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Controlling Emotions

March 8, 2021 in Be Positive

It’s impossible to be in control of our emotions all the time. After all, we’re only human, and we react to things in different ways as they happen, whether we want to or not. We may get overly excited about something we’re passionate about during a time when it’s probably not the most appropriate, or we might find ourselves getting a little too heated when someone insults someone close to us.

In moments when your mental health might not be the strongest, navigating and controlling your emotions can feel like a lost battle. It’s like you’re fighting with your mental illness to see who is in control over your brain and how you respond to things, and before you know it, you find yourself on edge and even the slightest inconvenience can have you bursting into tears.

Feeling like you don’t have control, especially over your emotions and reactions can be incredibly overwhelming, but it’s not impossible to take that control back.

The Internet has a few guides on how to control your emotions when they’re leaning on the more negative side. These include taking a deep breath and taking a moment to ground yourself before reacting to something, rewinding to see how you got to that feeling in the first place, and replacing negative thoughts with positive ones to redirect your mood.

And remember this: although it can feel like you’re fighting your mental illness over the remote control for your brain and emotions, you have the strength to take it back. No matter what, that remote will always end up back in your hand. 

Have you ever felt like you weren’t in control of your emotions? How did that feel? Do you have any advice on how to improve your mood or combating negative emotions?

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Knowing When to Disengage Online

March 4, 2021 in Social Media Guide

Now is a sensitive time more than ever. Current events are revealing the issues with the systems that have been in place in our society for not just the past few years, but for decades and centuries, and how these issues have been affecting certain groups more than others. The Internet and social media giving platforms to experts and those who have been affected have made it easier for them to educate and tell others why things are so difficult and how drastic the effects are for minority groups. You most likely have seen these kinds of posts on Instagram and twitter presented in colorful graphics with easy and simple to read text and pictures. 

Despite how well-presented these posts are though, taking in all this information can be a lot to handle. As a result, emotions can get very intense and high too. These emotions could depend on who you are: if you are someone from a marginalized group, you may find yourself triggered and getting understandably angry at the posts telling you things that you already know and live through. For those who are educating themselves and learning about these issues, you may find yourself feeling guilty for not knowing about it before, and unsure about how to acknowledge the privilege you have and your own problematic behaviors in the past. All of this doesn’t even consider the retaliating posts by trolls or those who either ignore or promote harmful behaviors at the expense of others. Seeing these can heighten emotions even further, most likely leading to anger and wanting to fight back.

Like we discussed with doomscrolling, it’s so easy to stay on your device when things are bad, and when they affect you directly, you may feel like you have to stay on because it concerns you. However, engaging with negative emotions isn’t just bad for your mental health at that moment, but can even affect how you feel and interact with others offline as these feelings linger. So how do you know when to put the device away, or at least change what app you’re on when these feelings occur?

We’ve given several tips already about asking yourself questions about your social media habits and how they make you feel, but during those moments when you can start feeling those intense emotions surface, asking these questions may not be the most accessible thing to do. If you’re itching to fight back to someone’s post or comment or feel yourself physically reacting with something like a clenched fist or chest, the quickest thing you can try doing is just closing the app. By either hitting control-W it on your computer or swiping it away on your phone, immediately withdrawing yourself from the situation can give you some sort of space to breathe. If you’re in a place that’s safe to do so, even just physically letting go of your phone or throwing it (gently) somewhere soft like your bed can get that immediate aggression out. Having accounts or apps that are positive and that make you feel good on hand can also help, and you can switch over to them as well. For example, Instagram allows you to bookmark posts to save in an archive that you can then organize – you could save things you enjoy looking at there and see those instead. 

Although things are constantly stressful now, it’s still possible to have some sort of control over just how stressful these things can make you. The way we engage and look at things online is just one step in doing that.

What kind of content have you been seeing online recently? Do you follow positive accounts on your social media platforms? What advice do you have for when you feel yourself getting upset or angry with things online?

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Looking Ahead

March 1, 2021 in Be Positive, COVID-19

You’ve probably seen a few posts and memes leading up to today pointing out that March is approaching once again. And now that it’s here, you might be experiencing a shock to your system upon realizing that it’s almost officially a year since “these unprecedented times” began. 

No matter what level you have been directly affected by the pandemic thus far, and no matter how much you’ve done your best to adapt to these new routines and lifestyles, you may be feeling some sort of negative feelings. This could be loss, frustration, or even just general sadness. Anniversaries of traumatic events can bring these emotions back to the surface, even if those events are still occurring.

It’s incredibly easy and completely understandable to get caught up in these sad and depressive emotions. The posts on social media, whether they’re memes joking about how March has the audacity to come back or the more serious posts reminding you of just how much loss and grief has occurred, are unlikely to be of much help either. And while it’s completely okay (and encouraged) to take a break from your routine (or the “new normal” routine) and feel the pain you may not have realized you were even feeling, it’s important to remember that there’s still a light at the end of the tunnel.

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Knowing that this isn’t forever, vaccines are about to become substantially more available, and the weather is getting warmer, thus allowing us to do way more activities safely are all things that we can look forward to and frankly be excited about. The future may not be 100% perfect, and you may be going through a hard time right now, whether it’s COVID-related or not, but even in the deepest pits of negativity, even in those realizations that things are still horribly the way they are, it’s important to remember that it doesn’t mean that the future is guaranteed to look like that too.

How are you feeling now that it’s March? What are things that you’re looking forward to? Is there any good news that you want to celebrate?

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MindShift and CBT

February 26, 2021 in Educate Yourself, LINKS

MindShift App

Choosing a therapist can be confusing, and there are so many different types of therapy. A common practice style is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The goal of CBT is to help you identify thought patterns, examine how they affect behavior, and change the patterns that are not helping you. We’ve featured a comic that visually explains how CBT works before if you want more detail.

CBT tends to be fairly structured and is usually meant to tackle a specific problem for a limited amount of time. That being said, the therapy itself can be used to help with a variety of issues, specifically with anxiety and depression. It allows you to play an active role in your treatment and adopt new ways of thinking that you can use throughout your lifetime. CBT also tends to be worthwhile for people of all ages and can be adapted to fit different needs well.

Of course, the best way to start this type of therapy would be to see a therapist who specializes in CBT, but there are other great options for people who are looking to get some of the same benefits!

The MindShift CBT app allows you to find helpful techniques to relieve anxiety through guided practices and exercises. The app provides tips for quick, short-term relief from panic or worry, as well as mindfulness activities that range from guided meditation to journaling and goal setting. The link to download the app and learn more about the features it offers can be found here.

If you are interested in learning more about the different approaches to therapy that are particularly helpful for adolescents, you can learn more on the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry website.

Have you ever considered therapy? Are there any other types of therapy you would like to learn more about? What is your experience with CBT?

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Social Media as an Archive

February 25, 2021 in Social Media Guide

Social media has been around for a really long time. You may have forgotten just how many accounts you have and on what kinds of websites you used to go on. Even sites like Club Penguin and random forums technically count as social media, because you interacted with others online. The Facebook account you used to use once upon a time is still there, even if it’s collecting dust, with all the old posts and photos you’ve forgotten that you posted.

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If you’re lucky (or unlucky) enough to remember your passwords to these accounts, you can login and go down a trip to memory lane. It doesn’t have to be limited to your old accounts either; Timehop will share old posts for you on sites like Facebook, while Twitter allows you to download your entire archive. If you’re patient, you can also scroll down your Instagram and Twitter profiles, or through your memories on Snapchat, and see things that you’ve posted from as recently as yesterday to even years ago.

There may be some benefits to having access to these old accounts. Some argue that nostalgia – and its social media counterparts through #TBTs, Timehop, and the downloadable archives – can be beneficial to mental health. Connecting and seeing older memories can help maintain your sense of identity and remind you that important parts of your personality have stayed the same over time, and can also spark optimism and inspiration about the future.

On the other hand, some experts say that nostalgia can be a rabbit hole that’s not worth going down into. If you were going through a particularly bad time, you may have posted about it, and rereading that can spark those negative emotions again. You can also be proud of the progress you’ve made since that time, or you may feel bad for how you felt back then, feeling a sense of loss.

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One person shared her experience with social media nostalgia. She shared her journey when she downloaded the archive for her 13-year-old Facebook account. It told her how many times she deactivated his profile, showed her old videos that she had deleted before uploading them, and the order that her friends were added. Despite the sadness she felt and how it all this information was only really useful for Facebook and advertisers, she also felt more human through the activity through the catching up she did.

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Looking at social media archives isn’t just a personal experience however. Social media has also made it easy to openly share these memories with everyone on your network. As a result, it’s really easy to feel like you experienced FOMO just by looking at posts of events that you never even knew about until that moment. Posting old memories is also a conscious choice, because while memories maintain your identity, sharing that with others can also be a way to tell your network that you’ve always been a certain way and you’re sticking to your brand. For example, if you post a lot about fashion, uploading an old photo of you as a child playing with your mom’s makeup tells people that you’ve always been into beauty and it therefore makes you look more legitimate and that’s how you want to come across.

Overall, nostalgia can have its positives (that’s why Happiness Jars are a great way to foster positivity), but it be a tricky topic to tackle, especially when doing so on social media. You can always share a #TBT or an old, possibly embarrassing post, whenever you feel like it, but getting trapped in the past can make it harder to grow for the future.

How do you feel about nostalgic posts online? Have you ever looked at your old posts on your profiles? If so, how did they make you feel? How do you feel when you see others’ old posts?

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Stress and Anxiety with Dr. Krystal Lewis

February 23, 2021 in COVID-19, Educate Yourself

Stress and anxiety are terms we hear a lot in our daily lives, especially while living through such extreme circumstances, like the current pandemic, but how often do we see these topics broken down in a helpful way? In a 30-minute talk presented by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), Dr. Krystal Lewis, a licensed clinical psychologist, explains where stress and anxiety come from and some coping strategies.

Dr. Lewis begins by explaining the difference between stress and anxiety. Stress is your body’s response to an external cause and can be both good and bad. Stress in small doses is healthy and could help productivity or make you feel excited about something, but stress becomes bad when the impact is negative. Anxiety is when your body responds to stress, even without an external cause. Symptoms of anxiety range from mental (feelings of worry, inability to relax) to physical (headaches, muscle tension, difficulty sleeping).

Coping with anxiety can be challenging and often people try to help by saying things like “don’t worry, it will be okay.” While the sentiment is usually coming from a place of care, anxiety isn’t like a switch that can be flipped off. Dr. Lewis offers some practical advice for dealing with stress and anxiety, specifically during the COVID-19 pandemic. She recommends avoiding behaviors that could further the anxiety, like social isolation, excessive news-watching, or overeating. Next she suggests getting a routine established in order to provide normalcy. When so many of us are working, going to school, and socializing all within our homes, it is important to have habits that add structure back into your day.

Dr. Lewis explains, “once you’re aware of the anxiety, you can do certain things to disrupt the worrying and the anxious feelings that you experience. This means you can challenge anxious or irrational thoughts by reframing your worries… So you have a deadline, and you’re stressed about it. Instead of saying to yourself, ‘I should have already done this. They’ll think I’m incompetent. I can’t do anything right,’ catch yourself. [Instead] you can say, ‘I’m doing the best that I can. No one is perfect. Sometimes things might be late right now, and that’s okay’”.

Another helpful strategy is to take mini-breaks throughout the day and detach from the continual pressure of our normal routines. These can be moments of escape (watching a funny video, calling a loved one) or they can be moments of mindfulness (meditation, deep breathing, stretching). Lastly, Dr. Lewis explains how important it can be to ask for help. It’s okay to need support and it’s okay to say that you can’t solve all your own problems alone. Asking a friend, colleague, or family member is a great place to start, but if these problems cannot be solved or coping strategies are not helping, it can be a great idea to reach out to a professional.

We all struggle sometimes and fighting off stress and anxiety can be even harder than normal right now. Being gentle with ourselves and taking the time to cope with stress and anxiety are more important than ever.

Are you able to tell the difference between your stress versus your anxiety? What do you do to cope – especially this past year – when your anxiety acts up?

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Finding a Therapist Who Relates to You

February 19, 2021 in LINKS

The mental health profession, unfortunately, lacks diversity. The American Psychological Association found that 86% of practitioners are white, with other races making up less than 5% each. In a nation that continues to not just get more diverse, but is also becoming more open in talking about mental health, it’s important for people of color to not just find, but have access to therapists who look like them (you can read more about the topic here).

But just because there aren’t that many therapists of color doesn’t mean that none exist whatsoever. Ayana was designed for this purpose. Founded by Eric Coly, Ayana is an app that allows minorities to get matched with therapists based on the latter’s experiences and identities. Ayana is not just limited to racially diverse therapists too, planning on covering therapists’ experiences and identities based on sexual orientation, class, gender identity, and ability. And because it can be hard to even have access to any therapist who seems like the best fit for you, Ayana gives the option for texting, calling, and video calling and addresses transportation, mobility, and scheduling challenges for those seeking help, which is especially useful now during lockdown. 

We wanted to give you a chance to put this on your radar if you’re a minority and feel that finding a therapist that shares your identities and relates to your culture is best for you. 

Do you identify as a minority? Do you consider your identity when looking, or when you were looking for a therapist? How do you think having a therapist who relates to your experiences can help you?

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Overanalyzing Social Media Posts

February 18, 2021 in Social Media Guide

Earlier this week, we mentioned the Britney Spears documentary that has sent social media in a frenzy. As we mentioned in our Monday post, many have used the documentary to reflect about how the culture at the time vilified, sexualized, and mocked a celebrity in her late teens and early 20s to the point that it likely contributed to the mental health issues that became the center of her celebrity status.

This time frame – the early 2000s – was when social media was starting to truly take off, giving people the ability to talk to whoever, about whatever, whenever. Many young people – especially young women – were coming of age during this time, and it was the norm to make fun of nearly everything about them, including mental health issues, especially because many thought it wouldn’t get back to the people being gossiped about. 

While this has changed significantly in just the past 15-20 years, particularly because of the changing conversations and stigmas around mental health, there is still a long way to go. Although everyone – celebrities included – have been open about their experiences and receive a lot of support, they can still be the subject of cruel jokes.

There is also a newer issue that has been coming up, and has been highlighted in response to the Britney documentary. Now that celebrities are on social media too, fans can have the tendency to analyze, nitpick and use posts as clues to come up with what they think is a larger narrative about what that celebrity is going through. For Britney, two fans even started a podcast where they would analyze and dissect every part of the singer’s social media page in an effort to put “puzzle pieces” together about her situation and wellbeing.

This is not just limited to celebrities however. Despite good intentions, we may have the tendency to look deeply into others’ social media posts for “hidden clues.” For the average person, this has a tendency to happen when content of theirs, especially about their wellbeing, goes viral. You may have also experienced this as well, especially if you find yourself with followers or friends you know who are aware of mental health issues you are experiencing. It’s understandable and okay to be more passive in expressing poor mental health, doing so in a way to subtly get out there that you want someone to reach out and help but are afraid of being too upfront, but some people reading yours and others’ content can take this too far.

As a reminder, social media is not a place where everyone’s profile is a mystery to solve. Although the intention may be good and we are all looking out for each other, it’s easy to get caught up and overthink, overanalyze, and overstep in other’s privacy. People may use social media as an outlet for their mental health, and some are more open than others about what they want to reveal, but personal lives are just that, personal.

Has anyone reached out to you because of something you posted on social media? Has anyone ever crossed your boundaries or assumed things based off of your social media posts?

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The Weight of Your Own Words

February 15, 2021 in Be Positive

If you’ve been on social media at all these past couple of weeks, you have most likely come across at least one person talking about the “Britney documentary.” Earlier this month, the New York Times released a documentary on Hulu about Britney Spears’ current situation and provides some background as to why she is there. For those who haven’t seen the documentary, Framing Britney Spears discusses how one of the biggest popstars in history has been in a legal battle with her father due to the conservator relationship they have. For the past few years, her father has been acting as her guardian, legally allowed to make all of her decisions for her because of her mental health.

We’ll be talking about how social media played a role in Britney’s mental health in the 2000s and how social media has been responding to young celebrities’ mental health, but we wanted to use today to focus on self-love, self-respect, and doing your best to hold onto the positive things you feel about yourself despite everyone around you trying to say otherwise. Britney really started gaining popularity when she was 17 and at the peak of her career until she was about 24. The entire time, she was criticized, talked down on, and insulted, most often by adults a lot older than her. Despite this, she was confident, stood her ground as best as she could, and did what she wanted because it made her happy.

It’s nearly impossible not to take to heart what others – and especially adults – negatively say about you. As human beings, we want to be liked by others and accepted, especially when you’re an adolescent and young adult. Because of this, we worry about what others think of us and deeply care for the approval of others, both of which are even more intense for those with anxiety and/or depression. But at the end of the day, it’s how you feel about yourself that truly matters most, and self-acceptance is much more important than needing to be accepted by others. 

While everything about Britney’s experiences are extreme – after all, she was a celebrity, constantly in the limelight, and the negative effects on her mental health was not just fueled by the media, but analyzed and made fun of by them – those who have seen the documentary have been pointing out how what people say about a young person can have immense, negative effects.

Taking the time to remember the positive things about you can’t prevent you from the harsh words of others, but it can still serve as a shield from the truly awful effects of what other people say about you. The truths you accept about yourself don’t just have to be negative, because realistically, there are plenty of positive things that are factually true about you too.

It’s not a bad thing to take pride in yourself and brag about yourself, especially since it can help protect you from the negativity of others too.

What are things that you like about yourself? Do you care about what others think about you? How do you try to avoid taking them to heart?

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Podcasts about Black Mental Health

February 12, 2021 in LINKS

Podcasts are everywhere these days, and that’s a good thing! Especially now, when stay-at-home orders are still in place and social distancing is still encouraged, podcasts can provide some sort of substitute for the busy background noise and conversations that you may be used to in your schools, a coffee shop, or large public places like malls. They can be educational and informative, explore topics you never even thought of before, and most of the time, have at least the smallest amount of much-needed humor. 

We wanted to highlight a few podcasts that focus on Black mental health. Some are hosted by Black therapists with professional experience, while others are hosted by those spreading awareness and sharing their own or other’s experiences. 

Therapy for Black Girls

Fireflies Unite

Celeste the Therapist

Black Mental Health Podcast

The Friend Zone

For those who aren’t Black, we invite you to listen to an episode from NPR’s 1A podcast that discusses the collective trauma Black Americans may experience due to past and current events. It doesn’t just give an explanation as to how mental health affects Black Americans differently, but also provides some suggestions about helping with coping.

You can check out this episode here.

Do you listen to podcasts? Have you ever listened to an episode or even a whole podcast dedicated to mental health? What benefits do you see in podcasts?

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