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A TIPP for Distress Tolerance

March 7, 2022 in Educate Yourself

Do you ever find yourself becoming overwhelmed with strong emotions and not knowing how to cope? TIPP skills are a great Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) tool to help you calm down in difficult moments by directly altering your body’s physiological state.

The T in TIPP stands for temperature. You can put your face in cold water or put ice packs on your face to cool down. Doing this can reduce your heart rate and help you cool down emotionally, too. (Note: Skip this step if you have cardiac risk. If you are unsure, speak to your doctor before trying out this skill!)

The I in TIPP stands for intense exercise. Bursts of intense exercise can help to calm down your body when you are feeling overwhelmed with emotions. Try getting out some of that built-up energy by running, lifting weights, playing a sport, dancing, doing jumping jacks, or taking a brisk walk around the block. You don’t have to do this for long – only about 10-15 minutes. Intense exercise can wear you down and help you regulate your emotions better.

The first P in TIPP stands for paced breathing. Concentrate on taking deep breaths and slowing your breathing down – ideally to about five to six breaths per minute. Try to breathe out more slowly than you breathe in (i.e., breathe in for four seconds and breathe out for six seconds). Doing this will help slow down your heart rate and help you feel calmer in the moment.

The second P in TIPP stands for progressive muscle relaxation. You can do this from a seated position or while laying down. Start at either the top or the bottom of your body and tighten your muscles for about five seconds before letting go. This helps to loosen up your muscles and feel more relaxed. Continue down (or up) your body, tightening and relaxing one group of muscles at a time.

TIPP skills can be a lifesaver in overwhelming moments. It is helpful to practice them at a time when you are feeling okay so that you will feel more comfortable and prepared to use them when you find yourself in distress.

Have you ever used TIPP skills during a hot moment? What other things have you found helpful when trying to calm yourself down?

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Box Breathing

March 4, 2022 in Educate Yourself

Box breathing, also known as square breathing, is a method of slow deep breathing that can help you feel calm and relaxed. Deep breathing has been shown to calm your nervous system and can help relieve stress. Additionally, box breathing involves slowly counting to four, which can help distract your mind from racing thoughts. Box breathing has been shown to increase mood, making it helpful for individuals with anxiety, depression, and other mental health struggles. It can also improve concentration and help you to feel more present in the moment.

Wondering how to get started with box breathing? Follow these easy steps:

  1. Sit up straight and keep your hands relaxed in your lap or by your side.
  2. Inhale slowly for 4 seconds (don’t count too fast!). Notice how your body feels as your lungs fill with air.
  3. Hold your breath for 4 seconds.
  4. Exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds.
  5. Hold again for 4 seconds.
  6. Repeat the cycle 4-5 times, or until you feel that you have calmed down.

This gif can help guide you: 

https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b8645f7266c07b084eb29c7/1570208020992-TRZCAX5P0A53CG0LS5AO/Box+breathing.gif

Box breathing can be a helpful tool for staying mindful in moments of distress. Consider giving it a try.

Do you think box breathing can help you? What other tools do you use to help yourself calm down?

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Understanding Our Values

March 3, 2022 in Educate Yourself

Understanding what values are and what we value can make a big difference in how we set goals. It can be difficult, though, to know what exactly a “value” is. Below is a list of some common values that you can rank from 1 to 10 as most to least important for you. 

Common Values:

Love
Wealth
Family
Morals
Success
Knowledge
Beauty
Power
Friends
Honesty
Humility
Loyalty
Reason
Independence
Stability		Spirituality
Achievement
Success
Fun
Freedom
Peace
Respect
Creativity
Safety
Relaxation
Recognition
Popularity
Openness
Wisdom
Variety

NOTE: This is not a final list, so if you see one on here that doesn’t fit for you, feel free to write in your own! Be sure to make this ranking personal to you as values can differ per person. 

If it is tricky thinking of your own values, imagine what the values of those around you might be. For example, what might your family values be vs. a famous person’s values?

It is 100% okay if your values aren’t the same as someone else’s, there are no right or wrong choices!

What are some values that you identify with? How have your values related to your goals?

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Nightmare Protocol

March 2, 2022 in Educate Yourself

We know that sleep is important for our health and improving our mood. However, nightmares can really disturb our sleep, leaving us feeling anxious, spooked, and tired. 

The Nightmare Protocol is a multi-step process to help deal with nightmares. This DBT technique is really helpful for re-occurring nightmares. The six steps are as follows:

In the morning/during the day…

  • First do something relaxing to get in a calm headspace. This could be some brief mindfulness, listening to upbeat/calming music, or even breathing techniques
  • Think of a less intense nightmare that you would like to work on. It is best to pick a nightmare that you feel like you can work on in that moment 

Ex: you slip on a banana peel during your big solo in the school play

  • Write down your chosen nightmare. Write down the details you can remember, as if you are writing down a story. You can also include notes on how you were feeling during certain parts of the nightmare.
  • Choose a different ending for your nightmare. Now that you have the details down, think of an alternative ending. What would be an ending that would feel good, or even neutral? This is a dream, so you can be as creative as possible (it can be extraordinary, like gaining a superpower!). NOTE: This change should happen BEFORE anything bad happens to anyone or anything in the nightmare. 

Ex: new ending could be as simple as not slipping on the banana peel, or instead of falling from slipping you do an impressive backflip and get a standing ovation

  • Now REWRITE your whole nightmare WITH THE CHANGES

At night and before bed…

  • REHARSE your changed nightmare and practice relaxation. Practice this nightmare with the new ending every night before bed, along with your favorite wind-down techniques. You can practice by reading through the new script or even visualizing the new ending. It is important to make this a part of your bedtime routine.

It also helps to practice this during the day too! 

Have you ever used the nightmare protocol? How might it be helpful with nightmares? What are some things that have helped in the past with nightmares?

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Body Neutrality vs. Body Positivity

March 1, 2022 in Educate Yourself

Social media is inundated with posts about body positivity. While body positivity can be helpful for some people, it still inadvertently places emphasis on appearance as a measure of self-worth and promotes the idea that we need to love our body in order to love ourselves. There is nothing wrong with loving our bodies, but it can be hard to love or even like our bodies when we are starting from a place of negative body image. Simply put, body positivity can feel like an impossible feat for many people.

With body positivity, there is a lot of pressure to think positive thoughts about your body. What if you don’t believe the positive affirmations that you are saying to yourself? This can lead to more distress and feelings of guilt for not being able to truly love your size, shape, or appearance the way the body positivity movement is telling you that you should.

For many people, body neutrality can be a more realistic and attainable goal. Body neutrality promotes the idea that we don’t have to love our body to accept it. We can simply accept our body for how it is while focusing on its functional abilities rather than its appearance. For example, you might choose to focus your attention on what your body can do – move, breathe, think, feel, and experience a full range of emotions – rather than how it looks.

What are some ways that you can practice body neutrality? For starters, you can listen to your body without assigning negative or positive value to it. This can look like eating the foods that you want and incorporating movement into your day in the ways that you enjoy. It can also be helpful to practice replacing your negative thoughts with more neutral ones, rather than trying to force yourself to entertain positive ones. For example, it can be hard to turn “I hate my body” into “I love my body.” Instead, try turning “I hate my body” into “I appreciate my body because it helps me get from place to place and experience the world around me.”

It can take a lot of time and effort to change the way you think about your body, but body acceptance can lead to a happier and fuller life. Remember to give yourself grace as you embark on your body neutrality journey.

What are your thoughts on body neutrality vs. body positivity? In what ways can you practice body neutrality? Let us know down below! 

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To-Do Apps

February 25, 2022 in LINKS

When we are stressed, it can feel like our brains are scrambled and it can be difficult to sort through all the noise. Life can get very busy, and it can be overwhelming keeping up with everything. Setting SMART goals can go a long way in helping us to stay on track. Sometimes though, it’s helpful to have all our thoughts and things to do in one easy-to-access place. While planners are extremely helpful, it isn’t always possible to keep one on us.

Given our increased reliance on technology, it isn’t surprising that a number of productivity and organizing apps have popped up. Here are a few to try to help keep goals and tasks in order:

TickTick: TickTick is great for putting all your tasks in order and tracking habits. You can also make tasks with deadlines and reoccurring tasks! There are multiple ways to organize your tasks, such as categorizing them by priority levels. The one downside with this site is that you would need a Premium paid subscription to see all your tasks in calendar form. You can see more tips on getting started here.

Notion: Notion has a lot of great templates and features included in their free version. You can customize how you view your to-do lists (calendar view, list view, to-do board, etc.) and add custom tags to each event or task. You can download it as a phone or desktop app and include reminders for events. Notion is especially helpful for project management, and you can view your upcoming tasks in a timeline format. You can find more information here

Some other fan favorites have been Habatica and ToDoist and for those with Apple Products TimePage and Things3.

Have you ever tried any of these apps? What were your thoughts? Are you willing to try them? What helps you stay organized?

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Getting Better Sleep Without FOMO

February 24, 2022 in Social Media Guide

Quite often, the first piece of advice we receive when trying to change our sleeping habits and to get a better night’s sleep is to put our phone (and all other types of screens and technology) away. Experts recommend that adolescents get at least 8-10 hours of sleep a night, and, to ensure staying asleep, to avoid screen time at least 30 minutes to 1 hour before you plan to call it a night.

There are plenty of reasons to explain why you should avoid your phone, computer, tablets, and TVs before bed: the bright light keeps you alert and makes you less tired (but more tired in the morning), REM sleep (where memories are processed with ties to problem-solving skills) is decreased, and of course, using screens delays sleep as a whole because you’re engaging with content in some way.

But like all habits, distancing yourself from your phone before bed is easier said than done. For a generation of youths that communicate online as much as, if not more, communicating face-to-face, putting phones away, along with the conversations, social media platforms, and friends that come with it, can be nerve wracking. 

We’ve talked about FOMO and social media breaks before. Because technology and social media is so crucial to how many youths communicate today, it’s easy to feel like anything could happen and that you can miss something important without your phone for just a few seconds, an hour before sleeping, and even longer than that. Not having your phone charging next to you means that you might miss a conversation in a group chat, an email, or even a notification about something you don’t care about at all. The excitement of social media, regardless of what the content is, and just the fact that there is always content to see, makes us want to stay on and makes us afraid that we’ll miss something important, even if we most likely won’t.

If you’re trying to get a better night’s sleep but are having a hard time parting from your phone to do so, just know that all that content will also be there in the morning. Most of the time, there isn’t anything groundbreaking that requires us to stay up expecting an alert at 1AM. Putting your phone away right before bed can also be the first step to take if you want to distance yourself from how much you use and rely on social media as a whole.

If anything, keeping your phone away may make it easier to get out of bed! If you use your phone for your alarm and have it far away from you, you have to get out of it to turn it off, instead of pressing snooze a bunch of times and/or staying in bed scrolling aimlessly on your phone, just like you did the night before, giving you a less groggy and grumpy start to the day.

Do you have trouble sleeping at night? Where do you keep your phone when you’re getting ready for bed? Have you ever considered keeping your phone away before bed? If you have, or do keep it away, has it made any difference in your sleep?

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Practicing Mindfulness

February 23, 2022 in Educate Yourself

Mindfulness is a state of nonjudgmental awareness of one’s thoughts and feelings. It is about being present in the moment and observing your thoughts without getting wrapped up in self-judgement or worries about the past or future. Mindfulness can be used as a means to reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety. What are some ways that you can incorporate mindfulness into your everyday life?

One way to practice mindfulness is to take a mindfulness walk. As you walk, pay attention to yourself – how your body feels and what thoughts are entering your mind. Be aware of your surroundings – use your five senses to pick up on things that you hear, see, smell, feel, and taste. Observe yourself and your surroundings without judgment. For example, you can observe that you are feeling anxious without ascribing negativity to it or judging yourself for feeling that way. Or you may simply observe and fully attend to each of your steps as you walk.

Another fan favorite is mindfulness meditation. This involves sitting comfortably and still. Pay attention to your breathing and observe the feeling of the air coming in and out of your airway. If thoughts enter your mind, take a moment to acknowledge them, and then re-center your attention back to your breathing. Mindfulness meditation is a great way to relax when feeling anxious.

Another great way to practice mindfulness is with body scan meditation. Start by laying on your back in a relaxed position with your arms by your side. Focus on each part of your body starting from your head and moving down to your toes. What sensations do you notice with different parts of your body? What thoughts and emotions come to mind as you work through this exercise?

Another useful mindfulness exercise is the 54321 grounding technique. This exercise can be particularly helpful in moments of distress, as it helps you bring your mind back to the present moment. Start by naming five things that you see – for example, your bed, a tree, a pet, a soft blanket, a poster on the wall. Next, name four things that you feel — the feeling of a soft sweater on your body, warm slippers on your feet, jewelry, a pet. Then name three things that you hear – birds chirping, wind blowing, the TV. Next, name two things you can smell – fresh air, a candle. Finally, name one thing you can taste – the snack you just ate, for example.

These are just a few of the ways you can incorporate mindfulness into your everyday life. The key is to practice both awareness and acceptance!

Have you ever used mindfulness? What are your favorite ways to practice mindfulness? How can you incorporate mindfulness into your daily life?

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Challenging All or Nothing Thinking

February 22, 2022 in Educate Yourself

All-or-nothing thinking is just like what it sounds: when we view things as black or white with no gray in between. All-or-nothing thinking is a cognitive distortion or negative thought pattern that influences how we feel.

Holding ourselves to such high standards can impact our mental health. These high standards reflect a level of perfection no one can truly obtain as humans. The pressure to be perfect can be overwhelming, and it isn’t fair to us. Our lives are complex and carry many different shades, so when we tell ourselves we must be perfect or else, it can lead to us blaming ourselves and experiencing self-hatred.

How do I spot and stop all-or-nothing thinking?

It can be hard to tell we are engaging in all-or-nothing thinking in the moment. Some ways we can identify it are when we use words like “never” “always” or “ever”. For example, saying “I never do anything right” or “I always fail” show all-or-nothing because they are extreme statements that don’t account for alternatives. It’s not possible to “never” do anything right, just like it’s not possible to be perfect.

There are a few ways we can challenge these all-or-nothing thoughts.

Practice self-compassion.

Practice self-compassion by incorporating self-esteem-boosting statements into your daily routine. Instead of being harsh with ourselves, we can talk to ourselves like we’d talk to our friends. One way you can incorporate this visually is by using coping cards

Thinking in Shades of Gray

Instead of viewing something as black or white, think about it as a range or in shades of gray. When things don’t work out, try to rate it as a partial success instead of a complete failure. This approach lets us take a more balanced perspective. For example: when it’s a rough day, think about what you did well despite how hard the day was. Think about times you were proud of yourself and celebrate your “small wins.”

Do you find yourself falling into the trap of all-or-nothing thinking? What are some other ways you can challenge all-or-nothing thinking? Let us know your thoughts!

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Self-Compassion

February 18, 2022 in LINKS

Dr. Kristin Neff, Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at University of Texas at Austin, has spent much of her career researching self-compassion. What is self-compassion? How is self-compassion helpful? How can we get better at having compassion for ourselves? Read on to find out!

Neff writes, “Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings.” She emphasizes the humanness of mistakes, losses, and disappointment; we all share these common experiences and feelings. Having the same compassion for ourselves that we would have for a friend is a key step towards self-acceptance.

Kristin Neff has a lot of guided practices and self-compassion exercises available on her website. Here are some journaling ideas if you are hoping to get started on your self-compassion journey:

  1. How do you respond to a friend who is struggling or who has made a mistake? How do you respond to yourself when you are struggling or have made a mistake? Oftentimes we are far more critical of ourselves than we would be if a friend were in the same situation. How can you apply the compassion you would have for a friend to yourself?
  2. Reframe your self-critical thoughts as kinder and gentler thoughts. Maybe you got a bad grade on a school project, and your inner critic is telling you “you are stupid and worthless.” Take a moment to stop and notice this thought, understand where it is coming from, and talk back to it. You might say to your inner critic “I care about my grades, but ruminating about one project is not making me feel good. I choose to have compassion for myself and acknowledge that failure is an inevitable part of life and I will fail at times. I will try to do better on the next project, but for now, I am choosing self-compassion.”
  3. Keep a self-compassion journal. Each night, write down things that made you feel bad throughout the day. Maybe you were upset with a friend and said something mean that you regret. Maybe you didn’t perform as well in a sports game as you would have liked. Maybe you judged yourself for eating a bag of chips after a long day at school. How can you respond to these situations with more self-compassion? How can you comfort yourself in response to these negative feelings?

For more tips on self-compassion, we recommend checking out Kristen Neff’s book, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, or visiting her website at https://self-compassion.org/.

What is something that you have judged yourself for recently? How can you respond with greater self-compassion? Comment down below!

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