SOVA Blog

by Moderator ★

Getting Better Sleep Without FOMO

February 24, 2022 in Social Media Guide

Quite often, the first piece of advice we receive when trying to change our sleeping habits and to get a better night’s sleep is to put our phone (and all other types of screens and technology) away. Experts recommend that adolescents get at least 8-10 hours of sleep a night, and, to ensure staying asleep, to avoid screen time at least 30 minutes to 1 hour before you plan to call it a night.

There are plenty of reasons to explain why you should avoid your phone, computer, tablets, and TVs before bed: the bright light keeps you alert and makes you less tired (but more tired in the morning), REM sleep (where memories are processed with ties to problem-solving skills) is decreased, and of course, using screens delays sleep as a whole because you’re engaging with content in some way.

But like all habits, distancing yourself from your phone before bed is easier said than done. For a generation of youths that communicate online as much as, if not more, communicating face-to-face, putting phones away, along with the conversations, social media platforms, and friends that come with it, can be nerve wracking. 

We’ve talked about FOMO and social media breaks before. Because technology and social media is so crucial to how many youths communicate today, it’s easy to feel like anything could happen and that you can miss something important without your phone for just a few seconds, an hour before sleeping, and even longer than that. Not having your phone charging next to you means that you might miss a conversation in a group chat, an email, or even a notification about something you don’t care about at all. The excitement of social media, regardless of what the content is, and just the fact that there is always content to see, makes us want to stay on and makes us afraid that we’ll miss something important, even if we most likely won’t.

If you’re trying to get a better night’s sleep but are having a hard time parting from your phone to do so, just know that all that content will also be there in the morning. Most of the time, there isn’t anything groundbreaking that requires us to stay up expecting an alert at 1AM. Putting your phone away right before bed can also be the first step to take if you want to distance yourself from how much you use and rely on social media as a whole.

If anything, keeping your phone away may make it easier to get out of bed! If you use your phone for your alarm and have it far away from you, you have to get out of it to turn it off, instead of pressing snooze a bunch of times and/or staying in bed scrolling aimlessly on your phone, just like you did the night before, giving you a less groggy and grumpy start to the day.

Do you have trouble sleeping at night? Where do you keep your phone when you’re getting ready for bed? Have you ever considered keeping your phone away before bed? If you have, or do keep it away, has it made any difference in your sleep?

Tags: , , , , 1 Comment »

by Moderator ★

Practicing Mindfulness

February 23, 2022 in Educate Yourself

Mindfulness is a state of nonjudgmental awareness of one’s thoughts and feelings. It is about being present in the moment and observing your thoughts without getting wrapped up in self-judgement or worries about the past or future. Mindfulness can be used as a means to reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety. What are some ways that you can incorporate mindfulness into your everyday life?

One way to practice mindfulness is to take a mindfulness walk. As you walk, pay attention to yourself – how your body feels and what thoughts are entering your mind. Be aware of your surroundings – use your five senses to pick up on things that you hear, see, smell, feel, and taste. Observe yourself and your surroundings without judgment. For example, you can observe that you are feeling anxious without ascribing negativity to it or judging yourself for feeling that way. Or you may simply observe and fully attend to each of your steps as you walk.

Another fan favorite is mindfulness meditation. This involves sitting comfortably and still. Pay attention to your breathing and observe the feeling of the air coming in and out of your airway. If thoughts enter your mind, take a moment to acknowledge them, and then re-center your attention back to your breathing. Mindfulness meditation is a great way to relax when feeling anxious.

Another great way to practice mindfulness is with body scan meditation. Start by laying on your back in a relaxed position with your arms by your side. Focus on each part of your body starting from your head and moving down to your toes. What sensations do you notice with different parts of your body? What thoughts and emotions come to mind as you work through this exercise?

Another useful mindfulness exercise is the 54321 grounding technique. This exercise can be particularly helpful in moments of distress, as it helps you bring your mind back to the present moment. Start by naming five things that you see – for example, your bed, a tree, a pet, a soft blanket, a poster on the wall. Next, name four things that you feel — the feeling of a soft sweater on your body, warm slippers on your feet, jewelry, a pet. Then name three things that you hear – birds chirping, wind blowing, the TV. Next, name two things you can smell – fresh air, a candle. Finally, name one thing you can taste – the snack you just ate, for example.

These are just a few of the ways you can incorporate mindfulness into your everyday life. The key is to practice both awareness and acceptance!

Have you ever used mindfulness? What are your favorite ways to practice mindfulness? How can you incorporate mindfulness into your daily life?

Tags: , , , , 2 Comments »

by Moderator ★

Challenging All or Nothing Thinking

February 22, 2022 in Educate Yourself

All-or-nothing thinking is just like what it sounds: when we view things as black or white with no gray in between. All-or-nothing thinking is a cognitive distortion or negative thought pattern that influences how we feel.

Holding ourselves to such high standards can impact our mental health. These high standards reflect a level of perfection no one can truly obtain as humans. The pressure to be perfect can be overwhelming, and it isn’t fair to us. Our lives are complex and carry many different shades, so when we tell ourselves we must be perfect or else, it can lead to us blaming ourselves and experiencing self-hatred.

How do I spot and stop all-or-nothing thinking?

It can be hard to tell we are engaging in all-or-nothing thinking in the moment. Some ways we can identify it are when we use words like “never” “always” or “ever”. For example, saying “I never do anything right” or “I always fail” show all-or-nothing because they are extreme statements that don’t account for alternatives. It’s not possible to “never” do anything right, just like it’s not possible to be perfect.

There are a few ways we can challenge these all-or-nothing thoughts.

Practice self-compassion.

Practice self-compassion by incorporating self-esteem-boosting statements into your daily routine. Instead of being harsh with ourselves, we can talk to ourselves like we’d talk to our friends. One way you can incorporate this visually is by using coping cards

Thinking in Shades of Gray

Instead of viewing something as black or white, think about it as a range or in shades of gray. When things don’t work out, try to rate it as a partial success instead of a complete failure. This approach lets us take a more balanced perspective. For example: when it’s a rough day, think about what you did well despite how hard the day was. Think about times you were proud of yourself and celebrate your “small wins.”

Do you find yourself falling into the trap of all-or-nothing thinking? What are some other ways you can challenge all-or-nothing thinking? Let us know your thoughts!

Tags: , , 1 Comment »

by Moderator ★

Self-Compassion

February 18, 2022 in LINKS

Dr. Kristin Neff, Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at University of Texas at Austin, has spent much of her career researching self-compassion. What is self-compassion? How is self-compassion helpful? How can we get better at having compassion for ourselves? Read on to find out!

Neff writes, “Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings.” She emphasizes the humanness of mistakes, losses, and disappointment; we all share these common experiences and feelings. Having the same compassion for ourselves that we would have for a friend is a key step towards self-acceptance.

Kristin Neff has a lot of guided practices and self-compassion exercises available on her website. Here are some journaling ideas if you are hoping to get started on your self-compassion journey:

  1. How do you respond to a friend who is struggling or who has made a mistake? How do you respond to yourself when you are struggling or have made a mistake? Oftentimes we are far more critical of ourselves than we would be if a friend were in the same situation. How can you apply the compassion you would have for a friend to yourself?
  2. Reframe your self-critical thoughts as kinder and gentler thoughts. Maybe you got a bad grade on a school project, and your inner critic is telling you “you are stupid and worthless.” Take a moment to stop and notice this thought, understand where it is coming from, and talk back to it. You might say to your inner critic “I care about my grades, but ruminating about one project is not making me feel good. I choose to have compassion for myself and acknowledge that failure is an inevitable part of life and I will fail at times. I will try to do better on the next project, but for now, I am choosing self-compassion.”
  3. Keep a self-compassion journal. Each night, write down things that made you feel bad throughout the day. Maybe you were upset with a friend and said something mean that you regret. Maybe you didn’t perform as well in a sports game as you would have liked. Maybe you judged yourself for eating a bag of chips after a long day at school. How can you respond to these situations with more self-compassion? How can you comfort yourself in response to these negative feelings?

For more tips on self-compassion, we recommend checking out Kristen Neff’s book, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, or visiting her website at https://self-compassion.org/.

What is something that you have judged yourself for recently? How can you respond with greater self-compassion? Comment down below!

Tags: , , 3 Comments »

by Moderator ★

Deciding What Social Media Platforms May be Negatively Impacting You

February 17, 2022 in Social Media Guide

How many social media accounts do you have? A Pew research study from 2021 found that about 75% of adolescents aged 18-24 use Instagram and Snapchat, and an additional 50% also use TikTok, creating considerable overlap between the multiple social media sites that adolescents may be using. 

Not all social media platforms are created equal, though. Some serve different purposes. For example, some people may be more likely to use Snapchat to communicate with friends and Instagram to share creative photography. Despite these different purposes, however, there is considerable overlap now that these platforms share a lot of the same features and have the same users on them.

With that being said, the aesthetics of the site, the people you follow, and how those people share and post content can affect you differently depending which site you’re on. For some, these different feelings might be obvious, but it may be the case that you’re unable to tell because of the sheer amount of accounts that you may be cycling through. After a while, using these different sites may cause them to blur together, which may also contribute to that overwhelming, stressful feeling you might get by spending a lot of time on social media.

So if you are feeling overwhelmed by social media, or even if you feel like something is off and you’re mentally not feeling your best, it might help to apply some organization tips towards your phone, tablet, or computer. By spending a few minutes on the social media platforms you’re actively using, you can attempt to separate them and spend some time asking yourself questions about how each make you feel. You can write down these feelings about each platform and then take a few minutes to see which are causing stronger negative emotions. You can ask yourself questions such as, “Why is this platform making me feel like this?” “Is this platform worth keeping?” “How can I improve my experience on this platform?”

Hopefully, by taking a step back and evaluating exactly which platforms are affecting you and why these platforms are doing so can give you some time to self-reflect and find ways to improve not just your social media experience, but your mood and mental health overall.

What are the social media platforms that you use the most frequently? Do you have more than one? Have you noticed if you feel differently depending on which one you’re on? What steps can you take to better manage your social media usage, especially as it relates to your mental health?

Tags: , , , , 1 Comment »

by Moderator ★

Acknowledging the Good as it Occurs

February 7, 2022 in Be Positive

We’ve talked about expressing and writing down gratitude plenty of times before. No matter how big or how small, being able to name anything positive can have an impact on your mental health and wellbeing. Whether it’s being able to acknowledge the good things at the end of the day or being able to look back and read them if you’re feeling down, remembering that there are always good things that can happen, even when it doesn’t feel like it, and knowing there’s a light when things feel bleak can make the biggest difference.

However, it’s also important to acknowledge these good things as they’re happening. Even if you aren’t aware of it at the time, trying to recognize the good in that moment can help calm you down if you’re stressed or can perk up your mood when things feel bleak.

Recognizing the good could be anything. Are you comfortable where you are right now? Is there a smell around you that makes you happy, like your body wash or a lit candle? Are you watching a show or YouTube channel that you enjoy? It could even be that feeling of finally submitting an assignment and having that relief wash all over you. Practicing mindfulness can help you recognize these things in the present moment.

It’s important to know that moments in life, especially now, are rarely all amazing or all terrible, even though it can feel like it can only be one extreme or the other. It’s cliche, but knowing that there is a silver lining everywhere can be a powerful coping mechanism. Enjoy moments of bliss as they happen, because they can be found almost anywhere.

What are small things that bring you joy? How do you celebrate, or even acknowledge them? Comment below!

Tags: , , 1 Comment »

by Moderator ★

grey background with 5 of the letter "Z" arcing up into the middle from the left corner

Using Social Media At Night

February 3, 2022 in Educate Yourself, Social Media Guide

It may be hard for some to remember the last time that they got a proper, full night’s sleep. Schoolwork, jobs, and extracurricular activities are just a few things that can contribute to an adolescent’s hectic and busy schedule. Simply put, there aren’t enough hours in the day for people to do everything that they want, and they often sacrifice the time they should be using sleeping to get everything else done.

Reports have shown that adolescents today are not getting enough sleep as they should be getting, which should be at least eight hours. It’s well known by now that there are many health risks associated with poor sleep, and irregular sleep patterns are also classified as symptoms for mental illnesses such as depression.

A common solution that experts recommend doing to change sleeping behaviors is to at least reduce, if not completely cut out technology as you start to get ready for bed. This often means not using your computer in bed, physically keeping your phone away from you, and not exposing yourself to any screens.

However, it’s not uncommon to wake up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. This is known as “nocturnal awakenings.” Depending on what stage of the sleep cycle that you disrupt when you wake up, it can be simple minutes to long, grueling hours before you fall back asleep. The causes for nocturnal awakenings can vary, but stress is cited as a major factor. 

But what do people do when nocturnal awakenings happen? Realistically, most people, especially adolescents, don’t make an effort to keep their technology away from their bed. 1 in 5 adolescents routinely use their phone after waking up in the middle of the night, specifically to use social media. In the UK, nearly all of the adolescents who said they use their phone when they should be sleeping are on social media. 

One big reason? Adolescents feel that they may have missed out on something if they don’t check their phone. Notifications are also a reason that about 30 percent of adolescents wake up in the middle of the night. And even if it’s not the reason that they wake up, just seeing that they got a notification can keep adolescents up longer. Notifications and social media engagement influence the reward system in our brains, and in adolescents, the pleasure and pain associated with rewards are even stronger. Seeing a notification can make us excited, because we don’t know what it’s going to be about, and going through them all to see which one is “good” makes us respond and use our phones longer.

Unfortunately, it’s easier said than done for people to stop using their phones before they go to bed. But when harmful sleeping patterns among adolescents continue to be a problem, making a cycle out of having trouble sleeping, staying asleep during the night, and taking too-long naps can have potentially long-term effects.

Do you keep your phone near you when you sleep? Do you find yourself waking up in the middle of the night and immediately go to check it? How do you think adolescents can realistically change these habits?

Tags: , , 1 Comment »

by Moderator ★

Using Upbeat Songs to Feel Better

January 31, 2022 in Be Positive

It can be easy to put on music that matches your mood when you’re not feeling your best. The best way to describe it is by thinking of the phrase “misery loves company,” or that having something (or someone) that feels just as bad as you are makes you feel slightly less alone. Every now and then, we just want songs to wallow in that we can relate to, whether it be about heartbreak, loneliness, sadness, or a combination of all three, or anything else on top of that. 

And although this is a completely valid way of coping, studies have found that listening to more upbeat, happier music can have a literal positive effect on your mood, especially when you’re listening to it with the intent of wanting to feel better. By listening to more positive sounding music and doing so because you want to improve your mood, you can actually find yourself feeling better, especially when doing so over a long period of time (the study found significant mood increases in two weeks, for example).

Of course, not all songs are created equal. Your tastes and what you consider to be good, positive mood music can be significantly different from someone else. Maybe your go-to happy songs are of the Disney variety, ones that induce nostalgia, ones that quite literally are celebrating happiness, or even ones that transcend language. Maybe you just like songs that have a good beat or are by artists you admire, or you can always refer to the many, many, curated playlists on the music platform of your choice.

We hope you try out or at least consider listening to more happy music, especially during times like these when the weather can feel extra dreary and the winter months can seem like they’re dragging. 

What do you consider to be songs that put you in a good mood? Do you feel different depending on the types of music that you listen to?

Tags: , , , , 6 Comments »

by Moderator ★

Finding a Therapist as a South Asian-American

January 28, 2022 in LINKS

For a number of reasons, young people today are incredibly privileged to have access to empathetic and thoughtful therapists. However, for children of South Asian immigrants, it can be awkward at times to bridge the culture gap with a therapist from a different background. Many scenarios South Asian youths want to discuss in therapy are deeply tied to their cultural identity. Therapists can help navigate these experiences, but South Asians often find themselves giving a lot of context and education.

It can be tricky expressing our different cultural norms to someone from a different background. It can be even more difficult to explain the complex emotions of differing cultural expectations. To further complicate matters, South Asian and American identities are often in conflict. It’s a frequent struggle to reconcile competing ideals from each identity.

Given the statistics of the racial demographics of therapists, it can be almost impossible to find a therapist with the exact background as you, and some people may not even want that! The mental health field has made considerable strides in emphasizing cultural humility in practice. At the same time, some may feel like talking to someone who is a “familiar face” can go a long way.

Thanks to the power of social media, there are some resources that can help South Asian youths find therapists from a similar background.

While Instagram pages are not a substitute for therapy, they can serve as a nice sense of community

In what ways can therapists be more sensitive to and knowledgeable about the cultural backgrounds of their clients? How has your cultural background influenced your experiences in therapy? Comment below!

Tags: , , , , , 1 Comment »

by Moderator ★

Unfiltered

January 27, 2022 in Social Media Guide

You’ve likely heard the phrase over and over again: don’t believe everything you see on social media. This could apply to pretty much everything online, from the content that people choose to post, how they choose to post it, what they include and leave out, and who they choose to share it with.

One of the most common ways that people “hide” things on social media is through beauty filters. You’ve most likely used filters before – and there’s nothing wrong with them most of the time! Filters are, at a simple level, some sort of editing feature that alters whatever image or video that you’re trying to capture on your device. Think of them as pre-made Photoshop features that someone has already developed for you. The now “classic” filters include the vomiting rainbow and puppy filters that originated on Snapchat years ago. You may have used a filter that has put your (or others’) faces on a dinosaur, or caused snowflakes to fall around you for a wintertime Instagram story. Vintage filters have been popular recently that let you look like you recorded your videos on a 90s style camcorder, or alter your photo so it looks like it was taken on a polaroid. 

And while filters may seem harmless, there’s been a growing concern for how many beauty filters are out now. Instead of silly, bright, and outlandish features like a dancing hotdog that you likely won’t see in real life, beauty filters alter one’s appearance, most of the time marginally, so it looks like an “updated” version of what they look like. Snapchat, Instagram, and TikTok all include filters that give people the option to have freckles, different color eyes and hair, or putting on makeup that they don’t physically have on. Zoom even has options to “enhance” your appearance and how others see you on screen.

While this is already concerning in how people, especially young girls, see themselves and how they think they should look (you can read more about that here and here), many are starting to criticize how these filters promote certain beauty standards over others. Most beauty filters slim down the face and features like noses, for example, and many lighten skin tones and whitewash those who have darker skin tones.

Overall, most people find beauty filters concerning, but experts still say there’s a link between those who seek professional plastic surgery and those who want to look better in selfies and like the filters they use. It’s not uncommon at all to feel negatively affected when you see other’s posts and if they look really good, and feel really bad about your own selfies and pictures of yourself, but it’s also important to remember that 99% of the time, there is some sort of editing done on that photo. And while that’s almost easier said than done to remember and even feel better about, it’s also a reminder that no matter who anyone is or what they naturally look like, we all feel pressured to look a certain way. It’s okay to use filters, but at the end of the day, we have to remember that not only do we not look like that, that kind of look is achievable on almost no one.

Do you use beauty filters? Do you enjoy using filters in general? How do you think the use of filters has affected you and your use of social media?

Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Unfiltered