SOVA Blog

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Being Left on Read

August 1, 2019 in Social Media Guide

Being left on read can make us feel invisible.

Being left on read can make us feel invisible.

We’ve all done it: we get a message from someone and whether we intend to or not, never respond. We’ve all had the opposite done to us too: we send a message to someone, and they just never respond.

Being left on read (or being ignored when sending a message to someone) isn’t exactly the best feeling. Tons of thoughts and questions can go through our head. Did I say the wrong thing? Should I have worded this better? Am I being annoying? Do they not want to talk to me? Do they even like me?

The way we feel and the questions we ask ourselves are justified and aren’t uncommon. After the moment passes, you may think you were being dramatic and might beat yourself up over it, but studies have shown that we take it really personally if we’re ignored online. If we don’t get any interaction, especially an immediate reaction, we think we’re being excluded, feel invisible, and seen as less important than others if we see that person interacting somewhere else online. Those who feel ignored or “shunned” online – or in this case, left on read – are more likely to experience lower self-esteem and self-control.

The debate about whether you have read receipts on or not can make this a little more complicated too.

Having your read receipt messages turned on (whether it be on Facebook Messenger, iMessage, Instagram DMs, and so on) means you know the exact time someone had seen your text. That knowledge can mean that you can hold the person accountable for not responding to you, but it can also contribute to a spiral of thoughts as to why they aren’t responding to you because they definitely saw what you had to say.

Those who don’t have read receipts turned on don’t have a guaranteed answer as to whether or not someone saw their message. Even if there is no confirmation that the person who sent the message to saw it, that uncertainty can still make you begin to jump to conclusions.

So regardless if you have read receipts on or off, your mind can start to spiral about what the other person is doing and thinking if they’re not responding to you (and this feeling can be taken to the next level if you have social anxiety, where you have the fear of people constantly judging you and that you’re definitely going to be rejected by everyone). Adolescents are at an age where they seek instant gratification and want things as soon as possible, and social media fuels that because people are always connected all the time.

That isn’t always true, however. While our brains may trick us into thinking of every possible situation where the person we’re talking to isn’t responding to us because they don’t like us, there’s also the chance that they’re simply not on their phones. They may be busy with something else, their battery may have run out, or they might have just forgotten. The other person may also be struggling with something – those dealing with a depressive episode, for example, may not have the energy to respond after reading.

Then there’s the unfortunate truth that you were left on read because the person didn’t want to respond. While this feeling sucks, it’s not the only possibility. We’re more likely to consider the negative options as to why we’re not getting a response, but it’s important to remember that these aren’t the only explanations.

Do you often forget to respond to people online or over text? What’s your opinion on having read receipts turned on? How do you feel when you don’t get a response from someone?

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The Hunger-Depression Cycle

July 30, 2019 in Educate Yourself

callie-morgan-VM6iQeQB4DU-unsplashWe all feel some kind of way about food. You may have heard the phrase that some live to eat, while others eat to live. While it’s a necessity, some find pleasure in eating, or at the very least, taking photos of food that looks nice to post on social media.

Regardless about how you feel about food as a whole, how much and if you even eat can have an effect on our mood. You’ve probably already noticed this when you’re “hangry,” feeling extremely cranky when you haven’t eaten.

The way our bodies react and how much we think we need food can also be affected by depression. If you’re experiencing a depressive episode, you may find yourself unwilling or unmotivated to eat, even feeling like you’re not hungry despite not having eaten for an extended period of time. Even if there’s food in front of you, you may just simply not feel hungry, even if your body itself needs sustenance, and may only take a couple of bites at most before feeling too full. charles-D44HIk-qsvI-unsplash

A loss of appetite is usually associated as being one of the symptoms of depression. There isn’t much research as to why this is the case, but items like guilt and a lack of energy may be two explanations why. Depression may make you feel unmotivated and exhausted for no reason, and this lack of energy makes the simplest tasks feel impossible. One of those simple tasks can include eating. That hangry feeling you may have experienced before, though? Even if you don’t feel hungry, your body will start catching up when it realizes that it hasn’t had any food for a while and can result in you feeling cranky and grumpy. One study noticed that people’s moods drop when they experience hypoglycemia (or low blood sugar from a lack of glucose, the body’s main energy source), and the longer they experience that by continuing to not eat, they may be at risk for developing depression-like behaviors. 

synchronize-150123_1280Poor eating habits and poor moods can feed off each other and become a cycle. If you aren’t eating because of a loss of appetite, your mood will get worse, which can lead you to not wanting to eat, and so on.

Guilt can also play a factor in all of this too. If you miss a meal, you may feel bad that you couldn’t do one easy task like eating, and may ask yourself what the point is in trying to play catch up? This can contribute to that poor mood-poor eating cycle.

All of this gets more complex when taking eating disorders into account. Eating disorders are another type of mental illness, and like most mental illnesses, they don’t exist alone. Those coping with eating disorders often have other mental illnesses, including depression. Navigating and coping with eating disorders can conflict with the effects on appetite with depression, which can contribute to more guilt and a more toxic cycle between hunger and mood.annie-spratt-3TPCsHZp0OY-unsplash

During these sorts of situations, eating may be one of the last things you want to do. However, having food in your body – even if your brain is tricking you that you aren’t hungry when you haven’t eaten in a long time – is vital. Doing small things like keeping a granola bar or other snacks by you can help when you can’t bring yourself to get up, or if you’re able to, meal-prepping gives you the opportunity to organize and plan a routine, giving you something to not only look forward to, but makes food available to easily have on hand. At the very least, staying hydrated and keeping a water bottle with you can make the biggest difference too.

Have you ever been hangry? How is your appetite affected when you’re stressed or depressed? Do you have any advice about what to do if you don’t feel hungry but know you have to eat?

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The Power of “I Will”

July 29, 2019 in Be Positive

romain-vignes-ywqa9IZB-dU-unsplashWords carry meaning. This seems obvious, after all, we use words to communicate, and the way we phrase things and choose what and how we say them can make a big difference. This isn’t just limited to how we communicate with others, but how we talk to ourselves too.

Although there is still a lot of time left in the summer, you may have started to think about the upcoming season. Between school and classes starting and the weather (hopefully) changing and getting cooler, there’s a lot to consider and plan for. You may have started thinking about what goals you want to set for yourselves, whether they be academic, work-based, or personal.jacob-postuma-yaA1X2sPvz4-unsplash

This is where word choice comes in. You might not have a formal method of writing down and keeping your goals – they may be as simple as making a mental list as the countdown to autumn begins. The way we think about things and phrase them in our head can make a big difference, though. Think of it like stretching before going for a run. While the outcome is important and ultimately what you’re trying to achieve, you have to prepare beforehand and guarantee that you’re going to have a good outcome. It shows that you’re committed to the journey and ready for the long run. After all, the process is just as important as the result. 

aline-de-nadai-j6brni7fpvs-unsplashSaying things like “I will” instead of “I want to” or “I might be able to” sets your mind up to think of your outcome as something that is guaranteed to happen. That way, your goal is set in stone and you’re more prepared to work on it and are likely to be less pessimistic about it not happening. The other phrases sound weaker and make it seem like there’s only a chance of what you want to happen actually coming true, so you may not be as mentally motivated to go through with it.

Incorporating stronger phrases when goal-planning or thinking of things you want to happen for yourself is not just a tactic to use for positive thinking, but is also a motivational tool to make sure you get what you want and deserve.

What are some goals you have for yourself? Do you write them down or put them anywhere? How do you think the way you word them can change the outcome?

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Playing Puzzles for Stress Relief

July 26, 2019 in LINKS

dogukan-sahin-Q4KQWFKX0Gs-unsplashWe all have a tendency to turn to our phones when we’re bored. It could be when you’re waiting in the hallway or at your desk waiting for class to start, on public transportation, or just in bed killing time before sleeping. While this often tends to be us lingering on social media sites, there are tons of apps to explore, with some being more beneficial than others.

Most research on brain games often focuses on its impact on memory and performing everyday tasks, especially for those who are older, aging, and at-risk for dementia. However, playing brain games when you’re younger doesn’t just have to be an extremely early intervention to keep your mind sharp. Aside from the satisfying feeling of feeling smart by playing puzzles, brain games with their organizational and problem-solving elements trophy-1674911_1280can actually be a way of relaxing and serving as a form of stress relief.

Sometimes puzzles can seem infuriating and even stressful – timed games can make you feel pressured and anxious and that you have to meet a deadline, for example – but if they’re lowkey, low-stakes, and something you can quit and pick up at any time, it can be a calming activity. It can even feel rewarding when you finish a game or get really far, which might positively affect your self-esteem.

If you think that puzzles can be a meditative, helpful activity for you to try, or you already play puzzles as a way of relaxing and want some new options, check out the options below! All of them are free and there are options for Apple products, Android products, and online on a web browser if available.

sudokuSudoku (Apple/Android/Web) The game may seem complicated at first, but it’s pretty straightforward. One giant box is divided into nine grids, and you have to fill each space within each grid with a number between 1-9. The puzzle-solving aspect comes in because you can only htwo dotsave one of each number per row and column. The apps linked are a color-coded version too to make it easier on the eyes and make it feel more organized.

Two Dots (Apple/Android) Two Dots may sound familiar if you’ve ever played Dots (after all, it’s the sequel). Simply connect the dots to create as long of lines and squares as possible to get points and achieve the goals for each level. The more you play, the levels don’t just get more complicated, but they get more exciting and have a more adventurous aspect to them that go beyond just connecting dots. The backgrounds are also artistic, yet calming.

threesThrees! (Apple/Android) If you’re more logical and find numbers to be relaxing, this app might be the right fit for you. It’s similar to 2048 where you have to match up tiles that have the same number and add them up, continuing the pattern until you get as large of a number as possible. Threes! Makes it a little bit more difficult however, because you start out with 1s and 2s and can only add 1+2 together to make a new tile. Unfortunately, the free version only has limited number of plays (you can still get more if you watch ads, however).

Do you have any games on your phone? Are any of them brain games? Share your recommendations below!

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Do We Use Instagram to Seek Belonging?

July 25, 2019 in Social Media Guide

instagram-3814048_1280Because of the predictably social feature of social media, using these sites and apps have had an influence on how we interact with others and how we want others to see us. One recent study looked specifically at Instagram and researched just what drives us to interact with others on the app, focusing specifically on our desire to belong.

Humans naturally want to have a place to belong and be accepted by others. This is part of the belongingness theory. As explained by Baurmeister and Leary in the 90s, this theory states that belonging is not just a human desire, but a fundamental necessity. While the amount of interactions and people we want to be around can differ depending on who the person is, everyone needs some sort positive human interaction and have some sort of stable relationship to have a higher self-esteem and better social and psychological functioning.

Compared to other social networking sites, Instagram doesn’t give as many opportunities to directly interact with others. After all, Instagram is a photo-sharing site: you’re most likely just using it to scroll, see an image you think is funny or interesting, double-tapping to like it, and moving on. Sites like twitter are driven by short text communication, and while it’s also an image based site because of its videos, YouTube’s comment section is infamous. 

That doesn’t mean interacting is more difficult on Instagram, however. You can comment on people’s posts, reply to their stories, and of course, communicate privately through direct messaging. The study kept all of this in mind, but wanted to look at the more basic ways of interacting too through what motivates us to even just like or publish a post, put something up on our story, or DM a post to someone without any context.instagram-3814047_1280

After conducting a survey among around 300 people across the world, the study found that the more a person wants to feel like they belong somewhere, the more likely they’ll engage in behaviors that will make them feel like they’re wanted and accepted. This is where Instagram comes in: it’s a low-pressure, easy-to-use social media site where you don’t need to feel responsible for constantly creating content for people to approve of, and if you want to feel some sort of belonging and start some sort of conversation, all you really need to do is simply send an emoji in response to someone’s story.

social-media-2457842_1920While the study found that seeking belonging is a motivating factor for people to use Instagram, they also found that people don’t use the app for social support. The simplicity and bare minimum socializing aspect is helpful for basic communication and feeling like you belong somewhere when someone responds to you, even if it’s just another emoji, but that can also make it more difficult to find support. People aren’t likely to post or share items about feeling vulnerable or seeking support, and it can feel awkward or uncomfortable to reply to someone who does.

Everyone has different reasons for using Instagram, but compared to other social media sites, you might find that if you want just the smallest amount of social interaction to fulfill the basic human need of belonging, sending a “?” to a meme someone shared on their story might do the trick.

Do you interact with others a lot on Instagram? Do you feel like you’re more likely to interact with people you aren’t as close with on it because it’s easier? How does interacting with others on Instagram make you feel?

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When Students Take Action for Mental Health

July 24, 2019 in Educate Yourself

Teenagers and adolescents have well noticed that their generation’s mental health and wellbeing is a priority, saying that they feel that mental illness is the biggest problem among their peers. 

You probably well know by now that school is one of the major stressors for adolescents, including but not limited to the pressures and expectations that come with the multiple joshua-hoehne-CAokgx1GGKE-unsplashassignments, clubs, tests, and even socializing heightening depressive and anxiety symptoms. 

Researchers and experts have proposed that changes in school schedules could help make a positive difference when it comes to school environment, and by extension, an adolescent’s mental health. Some have discussed the benefits of taking a mental health day and it being treated with the same legitimacy if you had something physical like the stomach flu, while others have talked about how starting school later in the day instead of at 7AM is healthier for adolescents mentally and can lead to improved school performance.

wesley-tingey-9z9fxr_7Z-k-unsplashNot many schools have adapted these kinds of policies though, despite all the research that has occurred over the past few years. There hasn’t been any exact reason why schools haven’t changed, but students are now taking action in response to this problem. Recently, some high schoolers in Oregon (a state with above-average suicide rates) advocated for the state to give mental health days, and the governor passed legislation that allowed students curtis-thornton-8I37xRnjd8k-unsplashin Oregon to have up to five excused absences every three months if students are struggling mentally to the point that they can’t go to school or just need the day off to recover. 

Having mental health days can prevent things like burnout and severe anxiety, just to list a couple of items. While it may be easy for students to take advantage of, the teenagers behind this law say that those criticizing adolescents for doing this are missing the point: they explain that having the option will help students feel more comfortable in opening up about what they’re going through knowing they have the option to take a break without consequences and feeling like they’re being validated by their school.

While this isn’t the first piece of legislation to address mental health in high schools – Utah passed a similar law last year and Oregon also has Adi’s Act (named after a high school girl who committed suicide after coming out as transgender), which requires all the schools to develop suicide prevention policies, especially for LGBTQ and other at-risk groups – this is one of, if not the first piece of legislation for adolescent mental health that was developed by the targeted age group. It shows that teenagers and adolescents are recognizing that mental illness is a huge problem for their generation and can take the action into their own hands to get those in charge, whether it be in the school or the government, to recognize that too.

Does your school have mental health days? What do you think you, your peers, or high schoolers can do to advocate for mental health services in schools? If you’re in college, how do you think your school handles mental health issues for their students?

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When Does Teasing go Too Far?

July 23, 2019 in Educate Yourself

one-against-all-1744086_1920We talked last week about the effects of self-deprecating humor, or when you make jokes about the things about yourself that you consider to be negative. There’s also teasing and mocking, where you’re not the one making negative jokes about yourself, but it’s someone else saying these things about you to you. Of course, teasing is meant to be lighthearted and is distinctly different than bullying. At the surface, it’s not meant to be harmful or to make anyone directly feel bad, and is often meant to be done between people who trust each other and are comfortable around.

Like self-deprecating humor however, having things you don’t like about yourself being said out loud can have severe negative effects about how you view yourself, and these can resonate with you and affect your self-esteem. Being teased can take this to another level too: for example, you may not be aware of the quality that someone is teasing you about, and you might start to get self-conscious about it. How teasing is jordan-whitt-KQCXf_zvdaU-unsplashdone can also be subjective too – someone may think that they’re saying something lighthearted and joking towards you, but they may be saying it in a way that feels critical and a thinly-veiled way of telling you to change who you are.

Although teasing and joking with people is usually done between friends and peers, families are also likely to have this kind of camaraderie with each other. After all, your family are the people you spend the most time with and ideally comfortable being around. You know each other’s quirks and living habits, and it can be fun to make light of them. One study showed though that parents who tease their children – especially when they are kids – can drastically affect how that child grows up. Teasing to the point of belittling, criticizing, and putting the child down can affect how that child controls their emotions. These speech-833379_1280children are more likely to be angrier and become bully-victims, or bullies who are also bullied. All of these, naturally, can culminate in poor mental health.

So when is teasing too much teasing? At the end of the day, it depends on the person and how much they can tolerate how people talk to them. It can be fun to be silly with friends and family if you’re comfortable with them and joke about how someone smells or how they say a word a certain way. But it’s also important to not just be vocal when something someone says is upsetting, but also to listen when someone says that something you said, even if joking, hurt them. Just like teasing can be a sign of a relationship you’re comfortable in, so is good communication.

Do you tease or have you been teased? What do you think about teasing? When do you think teasing goes too far?

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An App to Consider: Medisafe

July 19, 2019 in LINKS

It can be hard to stick to a schedule. Things change and happen everyday and can throw everything off. It can be even harder to remember to stick to a schedule if you’re feeling overwhelmed, unwell, or depressed, making you likely to forget the more minor things in your schedule.

drug-icon-2316244_1280One of those more minor items in your schedule can be remembering to take medication, especially if you need to take them at a certain time in the day. Nearly half of Americans are taking at least one prescription drug, and 12.7% of people over 12 years old are on antidepressants, a number which has increased over the past 20 years. Researchers have also found that young people who take medication are most likely to take something for asthma, ADHD, and antibiotics. 

That’s where Medisafe comes in. Medisafe is an app created to help you maintain your medication adherence (a.k.a. making sure you stay committed to taking your medication on a consistent schedule). Not only does it have you enter all the medications you’re taking (and lets you choose what the medicine looks like), but you can enter how much of the medication you have so it can remind you when you’re running low, and it also has you add the time of day you should be taking it so it can send you a notification to remind you. The app has a wide database of medications, so it can also warn you if you shouldn’t be taking two medications together, lets you know what you shouldn’t be taking while on this medication (such as alcohol), and gives you notes like if you should be taking that medication with food.

The app of course isn’t limited for those taking antidepressants, but it can be particularly useful if you’re on them during those moments when doing even bell-1096280_1280the simplest task can seem impossible. If you’re experiencing a depressive episode, you may not have the energy to take your antidepressants, and can find that ignoring the notification from your app is really easy, but Medisafe also has the option to add family members or close ones so that they also receive a notification if you miss a dosage. This can be useful if you’re not feeling well, because these people can provide a support system in reminding you how important it is to take that medication.

If you’re taking medication for anything and find that organization and maintaining a schedule helps clear your mind and makes things easier for you, then Medisafe may be an app that you can incorporate into your daily routine.

Do you take medication? If so, do you find it difficult to remember to take it when you need to?

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Is Your Phone Causing You to Grow Horns?

July 18, 2019 in Social Media Guide

The short answer: no.

The longer answer:

You may have seen a recent news story talking about how researchers in Australia noticed that young people might be developing tiny bone-spikes at the back of their head, theorizing it may be due to young people looking down at their phones and tablets frequently. While all of this is skulls-2028285_1280hypothetical, a lot of news websites ran with the story, worrying that smartphones were to blame for horns being the next big physical feature in human evolution. These reports line up with the overall storyline that social media and technology is extremely damaging for youth, affecting them mentally, socially, and now, potentially physically.

But just as quickly as the story spread, those pointing out the flaws with the study were just as quick to respond. The study only looked at those who had been reporting neck pain to the point that they were seeing a chiropractor, so the results can’t be applied to every single human. The kind of analytical work done on the data was apparently also done in a way that lumped all the demographics like age and sex together, so any conclusions they made about these spikes can’t be directly connected to how old someone is.

No, you won't look like you belong in a Fall Out Boy music video.

No, you won’t look like you belong in a Fall Out Boy music video.

The researchers even clarified that they have done no specific research on the relationship between using phones and the phenomenon happening. This means that they have never tested to see if one group using their smartphones for an extended amount of time are more likely to develop these tiny spikes compared to those who don’t.

So based on all the news about the study, yes there might be a bone spur occurring in young people, but the data and research is flawed and thin, and there is no direct link between it and using technology.

Can you experience negative physical effects from looking down at your devices? Definitely – you may have experienced neck pain from looking down all the time (the more your head leans down, the more weight you’re putting onto it and the more you’re straining your neck muscles). Not only can this come from being on your phone frequently, but from things like looking down at your desk to take notes for class or looking down at your laptop to work on an essay. You can also experience neck pain from stress, which may also intensify when you’re looking down at something, whether it be anxiety over a post you made on social media or the essay you’re writing on your laptop.

shttefan-ggZuL3BTSJU-unsplashSo you can still look down at your phone if you’re trying to get a good food pic or shot of the ground for an Instagram story, and it’s still okay to crane your neck down and pretend to be texting someone if you’re trying to avoid an awkward encounter with an acquaintance on the street. But if you notice feeling pain on the back of your neck – whether it be from stress or from constantly looking down – it might help to reconsider how you use your phone and your posture to reduce the pain, but you don’t have to worry about it being the pain that comes with your horns growing in.

Have you seen the stories about phones and horns in young people? What did you think of it?

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The Struggle in Finding Treatment for POC

July 17, 2019 in Educate Yourself

olayinka-babalola-ZsuYINlZPcs-unsplashStigma towards mental health and mental illness has always been present, but the way that stigma is expressed and the level of stigma can depend on a variety of things. One of those ways is how stigma can differ among different races: posts here have covered how stigma acts as one of the barriers for people of color to seek treatment, including African-Americans, Asians, and Native Americans, for example.jae-park-0NREfZFVLE8-unsplash

Between the increase in mental health awareness and health literacy (especially among young people, who are more active online and in social justice causes), young people of color may feel more comfortable and open about seeking treatment. The process to not just find a therapist that fits them, but being able to afford one, can be a difficult journey, though.

this is a picture of a person sitting on a couch with his/her hands crossed. You cannot see the person's face.In a field where the majority of practitioners are white – 86% of psychologists are white, which is more than the US population at 62% – it can be hard not just for minority youth to find a therapist representative of their race, but one that can relate to the experience of being a racial minority in general.  While this may not be the case for all minority youth, some may feel hesitant about what their white therapist may think of them or feel like they have to translate their experiences to have their therapist understand exactly why they feel a certain way because their therapist never experienced those things themselves.

There’s also the argument that the way that therapy and mental health treatment is designed in the United States is specifically for white people. There has been a call for more culturally adapted treatments and more options for kinds of treatment: for example, one study saw that Asian-Americans’ brains responded more to problem-solving therapy (PST) compared to more traditional CBT. 

money-2558681_1920Even if minority youth find a therapist that they do like, it can be even more of a struggle once they take cost into account. People of color – African-Americans, Latinx people, and Native Americans in particular – are more likely to be at or below the poverty level (and significantly more likely in some states) in comparison to white people. People of color also have lower insurance coverage rates and have lower-tier levels of insurance that can make affording mental health treatment even more costly.

nesa-by-makers-7d4LREDSPyQ-unsplashSo what can be done to help people of color, minority youth specifically, get the treatment that they feel fits them the best at rates that they can afford? At the very least, young people of color becoming more vocal about their mental health could lead to an increase in those wanting to study psychology and enter the mental health field, thus diversifying the field. While that may seem like that’s farther down the line, it’s still a sign that things are changing.

If you identify as a POC, have you ever tried to seek treatment? What sorts of things do you look for when finding a therapist? What issues have you run into?

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