SOVA Blog

What is Sadfishing?

March 18, 2021 in Educate Yourself

You probably haven’t heard of sadfishing. You may have experienced the phenomenon, but just without a name to give it. 

Lately, the conversations surrounding mental health have started to become more common and openly accepted. This is especially true online: there are tons of accounts over all social media platforms with shareable posts about the importance of taking care of yourself and information about mental illness. You have likely seen posts from friends and celebrities opening up about their struggles and hard times that they’ve gone through, too, particularly with the overall negative effects on our mental health because of the pandemic.

These posts are where sadfishing comes in. According to Digital Awareness UK, an agency in the UK that aims to promote safe and responsible behavior online (especially for teens), adolescents who post things about their mental health, mental illness, or even simply sadder posts feel like they’re accused of sadfishing and face backlash from their peers as a result.

Sadfishing is when people allegedly post on social media where they exaggerate what they’re going through or make stuff up in order to get attention (and on social media, that means comments, likes, and shares). There aren’t any examples of this actually happening, but there are a lot of examples of adolescents being accused of it, when all they really want and need is support when they post their vulnerabilities online. 

Accusing people of sadfishing – even implying that sadfishing is a thing – can have a lot of negative effects. Aside from the accusation, sadfishing may make the conversation about mental health go backwards. People have started becoming more vulnerable online, but the fear of being accused of doing it for attention may make them decide not to do post this kind of content anymore, even if they are seeking support. This can also affect other users who could have used that vulnerable post to feel like they’re not alone in their own struggles.

The person who coined the term didn’t do so with this intention though. The journalist mentions that the term was never created so people stop talking, but because sadfishing is likely to be present in celebrities, where they might be picking and choosing what to reveal based on what works for their image. She argues that it’s important to normalize sadness and mental illness, but with social media, it’s easy to manipulate what you want to talk about in order to make it shareable or the social media stats that we crave online (you can read her original article about sadfishing and the Kardashians here).

She legitimizes sadfishing and what it’s become, however: “lots of us sadfish sometimes, and that’s okay. Attention seeking is a perfectly legitimate thing. There’s nothing wrong with wanting attention.


How do you feel about the term sadfishing? Have you seen posts by friends or celebrities where they’ve opened up about mental illnesses? How do you remember reacting to them? If you post about mental health on other social media sites, how do you do so?

The Power of Movement

March 15, 2021 in Be Positive

Chances are, you’ve been feeling or likely have recently felt like a blob. That sluggish, lethargic feeling is understandable – spending so much time indoors, in front of a screen, and being limited to interacting with others virtually sucks a lot of energy out of people, even if it doesn’t require a lot of activity.

This blob-like feeling doesn’t just suck the energy out of you, but it can also make you feel really bad, and even trigger mental illness symptoms. You may experience guilt because you don’t have the energy to work, despite being in your designated workplace, and you may get anxious because you aren’t being as productive as you feel like you should be. There is also a link between fatigue and depression, so if you are already feeling tired and guilty as a result, your depressive symptoms may also get triggered, leaving you in the frozen, lazy spot.

While there’s no “cure” to this lethargy necessarily, doing little active things where you can almost feels like a jolt to the system. You may feel the pressure to be in one place at all times, especially if you’re in school or work and feel like you have to be in front of your screen, but two minutes away is not the end of the world and despite those anxious feelings that you might get called out or fired or lectured by your teacher and/or boss, you are likely to find yourself feeling even more productive and in the zone by the time you return to your workplace. It may also be tough to snap out of that depressive haze if you’re feeling tired and blob-like, but setting a goal and knowing that you are very likely to see an improvement in how you feel can motivate you to simply get up and pace back and forth in your room.

The movement can be anything. Though we just listed pacing back and forth, you can also stand next to your desk or bed and do some stretches, go to the kitchen to get a glass of water, or even make the journey to your bathroom to splash some water on your face. 

As humans, we aren’t supposed to be frozen in one place for an extended period of time, much less expected to do substantial amounts of work. Taking breaks where you can, and using those breaks to get your muscles moving can make more of a difference than we realize, especially mentally. Giving yourself that (very brief) time just for you, to do whatever you want, as long as you’re moving, is needed.


What have you been doing just for yourself during school and/or work hours? Do you give yourself breaks? Do you find yourself spending too much time in front of a screen without breaks? How does this affect you?

The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

March 12, 2021 in LINKS

DBSA lets you find local support groups that they run as well as an option to create an account for online support

According to the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA), over 21 million Americans are affected by mood disorders including depression and bipolar disorder. Through its large network, the organization aims to create a community in over 600 support groups and make extensive resources accessible to help those coping with these disorders.

The site means it when they say their resources are extensive. There’s advice on how to set and achieve goals (since this can be difficult for those with a mood disorder, according to the website), a worksheet, handbook, and videos about wellness and “living successfully,” and a complete breakdown about depression and bipolar disorder.

DBSA really shines through however with its support tools. We want to specifically highlight their section for young adults. They have handouts that talk about wellness in relationships and wellness in school, a weekly online support group, and their own podcast hosted by fellow young adults on topics such as budgeting and insurance with a mood disorder, dealing with relapse, and faith and mental health.

We’ve only touched the surface about the kinds of resources that the DBSA contains, so if you want to learn more, you can explore here!


Do you use any online resources to learn more about mental illness symptoms that you experience? What are your experiences with bipolar disorder?

Shared Grief Online

March 11, 2021 in COVID-19, Social Media Guide

The news notifications and throwback posts on your phone have most likely reminded you that today is the first full year since America has entered what we’ve been experiencing as the pandemic. This time last year, the news took a complete 180 and events quickly started shutting down, spring breaks were extended to figure out what to do about classes, and there was just a general confusion as to what was happening as updates and changes seemed to dropping every other minute.

We won’t get into the details of the anniversary itself (and we talked about the emotions you’re most likely feeling last week), but because today likely feels more significant than the other mundane, tiring, and frustrating than most of the other 364 days this past year, we did want to talk about encountering this kind of content and how people express their feelings about a shared traumatic experience (even if they don’t consider it to be one) on public platforms.

Grief looks and feels different for everyone. Your timeline may be filled with throwbacks, or it may only have a couple. Some may be posting their old photos in jest, joking about how wild it that we met up in groups or how shocked that they were on an airplane this time last year. Others may be using humor, while others may use this time to reflect on the heavy losses they’ve experienced over the course of the year, whether it be death, jobs, or significant events that they had to cancel.

Unless you’re joking about people’s feelings and minimizing others’ grief, there really is no wrong way to talk about the anniversary, and it’s just as valid if you choose to avoid social media today. You may want to turn off your news notifications too as thinkpieces come in about how significant March 11th, 2020 was, too. 

Overall, it can be hard to navigate social media spaces when everyone is talking about the same thing, especially when it’s an event that has been around for so long and has had an overall negative effect on people. It may be cathartic to post online, whether it’s an insightful post reflecting on the past year, or just simply retweeting memes as a way to cope. For others, it might be a good time to turn off notifications and set harsher limits on your screentime if you feel like getting news about today is going to make you upset.

And even though other’s coping mechanisms online aren’t the same for others, and may in fact be negative to others, it’s important to remember that we’re all in this together.


How are you feeling today? If you want to discuss your experiences, what were you feeling this time last year? What would you tell your past self about how things are now at this stage in the pandemic?

Controlling Emotions

March 8, 2021 in Be Positive

It’s impossible to be in control of our emotions all the time. After all, we’re only human, and we react to things in different ways as they happen, whether we want to or not. We may get overly excited about something we’re passionate about during a time when it’s probably not the most appropriate, or we might find ourselves getting a little too heated when someone insults someone close to us.

In moments when your mental health might not be the strongest, navigating and controlling your emotions can feel like a lost battle. It’s like you’re fighting with your mental illness to see who is in control over your brain and how you respond to things, and before you know it, you find yourself on edge and even the slightest inconvenience can have you bursting into tears.

Feeling like you don’t have control, especially over your emotions and reactions can be incredibly overwhelming, but it’s not impossible to take that control back.

The Internet has a few guides on how to control your emotions when they’re leaning on the more negative side. These include taking a deep breath and taking a moment to ground yourself before reacting to something, rewinding to see how you got to that feeling in the first place, and replacing negative thoughts with positive ones to redirect your mood.

And remember this: although it can feel like you’re fighting your mental illness over the remote control for your brain and emotions, you have the strength to take it back. No matter what, that remote will always end up back in your hand


Have you ever felt like you weren’t in control of your emotions? How did that feel? Do you have any advice on how to improve your mood or combating negative emotions?

Knowing When to Disengage Online

March 4, 2021 in Social Media Guide

Now is a sensitive time more than ever. Current events are revealing the issues with the systems that have been in place in our society for not just the past few years, but for decades and centuries, and how these issues have been affecting certain groups more than others. The Internet and social media giving platforms to experts and those who have been affected have made it easier for them to educate and tell others why things are so difficult and how drastic the effects are for minority groups. You most likely have seen these kinds of posts on Instagram and twitter presented in colorful graphics with easy and simple to read text and pictures. 

Despite how well-presented these posts are though, taking in all this information can be a lot to handle. As a result, emotions can get very intense and high too. These emotions could depend on who you are: if you are someone from a marginalized group, you may find yourself triggered and getting understandably angry at the posts telling you things that you already know and live through. For those who are educating themselves and learning about these issues, you may find yourself feeling guilty for not knowing about it before, and unsure about how to acknowledge the privilege you have and your own problematic behaviors in the past. All of this doesn’t even consider the retaliating posts by trolls or those who either ignore or promote harmful behaviors at the expense of others. Seeing these can heighten emotions even further, most likely leading to anger and wanting to fight back.

Like we discussed with doomscrolling, it’s so easy to stay on your device when things are bad, and when they affect you directly, you may feel like you have to stay on because it concerns you. However, engaging with negative emotions isn’t just bad for your mental health at that moment, but can even affect how you feel and interact with others offline as these feelings linger. So how do you know when to put the device away, or at least change what app you’re on when these feelings occur?

We’ve given several tips already about asking yourself questions about your social media habits and how they make you feel, but during those moments when you can start feeling those intense emotions surface, asking these questions may not be the most accessible thing to do. If you’re itching to fight back to someone’s post or comment or feel yourself physically reacting with something like a clenched fist or chest, the quickest thing you can try doing is just closing the app. By either hitting control-W it on your computer or swiping it away on your phone, immediately withdrawing yourself from the situation can give you some sort of space to breathe. If you’re in a place that’s safe to do so, even just physically letting go of your phone or throwing it (gently) somewhere soft like your bed can get that immediate aggression out. Having accounts or apps that are positive and that make you feel good on hand can also help, and you can switch over to them as well. For example, Instagram allows you to bookmark posts to save in an archive that you can then organize – you could save things you enjoy looking at there and see those instead. 

Although things are constantly stressful now, it’s still possible to have some sort of control over just how stressful these things can make you. The way we engage and look at things online is just one step in doing that.


What kind of content have you been seeing online recently? Do you follow positive accounts on your social media platforms? What advice do you have for when you feel yourself getting upset or angry with things online?

Looking Ahead

March 1, 2021 in Be Positive, COVID-19

You’ve probably seen a few posts and memes leading up to today pointing out that March is approaching once again. And now that it’s here, you might be experiencing a shock to your system upon realizing that it’s almost officially a year since “these unprecedented times” began. 

No matter what level you have been directly affected by the pandemic thus far, and no matter how much you’ve done your best to adapt to these new routines and lifestyles, you may be feeling some sort of negative feelings. This could be loss, frustration, or even just general sadness. Anniversaries of traumatic events can bring these emotions back to the surface, even if those events are still occurring.

It’s incredibly easy and completely understandable to get caught up in these sad and depressive emotions. The posts on social media, whether they’re memes joking about how March has the audacity to come back or the more serious posts reminding you of just how much loss and grief has occurred, are unlikely to be of much help either. And while it’s completely okay (and encouraged) to take a break from your routine (or the “new normal” routine) and feel the pain you may not have realized you were even feeling, it’s important to remember that there’s still a light at the end of the tunnel.

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Knowing that this isn’t forever, vaccines are about to become substantially more available, and the weather is getting warmer, thus allowing us to do way more activities safely are all things that we can look forward to and frankly be excited about. The future may not be 100% perfect, and you may be going through a hard time right now, whether it’s COVID-related or not, but even in the deepest pits of negativity, even in those realizations that things are still horribly the way they are, it’s important to remember that it doesn’t mean that the future is guaranteed to look like that too.


How are you feeling now that it’s March? What are things that you’re looking forward to? Is there any good news that you want to celebrate?

MindShift and CBT

February 26, 2021 in Educate Yourself, LINKS

Choosing a therapist can be confusing, and there are so many different types of therapy. A common practice style is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The goal of CBT is to help you identify thought patterns, examine how they affect behavior, and change the patterns that are not helping you. We’ve featured a comic that visually explains how CBT works before if you want more detail.

CBT tends to be fairly structured and is usually meant to tackle a specific problem for a limited amount of time. That being said, the therapy itself can be used to help with a variety of issues, specifically with anxiety and depression. It allows you to play an active role in your treatment and adopt new ways of thinking that you can use throughout your lifetime. CBT also tends to be worthwhile for people of all ages and can be adapted to fit different needs well.

Of course, the best way to start this type of therapy would be to see a therapist who specializes in CBT, but there are other great options for people who are looking to get some of the same benefits!

The MindShift CBT app allows you to find helpful techniques to relieve anxiety through guided practices and exercises. The app provides tips for quick, short-term relief from panic or worry, as well as mindfulness activities that range from guided meditation to journaling and goal setting. The link to download the app and learn more about the features it offers can be found here.

If you are interested in learning more about the different approaches to therapy that are particularly helpful for adolescents, you can learn more on the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry website.


Have you ever considered therapy? Are there any other types of therapy you would like to learn more about? What is your experience with CBT?

Social Media as an Archive

February 25, 2021 in Social Media Guide

Social media has been around for a really long time. You may have forgotten just how many accounts you have and on what kinds of websites you used to go on. Even sites like Club Penguin and random forums technically count as social media, because you interacted with others online. The Facebook account you used to use once upon a time is still there, even if it’s collecting dust, with all the old posts and photos you’ve forgotten that you posted.

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If you’re lucky (or unlucky) enough to remember your passwords to these accounts, you can login and go down a trip to memory lane. It doesn’t have to be limited to your old accounts either; Timehop will share old posts for you on sites like Facebook, while Twitter allows you to download your entire archive. If you’re patient, you can also scroll down your Instagram and Twitter profiles, or through your memories on Snapchat, and see things that you’ve posted from as recently as yesterday to even years ago.

There may be some benefits to having access to these old accounts. Some argue that nostalgia – and its social media counterparts through #TBTs, Timehop, and the downloadable archives – can be beneficial to mental health. Connecting and seeing older memories can help maintain your sense of identity and remind you that important parts of your personality have stayed the same over time, and can also spark optimism and inspiration about the future.

On the other hand, some experts say that nostalgia can be a rabbit hole that’s not worth going down into. If you were going through a particularly bad time, you may have posted about it, and rereading that can spark those negative emotions again. You can also be proud of the progress you’ve made since that time, or you may feel bad for how you felt back then, feeling a sense of loss.

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One person shared her experience with social media nostalgia. She shared her journey when she downloaded the archive for her 13-year-old Facebook account. It told her how many times she deactivated his profile, showed her old videos that she had deleted before uploading them, and the order that her friends were added. Despite the sadness she felt and how it all this information was only really useful for Facebook and advertisers, she also felt more human through the activity through the catching up she did.

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Looking at social media archives isn’t just a personal experience however. Social media has also made it easy to openly share these memories with everyone on your network. As a result, it’s really easy to feel like you experienced FOMO just by looking at posts of events that you never even knew about until that moment. Posting old memories is also a conscious choice, because while memories maintain your identity, sharing that with others can also be a way to tell your network that you’ve always been a certain way and you’re sticking to your brand. For example, if you post a lot about fashion, uploading an old photo of you as a child playing with your mom’s makeup tells people that you’ve always been into beauty and it therefore makes you look more legitimate and that’s how you want to come across.

Overall, nostalgia can have its positives (that’s why Happiness Jars are a great way to foster positivity), but it be a tricky topic to tackle, especially when doing so on social media. You can always share a #TBT or an old, possibly embarrassing post, whenever you feel like it, but getting trapped in the past can make it harder to grow for the future.


How do you feel about nostalgic posts online? Have you ever looked at your old posts on your profiles? If so, how did they make you feel? How do you feel when you see others’ old posts?

Stress and Anxiety with Dr. Krystal Lewis

February 23, 2021 in COVID-19, Educate Yourself

Stress and anxiety are terms we hear a lot in our daily lives, especially while living through such extreme circumstances, like the current pandemic, but how often do we see these topics broken down in a helpful way? In a 30-minute talk presented by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), Dr. Krystal Lewis, a licensed clinical psychologist, explains where stress and anxiety come from and some coping strategies.

Dr. Lewis begins by explaining the difference between stress and anxiety. Stress is your body’s response to an external cause and can be both good and bad. Stress in small doses is healthy and could help productivity or make you feel excited about something, but stress becomes bad when the impact is negative. Anxiety is when your body responds to stress, even without an external cause. Symptoms of anxiety range from mental (feelings of worry, inability to relax) to physical (headaches, muscle tension, difficulty sleeping).

Coping with anxiety can be challenging and often people try to help by saying things like “don’t worry, it will be okay.” While the sentiment is usually coming from a place of care, anxiety isn’t like a switch that can be flipped off. Dr. Lewis offers some practical advice for dealing with stress and anxiety, specifically during the COVID-19 pandemic. She recommends avoiding behaviors that could further the anxiety, like social isolation, excessive news-watching, or overeating. Next she suggests getting a routine established in order to provide normalcy. When so many of us are working, going to school, and socializing all within our homes, it is important to have habits that add structure back into your day.

Dr. Lewis explains, “once you’re aware of the anxiety, you can do certain things to disrupt the worrying and the anxious feelings that you experience. This means you can challenge anxious or irrational thoughts by reframing your worries… So you have a deadline, and you’re stressed about it. Instead of saying to yourself, ‘I should have already done this. They’ll think I’m incompetent. I can’t do anything right,’ catch yourself. [Instead] you can say, ‘I’m doing the best that I can. No one is perfect. Sometimes things might be late right now, and that’s okay’”.

Another helpful strategy is to take mini-breaks throughout the day and detach from the continual pressure of our normal routines. These can be moments of escape (watching a funny video, calling a loved one) or they can be moments of mindfulness (meditation, deep breathing, stretching). Lastly, Dr. Lewis explains how important it can be to ask for help. It’s okay to need support and it’s okay to say that you can’t solve all your own problems alone. Asking a friend, colleague, or family member is a great place to start, but if these problems cannot be solved or coping strategies are not helping, it can be a great idea to reach out to a professional.

We all struggle sometimes and fighting off stress and anxiety can be even harder than normal right now. Being gentle with ourselves and taking the time to cope with stress and anxiety are more important than ever.


Are you able to tell the difference between your stress versus your anxiety? What do you do to cope – especially this past year – when your anxiety acts up?