SOVA Blog

Therapist and Friend: Kati Morton

June 30, 2017 in LINKS

“A process, not perfection” -Kati Morton

Kati Morton is a licensed therapist that uses her YouTube channel to provide advice and support to subscribers.  Every week she posts new videos and answers questions about mental health.  Her videos are great resources to find correct information on mental illness.  Kati provides fun tips for improving mental health and working through every day challenges.

Did you check out her channel?  Did you have any favorite videos?  If so, which ones?  If you have any comments, please let us know!    

Also subscribe to our YouTube channel!    

The Accidental Bully: Has This Ever Happened To You?

June 29, 2017 in Social Media Guide

Have you ever heard of accidental bullying?  Accidental bullying is a term that was created by Sue Scheff.  It means when someone unintentionally (or not on purpose) hurts another person’s feelings.  To learn more about accidental bullying, read Sue’s article in HuffPost and watch the video below!

She thought it was silly and shared the joke with her friends.  But now it’s ruined a young man’s reputation.

Have you ever been an accidental bully? or accidentally bullied someone else?  

Summer Reading List

June 23, 2017 in LINKS

Summer is finally here, and for many this may mean months of sleeping late, hanging out with friends, vacationing, and continuous streaming of movies and television shows.  However, it can also mean finding a good book (or two) to read!  Plus, summer reading can also be beneficial!  It allows us to maintain structure and keep a pattern during the busy summer months.  Setting aside time to read is extremely important since keeping up with summer reading is needed and hugely beneficial for students.  For example, we would all expect our favorite athlete or musician to suffer if they didn’t practice for months!  Therefore, we have put together a list of suggested books to try reading this summer.  We encourage you to find the time to sit down with a good book and turn off all electronic devices.  Lastly, try looking into learning programs in your area.  Most public libraries, clubs or communities offer summer reading programs (or other educational activities) to students of all ages.

  1. I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson
  2. It’s Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini
  3. The 6 Most Important Decisions You’ll Ever Make: A Guide for Teens by Sean Covey

    Photo Credit: Florin Gorgan Flickr via Compfight cc

    Photo Credit: Florin Gorgan Flickr via Compfight cc

  4. The Healthy Coping Colouring Book and Journal: Creative Activities to Help Manage Stress, Anxiety and Other Big Feelings by Pooky Knightsmith
  5. The Girl Project by Kate Engelbrecht
  6. Be the One: Six True Stories of Teens Overcoming Hardship with Hope by Byron Pitt
  7. Wonder by RJ Palacio
  8. Start Where You Are: A Journal for Self-Exploration by Meera Lee Patel
  9. Depression: A Teen’s Guide to Survive and Thrive by Jacqueline Toner and Claire Freeland
  10. Fake Plastic Love by Kimberley Tait
  11. 52 Lists for Happiness: Weekly Journaling Inspiration for Positivity, Balance, and Joy by Moorea Seal
  12. Freaking Out: Real-life Stories About Anxiety by Polly Wells and Peter Mitchell
  13. My Life Undecided by Jessica Brody
  14. 101 Ways to Conquer Teen Anxiety: Simple Tips, Techniques and Strategies for Overcoming Anxiety, Worry and Panic Attacks by Thomas McDonagh and Patrick Hatcher
  15. Trouble in My Head: A Young Girl’s Fight with Depression by Mathilde Monaque
  16. Boy Meets Depression: Or Life Sucks and Then You Live by Kevin Breel
  17. YOU: The Owner’s Manual for Teens by Michael F. Roisen and Mehmet C. Oz
  18. All The Lives I Want: Essays About My Best Friends Who Happen To Be Famous Strangers by Alana Massey
  19. Startup by Doree Shafrir
  20. The Manifesto on How to be Interesting by Holly Bourne

For more book recommendations:

If you’re not keen on reading or plan on being in the car a lot this summer, try audiobooks (more recommendations here)!

Do you like to read during the summer?  Have you read any of the suggested books?  Do you have any book recommendations of your own?  We’d love to hear from you!

13 Reasons Why

June 21, 2017 in Educate Yourself

Trigger Warning: Discussion about Suicide

By now you’ve most likely heard about Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why (13RW). It is a very captivating show, but also raises questions about whether the creators did the right thing in the way they used a television show to talk about suicide and rape or sexual assault. The show is about a girl in high school (Hannah Baker) – who is bullied, sexually assaulted, and eventually commits suicide.  She leaves behind 13 tapes (or 13 reasons) as a sort of revenge to the people she thought wronged her and who were ultimately responsible for her decision to end her life. It is possible this show will shed light on some very difficult and important topics, but unfortunately, it also has the possibility to cause harm.

Photo Credit: Portal Dylan Minnette Flickr via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: Portal Dylan Minnette Flickr via Compfight cc

Why might 13 Reasons Why be harmful?:

  • We know that if teens are familiar with a lot of details or witness a suicide, this can lead to “copycat” behavior – the scenes in 13RW are very graphic – and there is report in Peru that this has unfortunately happened to a young man.
  • Suicide is not a straight forward subject – TV shows can fantasize life – and in 13RW a teen might get the idea that they can get revenge on others through suicide – but this is not real life.
  • The graphic scenes in 13RW of sexual assault can be very upsetting to someone who has been assaulted themselves and they may be re-traumatized (when a person relives a trauma and experiences their reaction again).
  • In 13RW, Hannah makes a last-ditch effort to talk to a counselor, who is extremely unhelpful – however, we know that in real life, guidance counselors receive special training on what to do when someone talks about suicide. In all professions, some people are not very good at their job – but even in these cases, there is always someone to go to for help. See our crisis links for more information on who to contact.

While 13RW might help raise awareness about suicide and sexual assault, at SOVA we feel the risks of copycat suicide (and other risks) are too high. If you get the chance to watch the follow-up episode, 13 Reasons Why: Beyond the Reasons, it does a good job at addressing some of the concerns we mentioned above.

Also, help should not be hard for viewers to find.  Vulnerable adolescents and young adults may need additional support and resources after watching the show.  They are encouraged to reach out to any trusted adult such as a parent, counselor, teacher, or doctor.  There is also a list of adolescent health providers on the Society for Adolescent Health and Medicine’s website.  Lastly, crisis hotline numbers can be found by clicking here.

Have you watched the series? What are your thoughts? If you have any questions or comments about the subject of today’s blog post, please let us know!  We’d love to hear from you!

Power of the Wonder Woman Stance

June 19, 2017 in Be Positive

Photo Credit: Lα Ollgα Flickr via Compfight cc

Picture this: a thirty-something woman in business-casual attire standing with her hands on her hips, feet spread slightly more than shoulder-width apart, chest puffed out, chin up, flashing a fantastic grin, her hair blowing just perfectly (okay maybe not the last one) in a bathroom stall.

What?

Research has shown than assuming one of these “power poses” for a few minutes can boost self-esteem.  A TED Talk by Amy Cuddy, social psychologist, argues that “power posing” — or standing in a confident position (regardless of how we feel) — can increase confidence, and might impact our success.

See the TED talk here: Your body language shapes who you are

Try it!  Did it make you feel more confident? Share with us in the comment section below!

Internet Stranger

June 15, 2017 in Social Media Guide

Although the internet can be a great place to learn, connect, and meet people from all over the world, it is important to watch for warning signs and take preventative measures.

Photo Credit: Akshay Hallur Flickr via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: Akshay Hallur Flickr via Compfight cc

  • Never give out personal or identifying information to people you don’t know, especially if they are persistent
  • Always be careful about things you say or pictures you post, because you never know who is on the other end
  • Never give out your passwords
  • Try “googling” yourself to see what comes up. Is there any identifiable information tied to your name.  For example, where you go to school, home address, or a phone number? If so, you may need to contact the owner or manager of the site to take it down.

We would love to hear your advice about interacting with strangers on the internet! Let us know in the comments.

Asking questions about your health

June 14, 2017 in Educate Yourself

Being a young person is full of changes, and some of these changes may lead you to having questions about your health.

You might wonder whether the things you’re feeling, thinking or experiencing physically are normal.  Oftentimes to get answers to the questions we have, we search the Internet.  It’s nice because it’s so convenient and fast.  Also you don’t have to share with anyone what you’re looking up – so no embarrassment! Right?

But do you really find the answers you’re looking for?  Here’s an example of when using the Internet to look for answers can go wrong. Let’s say you feel a lump on your neck.  Maybe there was a Dr. Oz episode about diagnosing tumors early.  You begin to wonder if it’s a tumor. You look it up online and see all kinds of possible scary cancers!  Keeping these thoughts and online research to yourself can make you really stressed!  The fortunate truth is most young people who find a lump on their neck will not have cancer.  So how do you get your health questions answered accurately without getting stressed out?

Photo Credit: irfanherdyato Flickr via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: irfanherdyato Flickr via Compfight cc

You should know that a trusted adult can be more helpful – they most likely have had similar experiences and can help you think it through – and if they don’t know the answer, you can always talk to your doctor or a health professional. Here’s some advice about how to talk to adults about your health!

Also as teenagers get older, it can be important to begin having some independence in regards to your health.  Try talking to your parents about becoming more independent during your doctor visits.  Listed below are a few steps from the University of Michigan on how teenagers can become more independent during their checkups:

  • Before an appointment write down any health problems or questions you have.
  • Upon arriving at a doctor’s visit, check yourself in at the registration desk and complete the forms to the best of your ability.
  • During the visit, speak with your doctor directly and ask any questions.
  • Ask for time alone with the doctor without your parent in the room.

Do you have any other suggestions or stories about talking to a trusted adult or medical professional about your health or about becoming more health independent?  We would love to hear!

What is Anxiety?

June 13, 2017 in Educate Yourself

Is anxiety a real thing? Or just something people say when they are stressed?

Photo Credit: Tom Simpson Flickr via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: Tom Simpson Flickr via Compfight cc

Everyone can get stressed out or nervous when it’s their first time trying something new, or they are getting ready for something important – like studying for a test or going on a big trip.

These kinds of feelings – excess worry – become a problem when they get in the way of living the life you want to live.

Ask yourself:

Does worrying make you…

  • Avoid people or places?
    • Like getting together with friends?
    • Going to a new place?
    • Or even going to school?
  • Avoid trying new things?
    • Like learning how to drive?
    • Or trying a new sport/job/activity?

Do signs of stress show up in your body? For example…

  • Breathing fast
  • Having belly pain or feeling nauseous
  • Getting headaches
  • Trouble falling or staying asleep
  • Or even having a panic attack with chest pain, trouble breathing, and feeling like the world is going to end?

These symptoms may be a sign that anxiety is getting in the way of you being who you want to be. The awesome news is we can retrain our brains to not feel this way. A lot of people who feel depressed also feel anxious – and a lot of the same treatments can help with both. Take a look for some more information about treatment and then talk to your doctor about what might work for you.

If you have anxiety and got better with treatment and you feel comfortable sharing – let us know a little about what worked for you below!

Social media: reflect back

June 8, 2017 in Social Media Guide

Photo Credit: The Open University (OU) Flickr via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: The Open University (OU) Flickr via Compfight cc

Have you noticed that sometimes after looking at social media, you feel worse?

Sometimes it is fun to look at social media, but other times, it can worsen your mood.

It can be different for different people, but some of us feel worse when we:

  • See pictures of friends getting together without us
  • Are having a bad day, yet everyone else’s posts seem to look like they are having the best day ever!
  • See someone’s post about something we don’t like or agree with

When you are in an ‘okay’ mood – try this:

  1. Look at your social media sites and posts you’ve already looked at
  2. Write down what posts would annoy you or make you feel bad
  3. Think about what is the same between those posts

Next time when you look at it – notice if you are seeing the things that make you feel worse – and either skip over them, read our post about how to customize your social media, or just stop looking at your phone or computer and do something that makes you feel good!

What kind of things have you noticed makes your mood worse on social media?

Talking with your parents

June 7, 2017 in Educate Yourself

Often as we get older our relationships begin to change, especially with our parents.  This can be very challenging.  For example, you might have been able to talk with your parents when you were younger, but now it feels so difficult.  Or the more your parent asks about what is going on in your life, the more you may want to keep to yourself.

Photo Credit: USDAgov Flickr via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: USDAgov Flickr via Compfight cc

However, it is often a good idea to confide in your parent (or any trusted adult).  Try reading these tips to help start opening back up to the adults in your life.

Remember that good communication takes time and practice, and can be very frustrating at times.  Take a break if you feel like you need one.  We promise this is a confusing time for your parents as well!

Is it hard for you to communicate with your parents?  Have you ever tried any of the tips from the article?  Any other suggestions?  We would love to hear from you!