SOVA Blog

by Moderator ★

Using Upbeat Music to Feel Better

August 30, 2021 in Be Positive

It can be easy to put on music that matches your mood when you’re not feeling your best. The best way to describe it is by thinking of the phrase “misery loves company,” or that having something (or someone) that feels just as bad as you are makes you feel slightly less alone. Every now and then, we just want songs to wallow in that we can relate to, whether it be about heartbreak, loneliness, sadness, or a combination of all three, or anything else on top of that. 

And although this is a completely valid way of coping, studies have found that listening to more upbeat, happier music can have a literal positive effect on your mood, especially when you’re listening to it with the intent of wanting to feel better. By listening to more positive sounding music and doing so because you want to improve your mood, you can actually find yourself feeling better, especially when doing so over a long period of time (the study found significant mood increases in two weeks, for example).

Of course, not all songs are created equal. Your tastes and what you consider to be good, positive mood music can be significantly different from someone else. Maybe your go-to happy songs are of the Disney variety, ones that induce nostalgia, ones that quite literally are celebrating happiness, or even ones that transcend language. Maybe you just like songs that have a good beat or are by artists you admire, or you can always refer to the many, many, curated playlists on the music platform of your choice.

We hope you try out or at least consider listening to more happy music, especially during times like these when the weather can feel extra dreary and the winter months can seem like they’re dragging. 

What do you consider to be songs that put you in a good mood? Do you feel different depending on the types of music that you listen to?

Tags: , , , 1 Comment »

by Moderator ★

Why Do We Use Retail Therapy as a Coping Mechanism?

August 26, 2021 in Social Media Guide

You’ve probably seen memes, tiktoks, and other kinds of posts on social media about how the best part of the day is when a package with something you ordered has finally arrived. There’s something incredibly satisfying about placing an order and tracking every single step of the delivery process before it arrives at your front door. Recently, these memes are often associated with something about mental health, whether it be placing an order “just to feel something,” or using that wait for your package to arrive as a reason to look forward to the future.

The concept of using shopping as a coping mechanism isn’t new. In the past, retail therapy was often associated with going to the mall or some store and grabbing something frivolous or outside someone’s budget that they buy on impulse. Phones and social media has made retail therapy even easier however, with things available with just a tap on the phone (and even easier, a double click on the side button that has your Apple Pay linked up). When the pandemic started last year, there was a huge spike in people shopping online, with many making their purchases impulsively.

There are several reasons why we turn to shopping – and especially online shopping – when we’re feeling down. One of the biggest reasons is a sense of control: when things like pandemics, mental illness, overwhelming schedules, and negative life and news events are surrounding people constantly, making purchases that they want and that they believe will make them happy is way to restore any lost control. Online shopping is also like a lottery machine; you never know what you’re going to find if you keep scrolling on commerce websites, and your brain is telling you to keep going just in case you find the thing that’s perfect for you to buy. One study has even found that retail therapy can help reduce sadness.

Retail therapy can be helpful and we don’t always need to try and justify purchases that make us happy, but when done excessively, it can quickly become an unhealthy coping mechanism. Companies are also aware that people turn to retail therapy, and can take others’ poor mental health as an opportunity to constantly push their products – especially self-care and wellness ones – on vulnerable consumers. Now that many social media platforms include many personalized ads automatically integrated on their feeds (think of how Instagram has been criticized lately for wanting to be more of a shop than a photo platform), the temptation to shop can be even harder to fight off. 

So if you want to reduce the number of times you online shop, but spend a lot of time on social media (especially when you’re depressed or anxious), and are constantly coming across personalized ads for things that are perfect for you to buy, what can you do? Again, it’s not that big of a deal to treat yourself every now and then, but it’s also up to you to determine just how long “every now and then” is. You can also see if you can explore alternatives to these items; for example, you can try making things yourself or see if someone is selling something similar secondhand. If you like having stricter rules in place, give yourself a small budget to spend each month for those times that you want to buy something that seems silly and useless online. Adblocks and turning off personalized ads can also go a long way too.

Do you do most of your shopping online? Do you find yourself buying things you don’t need? When do you find yourself doing them? Do you think you shop online as a coping mechanism?

Tags: , 1 Comment »

by Moderator ★

Is Being a Morning Person Better for You Mentally?

August 25, 2021 in Educate Yourself

You’ve likely heard that being a “morning person” can benefit one’s mental health significantly. You’ve probably seen a bunch of stories about how waking up with the and even before the sun helps people feel more accomplished, gets more done in the day, and feels healthier both mentally and physically. 

You may have tried becoming a morning person yourself, trying to squeeze in a workout, a full balanced breakfast, a time to journal, and meditation. You also probably have to wake up early to go to school, and maybe even earlier if you’re in a club or sport that requires you to be there before classes begin.

However, similar to the now debunked idea that less sleep = more time to be successfully productive, you actually don’t need to be a morning person to be productive and feel like you have everything together. What it really comes down to is understanding what’s best for your body and when your mind feels that it functions best. There are some people who do benefit from waking up early; for them, being a morning person means having control over what they want before their day officially begins and gives them a sense of accomplishment of having items on their to-do list already checked. Meanwhile, others may be at their peak in the middle of the day, or even in the middle of the night.

Unfortunately, because of the 9-5 work life and 7-2 school day, our culture favors those who wake up and function early, especially because those who function at other times are likely too exhausted because their body’s naturally preferred sleep cycle is so disrupted. But if you look around your coworkers and peers, most of them are likely too groggy, cranky, or about to go right back to sleep first thing in the morning.

So no, you don’t have to become a morning person if you want to have a well-rounded, productive, and healthy lifestyle. Although we still life in a 9-5 and 7-2 culture, those who benefit from being productive later in the day can still do so, but they just might have to do a little more work adapting and making sure that they can still get what they want done while still getting enough sleep.

Which brings us to our advice: whether you’re an early bird or night owl, try to do your best to establish a routine for when you want to be and feel your most productive. As long as you’re able to get 7-8 hours of sleep a night (and ideally waking up whenever you want to), you should be in good shape.  If you’re in college and are more productive later, try to schedule your classes for later in the day. The pandemic has made it easier for people to work remote, so those who can and live on the east coast, remote west coast jobs will allow you to have a schedule that starts later in the day too.

For more advice, click here!

Are you a morning person? Have you ever wanted to be a morning person, or have you trained yourself to be one? When do you find yourself to be the most productive?

Tags: , , , 1 Comment »

by Moderator ★

Queer Adolescents of Color

August 24, 2021 in Educate Yourself, LINKS

jiroe-526478-unsplash

QPOC, an acronym standing for “queer people of color,” are minorities in several ways. Not only are they racial minorities, but they are also members of the LGBTQ+ community. This intersectionality – the ways that things like discrimination and disadvantages overlap if you belong to more than one marginalized group – can be difficult, especially during adolescence.

Not only are these adolescents figuring out where they belong in their community and how much they want to show of their race and culture (think of code-switching, for example), but they are also trying to figure out their sexuality. The way they view sexuality and queerness can also be affected by their culture’s views on the topic, which may make it harder for them to come to terms with. One recent example of this is the controversy associated with Kevin Hart and the Oscars: he lost the hosting job because of his homophobic tweets, and while Ellen DeGeneres, a white lesbian, interviewed him about the topic, black queer people responded about how the situation is much different for them.

Because the rates of mental illness in racial minorities, LGBTQ+ people, and adolescents are alarmingly high, it’s almost not surprising to see that that QPOC youth have a high risk of being diagnosed with a mental illness as well. Unfortunately, because of the issues that come with intersectionality, it can be even more difficult to access treatment for reasons such as the potential higher stigma against mental illness and therapy, and the process of deciding who they would feel comfortable coming out to. As a whole, QPOC are also at high risk for items such as substance abuse, trauma, suicidal intention, and poor relationships with adults, as well as the threat of rejection, discrimination, and violence.

michele-de-paola-722838-unsplash

Fortunately, people are beginning to pay more attention to the needs of queer adolescents of color. Articles are discussing ways that clinicians from privileged spaces (i.e. white, cisgender, and straight) can keep their patients’ identities in mind and how to be mindful of a potentially drastic power dynamic, while others are giving attention to minority therapists and giving advice on how to find one. Groups and popular websites are creating spaces where queer youth of color can share their experiences and stories in order to let others know that they are not alone, as well as the forgotten histories of other QPOC. And of course, queer youths of color are making their voices known through social media.

Representation is also key in helping QPOC. Reports come out annually about how much minorities, such as women, POC, and LGBTQ+ people, are shown on TV shows and movies throughout that year. Most of these generally have an optimistic tone, but there doesn’t seem to be much reported about the overlap, such as lesbians of color. This is especially true for shows meant for tweens and teens, like the CW, where queer characters, especially women, are almost always white. Adolescents who identify as QPOC and watch shows that appeal to them are not likely to see themselves on screen, therefore making them feel even more invisible, as they may already have trouble fitting in with what is considered to be “normal” development patterns at adolescence.

If you are a QPOC, know someone who is one, or want to find out more resources, the National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network provides more information, including a directory of therapists who are QPOC, where you can learn more about how intersectionality affects them. 

Are you a QPOC? If you are one, how does your race, sexuality, and/or gender affect you? How do you think intersectionality, or belonging to more than one marginalized group, can affect one’s identity and mental health?

Tags: , , , , Comments Off on Queer Adolescents of Color

by Moderator ★

Practicing Reducing Screen Time

August 19, 2021 in Social Media Guide

Let’s face it: even though we know that spending too much time online can affect us negatively, from affecting our sleep to worsening existing symptoms of depression, cutting down the amount of time we spend on our screens, and especially our phones, is easier said than done. You may need to use your phone for multiple reasons, like scheduled FaceTimes with your best friend who lives across the country, or checking e-mails for school or work. And even though these are done for fun, there’s nothing wrong with relaxing with catching up on Instagram stories and spending a bit of time on TikTok.

However, there is such a thing as too much screen time. It can look different for everyone, and what is considered too much screen time can depend on what you think is affecting you the most negatively. For example, maybe you want to spend less time on Instagram because you keep seeing people posting their accomplishments that make you feel bad for yourself, or maybe you want to spend less time on Twitter because you think you’re posting too much about yourself and your day.

Whatever it is, it can be difficult taking those first few steps to cut down on something that’s such a deeply ingrained habit in your daily life. Going cold turkey can be nearly impossible, and you may be afraid of experiencing FOMO if you aren’t constantly on your most-used apps. To help you reduce your social media use, we’ve provided a few steps to begin:

First, think about which apps you use the most often or which ones you really feel like you can’t do without. You can check the specific stats on your Screen Time or Digital Wellbeing feature on your iPhone or Android, but you can also determine them using your own threshold. Your Twitter use may be the 5th most used app on your device, but if you feel like you need to constantly check it and personally feel like you use it the most, then you may want to prioritize that.

Second, if you haven’t done so already, disable notifications for that app. Most of your apps don’t need an immediate response right away, and if it takes you a few hours to get back to a DM, that’s totally fine.

Third, try setting your own reminders of when to check the app. If you feel like you need stricter rules, set a certain amount of time that you can scroll on the app. You can do both of these by setting alarms on your phone: for example, you can give yourself an alarm to check Instagram every two hours, and then set an alarm to stop looking 10 minutes after that. So set an alarm for 10AM and 10:10AM, 12PM and 12:10PM, and so on.

Here is when you might want to start setting up screen time limits. If you feel like none of the tips above have helped, you can start giving yourself harsher limits from your phone. That being said, you shouldn’t feel like you have to give yourself extreme limits: see how much time your phone is telling you that you spend on each app that day and start off by taking off 25% of it (AKA dividing that time by 4). So, if your phone is telling you that you usually spend about 2 hours a day on TikTok, try setting a limit of 1.5 hours per day. After a week, take off another ten minutes, then another ten minutes the next week, and so on.

Finally, always give yourself grace. There’s probably a reason why you’re always using that app and have trouble using it less, and part of that reason may be because it does make you happy and you enjoy using it! Phones and social media are a part of our daily lives, whether we like it or not, so if you’re not meeting your expectations and breaking your screen time rules, it’s not a big deal. Just try again and practice a little harder the next day.

What are your most used apps? Which apps do you want to use less? Why? What have you tried to reduce your screen time, and did they help?

Tags: , , , 1 Comment »

by Moderator ★

Navigating Things Out of Your Control

August 16, 2021 in Be Positive

Quite simply: it can be difficult processing a lot of the major news stories right now. In a world where news notifications flash on our phones a few times an hour and social media feeds and “for you” pages are either giving more details about said news or showing a constant stream of pessimistic memes, negative news is hard to avoid.

Throw all of this on top of life changes, transitions, and navigating one’s personal problems and issues day-by-day, it can be incredibly draining, and even triggering and debilitating to simply function, especially with mental illness.

“Focusing on what you can control” is advice easier said than done, and is often frequently given when people express feeling overwhelmed. In fact, it’s advice we’ve offered before too! And while this advice has shown to be useful, it can be hard to just consider organizing the chaos of news and personal issues that’s running through your head.

When everything seems to be going wrong – whether it’s to the world, happening in another country, to your friends, or just to you personally, our best advice is to zero in on much as possible to things that are mostly in control. For example, no one else likely uses your cell phone but you (and the same applies to devices like your laptop or tablet). You may report to a boss or have to follow teachers’ instructions, but if you feel that you can trust them or have a good relationship with them, you have some control (more than you may think!) to open up if you’re going through a difficult time.

Here are a couple of tips to get you started, even though you do not have to follow or limit yourself to these if they don’t fit your routine or personal approach to coping. We hope they can start off as a base however, and you can adjust them as you see fit.

  • Turn off ALL news notifications
  • Delete social media apps that are causing you stress off your phone temporarily – you can always log back in when you’re ready
  • Use your support system – like group chats, DMs, or just anyone you enjoy texting with – as you see fit. You can vent about what’s upsetting you, or even just start and lead a conversation about anything else about whatever you like.
  • Set up boundaries with those you have a good relationship with. Don’t be afraid to ask them to not talk about certain topics if they get brought up (and remember they have every right to set boundaries too)
  • Remember that outside your day-to-day life and personal activities, you literally can do almost nothing and you shouldn’t feel guilty or pressured to do anything about it. However, you may find that researching and donating for issues (if you are able) can give you a sense of control. 

How do you cope with negativity? Do you feel that bad news – whether it’s to you, someone else, or just in general – affects you severely? What do you do to help gain control?

Tags: , , 1 Comment »

by Moderator ★

How to Help Someone Through Social Media

August 12, 2021 in Social Media Guide

With more and more people opening up about their mental health online, you may find yourself thinking about a few things. You may feel proud of them for opening up about their struggles on a large platform, or you might feel comforted and feel less alone that someone you know also has struggles with their mental health. You might think about how social media is helping reduce the stigma about mental illness by giving many the opportunity to write about what they’re going through too.

And depending on what they’re opening up about, you may feel concerned for them. You might recognize and relate to the stuff that that person is writing, and know how terrible those feelings can be. You may also feel like they’re using wording that is alarming to you. But it’s already easy to overanalyze our every interaction and potential interaction when using social media already, so how do you reach out to someone to check in on them if you’re worried about them?

Unfortunately, most people are less likely to engage with negative posts, and are less likely to reach out because of the bystander effect (where they think that someone else is going to talk to that person, so they don’t need to). However, one of the best ways to approach these kinds of situations is to think about what you want people to do if you ever expressed that you’re struggling with your mental health. What do you want them to say? How would you want them to say it? What don’t you want them to say?

It may also feel awkward publicly commenting on someone’s post, especially if you aren’t close with them. Reaching out privately can go a long way – you don’t have to have a full conversation, but even just sending a DM expressing support and telling them that you hope things get better for them soon can have a powerful impact. If you’re comfortable, you can also tell them that you relate to what they’re going through so they feel less alone.

In more severe cases, it’s best to find someone close to that person and reach out to them to let them know that you’re concerned. Most social media sites also allow you to flag that post and report it stating that you think that person might be in harm.

Have you ever reached out to someone online after seeing something they posted that worried you? Were you close to that person? Would you reach out to someone on social media if they talked about their mental health?

Tags: , , , Comments Off on How to Help Someone Through Social Media

by Moderator ★

Can You be Extroverted and Have Social Anxiety?

August 11, 2021 in Educate Yourself

concert-2527495_1280

Our minds often give us images of certain types of people when we think about certain things. For example, we tend to think of those with anxiety to be by themselves, preferring to be alone and in the quiet. It can be easy and even confusing to separate introversion and social anxiety, since both include a preference of being alone and away from crowds. Even though there are significant differences, the assumption is that most people with social anxiety are also introverts, and that the two go hand in hand.

It’s important to remember though that those with disorders and illnesses do not have to have the same personality traits. While the idea of extroverts – those who thrive off of crowds, enjoy talking to large groups of people, and get their energy when they’re around others – also having social anxiety doesn’t seem to make sense, it’s something that can still happen. Being an extrovert is not a protective factor against anxiety, since anxiety is something that your mind can’t help but think about.

StockSnap_GL2I1BU9Y3

Extroverts with social anxiety have two major parts of themselves conflicting, but if you take a step back, you can see how the two can influence each other. Social anxiety often includes fears of having their anxiety be noticeable and facing criticism, and those who have these and are also extroverted can feel these fears to a larger degree. They like to be around people, but they also want to make sure that they are being accepted by them. Because they want to be accepted, their anxiety can make them afraid of the worst case scenarios and that people won’t actually like them, and will actually find their outgoing traits to be annoying.

Those with social anxiety (or other mental illnesses) who are also extroverts can also be afraid of admitting they have these issues, because people don’t think that this combination is possible. Because people expect extroverts to be social, lively, and loud, extroverts can feel that they have to be that way all the time, not just to meet the standards of others, but the image they have of themselves. One 24 year old woman goes into detail about her experience as someone with anxiety and depression, but considers herself to be an extrovert. She explains that her more extroverted traits, such as being loud, can come out because she uses it to try and make up her fears of being judged by others when in public.  

While there are images that we think of when we think about mental illness, they can still be stereotypes and damaging to not just those who meet that image, but those who “conflict” with it.

Are you an introvert or extrovert? How do you think that the stereotypes and stigmas about mental illness can affect those who don’t meet them on the outside, such as outgoing and extroverted people?

Tags: , , , 1 Comment »

by Moderator ★

Acknowledging the Good as They Occur

August 9, 2021 in Be Positive

We’ve talked about expressing and writing down gratitude plenty of times before. No matter how big and how small, being able to name anything positive can have an impact on your mental health and wellbeing. Whether it’s being able to acknowledge the good things at the end of the day or being able to look back and read them if you’re feeling down, remembering that there are always good things that can happen, even when it doesn’t feel like it and knowing there’s a light when things feel bleak can make the biggest difference.

However, it’s also important to acknowledge these good things as they’re happening. Even if you aren’t aware of it at the time, trying to recognize the good in that moment can help calm you down if you’re stressed or can perk up your mood when things feel bleak.

Recognizing the good could be anything. Are you comfortable where you are right now? Is there a smell around you that makes you happy, like your body wash or a lit candle? Are you watching a show or YouTube channel that you enjoy? It could even be that feeling of finally submitting an assignment and having that relief wash all over you. 

It’s important to know that moments in life, especially now, are rarely all amazing or all terrible, even though it can feel like it can only be one extreme or the other. It’s cliche, but knowing that there is a silver lining everywhere can be a powerful coping mechanism. Enjoy moments of bliss as they happen, because they can be found almost anywhere.

What are small things that bring you joy? How do you celebrate, or even acknowledge them?

Tags: , , , 1 Comment »

by Moderator ★

The Art and Harm of Subtweeting

August 5, 2021 in Social Media Guide

A8XB50N7G1

The art of subtweeting isn’t a particularly difficult one. It involves posting something on social media (regardless of its name being based off of Twitter) that’s most likely negative, most likely about someone you know, but always indirect. No names are mentioned, no handles are included, and the post is passive-aggressive, rarely specific, but hints that someone has offended the original poster. Think things like “I hope you remember what you did,” “Lol. Pathetic,” or maybe even “God, can you stop subtweeting?” Subtweets are supposed to vague, and once it’s out there, a mystery begins, where everyone who sees it begins to scramble and find out who the person is talking about.

Although subtweeting has become a common way of communicating on social media, this doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have its negative effects. Because of the mystery that surrounds it, it can cause anyone who’s looking at the post to worry that it’s them for even the briefest of seconds, even if they don’t have any direct relationship with the original poster. And then there are the people who actually know the original poster with an actual reason to be concerned that the post is about them. Subtweeting can cause guilt, increase anxiety, and make the audience feel that they’ve done something wrong, even if they don’t know the person in the first place. Though it isn’t direct, subtweeting can be classified as a form of cyberbullying, and can snowball into larger fights. People who think the post is about them can jump in, the original poster can eventually start getting specific, and the feed can become toxic.

However, people don’t think highly of those who subtweet, despite its frequency. A study has revealed that those who were shown a series of different kinds of tweets had a bad impression of the ones that were classified as subtweets. According to the study, this mostly stems from the fact that the content itself is hateful and that the vagueness is considered to be rude.

While it can feel cathartic at first, expressing on social media that someone has upset you without calling them out, the implications of it, both on you, the person, and your followers, can be negative. Overall, it’s best to avoid the drama on social media, and if someone has upset you, it may be better to speak to them personally.

What do you think of subtweets? Do you see them frequently on your feeds? Have you ever subtweeted? Have you ever felt that someone has subtweeted you?

Tags: , , , , Comments Off on The Art and Harm of Subtweeting