SOVA Blog

#BeThe1To . . . Help Save A Life

July 19, 2018 in Social Media Guide

You can create your own meme by going to the BeThe1To site.

Suicide Prevention Month happens each September. But that’s not the only time to remember how much we can do to help folks who are at risk of suicide—we can take action at any time.

“#BeThe1To” is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline’s social-media message for National Suicide Prevention Month and beyond. It’s intended to spread the word about actions anyone can take to prevent suicide. The organization is working to change the conversation from suicide itself to the prevention of suicide—to actions that can promote healing, help people at risk, and give them hope.

The Lifeline has developed five core messages that are promoted by the hashtag #BeThe1To:

  • Ask: Asking the question, “Are you thinking about suicide” lets a person known that you are open to talking about this difficult subject in a non-judgmental and supportive way. Other questions to ask: “How do you hurt?” “How can I help?” After asking, make sure to listen.
  • Keep them safe: If the person indicates they’re thinking about suicide, it’s important to find out some things to establish immediate safety: have they already done anything to try to hurt themselves before talking with you? Does the person have specific ideas of how they would go about it or a detailed plan? The more steps and specifics in their plans, the greater their risk. It’s especially important to find out if they have access to a gun and, if so, putting distance between them and that gun by calling authorities or driving them to an emergency department.

The myth “If someone really wants to kill themselves, they’ll find a way to do it” often does not hold true if appropriate safety measures are put into place.

  • Be there: Staying in contact with someone who is at risk lets them know that you mean it when you indicate your support for them. Therefore, it’s important not to promise to do anything you cannot or are not willing to do. If you can’t be physically present with them, talk with them to help them figure out who might be able to.
  • Help them connect: According to the Centers for Disease Control, helping a person become more connected to others can help protect against suicide. This is often called a “safety net.” The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800-273-8255) is only one way to connect; it’s also important to help connect them with supports and resources where they live, such as therapists, psychiatrists, doctors, and other community resources. Also, the My3App is a smartphone app that lets people stay connected when they are having suicidal thoughts.
  • Follow up: After you’ve had a conversation with someone in which they’ve admitted that they’re thinking about suicide, it’s important not to just let that conversation fall through the cracks. See how they’re doing: leave a message, send a text, give a call. Studies have shown reduced numbers of deaths by suicide when following up was involved.

What kinds of conversations have you had, either with someone who was struggling with suicidal thoughts, or with someone who was trying to help you with thoughts of your own? What makes it difficult—or easier—for you to talk about this subject with others? Share your ideas in the comments!

#BeThe1to_Navy ESED

This is one of the memes created by the U.S. Navy.

Anxiety—An Under-Diagnosed Phenomenon Among Adolescents

July 17, 2018 in Educate Yourself

Francis S. Lee, M.D.

Francis S. Lee, M.D.

The summer 2018 issue of Behavioral Health News has an interview with Francis S. Lee, M.D., Ph.D., who is the Mortimer D. Sackler Professor and Vice Chair for Research at Weill Cornell Medical College’s psychiatry department. Dr. Lee specializes in studying anxiety disorders, and he talked about the consequences of under-diagnosing anxiety among children and adolescents.

Here are some highlights:

Why anxiety is misunderstood in children

Anxiety disorders are under-recognized, he said, because everyone feels anxiety, including adults. For kids, an example of normal anxiety is to feel nervous before an test or on the first day of school. The child might come to the parent and says they feel anxious. The parent herself sometimes feel anxiety, so she doesn’t grasp the difference between her own anxiety and the severity of her child’s. She just hopes the child will get used to a new routine and the anxiety will go away “naturally.”

But it’s important to get treatment early so that the anxiety doesn’t get worse, and so that it doesn’t lead to depression or dysfunctional behaviors such as substance use disorders.

Why it’s important to look at kids’ anxiety carefully

It’s also important for parents who have anxiety to get help with their anxiety, so that they can minimize modeling or reinforcing anxiety or avoidant behavior with their kids—this can send an unhelpful message to a child who’s genetically predisposed to anxiety.

How anxiety changes with age

There are two anxiety disorders that tend to crop up for young kids: separation anxiety disorder, which is a fear of being separated from one’s parents or safety figure: and specific phobia, such as fear of the dark.

But as the child grows older, the “second wave” of anxiety in early- to mid-adolescence “is harder to understand,” Dr. Lee says.

“There is still great debate amongst psychiatrists and epidemiologists whether there is a second wave, or whether these adolescents have had low levels of anxiety all along throughout childhood, and it is only now finally getting to the attention of a care provider. As I said, there is a significant under-diagnosis of this disorder.”

How to tell whether there is a problem

Dr. Lee suggests that when anxiety becomes extreme, then parents start keeping track of what the teens might be avoiding: going to parties, hanging out with friends, or joining school activities, clubs, or team sports.

Avoidance behavior, Dr. Lee says, leads teens to depend too much on parents. Psychotherapy is a good thing to try, because it attempts to get the adolescent to accept the responsibility of growing his or her own independence. “Working with a skilled therapist will always involve not only the parent but also siblings, on how to deal with a situation where one person in the family seems to take up more attention,” Dr. Lee says.

Why even clinicians are confused about how to treat anxiety in young adults

Dr. Lee notes: “If you have an anxiety disorder or depression before the age of 18, we know exactly what to do: you go to a pediatrician, who then refers you to a psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in children and adolescents. When you turn 18, it’s unclear whom you should see. The young adult has outgrown pediatric care, but is not the typical patient seen in the adult mental health care system.”

Dr. Lee also says that it’s estimated that more than 20 percent of adolescents in colleges and universities have a diagnosable anxiety disorder. Unfortunately, the mental health services at colleges aren’t usually staffed well enough to handle such a large number of cases. So these young adults and their parents need to work together to find a way to support the young adult while they make the transition into full adulthood. Sometimes, if the student has been seeing a therapist he or she trusts at home, sessions can continue over the distance via Skype or some other method. Sometimes a new clinician in the school’s city can be found.

If you’re in college—or if you’re facing going to college this fall—how do you plan to take care of your mental health? How did you make the transition from the care you received at home and your home routines into your college routines and care? These are hugely important questions that so many students are facing right now, as school approaches. Share your strategies with them in the comments!

Nutrition and Mental Health

July 13, 2018 in Educate Yourself, LINKS

Klondike, the original Pittsburgh-made ice cream bar!

Klondike, the original Pittsburgh-made ice cream bar!

Have you ever eaten a load of sugar like a huge ice cream bar and felt kind of crummy? Have you noticed that when you eat lots of fruits and vegetables you feel better overall? That’s because what you put in your body and you brain and very connected. After all you’re all connected. Just as the the thoughts you think will affect how you feel, so too what you eat will affect how you feel.

Gaining control of what you put in your body will not only make you more aware of your health, but it will also help you gain control of your life.

Here are some apps that may help!

MyFitnessPal has a huge built-in library of foods, which makes it easy to upload what you’ve eaten and see how it contributes to your nutrition. It saves the foods you’ve eaten, which makes tracking a snap. You can also set goals and sync your exercise along with your food intake.

ShopWell helps you be sensible while confronted with the truckloads of processed foods inside the grocery store. It helps you buy the foods you really want to buy to stay physically and mentally healthy and not get side-tracked.

Fooducate shows nutritional breakdowns like this one.

Fooducate shows nutritional breakdowns like this one.

Fooducate is a highly rated app that helps you learn what’s really in the foods you’re buying. Nutrition labels can be super confusing. Use Fooducate to scan the labels for a quick assessment of how healthy a food really is. For example, if you’re standing in the dairy section looking at a yogurt that has lots of added sugars or artificial sweeteners, Fooducate will show a red exclamation point to warn you that there may be a better choice.

What are some foods that you eat that make you feel good physically and mentally? What strategies do you use to be mindful of what you put in your mouth?

Facebook and Life Satisfaction

July 12, 2018 in Social Media Guide

facebookXHow many times have you logged onto Facebook this week? How many times today? More than once today?

Most people in the U.S. would answer yes to all these questions. Using social media is a natural part of our lives today. How many times have you opened your phone and wandered into Instagram, Snapchat, etc. without even thinking? Social media is something of a habit for many people living in our day and age.

Have you ever considered the impact that using social media so frequently could have on your attitude? Researchers in Denmark wanted to get down to the bottom of this question, so they took over 1,000 Facebook users and asked half of them not to log on for just one week.

The results? The folks in the group who stopped using Facebook experienced increased wellness. Specifically, they had greater life satisfaction and more positive emotions! The researchers hypothesized that some of those people who stopped logging on had less “Facebook envy”—they didn’t experience the negative feelings that come along with scrolling through our feeds and comparing yourself to your peers (which many of us are guilty of!). Anyone who falls into this category could benefit the most from limiting their Facebook use.

You can read more about the study here.

The researchers mentioned that these benefits become evident even when you simply cut back on your use of Facebook, so you don’t necessarily have to quit “cold turkey” to improve your mood!

One of our SOVA ambassadors writes about the benefits of quitting social media here.

What do these findings mean to you? Do you think they extend to other social media websites, like Instagram? Let us know your thoughts, and whether this new information makes you consider how often you are logging on to Facebook and other websites!

Can Fame, Success, and Money Cure Depression and Anxiety?

July 10, 2018 in Educate Yourself

We all know Michael Phelps, right?

He’s the most successful and most decorated Olympic athlete of all time, with a total of 28 medals.

phelpsmedalsPhelps was only 19—still an adolescent!—when he went to the Olympics in Athens and tied the record of winning eight medals of any color at a single Olympic Games.

And what happens when an athlete, even an adolescent athlete, is that successful?—He becomes a celebrity. Corporations offer millions of dollars in endorsement fees. Michael Phelps’s net worth is estimated to be $55 million.

A lot of people might think that all that fame, success, and money would make his life happy and secure. But those things did not heal the lifelong anxiety and depression that Michael Phelps says he has experienced.

Check out the video below in which Phelps talks about how he has gone through at least half a dozen “depression spells.” In one, he locked himself in his bedroom for four days and wouldn’t come out.

What really did help him get better, then? A number of things, he says:

  • The love and care of family and friends
  • Professional help
  • Communication

Phelps talks about the need for people with mental illness to open up about their experiences. He says,

If we can open up and we can communicate, and we can understand that it’s OK not to be OK, I think we can save a lot of lives.

Phelps is now working to help kids open up about their anxiety and depression. Learning to communicate his feelings, he says, helped him grow through the experiences of depression and anxiety.

What are the things that you have thought that, if you could just achieve them, your life might be perfect? What are the resources in your life that have helped you get better? Share your experiences in the comments!

Learning Skills to Change Negative “Thought Patterns”

July 9, 2018 in Be Positive

(Trigger warning: self-harm.)

Shirley Manson when she was very young.

Shirley Manson when she was very young.

The New York Times ran an informative and insightful essay from Shirley Manson, a middle-aged musician and member of the Scottish-American alternative rock band Garbage, about why she began self-harming in her teens—in the 1980s—and how she has stayed watchful for what she calls the “thought patterns” that led to her destructive behavior.

Manson writes that she was in her late teens when she first started cutting herself. She was in an abusive relationship with a man who cheated on her behind her back, among other hurtful things.

As we have written before, and as the National Alliance on Mental Illness notes on its website, self-harming behaviors in and of themselves don’t constitute a mental illness. Rather, they’re one result of a lack of coping skills. But even though it’s not an illness, someone hurting themselves, or even thinking about hurting themselves, is a sign that they’re in emotional distress.

A recent study, also reported in the New York Times, found that rates of non-suicidal self-harm among teens are higher than previously thought. Up to 30 percent of teen girls in some parts of the U.S. reported that they engaged in self-harm. Among boys the percentage is lower, but still, in some regions, almost 15 percent of boys have engaged in self-harm.

And Shirley Manson as she is now.

And Shirley Manson as she is now.

Because adolescents who engage in self-harm lack coping skills, they don’t know how else to relieve that emotional tension, so they relieve it in a negative way. As Manson describes in her essay, self-harm helped her express deep anger she harbored against the person who was hurting her. But turning that anger against herself cost her even more distress in the long run.

One thing we like about Manson’s essay is the way she describes how the self-harm ended: she started learning positive communication skills with a friend who, as she says, was “a loving, respectful person who also happened to be an incredible communicator.”

Relationships and community are important in healing mental illness. They don’t “fix” us, but they help us learn in safety. In a positive relationship, Manson learned to express her feelings in loving, compassionate, and healthy ways.

Effective communication—whether verbal or written, or via music, visual art, dance, or any other creative method—is a skill that can relieve immense pressure and also bring us closer to others. Because while self-harm hides our feelings from others, communication shares them. Others find out who we really are, and they also have a chance to relate their feelings to ours. We find out we’re not alone in this world!

Manson also talks about how, in adulthood, she has remained on the alert for the negative “thought patterns” that led her to hurt herself in adolescence. One of the most powerful and dangerous is comparing herself to other people, a common habit of perfectionists, who often feel like they’re never “enough.”

How does she remain positive about herself and her thinking? She writes,

I choose to speak up. … I believe it is not what we look like that is important, but who we are. It is how we choose to move through this bewildering world of ours that truly matters.

How do you cope with thought patterns that you know could be dangerous for you? What strategies do you use when you’re tempted to do something that you know you really don’t want to do? Let us know in the comments.

The Healing Power of Music

July 6, 2018 in LINKS

Summertime is the time to relax! But some of us have real trouble relaxing and putting down our worries. We might pop on a pair of earbuds and find some music to help us.

Music releases dopamine, the reward chemical, which makes us feel good. People who listen to music they like have dopamine levels up to 9 percent higher than others—one of the first scientific indications of how helpful music can be.

Music helps some of us keep the beat when we’re running, or to push even harder when we’re strength-training—both good activities for improving depression.

Check out the following links, which tell more about the many reasons why music is so healing!

If you listen to music to help you relax, what type of music do you prefer? Share some playlists with us! 

The Future of Well-Being as Life Moves Online

July 5, 2018 in Social Media Guide

onlineThe Pew Research Center on Internet and Technology came out with a report recently that offers an opinion about the future of technology and social well-being that’s different from the doom-saying we commonly hear.

Pew, along with Elon University’s Imagining the Internet Center, asked tech experts, scholars, and health specialists this question:

Over the next decade, how will changes in digital life impact people’s overall well-being physically and mentally?

It was an informal survey, so the results can’t be considered scientific. Still, of the 1,150 experts who responded, almost half predicted that people’s mental and physical well-being will be more helped than harmed by digital life in the next 10 years. About one-third said the opposite—that more harm than good will come of online life. About one-fifth said they didn’t think much change would happen.

Among the “plurality” (that means not a majority, which is more than half, but the biggest group) that thought more good than harm would come of online life, here were some of their reasons:

  • Connection: Online life connects people to people, knowledge, education, and entertainment anywhere on the planet, at any time, and in affordable ways.
  • Commerce, government, and society: Online life revolutionizes civic, business, consumer, and personal logistics, opening up a world of opportunity and options.
  • Intelligence: Online life is essential to tapping into health, safety, and science resources, tools, and services in real time.

This is good news in an environment filled with doom and gloom about how the internet will change our mental health for the worse.

What about you—which group do you fall into? Try to imagine a world without the internet—what does it look like? Would you be more happy, or less? How might you go about using the internet so it does foster the benefits the experts mention?

Thinking about Independence

July 4, 2018 in Educate Yourself

Happy Independence Day! Today’s holiday celebrates the action of the Continental Congress, which on July 4, 1776 declared that the 13 colonies would be colonies no more, but independent states. Of course Britain, who believed it was in charge of the colonies, didn’t like the prospect of this separation one bit. And so began a protracted fight that lasted more than eight years.

independence02We can see more than a little similarity here with the ways adolescents declare their independence from their families.

  • In some families, there may be little conflict: the parents understand that adolescence is a protracted time of learning to separate from one’s family, and they work to support that in a balanced way, while also taking care of their own feelings of grief and pride that their child is slowly leaving them and growing into an adult.
  • In other families, there may be no acknowledgment of the separation at all. These families may not like or know how to talk about their feelings, so they simply deny that separation is happening. The adolescents may separate well, or may have trouble separating, but in any case, they don’t have much familial support in that work. Not being able to talk with their parents about these strong feelings may result in depression and anxiety.
  • And then in yet other families, there may be long fights—”wars of independence.” The parents know that their adolescent wants to separate and they actively work to prevent it from happening. The adolescent may respond by enacting their independence in confrontational ways, upsetting the parents, who may not know how to express their feelings of upset and worry, so they resist the separation and come down hard with punishments. And the fights begin.

Ring any bells?

Of course, there are many other ways separation gets enacted inside families. But which of these three general scenarios appeals to you most?

This little blog isn’t meant to propose “tips” or solutions to this complicated and difficult process, which is different inside every family. We’re just trying to point out that the process is indeed difficult and complicated—and also beautiful and wonderful to watch—and that everyone involved deserves compassion and breathing space.

Where are you in your process of becoming independent? How do you feel about the prospect of growing into independence? Let us know in the comments!

Behavioral Methods to Manage Depression

June 29, 2018 in LINKS

Oftentimes when a person is depressed they may feel tired, as well as have a lack of motivation and energy. These changes in mood can lead a person who is depressed not to carry out their daily tasks, activities, and responsibilities. All of these responsibilities at home, school, or work can begin to pile up. This can cause the person to feel overwhelmed, creating an increased feeling of guilt, uselessness, and failure. In turn, this can become a cycle that increases the depressed mood and further lowers motivation. 

squatsIncreasing your activity levels—simply getting exercise, for example, can help you to feel better, be less tired, and think more clearly. Positive experiences can help alleviate some of the depressed feelings and mood. 

The Behavioral Strategies for Managing Depression Module provides a list of 185 ideas about pleasurable activities that someone could do such as thinking about planning a day’s activities, exercising, or going ice skating, roller skating/blading. When you are feeling depressed, you have to make an effort to plan fun and enjoyable activities into your life.  The module has a worksheet for you to follow to help you track your activities and rate your depression, pleasant feelings, and sense of achievement before and after the activity. It also has a weekly schedule to help plan out daily responsibilities and pleasurable activities.

It’s best to start slow by adding just a few small activities a week. (For example, the squats in the photo above are part of a simple seven-exercise routine that starts small and builds—check it out here.) Then, over time, slowly increase the number of activities. It might seem hard in the beginning, but setting reasonable goals for yourself is important so it won’t feel like too much too soon.

Choosing to perform tasks that give you a sense of achievement or mastery will help you feel like you are starting to regain control over your life. Once you gain a sense of achievement, that sense may encourage you to do more and thus improve your mood.

What are some fun and pleasurable activities you do to help fight depression and increase your mood?