SOVA Blog

Self-Deprecating Humor

October 5, 2022 in Educate Yourself

There are many ways that you can be funny. Maybe you have a preference for puns (or you might think they’re a pun-ishment), or you may think that having a monotone, dry sense of humor is the way to go. 

You may have heard of self-deprecating humor before too. It shows up all the time on sitcoms and stand-up specials, and you may have even used it yourself. The best way to describe self-deprecating humor is by watching Chandler from Friends. While he makes sarcastic, sometimes subtly mean comments towards others, he mostly directs them towards himself

Self-deprecating humor is a form of self-awareness, but the person using that humor only points out what they think are negative things or things they don’t like about themselves, but says it aloud in a funny, joking way. You can joke about something you don’t like about yourself physically, something about your personality, or it can even be as straightforward as sarcastically saying something like, “Anyone else in this room hate themselves too?”

Using self-deprecating humor isn’t new, but log onto websites like twitter and tiktok and it can feel like those types of jokes are everywhere (think of any meme with a trash can and people referring to it as their home, for example). Not only does social media allow us to make self-deprecating posts, but liking and retweeting them allows us to participate in self-deprecating humor on a larger, public platform.

But how does self-deprecating humor impact your mental health? A lot of self-deprecating tweets and memes are often associated with mental illness with jokes like feeling dead inside, one’s depression and anxiety telling you two different things, wanting to die, and blaming yourself for all the bad things that have happened to your life. 

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Some research has shown results that having self-defeating humor can help in some aspects, like processing anger, and may improve psychological well-being and sociability. Seeing these memes may make whoever retweets or see them feel like they’re not alone and that thousands of other people feel the same way they do. The jokes about mental health can be a way of relating to others, and also is a way of you showing vulnerability and transparency about your mental health.

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Most research has shown that being this openly negative about yourself – even if done in a humorous way – has a detrimental effect on your mental health and can negatively affect your professional success, however. Some people may view one using this humor as “pathetic” and having a negative presence, and saying pessimistic things about yourself out loud gives you more ammo against yourself: and you’re not just kicking yourself while you’re down internally, but externally too. While self-defeating humor is used a way of lowering expectations for others and yourself, it can also set you up for failure, because you’re openly saying that you don’t think you’re doing a great job at something and almost expecting the bad things to happen instead.

So while the memes can be funny and relatable, they can ultimately just feel sad. It could be a way of coping, but if you use it all the time, it can also act as a barrier from talking to other people because they only see the negative parts of you. Ultimately, everyone’s sense of humor is different, but when it gets to the point that everything about it is negative, it can affect not just those around you, but your own well-being and perception of yourself too.


Do you use self-deprecating humor? What do you think about people making jokes about themselves?

How to Use Empathy

September 30, 2022 in LINKS

This video was based on a TED talk by Dr. Brené Brown. She is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent more than a decade studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame.

Have you been on both sides of the hole? Have you ever climbed down with a friend?

  • How did this video make you feel? 
  • What kinds of changes did it make you want to make in your life?
  • Or did it remind you of something you or someone else went through?

Share below!

Depression Naps

September 28, 2022 in Educate Yourself

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As one of the more notable symptoms of depression, napping or sleeping for long periods of time can suck time out of the day. Naps during the day mean that the time to do other things is lost, and doing so can make you unable to sleep at night, which makes you tired the next day, and repeat. Some suggest tracking your sleep patterns in order to adjust it, but when depression factors in, it’s harder to track just when you want (or maybe don’t want) to take that inevitable nap.

The primary cause for depression naps stems from avoidance. While naps are supposed to be a refresher before going about the rest of the day (think siestas), people take depression naps to escape from the feelings and thoughts that depression causes. It’s a coping mechanism, something to do to not just pass time, but to let the brain shut up for a little.

These naps serve as an escape, but they are anything but beneficial. They can last from several, excruciatingly long minutes to almost the whole day, and with them come lethargy and a lack of desire to get up, therefore spending more time being sedentary. Sometimes, it feels like the problem can only get worse. Depression naps can also trigger anxiety, because now that some of the day is wasted, so has the opportunity to get things done. This also comes with a feeling of guilt, because the time where you could have been busy and accomplishing things was sacrificed for essentially doing nothing. Then there’s the fact that once you’ve taken a nap during the day, it’s significantly harder to fall asleep at night. A lack of a study pattern has its adverse effects as well, like on school performance, blood pressure, and appetite. Overall, depression naps can cause a snowball effect that often times enhance depressive symptoms.

While trying to avoid them is easier said than done, it’s important to not feel guilty when you find yourself falling asleep when you don’t want to. Sometimes it’s the only thing the body can bring itself to do, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only solution in an attempt to feel better.

Further Reading:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/what-is-a-depression-nap_us_5a54e4c8e4b01e1a4b19fdadhttps://www.refinery29.com/excessive-sleeping-symptoms-of-depressionhttps://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5449130/

Do you find yourself taking depression naps? What do you think can be done to avoid taking them?

Headspace

September 23, 2022 in LINKS

Have you heard of Headspace? Headspace is both a website and an app that helps promote mindfulness in everyday living.

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from: Headspace.com

We like Headspace because it breaks meditation and mindfulness practices down into easy to digest pieces (and there’s science behind its design)!

Sometimes it can feel very daunting to try something new like mindfulness meditation, but Headspace makes it really easy to understand the benefits and  to try out something new!

The app is free, so give it a shot!

Tell us what you think. Did you like the app? Have you tried it before? 

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Controlling Emotions

September 19, 2022 in Be Positive


It’s impossible to be in control of our emotions all the time. After all, we’re only human, and we react to things in different ways as they happen, whether we want to or not. We may get overly excited about something we’re passionate about during a time when it’s probably not the most appropriate, or we might find ourselves getting a little too heated when someone insults someone close to us.

In moments when your mental health might not be the strongest, navigating and controlling your emotions can feel like a lost battle. It’s like you’re fighting with your mental illness to see who is in control over your brain and how you respond to things, and before you know it, you find yourself on edge and even the slightest inconvenience can have you bursting into tears.

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Feeling like you don’t have control, especially over your emotions and reactions can be incredibly overwhelming, but it’s not impossible to take that control back.

The Internet has a few guides on how to control your emotions when they’re leaning on the more negative side. These include taking a deep breath and taking a moment to ground yourself before reacting to something, rewinding to see how you got to that feeling in the first place, and replacing negative thoughts with positive ones to redirect your mood.Paragraph

And remember this: although it can feel like you’re fighting your mental illness over the remote control for your brain and emotions, you have the strength to take it back. No matter what, that remote will always end up back in your hand


Have you ever felt like you weren’t in control of your emotions? How did that feel? Do you have any advice on how to improve your mood or combating negative emotions?


How Can You Tell if Your Social Media Habits are Toxic?

September 16, 2022 in Social Media Guide

Though it’s easier said than done, sometimes the best way to improve our experiences on social media is to not just change how much we’re using it, but how we talk to others and react to what we encounter online.

Now, toxic is a heavy word. If you find out that some of your social media habits are, or can be, toxic, this doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person or that you’re the direct cause of other people’s problems through social media. Toxic habits are those that, if not addressed, can reach the point of doing damage to both yourselves and others, whether they are intentional or not. Some toxic habits regarding social media include the inability to close and instead constantly refreshing apps that include accounts that make you feel bad about yourself and cause negativity, as well as spending a significant amount of time filtering, analyzing, and downloading apps to help you curate the seemingly perfect life online. Other habits can include following – or even just checking in on – the accounts of people who have hurt you, trolls, and hateful accounts who don’t share the same opinions as you.

Toxic habits on social media can fester to the point where they can emphasize mental illness symptoms. Following accounts that promote unhealthy habits, such as extreme dieting or forcing positivity, can be triggering and guilt-inducing, and looking at troll accounts can make you angry and cause you to engage in fights and lash out. Caring too much about social media stats can make you incredibly anxious and over-analytical about actions you make both online and off, and if you feel like you’re constantly doomscrolling and can’t log off, you might end up triggering depressive symptoms and feelings of hopelessness.

As we begin the new year, you may want to reconsider how you’re using your social media accounts and if the way you engage online may possibly be toxic.


Have you ever had any toxic social media habits? Do you have any now? What would you like to do differently with how you use social media? Feel free to ask questions about how to do so and your experiences with toxicity online and how it affected you below

It’s Okay to Want Attention

September 13, 2022 in Educate Yourself

There are several reasons why people may be hesitant when it comes to opening up about mental health, and especially mental illness. Stigma still plays a large part, while others may feel that what they’re experiencing “isn’t that bad” and that others have it worse, so it’s not worth bringing up.

Similar to this, others may be afraid to open up about their mental health because they are afraid of taking up too much space in others’ lives. It’s not uncommon for those experiencing symptoms of mental illness feeling like they are a burden and that their mental illness is something that will inconvenience others around them. Some may view simply existing with mental illness as troublesome and being a negative presence around others, while others may feel that talking about their issues and what they’re going through is too selfish.

As humans however, we all crave attention and the feeling of being wanted. There’s nothing wrong – and it’s even helpful – to openly talk about what you’re going through and when your mental illness is severely impacting you. When it comes to trying to find that balance of seeking support from others and demanding too much space, keep in mind some of the following items:

If you think you’re taking up too much space, you most likely are not. Mental illness has a way of manipulating and negatively affecting your thoughts and how you see the things and people around you. While you may think that you’re being selfish and only talking about the negative things that you’re experiencing, the reality is, it’s probably not the only thing that you’re talking about with others, and definitely not the only thing others are talking about with you.

Find and trust your support system. Obviously, you don’t need to tell everyone in excruciating detail about what you’re going through, but try to find at least a couple of people who have similar mental illness experiences, are those that you can trust, and/or identify as people close to you. In moments when your mental illness seems overbearing, they can be people you can immediately contact. If you are having difficulty finding a support group, there are online spaces for those to talk about their mental illness with others in a nonjudgmental and safe space (like SOVA!).

If you don’t get a response right away, it’s most likely not because of you. Just like the human need for attention, humans also naturally center themselves and that the things that are happening around them are a result of things that they have done. If you text a friend that you’re not doing too well and they haven’t responded immediately, just remember that everyone has their own lives and are being affected and demanded by other tasks, people, and things. A response two hours later is not reflective of you; they may just be experiencing other things that are taking up their time.


Who have you talked about your mental illness with? Have you been afraid to open up about things because you think it’s selfish or burdensome?



How Our Genes Are Not Set In Stone

September 9, 2022 in LINKS

One of the most interesting areas of mental health research is “epigenetics”—the study of changes in organisms caused by modification of gene expression rather than changing the genetic code itself. In plain language, that means that we can inherit a predisposition to conditions like depression and anxiety—but there are also things we can do to change how our genes make themselves felt in our daily lives.

As Rachel Yehuda, Ph.D., says:

We’re just starting to understand that just because you’re born with a certain set of genes, you’re not in a biologic prison as a result of those genes.

Changes can be made in our behaviors that then change the way the genes function. Our genes are not set in stone.

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Yehuda is professor of psychiatry and neuroscience at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine. She talks about epigenetics and the kinds of changes we can make to our genetic expression in this episode of a super-helpful podcast called “On Being.”

Sometimes those changes, for example, have to do with diet—like if you inherit a predisposition toward cancer, you don’t inherit actual tumors, but you inherit a greater possibility that if you eat a diet high in animal fat and low in healthy carbohydrates, you may increase your chances of your genes turning on the “switch” for cancer.

And sometimes those changes have to do with behaviors.

If you inherit the predisposition toward depression, and you respond to stress by locking yourself in your room, refusing to talk to anyone, and comparing yourself to peers on social media, then you may run the risk of turning on those switches that can lead your genes “express” the tendency toward depression.

But it works the other way, too! The more you learn to respond to stress with behaviors such as visiting a therapist, engaging in yoga or meditation, or talking with a friend, the more you can increase your chances of turning that switch off—or keeping it turned off.

Yehuda says that her research is showing that “some epigenetic changes occur in response to psychotherapy.”

If we’re saying that environmental circumstances can create one kind of change, a different environmental circumstance creates another kind of change. That’s very empowering.

Check out On Being on Facebook and Twitter for positive messages throughout your day!

Have you ever worried that your genes would “lock you in a prison”? Have you actually seen your coping strategies reduce your symptoms of anxiety and depression? What practices empower you? Tell us!

Self-Care and Influencers

September 7, 2022 in Social Media Guide

Most people think of self-care as an ongoing process of maintaining one’s living space, hygiene, and ensuring that basic needs are being met. It’s not always easy or fun, but it’s an essential component to being well. While these activities can seem easy to manage for most, for those dealing with mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, or other conditions, these tasks require a greater deal of time and effort and may not be as often maintained. Social media has also contributed to the idea that buying all the right beauty/wellness products can maximize the outcomes and the products may feel like a necessity in the minds of consumers.

If you search online for the value of the self-care and wellness markets, you can see that the self care industry is valued around $10 billion and is only a part of a much larger market of wellness which as of 2018 was valued around $4.5 trillion. While there is nothing wrong with buying the occasional bath bomb or doing facial masks or splurging on a new hygiene gadget, these statistics show that these purchases are more than occasional and show trends of increase across time. Naturally, most companies will use some sort of advertising to attract you to their products, and while these ads vary in terms of style, tone, language, the goal will be the same: “buy our product. It will provide something you need.”

Passive advertising, or the use of more natural ads in ways that aren’t obtrusive (think of product placement in your favorite TV shows, movies, and video games) is so commonplace that it often seems to be the primary way advertising is done. Passive advertising’s main drawback is the time commitment needed to build a following, but if a brand can use an already established entity such as a celebrity or other media personality, it can rapidly speed this process as seen in many ads on television. As advertising needs to grow the brand it represents, it will regularly redesign its ad strategies to capture the attention of younger age groups.

The easiest way to do this is to take advantage of the stress and pressure that teens and young adults are under from school, parents, their peer groups, etc. to be at their best at all times. Since social media is mostly used by younger age groups, it makes the most sense to advertise there. As different sites and apps gain a big enough userbase, these brands will create accounts and generate content that is just advertising their brand, but is not visibly different than other content unless the site specifically marks it as “advertising” or “sponsored.” Because of this presence, many people like, share, and follow brands they like on social media.  If they don’t, they likely follow someone on social media who does.

This often occurs in the case of social media influencers who promote an idealized vision of a “perfect life” while being paid to promote specific products that often come with a very high price tag. This is not to say that they are being deliberately manipulative or harmful. It makes sense to sell something when there is no alternative in an economic system like capitalism which requires money for survival, but there are risks to this advertising when the consumer is a younger person.

What’s important to consider is that while the product may be a good product, the product alone isn’t helping the influencer. Rather, it’s the money they are being paid, and because this is often their full-time job, they have more access to these products and to free time and other aspects of life that can make their self-care much easier to complete than the average young person. Additionally, part of being an online presence is acting and showing off a “perfect life” that often doesn’t show their own anxieties and stresses caused by their work.

If subscribers of these creators regularly buy these products and don’t have the same outcomes set by the hyper-glamorous lives of online celebrities, it can create a harmful loop that can have negative impacts on the mental health of the consumer. This is especially true in the case of beauty, health, self-care, and other wellness industries where self-image and self-esteem often end up very associated with these products.

The best thing to do when being a follower of content creators that incorporate advertising is to read other reviews of the product and also determine what about the product is desirable and if it will actually provide self-care in a meaningful way or if it will simply be a a temporary boost that results in a cycle of needing more, potentially causing debt, or worse, could potentially be a harmful or inferior product


Do you use products for your mental health and wellness? Have you ever bought a product because of an influencer? Have you ever seen a sponsored post for healthcare and/or mental health products?

National Alliance on Mental Illness

September 2, 2022 in LINKS

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) is the United States’ largest grassroots mental health organization. NAMI is dedicated to building better lives for millions of American’s affected by mental illness through education, advocacy, listening, and awareness.

The NAMI website is an excellent resource for information about mental health, with a wide variety of news articles on mental illness, specific conditions, blogs, stories, and more!

Learn More: Learn about the warning signs of mental illness, mental health conditions, statistics, treatments, research, and public policies.

Find Support:  This section includes tips for reaching out to support services, advice on living with a mental health condition (such as navigating insurance, finding a therapist, facing the challenges of relationships, and more!) and support for:

  • family members and caregivers,
  • teens and young adults,
  • veterans and active duty personnel,
  • LGBTQ2IA+ people,
  • and marginalized communities.

There is also a HelpLine and programs that offer support, education, and training.

Get Involved:  This section shows various ways that you and your family can get involved with NAMI, whether that be through education, peer support, policy advocacy, or promoting public understanding.

NAMI News: Read about mental illness in the news and ways to take action.

NAMI Blogs:  A place to comment on post from people who have lived experience with mental illness and those with expertise in living with mental illness and mental health.

Personal Stories: Read personal stories from the NAMI community.

Find your local NAMI! What are they up to in your community? What is something valuable you learned from the NAMI website? Leave us a comment and let us know!  


Have you looked at the NAMI website before? What are some takeaways you found?