SOVA Blog

Are You a Tulip, Orchid, or Dandelion?

May 25, 2021 in Educate Yourself

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You’ve probably heard of flower language before, where each plant and flower represents something. Some are pretty popular, like roses meaning love, some are obvious, like forget-me-nots, and others can be negative, like marigolds meaning grief.

Most of the time, these symbols give meaning in things like stories and tattoos, giving the image of the flowers a meaning behind it and giving it importance. While it doesn’t meet the artsy approach that flower language typically has, scientists and psychologists have created a bit of flower language of their own, comparing three types of flowers to each other and associating them with a type of behavior and reactions to situations.

This is known as the “orchid hypothesis,” and is used with children in particular. The hypothesis categorizes people into three categories based on how sensitive they are:

  • If someone is an orchid, they’re highly sensitive and have to be in the right environment, otherwise they’ll “wither.” Those who receive proper care and attention “thrive.”
  • Those who are dandelions are considered to be “tough” and can adapt to any situation, no matter where they are
  • Tulips fall somewhere in the middle, not “delicate” like orchids, but aren’t as “strong” as dandelions

Assigning someone to one of the flowers is not a diagnosis, but it is simply a way to describe and put someone in a category based on how they react to their environment based on their genetic makeup. There have been studies conducted to see where this link is established, such as one focusing on the CHRM2 gene specifically. CHRM2 is involved with brain functions like memory and learning, and is already associated with alcohol dependency, something that is put in the same group as childhood conduct disorders.

Another study looked to see if there was a relationship between sensitivity and other genes like DAT1, DRD2, and DRD4 (which control dopamine, or how we process reward and emotions and physical movements), MAOA (known as the “Warrior Gene” because of its link to aggression, and helps regulate serotonin and dopamine) , and 5-HTTLPR (this controls serotonin and has associations with mental illnesses like anxiety and depression).

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Being an orchid, tulip, or dandelion isn’t all just about the biology and if there is a genetic reason for these behaviors. Scientists and psychologists also use these classifications to predict if the child’s environment and upbringing can protect them from the barriers they may face if they were an orchid. For example, if an orchid child grew up in a home with a supportive family, they are less likely to show the more extreme signs of sensitivity. An orchid child growing up in a more negative environment, however, would be more vulnerable to having negative reactions when bad things happen. A dandelion child in a similar negative environment would be genetically “stronger” enough to handle bad situations, and therefore wouldn’t have those negative reactions, or their negative reactions wouldn’t be as extreme.

If there’s anything to take away from this hypothesis, however, is that being an orchid isn’t a bad thing, and does not mean that orchids have poor reactions to negative changes around them. The hypothesis assumes that these flower titles aren’t something that we can control and are based in our biology, but shows that our environment plays a huge difference in whether those qualities show or not.


Do you think you’re an orchid, dandelion, or tulip? Do you think that the flower you are can predict things like anxiety and depression?

The South Asian Sexual and Mental Health Alliance

May 21, 2021 in LINKS

For Asian American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) Month, we wanted to highlight the South Asian Sexual and Mental Health Alliance (SASMHA) today. The organization was developed to specifically provide resources and fight the cultural stigma that South Asian youths (who also referred to themselves as “desis”) face when it comes to various topics, including mental health.

The website has several features for young South Asians to explore, such as a podcast and workshops that they (or anyone!) may want to implement in their community spaces. Another feature includes several candid stories from South Asian youths about their mental health, from topics such as coping with COVID, eating disorders, and recovering from trauma. They also have compiled an extensive list of South Asian-specific mental health resources at both a national and local level.

Check out the website here!


Do you identify as South Asian? What stigmas do you face in your life about mental health and any other topics? How does this affect you?

Keeping Your Emotions in Check

May 20, 2021 in Social Media Guide

The Internet is both a blessing and a curse. It gives us access to any information from any part of the world, allows us to talk and develop relationships with people we may have otherwise never encountered offline, and is always, always available.

This constant access and ability to talk to anyone has its perks, but it also has the very high chances of us encountering people and information that will affect us negatively. Being able to go online whenever we want also means that we may encounter this when our emotions are already high, we’re already feeling vulnerable, or are experiencing the intense negative effects of mental illness, so when we run into people and things that we don’t like, our chances of acting out and engaging in negative interactions can increase. Most of our interactions on social media are text-based, so we don’t realize just how much our words can affect others when we lash out at them, because texting and typing is so much more difficult to interpret than face-to-face interaction. It can feel harsher, colder, and so much more meaner than we already feel, and we can’t delete or take back the things we send once they’re online. 

As we all know now, it’s impossible to avoid going online, especially this year. While difficult, it was still easier to go off the grid and take breaks before classes and work were all online. It was easier to put our phones on “do not disturb” when we just didn’t have the energy to talk to anyone, but this year, our only way of talking to people is over the phone and online. And in a year of bad and stressful news that constantly has us doomscrolling and refreshing, our likelihood of snapping is even higher.

So how do we avoid leaving a nasty comment on someone’s post, DM’ing someone to criticize them, or saying something that could be hurtful in the middle of an online class or meeting? There are many ways to take a step back and collect ourselves; closing your eyes, taking a couple of deep breaths, even turning off your video and muting yourself for a few seconds can give the opportunity to briefly calm down. If you’re already in a negative state and want to go on social media, ask yourself what you want to do online and what sites will help you best avoid content that you don’t want to see. These are just a couple of examples, but it’s important to keep in mind that when we’re already on edge, one single thing or comment can have us acting in a way that we might immediately regret.


Have you ever lashed out online? Have you ever been tempted to? What advice do you have for keeping your emotions in check when you encounter things you don’t like on social media?

How to Use Empathy

May 14, 2021 in LINKS

This video was based on a TED talk by Dr. Brené Brown. She is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent more than a decade studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame.


Have you been on either side of the hole? Have you ever climbed down with a friend?

When Should You Block Someone?

May 13, 2021 in Social Media Guide

We all want to have the best experience that we can on social media. Even if it seems that there’s a lot going at once online, from the 24/7 news cycle to the millions of accounts that we can encounter, we still have the ability to control our experience. We can choose who we want to follow, what topics and tags to track, and can go private so we can limit who we want to engage with.

Blocking doesn’t just give you the ability to completely hide someone’s account and their content from yours, but it prevents that person from ever having access to viewing and interacting with your account too. Everyone has their different reasons for wanting to block someone, but essentially, it’s a last-resort, final move to let someone else know that they do not have the right to be a presence in your online life (and by extension, your real life) and they are having a negative impact on you.

Most of the time, blocking is warranted and done for safety, security, and for a healthier state of mind. These include accounts that belong to an ex (especially ones who are toxic), companies or people who promote content that can trigger you (like dieting or #fitspo accounts), or accounts that spread messages about hate (especially ones that attack your identity). Blocking people who you know who have negatively impacted you, like through bullying, toxic friendships, and constant harassment and contact, can also help improve your well-being.

Blocking can be tricky though, especially when it comes to people you know. If the person finds out they’ve been blocked, for example, they may get upset, especially if they don’t think they should have been blocked. Some may see it as a sign of being passive-aggressive if there wasn’t a conversation about how both of you have been feeling, and it can escalate into conversations or arguments that can affect everyone negatively. Although more direct, blocking can be interpreted the same way people interpret being subtweeted: for example, people getting blocked can make them feel anxious or guilty.

Relationships in general can be hard to navigate, but social media and the power to indirectly tell someone who don’t want them around adds another element. There are many reasons to warrant blocking, but if the people you’re blocking are those you know and you feel comfortable talking to them about any issues that you are having, it’s worth trying to find a way talking through it first before hitting the “block” button.


Have you ever blocked any accounts? Did they ever belong to anyone you know? What do you think warrants a block?

Using Weighted Blankets to Stay Calm

May 10, 2021 in Be Positive

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It feels that there are a ton of products available recently to help your mental health, particularly with calming anxiety. Some use essential oils, or you may have heard of light lamps, and of course, the classic stress relief ball

Weighted blankets have started to become more popular recently. These products are a level up if you’re the type of person who finds comfort in burying yourself under the covers as a coping mechanism to calm down: they’re heavier versions of regular blankets ranging from 4 to 30 pounds specifically designed to help those with disorders just as anxiety, autism, and insomnia, with physicians recommending getting one that’s 10% of your body weight. The weight is evenly distributed and is meant to help “ground” the user – not in a way that traps them – but provides some sort of stability as they relax or sleep.

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The benefits of weighted blankets are mostly from people sharing anecdotes, or their personal stories about it, but some researchers have found that using a weighted blanket shows an increase in activity in people’s parasympathetic system (or the part of the nervous system that your body uses to rest and stay calm). Others have found that 78% of participants in their study preferred a weighted blankets as a calming mechanism and 63% reported lower anxiety. Users who have shared their experiences with weighted blankets include not just those experiencing anxiety, but PTSD as well, stating that it serves as a distraction for their brain.

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What’s important to keep in mind is that there hasn’t been as much research on the product and you should not use this if you have conditions such as sleep apnea or other sleep disorders, respiratory and/or circulation problems, or have a chronic health condition. Because of the weight and the material, weighted blankets can have a tendency to get too hot too, which may not be the best option during the summertime. It’s also not a cure-all: weighted blankets shouldn’t be used everyday nor as a substitute for therapy or medication.

If you have trouble sleeping at night due to anxiety or because of depression, need help coping help with anxiety or panic attacks, or just need something to help keep you calm when things get too overwhelming however, using a weighted blanket may be an option to consider.


Have you ever used a weighted blanket? How do you think they would be different than regular blankets? What other mechanisms have you used to relax and keep calm when you’re feeling overwhelmed?

Stay Hydrated!

May 7, 2021 in LINKS

Staying hydrated is not just important for your physical health, but can have substantial benefits for your mental health and your mood too. This is especially important now during the late spring and summer, where the heat and humidity can make it even easier to get dehydrated. The sluggishness of the upcoming summertime along with the lack of motivation that can come with mental illness symptoms can make it difficult to get enough water throughout the day, making the dehydration effects even worse.

If you’re someone who enjoys organizing and keeping track of your goals and habits, you may find yourself benefiting from apps that help you monitor your water-drinking habits too. There are a variety out there, such is the case of the endless app market. Some include cute animations and graphics to make the app more enjoyable, while some are more straightforward so you can log the amount you have drank and close it right away. Most apps are customizable in some sort of way too. Whatever you choose, we hope that it might help you build and sustain a new habit.

Plant Nanny

My Water

Aqualert


What are your water drinking habits like? What are other ways do you think you can get more water in? How do you feel when you’re dehydrated? Do you use apps to monitor any of your habits?

Using Social Media at Night

May 6, 2021 in Social Media Guide

It may be hard for some to remember the last time that they got a proper, full night’s sleep as we talk about naps and sleep this week. Schoolwork, jobs, and extracurricular activities are just a few things that can contribute to an adolescent’s hectic and busy schedule. Simply put, there aren’t enough hours in the day for people to do everything that they want, and they often sacrifice the time they should be using sleeping to get everything else done.

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Reports have shown that adolescents today are not getting enough sleep as they should be getting, which should be at least eight hours. It’s well known by know that there are many health risks associated with poor sleep, and irregular sleep patterns are also classified as symptoms for mental illnesses such as depression.

A common solution that experts recommend doing to change sleeping behaviors is to at least reduce, if not completely cut out technology as you start to get ready for bed. This often means  not using your computer in bed, physically keeping your phone away from you, and not exposing yourself to any screens.

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However, it’s not uncommon to wake up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. This is known as “nocturnal awakenings.” Depending on what stage of the sleep cycle that you disrupt when you wake up, it can be simple minutes to long, grueling hours before you fall back asleep. The causes for nocturnal awakenings can vary, but stress is cited as a major factor.

But what do people do when nocturnal awakenings happen? Realistically, most people, especially adolescents, don’t make an effort to keep their technology away from their bed. 1 in 5 adolescents routinely use their phone after waking up in the middle of the night, specifically to use social media. In the UK, nearly all of the adolescents who said they use their phone when they should be sleeping are on social media.

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One big reason? Adolescents feel that they may have missed out on something if they don’t check their phone. Notifications are also a reason that about 30 percent of adolescents wake up in the middle of the night. And even if it’s not the reason that they wake up, just seeing that they got a notification can keep adolescents up longer. Notifications and social media engagement influence the “reward system in our brains, and in adolescents, the pleasure and pain associated with rewards are even stronger. Seeing a notification can make us excited, because we don’t know what it’s going to be about, and going through them all to see which one is “good” makes us respond and use our phones longer.

Unfortunately, it’s easier said than done for people to stop using their phones before they go to bed. But when harmful sleeping patterns among adolescents continue to be a problem, making a cycle out of having trouble sleeping, staying asleep during the night, and taking too-long naps can have potentially long-term effects.


Do you keep your phone near you when you sleep? Do you find yourself waking up in the middle of the night and immediately go to check it? How do you think adolescents can realistically change these habits?

Walk-and-Talk Therapy

May 4, 2021 in Educate Yourself

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Given the benefits of walking outside on mental health, it seems like the natural next step (no pun intended) to take the self-care practice to a more professional level. Walk-and-talk therapy has professionals literally take their sessions outside, where they have the same conversations with their patients as they would regularly, but with the added benefit of (ideally) fresh air, movement, and a more relaxed environment.

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Walk-and-talk therapy is just that: walking and talking. After an initial consultation that’s done more traditionally indoors, walk-and-talk therapy sessions occur, of course, outside, going on trails, sidewalks, and are just like your regular walks you would have with your friends, but the conversations are focused on your well-being and mental health and completed with your therapist

Those who incorporate walk-and-talk therapy into their work feel that it’s particularly useful for teenagers. Starting therapy in general can be a nerve-wracking, even awkward process, but it seems like these feelings are on another level for adolescents (think about teenagers’ thoughts on mental health and their fears associated with seeking help, for example). Walking around can lift some of that initial discomfort; teens specifically can have trouble keeping still when sitting down, and moving around by walking can help them process their feelings more clearly

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You may also feel like you have to have something to say during sessions, which can lead to an awkward silence as you collect your thoughts or even try to come up with something to talk about, but walking around removes that, because both you and your therapist are doing something else by walking and taking in what’s going on outside. Walking outside also includes visuals that can help inspire ideas for you to talk about.

There is still a while to go in terms of the legitimacy of walk-and-talk therapy. No one can specialize in walk-and-talk therapy and it’s more so a type of practice that’s included in at least traditional cognitive behavioral therapy. There is little to no formal research on the combination of talk therapy and nature’s effect on mental health either, but at the very least, professionals have noticed a difference with their patients, and there is an increased interest in researching it. At the very least however, going outside during therapy sessions is another way to include mindfulness during the sessions itself, and can be safe option if you prefer seeing your therapist in person.

If you want to see it in practice, check out an example here!


Do you attend therapy? What’s the environment like during your sessions, and how do you think it affects you? What do you think about walk-and-talk therapy?

An App to Consider: Oak

April 30, 2021 in LINKS

There are a lot of benefits to deep breathing. Although the steps are incredibly simple (deep breath in, hold, breathe out, repeat), you can try different patterns and lengths of time, and may need some assistance with it. You may also want a source of some background noise instead of searching “calming sounds” online and hoping for the best.

Oak is just one of many apps available on your phone that you can download in order to get introduced to and practice meditating and deep breathing. The interface is simple: everything is listed on two pages and doesn’t require much scrolling.

The first page divides the types of meditating into three sessions: Meditate, Breathe, and Sleep. Although they’re self-explanatory, each comes with a little description, and choosing one of the 2-3 activities under each one will explain what that one helps with in more detail. For example, one of the Breathe activities has one that’s there to help you wake up, while one of the Sleep ones has a series of exercises over a longer period of time to help lull you to bed.

The time of each activity ranges and you can set how long you want them to be. The Meditate and Sleep ones are a little bit longer and let you choose the gender of the voice guiding you, and the Breathe exercises are a little bit shorter. The Meditate and Sleep ones also give you the choice of what background noises you want (if any), which includes different levels of rain, white noise, and a fireplace.

The second page tracks your progress. If sticking to a schedule or maintaining a routine can be overwhelming or stressful for you, you can easily ignore this part. However, you can look here to see your streaks and how many days in a row you’ve meditated, the longest streak you’ve had (if you want a record to beat), and how many minutes and sessions you’ve done that day and total. You can also see in real time how many others are using the app and have used it that day, which can help normalize the activity and make you feel a little less alone.

The app is free and doesn’t require an account. Unfortunately, it’s only available on the App Store, so if you have an iPhone, you can download it here.


Have you tried deep breathing or meditation? Would you use an app to help guide you? What other recommendations do you have?