music can be significantly different from someone else. Maybe your go-to happy songs are of the Disney variety, ones that induce nostalgia, ones that quite literally are celebrating happiness, or even ones that transcend language. Maybe you just like songs that have a good beat or are by artists you admire, or you can always refer to the many, many, curated playlists on the music platform of your choice.

We hope you try out or at least consider listening to more happy music, especially during times like these when the weather can feel extra dreary and the winter months can seem like they’re dragging. 

What do you consider to be songs that put you in a good mood? Do you feel different depending on the types of music that you listen to?

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Finding a Therapist as a South Asian-American

January 28, 2022 in LINKS

For a number of reasons, young people today are incredibly privileged to have access to empathetic and thoughtful therapists. However, for children of South Asian immigrants, it can be awkward at times to bridge the culture gap with a therapist from a different background. Many scenarios South Asian youths want to discuss in therapy are deeply tied to their cultural identity. Therapists can help navigate these experiences, but South Asians often find themselves giving a lot of context and education.

It can be tricky expressing our different cultural norms to someone from a different background. It can be even more difficult to explain the complex emotions of differing cultural expectations. To further complicate matters, South Asian and American identities are often in conflict. It’s a frequent struggle to reconcile competing ideals from each identity.

Given the statistics of the racial demographics of therapists, it can be almost impossible to find a therapist with the exact background as you, and some people may not even want that! The mental health field has made considerable strides in emphasizing cultural humility in practice. At the same time, some may feel like talking to someone who is a “familiar face” can go a long way.

Thanks to the power of social media, there are some resources that can help South Asian youths find therapists from a similar background.

While Instagram pages are not a substitute for therapy, they can serve as a nice sense of community

In what ways can therapists be more sensitive to and knowledgeable about the cultural backgrounds of their clients? How has your cultural background influenced your experiences in therapy? Comment below!

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Unfiltered

January 27, 2022 in Social Media Guide

You’ve likely heard the phrase over and over again: don’t believe everything you see on social media. This could apply to pretty much everything online, from the content that people choose to post, how they choose to post it, what they include and leave out, and who they choose to share it with.

One of the most common ways that people “hide” things on social media is through beauty filters. You’ve most likely used filters before – and there’s nothing wrong with them most of the time! Filters are, at a simple level, some sort of editing feature that alters whatever image or video that you’re trying to capture on your device. Think of them as pre-made Photoshop features that someone has already developed for you. The now “classic” filters include the vomiting rainbow and puppy filters that originated on Snapchat years ago. You may have used a filter that has put your (or others’) faces on a dinosaur, or caused snowflakes to fall around you for a wintertime Instagram story. Vintage filters have been popular recently that let you look like you recorded your videos on a 90s style camcorder, or alter your photo so it looks like it was taken on a polaroid. 

And while filters may seem harmless, there’s been a growing concern for how many beauty filters are out now. Instead of silly, bright, and outlandish features like a dancing hotdog that you likely won’t see in real life, beauty filters alter one’s appearance, most of the time marginally, so it looks like an “updated” version of what they look like. Snapchat, Instagram, and TikTok all include filters that give people the option to have freckles, different color eyes and hair, or putting on makeup that they don’t physically have on. Zoom even has options to “enhance” your appearance and how others see you on screen.

While this is already concerning in how people, especially young girls, see themselves and how they think they should look (you can read more about that here and here), many are starting to criticize how these filters promote certain beauty standards over others. Most beauty filters slim down the face and features like noses, for example, and many lighten skin tones and whitewash those who have darker skin tones.

Overall, most people find beauty filters concerning, but experts still say there’s a link between those who seek professional plastic surgery and those who want to look better in selfies and like the filters they use. It’s not uncommon at all to feel negatively affected when you see other’s posts and if they look really good, and feel really bad about your own selfies and pictures of yourself, but it’s also important to remember that 99% of the time, there is some sort of editing done on that photo. And while that’s almost easier said than done to remember and even feel better about, it’s also a reminder that no matter who anyone is or what they naturally look like, we all feel pressured to look a certain way. It’s okay to use filters, but at the end of the day, we have to remember that not only do we not look like that, that kind of look is achievable on almost no one.

Do you use beauty filters? Do you enjoy using filters in general? How do you think the use of filters has affected you and your use of social media?

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New Year, Same Toxic Diet Culture

January 25, 2022 in Educate Yourself

The New Year is upon us, which means that many people have started working towards achieving their new goals for 2022. New Year’s resolutions are so often focused on “wellness,” with constant messaging about weight loss programs, exercise regimens, and fad diets taking over social media. It’s easy to get wrapped up in unhealthy diet culture. With all the diet talk during this time of the year, many people struggle with body image. If you find yourself struggling with your body image a bit more than usual lately, know that you are not alone. Here are some tips that can help you navigate negative body image and survive the onslaught of diet culture that comes with the start of every new year.

  1. Curate your social media feeds. Rather than starting a detox diet, try detoxing your social media feeds. This means unfollowing accounts that promote restrictive eating, highlight weight loss, post dieting “tips,” and more. It can also mean unfollowing friends and family who insist on posting about their New Year’s weight loss. You might also find it helpful to follow accounts that promote body acceptance and body inclusivity.
  2. Make alternative New Year’s goals that are about growth, not shrinking. Think about your values and what you want to accomplish in 2022. Maybe you want to spend more time with family or spend time learning a new hobby. Maybe you want to go back to therapy or join a book club. The best way to reject diet culture is to reject the pressure to make goals that have to do with your body’s size, shape, and appearance.
  3. Redirect conversations that make you uncomfortable. When your aunt starts talking about the new diet she joined, it’s okay to tell her that you’d rather talk about something else. When your friend starts talking about intermittent fasting and how “great” it makes them feel (while some people find it helpful, research has shown that our bodies require consistent nutrition to function properly), you are allowed to tell them that you would prefer to not talk about dieting.
  4. Rely on your coping skills! Spend time doing things that help you feel better, whether it’s journaling, creating art, going on a walk, or listening to music. Lean into your support system and seek out additional support from a therapist if you are struggling.

Do you find yourself struggling with body image during this time of the year? How do you cope with negative body image? Let us know down below!

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“Guilty Pleasures”

January 24, 2022 in Be Positive

Sometimes we watch, read, or listen to things that we might be embarrassed to admit. These are often known as “guilty pleasures,” or the things we’re ashamed of admitting that we like. It may be because these are considered to be tacky, basic, or are things that are often made fun of by the general public. So when we do admit that we enjoy these things, we quickly want to defend ourselves – hence calling them as “guilty pleasures” when talking about them out loud.

This shame and fear of being judged is incredibly common, especially during adolescence, and especially for those who have a mental illness. The need to be liked and accepted by others are incredibly human traits, and most of us will adapt ourselves in some way so that those around us see us in a positive way.

Mental illnesses like depression and anxiety, however, can make those who show symptoms more sensitive to how people perceive them. For example, it’s the tendency to overanalyze other’s actions and think that these actions are all in response to what you’re doing, and if there’s any sign that they’re annoyed, displeased, or showing any other negative emotion, your brain tells you it’s because of you.

So when there is something that we can control, like choosing to talk about what kinds of media we consume for example, we either keep it to ourselves, or when it does slip up, quickly defend ourselves by saying that it’s a “guilty pleasure.” It’s a way to protect one’s self from being judged since you’re showing self-awareness that you know it’s not that great. However, even if you don’t admit to consuming that media out loud, that fear of being judged can still consume you and make you feel bad about yourself. This can affect you even wanting to consume that content in the first place, even if it makes you happy.

This process of detaching what you enjoy from others’ opinion of you can be difficult.  What you enjoy is up to you, however. Sure, books, TV shows, and music are ways to create bonds with others, and those may be the way that you start conversations and build friendships with people, but what you consume should ultimately be for you.

These are things that make you happy, and the fear of what others think of it should not dictate how and if you should consume it.

Do you have things that you consider to be “guilty pleasures?” Are there shows, books, music, or movies that you’re afraid to talk about enjoying? Have you ever pretended to like something because someone you admire liked that thing?

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An App to Consider: Liberate

January 21, 2022 in LINKS

Mental health affects everyone differently, but our backgrounds and identities can have us bond over similar experiences and feelings based on our cultures and how others perceive and interact with us.

Take race for example. Although non-white people cannot be categorized into an entire category, people of color’s experience with racism and the stigma within their own communities have been shown to have a negative impact on their mental health. Most resources for mental health treatment are designed with white people in mind, and most therapists (86%!) are white who may not understand the nuances and ways that race affects one’s mental health and symptoms of mental illness.

Liberate

We covered meditation podcasts last week, but this week we wanted to highlight a meditation app created by and specifically geared towards BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and people of color). Liberate includes over 200 meditation practices for users to explore, but unlike standard meditation practices, these are led and narrated by people of color, so they feel a little more familiar to those listening to them. They also offer resources that talk about experiences that affect people of color, including internalized racism and microaggressions. Sessions can last between five to 25 minutes, and users can leave feedback after each one about how it helped them for other users to view.

The app is free, but the full version requires a paid subscription. You can explore the free version and even try the 7-day free trial for Liberate Plus if you want to try out the app.

Liberate is available on both iPhones and Androids.

If you’re a person of color, have you ever tried out treatments specifically for your race? How do you think your identity affects your mental health?

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Finding Coping Skills that Work

January 19, 2022 in Educate Yourself

Coping skills are an important way to manage mood, stress, and difficult emotions. People always talk about how useful coping skills are, but often fail to mention that it can be difficult to find coping skills that actually work for each individual person. Everyone has unique needs; something that helps one person feel better may not work as well for someone else. Sometimes even when we do have strategies that work well for us, particularly difficult or stressful situations can arise that render our go-to skills useless.

One way to ensure that you have an arsenal of coping skills in your back pocket at all times is to make a list. Brainstorming coping skills ahead of time – before you find yourself in crisis – can help you down the road when you are feeling too overwhelmed to even begin thinking about how to help yourself feel better. A great way to do this is to make a list of coping skills that have worked for you before and some new ones you feel open to trying.

You can organize your list however you feel it would help you most in the future. One idea is to categorize coping skills by levels of distress. For example, you might choose to use a stoplight color scheme, where red coping skills are ones you use when you are the most distressed, while green coping skills may be for times that you are feeling stressed out but are not yet in crisis mode. Yellow coping skills would fall somewhere in between.

You can personalize your coping skills as much or as little as you would like. Some people prefer to just write “call a friend” on their list, while others might want to list out names of specific friends to reach out to. You can include details about specific breathing exercises you prefer, books you like to read, recipes you like to cook, or favorite TV shows and movies that help you unwind.

Once you have a list of coping skills, make sure that it is accessible to you in times of need. You can create a list in a note on your phone, write skills on Popsicle sticks to keep in a jar on your desk, or even make a collage representing your coping skills to hang on your wall.

The key to coping skills is finding coping skills that work for YOU!

What are your favorite coping skills? Are there any new ones you’ve been wanting to try? Share down below!

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Catching Up on Sleep

January 14, 2022 in LINKS

Truthfully, the chances that your sleep schedule aren’t the best are quite high. Adolescents in high school and college, despite needing a sufficient amount of sleep, do not get the recommended 8ish hours of uninterrupted sleep per night. There are tons of reasons for this: technology, caffeine, and just being too busy are just a few factors, to name a few.

Another big one is mental illness. Depression and anxiety can lead to using technology and endlessly scrolling on phones as a coping mechanisms, and mental illness symptoms can be triggered by the stress that comes with school and having too many things to do. Overall, it’s understandable why sleep hygiene is so poor in youths today.

We’ve shared a lot of the common tips to help manage sleep before, including making sure you don’t use a screen at least half an hour before bed and keeping your phone away from you, so you have to get up out of bed to turn off the alarms that you’ve set. We also wanted to share a couple of resources that have compiled some of these tips together into a checklist, so if you’re someone who likes to have a reference and likes to plan things out, these might work for you. 

Sleep Check!
Sleep Hygiene Checklist
Sleep Hygiene for Teens
Sleep Strategies and Checklists

While these might be designed for out of your age range, feel free to play around with them and adapt them into something that works for you! You can download them on your phone, print them out and keep it next to your bed, or copy and paste the tips that apply to you most and create your own checklist.

What is your sleep schedule like? Have you ever made an effort to try and change it? How often do you wake up each night? Are there any specific things that you know have affected your sleep?

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“I don’t like this”

January 13, 2022 in Social Media Guide

Between explore pages, recommended posts, ads, and For You feeds, it can feel like you don’t have as much control over the content you want to see on social media. Over the past couple of years, social media platforms have started to rely more heavily on algorithms, which are processes that use things they know about you (like your following list, items you’ve liked or commented on, etc) to try and guess what else you’d like to see.

However, algorithms aren’t human and don’t actually know you. As a result, they’re probably going to recommend things you definitely don’t want to see. This can include the mundane, like a recommended Instagram account for an influencer you just don’t want to see, to the triggering, like a TikTok going into detail about the negative effects of COVID on society. 

You should be in control of what you want to see, though. Most platforms give you the option (though they sometimes may make you do a little more work) to hide or adjust these recommended posts. For example, many platforms have a “…” in the upper right hand corner with a list of options about how you feel about the recommended post. For platforms like Instagram, you can even hide suggested posts on your feed for up to a month at a time. For accounts that show up on your account that have you questioning why the algorithm thinks you want to see them, you can block the account entirely.

Even if it’s your feed, you may feel guilt. Even if you don’t know the person who’s randomly on your feed, you might feel bad that, in a way, you’re disliking their content. You may also feel guilt for showing that you’re not interested in content about world events, because it may seem like you don’t care about important issues. At the end of the day, your feed is for you, and it’s not always about the subject of the content, but how it’s presented. For example, algorithms may think that you like health because you follow workout and cooking accounts from a variety of people of all sorts of body types and backgrounds, but because the algorithm thinks you’re interested in health, will end up recommending food-shaming and diet accounts that can be incredibly triggering. You may actually be interested in health and wellness, but the shaming posts are not the kind of content that you want to see.

While it’s impossible to completely get rid of recommended posts and poorly-suggested TikToks, you still have some power over your feed. Your “for you” is quite literally, for you, and you should have the ability to manipulate and control it so you see what you actually want to see.

What kind of content do you like and follow on social media? Have you ever used the block or “not interested” buttons? When do you use them?

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The “Magic Wand” Question

January 4, 2022 in Educate Yourself

Sometimes, when we try to make goals for ourselves, it can be challenging to envision our world without our problems. The Magic Wand Question (also known as The Miracle Question) has its basis in Solution-Focused Therapy (SFT) and is now often used as a goal-setting technique.

There are different versions of the Magic Wand Question, but it essentially asks:

“Suppose tonight, while you slept, all your problems were solved. When you awake tomorrow, what would be some of the things you would notice that would tell you life had suddenly gotten better?”

Some follow-up questions can include:

  • How will you know that all your problems were solved?
    • Think about what you would see, feel, think, or do
  • What will others notice that makes them aware things are different or better?

No matter how silly it may sound, thinking about how your life would be different if a “magic wand” solved all your problems gives us a clearer picture of what our future goals may be. Sometimes when sad, it feels like things will never get better or solutions are impossible. The Magic Wand question allows us to explore a new future we may not have imagined before. 

Have you ever tried the “Magic Wand” Question? How might you use it in your daily life?

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