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Understanding our Strengths

March 9, 2022 in Educate Yourself

When we are feeling low, we can easily forget our strengths. We can grow so used to our positive qualities that we stop acknowledging them. Reminding ourselves of our strengths can help improve our self-esteem, boost our mood, and even remind us of ways to push through rough times.

So what are “strengths”? Strengths can mean a variety of things that we may not expect. They can be our personal attributes (like compassionate, thoughtful), our connections (valuable friendships or relationships), or even the resources we have within our reach. 

There are some questions we can ask ourselves to get us thinking about the traits we carry. Try journaling some responses to these questions to explore your own strengths!

  • What are things I’m good at?
  • What are compliments I’ve received?
  • What do I like about my appearance?
  • How have I helped others?
  • What are some things that make me unique?
  • What are challenges I’ve overcome?
  • What or who are some things I value most?

Once you get a list of your diverse strengths, try to think of how these have helped you in different situations. Some example questions include:

  • How have my strengths helped me in my relationships? How can I use my strengths to help in my relationships?
  • How have my strengths helped me in school/work? How can I use one or two of my strengths to help me in these areas?
  • What was a specific time that my strengths brought me joy, satisfaction, or inner peace?

What are some of your favorite strengths? What are some ways you have used your strengths? How might thinking about strengths help you in your day-to-day life?

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Thought Stopping

March 9, 2022 in Educate Yourself

Thought stopping is a skill that can be used to interrupt negative and anxious thoughts. The idea behind thought stopping is that we can replace our negative thoughts or worry thoughts with thoughts that are more neutral, or maybe even positive.

To use thought stopping, you first need to identify negative thoughts. Maybe you are worrying about your grade on an exam you took this morning. Maybe you are ruminating about a disagreement with a friend. Maybe you are wrapped up in negative thoughts about yourself or your appearance. Once you recognize these thoughts, use some kind of cue to stop them. Some examples of cues you can use are saying “stop,” snapping a rubber band on your wrist, or getting up and walking around. Once you have interrupted your negative thought, you can try replacing it with an alternative thought that is more neutral or positive. Some ways to do this are by reframing the thought (i.e., reframing “I can’t do this” to “this task is really difficult, but I have done hard things before”) or replacing the thought with positive self-talk (i.e., “I am proud of myself for working hard and trying my best”).

Thought stopping is not only a good way to interrupt negative thoughts, but it can also help you feel more in control of your thoughts and feelings.

While thought stopping can be helpful for many people, it does not work for everyone. For some people, actively trying to stop thoughts might cause your negative thoughts to rebound and come back even stronger than before. For others, it can create a sense of shame surrounding your negative thoughts. For people with severe intrusive thoughts, simply trying to stop the thoughts may not work at all. All of this is to say that coping skills are not one-size-fits-all, and that something that works for one person may not work for another. Try to keep this in mind if you choose to give thought stopping a try!

Do you use thought stopping? Will you give it a try? What are some other ways that you shut down negative thinking? Comment down below!

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Decatastrophizing

March 8, 2022 in Educate Yourself

Cognitive distortions describe patterns of thinking that skew from the reality of a situation in a negative way. We have talked about different types of cognitive distortions as well as the importance of challenging them before. Although commonly experienced, cognitive distortions stretched to their extremes contribute to psychopathology. 

One form of cognitive distortion is catastrophizing. Catastrophizing occurs when small problems or concerns are made massive and fully believed. For example, you may have done worse on an exam than you hoped, and you now think that the semester is ruined and you’re a failure. Another example is if your friend didn’t text you back, and now you think they hate you and you’re worthless. The key with catastrophizing (and most cognitive distortions) is that small, often ambiguous problems are stretched to their worst extremes, believed in, and wreak havoc on our mental health. 

Fortunately, we can stop catastrophizing in its tracks by asking ourselves some self-reflecting questions and challenging our skewed beliefs about what is happening in our lives. This paves the way for a more accurate, and less distressing, perception of reality. 

As part of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), you may work on decatastrophizing in the following ways. 

First, you want to ask yourself what you are worried about.

We can use the exam example above: you did worse than you hoped you would do, and you feel like the semester is ruined and you’re a failure. This is what you’re worried about. 

Next, consider the validity of this concern—is it true?

You want to look for supporting evidence here. This is not a matter of distorted worries and beliefs, but what’s actually happening. Did you do worse than you hoped, but still okay overall? How are your other classes going? Do you understand the material, or need help with it? Asking reality-probing questions like these cuts through our worries and reaches the truth of the matter. It is likely that doing worse on an exam once or even twice does not mean that your whole existence is a failure. 

Next, try a thought experiment

If looking for the evidence behind your skewed beliefs doesn’t suffice, you may do a thought experiment: your worry comes true, what’s the worst that could happen? Maybe you fail all your classes, waste a lot of money in college, and disappoint your family. Here you are indulging in the worst of your worries to see where they ultimately take you, and it’s often negative and distressing. Thought experiments like these help you to clarify your distorted thinking and see the negative and skewed outcomes of it.

Think about what happens if your worries come true

After considering the worst that could happen, consider what is most likely to happen if your worries came true. This helps bring you back to reality. It is more likely that doing worse on one exam does not mean that everything is going downhill. You will likely have multiple chances to redeem yourself, plenty of help to succeed, and people who care about your success no matter what happens. 

Finally, think of the chances that you’ll be okay, even if your worries come true

As a final way to cut through your catastrophizing anxiety, you may consider the chances that you’ll be okay if your worries came true. After doing poorly on an exam, you may think immediately that your world is ending. Maybe in a week you will still feel awful. But what about in a month? Or a year? Or five years? A lot can happen in that time and doing poorly on one exam will likely be irrelevant by then. You will likely find that, in time, you will be quite okay despite how badly you feel right now. 

Catastrophizing is a cognitive distortion that can cause a lot of trouble in our lives. It is vital to untwist our thinking to find greater peace in our minds. By questioning our thoughts and beliefs in the ways mentioned above, we will be less controlled by cognitive distortions and freer to be more fully ourselves despite temporary situations. 

What are your thoughts about catastrophizing and decatastrophizing? Can you think of other examples of catastrophizing and how you might challenge the cognitive distortion? Why is it important to question our thoughts and beliefs?

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A TIPP for Distress Tolerance

March 7, 2022 in Educate Yourself

Do you ever find yourself becoming overwhelmed with strong emotions and not knowing how to cope? TIPP skills are a great Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) tool to help you calm down in difficult moments by directly altering your body’s physiological state.

The T in TIPP stands for temperature. You can put your face in cold water or put ice packs on your face to cool down. Doing this can reduce your heart rate and help you cool down emotionally, too. (Note: Skip this step if you have cardiac risk. If you are unsure, speak to your doctor before trying out this skill!)

The I in TIPP stands for intense exercise. Bursts of intense exercise can help to calm down your body when you are feeling overwhelmed with emotions. Try getting out some of that built-up energy by running, lifting weights, playing a sport, dancing, doing jumping jacks, or taking a brisk walk around the block. You don’t have to do this for long – only about 10-15 minutes. Intense exercise can wear you down and help you regulate your emotions better.

The first P in TIPP stands for paced breathing. Concentrate on taking deep breaths and slowing your breathing down – ideally to about five to six breaths per minute. Try to breathe out more slowly than you breathe in (i.e., breathe in for four seconds and breathe out for six seconds). Doing this will help slow down your heart rate and help you feel calmer in the moment.

The second P in TIPP stands for progressive muscle relaxation. You can do this from a seated position or while laying down. Start at either the top or the bottom of your body and tighten your muscles for about five seconds before letting go. This helps to loosen up your muscles and feel more relaxed. Continue down (or up) your body, tightening and relaxing one group of muscles at a time.

TIPP skills can be a lifesaver in overwhelming moments. It is helpful to practice them at a time when you are feeling okay so that you will feel more comfortable and prepared to use them when you find yourself in distress.

Have you ever used TIPP skills during a hot moment? What other things have you found helpful when trying to calm yourself down?

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Box Breathing

March 4, 2022 in Educate Yourself

Box breathing, also known as square breathing, is a method of slow deep breathing that can help you feel calm and relaxed. Deep breathing has been shown to calm your nervous system and can help relieve stress. Additionally, box breathing involves slowly counting to four, which can help distract your mind from racing thoughts. Box breathing has been shown to increase mood, making it helpful for individuals with anxiety, depression, and other mental health struggles. It can also improve concentration and help you to feel more present in the moment.

Wondering how to get started with box breathing? Follow these easy steps:

  1. Sit up straight and keep your hands relaxed in your lap or by your side.
  2. Inhale slowly for 4 seconds (don’t count too fast!). Notice how your body feels as your lungs fill with air.
  3. Hold your breath for 4 seconds.
  4. Exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds.
  5. Hold again for 4 seconds.
  6. Repeat the cycle 4-5 times, or until you feel that you have calmed down.

This gif can help guide you: 

https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b8645f7266c07b084eb29c7/1570208020992-TRZCAX5P0A53CG0LS5AO/Box+breathing.gif

Box breathing can be a helpful tool for staying mindful in moments of distress. Consider giving it a try.

Do you think box breathing can help you? What other tools do you use to help yourself calm down?

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Understanding Our Values

March 3, 2022 in Educate Yourself

Understanding what values are and what we value can make a big difference in how we set goals. It can be difficult, though, to know what exactly a “value” is. Below is a list of some common values that you can rank from 1 to 10 as most to least important for you. 

Common Values:

Love
Wealth
Family
Morals
Success
Knowledge
Beauty
Power
Friends
Honesty
Humility
Loyalty
Reason
Independence
Stability		Spirituality
Achievement
Success
Fun
Freedom
Peace
Respect
Creativity
Safety
Relaxation
Recognition
Popularity
Openness
Wisdom
Variety

NOTE: This is not a final list, so if you see one on here that doesn’t fit for you, feel free to write in your own! Be sure to make this ranking personal to you as values can differ per person. 

If it is tricky thinking of your own values, imagine what the values of those around you might be. For example, what might your family values be vs. a famous person’s values?

It is 100% okay if your values aren’t the same as someone else’s, there are no right or wrong choices!

What are some values that you identify with? How have your values related to your goals?

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Nightmare Protocol

March 2, 2022 in Educate Yourself

We know that sleep is important for our health and improving our mood. However, nightmares can really disturb our sleep, leaving us feeling anxious, spooked, and tired. 

The Nightmare Protocol is a multi-step process to help deal with nightmares. This DBT technique is really helpful for re-occurring nightmares. The six steps are as follows:

In the morning/during the day…

  • First do something relaxing to get in a calm headspace. This could be some brief mindfulness, listening to upbeat/calming music, or even breathing techniques
  • Think of a less intense nightmare that you would like to work on. It is best to pick a nightmare that you feel like you can work on in that moment 

Ex: you slip on a banana peel during your big solo in the school play

  • Write down your chosen nightmare. Write down the details you can remember, as if you are writing down a story. You can also include notes on how you were feeling during certain parts of the nightmare.
  • Choose a different ending for your nightmare. Now that you have the details down, think of an alternative ending. What would be an ending that would feel good, or even neutral? This is a dream, so you can be as creative as possible (it can be extraordinary, like gaining a superpower!). NOTE: This change should happen BEFORE anything bad happens to anyone or anything in the nightmare. 

Ex: new ending could be as simple as not slipping on the banana peel, or instead of falling from slipping you do an impressive backflip and get a standing ovation

  • Now REWRITE your whole nightmare WITH THE CHANGES

At night and before bed…

  • REHARSE your changed nightmare and practice relaxation. Practice this nightmare with the new ending every night before bed, along with your favorite wind-down techniques. You can practice by reading through the new script or even visualizing the new ending. It is important to make this a part of your bedtime routine.

It also helps to practice this during the day too! 

Have you ever used the nightmare protocol? How might it be helpful with nightmares? What are some things that have helped in the past with nightmares?

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Body Neutrality vs. Body Positivity

March 1, 2022 in Educate Yourself

Social media is inundated with posts about body positivity. While body positivity can be helpful for some people, it still inadvertently places emphasis on appearance as a measure of self-worth and promotes the idea that we need to love our body in order to love ourselves. There is nothing wrong with loving our bodies, but it can be hard to love or even like our bodies when we are starting from a place of negative body image. Simply put, body positivity can feel like an impossible feat for many people.

With body positivity, there is a lot of pressure to think positive thoughts about your body. What if you don’t believe the positive affirmations that you are saying to yourself? This can lead to more distress and feelings of guilt for not being able to truly love your size, shape, or appearance the way the body positivity movement is telling you that you should.

For many people, body neutrality can be a more realistic and attainable goal. Body neutrality promotes the idea that we don’t have to love our body to accept it. We can simply accept our body for how it is while focusing on its functional abilities rather than its appearance. For example, you might choose to focus your attention on what your body can do – move, breathe, think, feel, and experience a full range of emotions – rather than how it looks.

What are some ways that you can practice body neutrality? For starters, you can listen to your body without assigning negative or positive value to it. This can look like eating the foods that you want and incorporating movement into your day in the ways that you enjoy. It can also be helpful to practice replacing your negative thoughts with more neutral ones, rather than trying to force yourself to entertain positive ones. For example, it can be hard to turn “I hate my body” into “I love my body.” Instead, try turning “I hate my body” into “I appreciate my body because it helps me get from place to place and experience the world around me.”

It can take a lot of time and effort to change the way you think about your body, but body acceptance can lead to a happier and fuller life. Remember to give yourself grace as you embark on your body neutrality journey.

What are your thoughts on body neutrality vs. body positivity? In what ways can you practice body neutrality? Let us know down below! 

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To-Do Apps

February 25, 2022 in LINKS

When we are stressed, it can feel like our brains are scrambled and it can be difficult to sort through all the noise. Life can get very busy, and it can be overwhelming keeping up with everything. Setting SMART goals can go a long way in helping us to stay on track. Sometimes though, it’s helpful to have all our thoughts and things to do in one easy-to-access place. While planners are extremely helpful, it isn’t always possible to keep one on us.

Given our increased reliance on technology, it isn’t surprising that a number of productivity and organizing apps have popped up. Here are a few to try to help keep goals and tasks in order:

TickTick: TickTick is great for putting all your tasks in order and tracking habits. You can also make tasks with deadlines and reoccurring tasks! There are multiple ways to organize your tasks, such as categorizing them by priority levels. The one downside with this site is that you would need a Premium paid subscription to see all your tasks in calendar form. You can see more tips on getting started here.

Notion: Notion has a lot of great templates and features included in their free version. You can customize how you view your to-do lists (calendar view, list view, to-do board, etc.) and add custom tags to each event or task. You can download it as a phone or desktop app and include reminders for events. Notion is especially helpful for project management, and you can view your upcoming tasks in a timeline format. You can find more information here

Some other fan favorites have been Habatica and ToDoist and for those with Apple Products TimePage and Things3.

Have you ever tried any of these apps? What were your thoughts? Are you willing to try them? What helps you stay organized?

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Getting Better Sleep Without FOMO

February 24, 2022 in Social Media Guide

Quite often, the first piece of advice we receive when trying to change our sleeping habits and to get a better night’s sleep is to put our phone (and all other types of screens and technology) away. Experts recommend that adolescents get at least 8-10 hours of sleep a night, and, to ensure staying asleep, to avoid screen time at least 30 minutes to 1 hour before you plan to call it a night.

There are plenty of reasons to explain why you should avoid your phone, computer, tablets, and TVs before bed: the bright light keeps you alert and makes you less tired (but more tired in the morning), REM sleep (where memories are processed with ties to problem-solving skills) is decreased, and of course, using screens delays sleep as a whole because you’re engaging with content in some way.

But like all habits, distancing yourself from your phone before bed is easier said than done. For a generation of youths that communicate online as much as, if not more, communicating face-to-face, putting phones away, along with the conversations, social media platforms, and friends that come with it, can be nerve wracking. 

We’ve talked about FOMO and social media breaks before. Because technology and social media is so crucial to how many youths communicate today, it’s easy to feel like anything could happen and that you can miss something important without your phone for just a few seconds, an hour before sleeping, and even longer than that. Not having your phone charging next to you means that you might miss a conversation in a group chat, an email, or even a notification about something you don’t care about at all. The excitement of social media, regardless of what the content is, and just the fact that there is always content to see, makes us want to stay on and makes us afraid that we’ll miss something important, even if we most likely won’t.

If you’re trying to get a better night’s sleep but are having a hard time parting from your phone to do so, just know that all that content will also be there in the morning. Most of the time, there isn’t anything groundbreaking that requires us to stay up expecting an alert at 1AM. Putting your phone away right before bed can also be the first step to take if you want to distance yourself from how much you use and rely on social media as a whole.

If anything, keeping your phone away may make it easier to get out of bed! If you use your phone for your alarm and have it far away from you, you have to get out of it to turn it off, instead of pressing snooze a bunch of times and/or staying in bed scrolling aimlessly on your phone, just like you did the night before, giving you a less groggy and grumpy start to the day.

Do you have trouble sleeping at night? Where do you keep your phone when you’re getting ready for bed? Have you ever considered keeping your phone away before bed? If you have, or do keep it away, has it made any difference in your sleep?

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