I have struggled with wanting to try to change the people I care about most. I pick up on this attribute when I am difficult on my siblings and family members. Wanting them to try harder, be better, make smarter choices, has always been cycling through my mind. It is difficult to see the people close to you hurt, stuck, or upset. Sometimes I feel like I know what steps they need to take to keep moving forward, but when they do not attempt what I suggest, or simply do nothing at all, I get upset. My mindset is that one must always keep moving forward because the world does not stop for one singular person. I understand that this is not how everyone’s brain works. People will not be able to think how I think or do what I do simply because I know it will help. Sometimes others need more time before they realize they can start to change or how to turn things around.
Thanksgiving means something different to everyone. I have plenty to be grateful for: to be surrounded by loved ones, have food on the table, and good health after living for two years in a pandemic. However, holidays often mean navigating difficult and emotional situations where no one comes out unscathed.
You may have heard of self-deprecating humor, or when you make jokes about the things about yourself that you consider to be negative. There’s also teasing and mocking, where you’re not the one making negative jokes about yourself, but it’s someone else saying these things about you to you.
Maybe this is just my family, but I come from a very traditional Italian/Greek household where my life is literally a spitting image of the family from My Big Fat Greek Wedding (no, seriously…). Despite my very young age, my different family members are CONSTANTLY asking me questions regarding my love life, and it is exhausting. Between my grandma asking me when I will meet a boy, to my mom asking if I have gone out on any dates yet, and even my sister asking why I don’t share information about my dating history and experiences!
This holiday season has already been one like no other. With family not allowed to leave their state and having older grandparents/family members who are more vulnerable, I sometimes get a rush of sadness that I will not be able to spend the holidays with all my family.
The holiday season this year looks very different for everyone, and in particular there may be people like myself dealing with the first holiday season without a loved one. In February, my grandpa passed away. With the pandemic hitting shortly after, I have struggled to come to terms with the reality of it and believe at times I haven’t been able to fully grieve having not spent any real time with my grandma or spent time in their home without my grandpa there.