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Navigating the Internet with Social Anxiety

April 29, 2021 in Social Media Guide

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It’s not uncommon to be anxious to meet new people or be in a new, unfamiliar environment. It’s also not uncommon to feel terrified before performing something in front of a crowd, whether it be alone or with others. It’s also not uncommon to even feel a little bit nervous meeting people you’re comfortable with and know pretty well.

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But then there’s social anxiety. Social anxiety takes this feel and makes it feel even stronger, and being around others can cause physical symptoms such as sweating, nausea, and trembling. It can even have drastic effects on already established relationships and can prevent people from going to work and school. The fear of humiliation, being judged, and rejected when meeting others and taking part in activities can not only affect how those with social anxiety see themselves, but can also prevent them from reaching their full potential.

Researchers have recently started looking into if similar results happen when people with social anxiety use social media and interact with others online. Often, the Internet is seen as a way of “escaping real life” and is a place of refuge with those with different degrees of social anxiety. This is true for adolescents too, who generally spend a significant time online as a whole. Studies have found that adolescents with social anxiety communicated online significantly more about personal things than those who said that they don’t have social anxiety or experience loneliness. The more that an adolescent uses online games and spends time online gaming is also more likely to show more symptoms of social anxiety.

But why is it easier for adolescents with social anxiety to communicate online, to the point where they’re more likely to share more private and personal thoughts and information? One possible explanation is that they consider the spaces they go to online to be “protective” and find conversations online to be more satisfying. They don’t have to worry about seeing people’s reactions on their faces, which may cause worry, and they don’t have to feel the pressure of always having something to say.

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There is also an association between social anxiety disorder and other mental illnesses, such as depression. Because of this, some researchers are hoping that these findings about socially anxious adolescents and their preference for communicating online can help them come up with interventions and methods to also deliver over the Internet to help with their corresponding mental illnesses. Adolescents with social anxiety may fear going to the doctor’s or a therapist’s office, talking to the receptionist, and calling to make the appointment in the first place. Delivering similar methods over the Internet and social media can feel less intensive and can be more likely to be completed.

Do you have social anxiety? Where are you more comfortable communicating with others: online or in person? What are instances that you can think of where using the Internet can cause social anxiety? Has any of this changed during quarantine?

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Staying Awake as an Act of Rebellion

April 28, 2021 in Educate Yourself

Most of us do not like being told what to do. It can be as minor as a parent telling us to do an easy chore, or someone you don’t know that well telling you how to do something. This even includes your own brain: for example, you may tell yourself to start that homework assignment or put your laundry away, and instead…you would rather not.

Another example is something called “revenge bedtime procrastination.” If you find yourself staying up late, even though you know you need to go to sleep, and continue to stay up late anyway, you likely are engaging in revenge bedtime procrastination. In short, the idea behind revenge bedtime procrastination is that your brain keeps you awake to make up for lost time. Spending the majority of your day at work and/or school – things you likely aren’t the biggest fan of – may make you feel that you need to spend just as much time on yourself. Thus, when the day itself is winding down, your brain continues to be active so you can do things for you.

This has been getting more attention because of the pandemic, but staying up to make up for lost time is nothing new. Unfortunately, however, your body may be too tired or you may not have the opportunity to do much, so even if your brain wants you to continue to stay awake, the activities you do are not likely to be productive. If you find yourself staying up late and putting off going to bed, you’re likely going to spend that time mindlessly scrolling on your phone or watching TV. For some, especially those with anxiety, staying up late also puts off the idea that the next day is going to arrive, and the routine of school, work, and other assignments is unfortunately going to continue. Staying up late is the mind’s way of putting it off as much as possible, even if those tasks are going to start at the same time no matter what.

As we know at this point, sleep deprivation is both mentally and physically damaging, despite trying to make up for lost time. We have tons of articles about how to manage your sleep and set more appropriate habits that you can try out to get the healthiest amount. When it comes to revenge bedtime procrastination specifically, try to remember that no matter what, the next day is inevitable, and the scrolling on your phone isn’t worth getting half the amount of sleep that your body needs. Unfortunately, accepting this is easier said than done, but you can also set goals for yourself to give time just for you each day during the week to do whatever makes you feel productive and happy.

Do you find yourself staying up late for no reason? What do you do? Do you know why you like to stay up late? Have you noticed your sleeping patterns change since the pandemic?

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How to Use Free Time to Fuel Positivity

April 26, 2021 in Be Positive

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As the school year soon begins to wind down (or you may have very recently finished), you may find yourself thinking about how much free time you have coming up. Of course, this can be a great thing: you have some time where you’re not burdened by homework and assignments and for possibly the first time in a while, you aren’t restricted to a Monday-Friday schedule. It can also be stressful, and a lack of structure and schedule can actually increase symptoms of anxiety, especially for students on summer vacation.

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Of course, this isn’t to say that you have to book summer classes or stay in an academic headspace year-round (that can be anxiety-inducing too!). Studies have found that leisurely activities increase mental health benefits, and the results are stronger when they provide some sort of daily structure during long breaks or stretches of time. These may even have greater effects if these leisure activities help put you in a positive mood and are meant to increase happiness.

Not everyone’s summer is the same, and with a lack of structure, things can change everyday. Here are a couple of suggestions to add some sort of schedule depending on how much time you have to yourself on a regular basis to help ease any anxiety that may occur from feeling like you have nothing yet everything to do. These shouldn’t be treated as set schedules, since summer is unpredictable, but even doing the same sort of activity around the same time a couple of times of week can help give you a sense of a routine.

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If you have 5 minutes a day…
You can fill out a gratitude prompt or take the time to do some brief meditation and deep breathing. We’ve talked about both before if you need an app or any other references.

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If you have an hour a day…
You can take the time to do some sort of physical activity. It could be something like going to a class at the gym or your local rec center (if it’s safe enough to do so indoors), or even putting up a cycle of Youtube videos about yoga, lifting dumbbells, or whatever you have on hand. If you can’t or don’t want to be super active, you can also use this time to go for a walk outside.

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If you have the whole day…
You can do everything listed above! If you’re able to, however, you can block out the same time every day to read a book, block out another chunk of time later that to explore a new, relaxing hobby (think knitting or baking), and you can even schedule time to dedicate to watching videos online. If you live in a city or an area with a lot of places to explore, you can dedicate a couple of hours a day by exploring a new neighborhood or trying a new coffee shop.

Do you have any plans for the summer? How do you feel about giving yourself some sort of schedule over the summer? Do you notice your mood or mental health changing during long breaks?

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Getting Things Done

April 23, 2021 in Educate Yourself

Over the past year, you may have already found yourself getting in the groove of things and finding a routine that works best for you. And if you haven’t, that’s okay! There’s no “correct” way to do everything at home.

Each day brings something different too. For those in school, finals and big assignments may be coming up soon, and it can be daunting to figure out how to get everything done, especially with the anxiety you may be feeling with these tasks on top of the anxiety with everything else going on. Ironically, if you feel anxiety when it comes to getting tasks completed, those symptoms of anxiety may actually delay you from starting them, making it take even longer to get everything done. Distractions around you like your phone, bed, and other tabs don’t help either.

Overall, it’s overwhelming and messy.

So, if you have big things that you need to get done coming up – or even if you want to make sure you can stay on task when everything feels distracting – there are ways to focus on them without these daunting anxious feelings.

One way to do this is by dividing your work into intervals. This is known as the Pomodoro Technique, where you spend a set amount of time focusing on whatever you need to focus on, take a small break, and then repeat. The amount of time you choose to do your work can vary depending on how long you realistically think you can focus. Some may be able to do a half-hour of their work, take a three minute break, and repeat until they’re done, while others may think that spending ten minutes working is the most realistic with five minute breaks. Everyone works differently.

There are a ton of apps that you can use that lets you set how long you want these intervals and breaks to be. Some include Be Focused, the Tomato Timer, and Engross. You can check them out and choose what’s best for you depending on what device you want to have the timer on, how they look, and how effective they are.

How are you dividing your time at home? Do you have any apps that you use for productivity? How do they affect your stress and anxiety?

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How Social Media Can Provide Resources for Mental Health Information

April 22, 2021 in Social Media Guide

We use the Internet to learn about, essentially, everything. All it takes is opening up the browser app of your choice or opening up a new tab, googling whatever you’re interested in, and immediately getting hundreds upon thousands upon millions of results. This can be, without a doubt, overwhelming. There’s so much information to parse through and consider, and sometimes, you may find yourself going to social media sites you’re comfortable and familiar with and do the research there.

Using the Internet to learn more about mental health is no exception to this research process, especially for youths. In a generation that is almost entirely online and at an age where symptoms of depression and anxiety are likely to start to surface, it’s no surprise that 90% of teens and young adults who show more intense symptoms of depression have turned to the Internet to learn more about mental health. The tools they turn to can range from using apps focused on well-being, using chat features to connect with professionals, and listening to podcasts.

However, youths are vocal about which tools are more useful than others. Most notably, they’re not as likely to call hotlines, and the percentages of those who use the Internet to connect to a health professional are lower than alternative methods. In fact, they are likely to be on the social media platforms they’re already using for everything else when they’re online. While youths use social media to primarily vent and have someone they can trust and have access to when experiencing mental health issues, social media might be able to help them learn about mental health by having that same trustworthy person give them sites and professionals they’ve spoken to, or they may be able to find professionally run accounts who use social media as a means of educating followers about mental health. 

This isn’t to suggest that using social media is the best and only option to do research on mental health and that it will provide the most accurate information. It’s important to get as much professional knowledge as possible if you can (our links category has some options you can consider looking further into), and those with more severe depressive symptoms are more likely to feel left out when online, but what social media can help with is not just reading and hearing about others’ experiences, but being able to connect to and talk with them.

Has social media helped you in learning about mental health? Have you talked to anyone online about your mental health or their mental health? What resources online have you used to learn about mental health?

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A Story of Hope

April 16, 2021 in Be Positive, LINKS

Dr. Bertice Berry

When Dr. Bertice Berry had all of her scheduled lectures cancelled in March of 2020, she was left with a lot of free time. Dr. Berry had been spending her days flying all over the country to give talks to people about communication and telling stories to inspire hope. When all of that was immediately taken away, she had to figure out her next steps.

She looked at her situation and thought “what can I do really well? What skills do I have that I can use to help others?” Dr. Berry knew she had a couple of strong skills – sewing and inspiring hope. This resulted in sewing over 20,000 masks for people in need, and led to her teaching and inspiring others through some of the hardest challenges that have been faced.

We all have these skills and Dr. Berry talks about how we can use those skills to make things better for others. Through her fantastic storytelling, she motivates the audience to find hope through their own stories. She shares about how powerful it can be to decide your own story. It can help frame how people see you, but also how you see yourself.

In one story, Dr. Berry explains how she would often travel for work and was at the airport when a little girl at the gate began to get a little bit out of control. Dr. Berry purchased a movie and the two of them began to talk and watch it together on her phone. The girl had an instant change in her behavior and calmed down and gave her a little token of appreciation – her doll’s glove. Dr. Berry showed the glove and talked about how it has served as a reminder for her about all the great people in the world and how her positive attitude can spread and make a difference.

Dr. Berry approaches big cultural topics through meaningful events that happen on a personal level, making her ideas easy to understand for anyone. Please check out her fantastic lecture about hope and storytelling here.

What inspires you? Do you incorporate hope into your life? What is a skill that you have that you think – or already use! – to inspire others?

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Deciding What Social Media Platforms May be Negatively Impacting You

April 15, 2021 in Social Media Guide

How many social media accounts do you have? A Pew research study found that about 75% of adults have more than one social media account. This number is likely to be pretty high in teens and adolescents who grew up with technology and social media.

Not all social media platforms are created equal, though. Some serve different purposes, like how some are likely to use Twitter for news and Instagram to share their creative photography. Despite these different purposes however, there’s been a lot of overlap now that these platforms share a lot of features and have a lot of users on them.

With that all being said, the aesthetics of the site, the people you follow, and how those people share and post content can affect you differently depending which one you’re on. For some, these different feelings might be obvious, but it’s likely that you’re unable to tell because of the sheer amount of accounts that you may be cycling through. After a while, using these sites may all blur together, which may also contribute to that overwhelming, stressful feeling you might get by spending a lot of time on social media.

So if you are feeling overwhelmed by social media, or even if you feel like something is off and you’re mentally not feeling your best, it might help to apply some organization tips towards your phone, tablet, or computer. By spending a few minutes on the social media platforms you’re actively using, you can attempt to separate them and spend some time asking yourself questions about how each make you feel. You can write down these feelings about each platform, and afterwards take a few minutes to see which exactly are causing particular stronger negative emotions. You can ask yourself questions such as, “Why is this platform making me feel like this?” “Is this platform worth keeping?” “How can I improve my experience on this platform?”

Hopefully, by taking a step back and evaluating exactly which platforms are affecting you and why these platforms are doing so can give you some time to self-reflect and find ways to improve not just your social media experience, but your mood and mental health overall.

What are the social media platforms that you use the most frequently? Do you have more than one? Have you noticed if you feel differently depending on which one you’re on?

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Improving Sleep

April 9, 2021 in LINKS

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While it’s incredibly important to get a good night’s sleep, sleeping patterns and the amount of sleep adolescents get can get jumbled because of mental illness (for example, we’ve talked about “depression naps” and the effects that they can have). Overall, it’s difficult for adolescents to get the recommended amount of sleep they should be getting, and with higher rates of mental illness within this age group today, it can be even more difficult because of the ways that it can affect your sleep, such as depression napping and insomnia.

There are tons of resources available online and through app stores that offer ways to contribute to measuring and stabilizing your sleeping patterns, but we’ve pulled a few that you can check out below!

Flux You can install Flux on your computer so that your screen automatically adjusts with the sun. Screens emit brighter, blue lighting that can hurt the eyes, especially at night. Flux dims your computer to a softer, orange color at sunset, and you can adjust how strong the color and softness are.

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Sleep with Me This podcast is dedicated to help you fall asleep by telling bedtime stories. The host, Drew Ackerman, takes a comedic approach in his story choice and storytelling, but still does so in a way that helps the listener not feel like they have to pay attention and eventually drifting off to sleep. There are over 700 episodes too, so you don’t have to worry about running out of content.

There are also other podcasts available meant to help the listener sleep. You can check out some other lists for more info and ideas.

Pzizz Science-based and supported, Pzizz uses soft music, voices, and sound effects to help you fall and stay asleep. It’s not just limited for sleeping at night, and includes options if you want to take a nap and to help you stay focused.

Do you use anything on your phone or computer to help you fall and stay asleep at appropriate times? If you nap (whether voluntarily or involuntarily), what have you tried to make sure you don’t interrupt your sleep at night?

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Taking a Break

April 2, 2021 in LINKS

Though we’re constantly on our computers, sometimes we need to have a brief distraction from whatever task we’re currently focusing on, whether to jump start our motivation or calm any stress that the assignment is causing. The reasons we’re working or need a distraction may vary, and just like needing distractions for different reasons, the things we seek out to relax and ease our anxiety differ from person to person.

It can be easy for these distractions to build up however, and before you know it, it’s two hours later and you’re deep into the social media feed of your choosing. The options below offer brief online distractions that shouldn’t last more than a few minutes. This way, you can get some quick me-time in before continuing with whatever task you have at hand.

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Want a complete escape?  The website Do Nothing for Two Minutes from Calm.com wants you to do exactly that for, you guessed it, two whole minutes. The timer on the screen counts down the 120 seconds against a sunset sky, and if you try to move your mouse or keyboard, the timer starts over, making sure you don’t touch your computer for the duration. Obviously, it can’t stop you from going on your phone or talking to a friend next to you, but no cheating! Whether it be staring at the calming screen or closing your eyes, these two minutes should all be about doing absolutely nothing.

Want to think about what to eat for dinner? BuzzFeed’s Tasty is the most well-known cooking channel, popular for its quick videos preparing a variety of dishes that can take hours in a couple of minutes. It’s just one of several video channels that features food preparation against an aesthetically pleasing counter and catchy music; similar channels like Spoon University was created specifically for college students, and TasteMade has a whole playlist where food is made…but miniature in a tiny “kitchen.” Be careful though, because though they are short, it’s easy to build them up and watch them in succession. And of course, it can make you really, really hungry.

What do you do for distractions when you take a break from assignments? Do you think breaks are needed, or do you prefer to completely finish your work before doing something else?

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Self-Deprecating Humor

March 30, 2021 in Educate Yourself

There are many ways that you can be funny. Maybe you have a preference for puns (or you might think they’re a pun-ishment), or you may think that having a monotone, dry sense of humor is the way to go. 

You may have heard of self-deprecating humor before too. It shows up all the time on sitcoms and stand-up specials, and you may have even used it yourself. The best way to describe self-deprecating humor is by watching Chandler from Friends. While he makes sarcastic, sometimes subtly mean comments towards others, he mostly directs them towards himself. 

Self-deprecating humor is a form of self-awareness, but the person using that humor only points out what they think are negative things or things they don’t like about themselves, but says it aloud in a funny, joking way. You can joke about something you don’t like about yourself physically, something about your personality, or it can even be as straightforward as sarcastically saying something like, “Anyone else in this room hate themselves too?”

Using self-deprecating humor isn’t new, but log onto websites like twitter and tiktok and it can feel like those types of jokes are everywhere (think of any meme with a trash can and people referring to it as their home, for example). Not only does social media allow us to make self-deprecating posts, but liking and retweeting them allows us to participate in self-deprecating humor on a larger, public platform.

Therapist: And what do we say when something bad happens?

Me: Seems about right

Therapist: No

— Kristen (@Kica333) July 15, 2019

But how does self-deprecating humor impact your mental health? A lot of self-deprecating tweets and memes are often associated with mental illness with jokes like feeling dead inside, one’s depression and anxiety telling you two different things, wanting to die, and blaming yourself for all the bad things that have happened to your life. 

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Some research has shown results that having self-defeating humor can help in some aspects, like processing anger, and may improve psychological well-being and sociability. Seeing these memes may make whoever retweets or see them feel like they’re not alone and that thousands of other people feel the same way they do. The jokes about mental health can be a way of relating to others, and also is a way of you showing vulnerability and transparency about your mental health.

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Most research has shown that being this openly negative about yourself – even if done in a humorous way – has a detrimental effect on your mental health and can negatively affect your professional success, however. Some people may view one using this humor as “pathetic” and having a negative presence, and saying pessimistic things about yourself out loud gives you more ammo against yourself: and you’re not just kicking yourself while you’re down internally, but externally too. While self-defeating humor is used a way of lowering expectations for others and yourself, it can also set you up for failure, because you’re openly saying that you don’t think you’re doing a great job at something and almost expecting the bad things to happen instead.

So while the memes can be funny and relatable, they can ultimately just feel sad. It could be a way of coping, but if you use it all the time, it can also act as a barrier from talking to other people because they only see the negative parts of you. Ultimately, everyone’s sense of humor is different, but when it gets to the point that everything about it is negative, it can affect not just those around you, but your own well-being and perception of yourself too.

Do you use self-deprecating humor? What do you think about people making jokes about themselves?

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