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“When I Came Out”

October 12, 2022 in LINKS

It kind of makes sense that National Coming Out Day (10/11) is the day after World Mental Health Day (10/10). Mental health and mental illness are almost always tied to marginalized groups, with those who identify as LGBT being no exception. You’re probably somewhat aware of the staggering differences in statistics between queer people and those who are cisgender and/or heterosexual (if you want to check out the specifics, you can do so here), especially in queer youth as they try to navigate these identities.

There aren’t that many statistics about queer mental health after coming out. Naturally, they can differ from person to person. Some find being out to be liberating, while others use it as a platform for LGBT advocacy. Others have talked about how negative school environments have impacted them, but support systems to those they trust make the biggest difference. 

We wanted to highlight one specific website: When I Came Out. Here, people write anonymous, quick stories about an instance where they came out and how it affected them. The stories differ not just in reactions but how people came out (one person did so through a spoken word poem in class, another did so with a pun to their best friend). While not every story has a happy ending, it’s a safe place where queer people can open up and talk through their feelings. 

When I Came Out

Most of the stories are by teenagers, but there are some as young as 10 leaving stories and some in their late 20s (there’s even a story from a 67 year old!). There’s a search button, and with almost 2,000 stories, you can likely find something that’s specific to you and remind you that you’re not alone.

Of course, coming out isn’t a one-time only event. Queer people are continuously coming to new people they meet, or may be opening up to one person at a time. Everyone has their own journey and steps that they have to take, but learning and seeing that things do get better and that someone who shares your sexuality and/or gender identity have a positive experience after coming out can make a huge difference.

(Also, if you’re questioning or want to feel as safe as possible if the conditions for you aren’t the greatest, simply hit the “escape” button on your keyboard and the site immediately takes you to both Google and weather.com so no one can see that you were ever on)

If you identify as LGBTQ2IA+, what advice do you have to share if you came out? What are your experiences with people – both with strangers and with those who you’re close with?

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Indigenous Peoples Day 2022

October 11, 2022 in Educate Yourself

October 10th was Indigenous Peoples Day 2022. Here some links to find mental health resources for indigenous communities and read/watch stories from indigenous youth

  • IndigiLOVE Campaign – We R Native This resource is created by native youth for native youth. They cover a variety of topics, including mental health, and feature poems and visual art created by native youth.
  • Love is Respect is a project dedicated to providing resources on navigating relationships and ending dating violence. This site includes the StrongHearts Native Helpline  

Have you heard of these resources before? Feel free to share your favorite Indigenous authors, creators, and advocates below

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Practicing Radical Self-Care

October 7, 2022 in LINKS

Self-care has become a term that always pops up when talking about mental health and wellness. The most common image is that of meditating, taking a bath, or doing a face mask. And while this is great, self-care is so much more than that. While these moments of nurture are helpful, self-care is a radical act for many as they learn to put their needs, emotions, and well-being first.

You may have heard the name Angela Davis pop up over the past years. As an activist for Black lives and education for decades, she well knows the toll that not just activism, but living as a Black woman can have mentally and physically. We wanted to include the video below where she talks about radical self-care and why it’s so important to be able to prioritize ourselves and do what we need to do to make sure that we’re okay. She specifically talks about this is important for those who participate in activism (and can be prone to burnout because of how heavy the content can be as well as taking care of others) and those from marginalized groups who have historically been told that they do not matter.

Check it out below!

How do you practice self-care? Is self-care something that’s important to you? What do you think of radical self-care?

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Getting Better Sleep without FOMO

October 6, 2022 in Social Media Guide

Quite often, the first piece of advice we receive when trying to change our sleeping habits and to get a better night’s sleep is to put our phone (and all other types of screens and technology) away. Experts recommend that adolescents get at least 8-10 hours of sleep a night, and to ensure staying asleep, to avoid screen time at least 30 minutes to 1 hour before you plan to call it a night.

There are plenty of reasons to explain why you should avoid your phone, computer, tablets, and TVs before bed: the bright light keeps you alert and makes you less tired (but more tired in the morning), REM sleep (where memories are processed and has ties to problem-solving skills) is decreased, and of course, using screens delays sleep as a whole because you’re engaging with content in some way.

But like all habits, distancing yourself from your phone before bed is easier said than done. For a generation of youths that communicate online as much as, if not more, communicating face-to-face, putting phones away, along with the conversations, social media platforms, and friends that come with it, can be nerve wracking. 

We’ve talked about FOMO and social media breaks before. Because technology and social media is so crucial to how many youths communicate today, it’s easy to feel like anything could happen and that you can miss something important without your phone for just a few seconds, an hour before sleeping, and even longer than that. Not having your phone charging next to you means that you might miss a conversation in a group chat, an email, or even a notification about something you don’t care about at all. The excitement of social media, regardless of what the content is, and just the fact that there is always content to see, makes us want to stay on and makes us afraid that we’ll miss something important, even if it’s most likely not.

If you’re trying to get a better night’s sleep but are having a hard time parting from your phone to do so, just know that all that content will also be there in the morning. Most of the time, there isn’t anything groundbreaking that requires us to stay up expecting an alert at 1AM. Putting your phone away right before bed can also be the first step to take if you want to distance yourself from how much you use and rely on social media as a whole.

If anything, keeping your phone away may make it easier to get out of bed! If you use your phone for your alarm and have it far away from you, you have to get out of it to turn it off, instead of pressing snooze a bunch of times and/or staying in bed scrolling aimlessly on your phone, just like you did the night before, giving you a less groggy and grumpy start to the day.

Do you have trouble sleeping at night? Where do you keep your phone when you’re getting ready for bed? Have you ever considered keeping your phone away before bed? If you have, or do keep it away, has it made any difference in your sleep?

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Self-Deprecating Humor

October 5, 2022 in Educate Yourself

There are many ways that you can be funny. Maybe you have a preference for puns (or you might think they’re a pun-ishment), or you may think that having a monotone, dry sense of humor is the way to go. 

You may have heard of self-deprecating humor before too. It shows up all the time on sitcoms and stand-up specials, and you may have even used it yourself. The best way to describe self-deprecating humor is by watching Chandler from Friends. While he makes sarcastic, sometimes subtly mean comments towards others, he mostly directs them towards himself. 

Self-deprecating humor is a form of self-awareness, but the person using that humor only points out what they think are negative things or things they don’t like about themselves, but says it aloud in a funny, joking way. You can joke about something you don’t like about yourself physically, something about your personality, or it can even be as straightforward as sarcastically saying something like, “Anyone else in this room hate themselves too?”

Using self-deprecating humor isn’t new, but log onto websites like twitter and tiktok and it can feel like those types of jokes are everywhere (think of any meme with a trash can and people referring to it as their home, for example). Not only does social media allow us to make self-deprecating posts, but liking and retweeting them allows us to participate in self-deprecating humor on a larger, public platform.

But how does self-deprecating humor impact your mental health? A lot of self-deprecating tweets and memes are often associated with mental illness with jokes like feeling dead inside, one’s depression and anxiety telling you two different things, wanting to die, and blaming yourself for all the bad things that have happened to your life. 

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Some research has shown results that having self-defeating humor can help in some aspects, like processing anger, and may improve psychological well-being and sociability. Seeing these memes may make whoever retweets or see them feel like they’re not alone and that thousands of other people feel the same way they do. The jokes about mental health can be a way of relating to others, and also is a way of you showing vulnerability and transparency about your mental health.

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Most research has shown that being this openly negative about yourself – even if done in a humorous way – has a detrimental effect on your mental health and can negatively affect your professional success, however. Some people may view one using this humor as “pathetic” and having a negative presence, and saying pessimistic things about yourself out loud gives you more ammo against yourself: and you’re not just kicking yourself while you’re down internally, but externally too. While self-defeating humor is used a way of lowering expectations for others and yourself, it can also set you up for failure, because you’re openly saying that you don’t think you’re doing a great job at something and almost expecting the bad things to happen instead.

So while the memes can be funny and relatable, they can ultimately just feel sad. It could be a way of coping, but if you use it all the time, it can also act as a barrier from talking to other people because they only see the negative parts of you. Ultimately, everyone’s sense of humor is different, but when it gets to the point that everything about it is negative, it can affect not just those around you, but your own well-being and perception of yourself too.

Do you use self-deprecating humor? What do you think about people making jokes about themselves?

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How to Use Empathy

September 30, 2022 in LINKS

This video was based on a TED talk by Dr. Brené Brown. She is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent more than a decade studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame.

Have you been on both sides of the hole? Have you ever climbed down with a friend?

  • How did this video make you feel? 
  • What kinds of changes did it make you want to make in your life?
  • Or did it remind you of something you or someone else went through?

Share below!

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Depression Naps

September 28, 2022 in Educate Yourself

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As one of the more notable symptoms of depression, napping or sleeping for long periods of time can suck time out of the day. Naps during the day mean that the time to do other things is lost, and doing so can make you unable to sleep at night, which makes you tired the next day, and repeat. Some suggest tracking your sleep patterns in order to adjust it, but when depression factors in, it’s harder to track just when you want (or maybe don’t want) to take that inevitable nap.

The primary cause for depression naps stems from avoidance. While naps are supposed to be a refresher before going about the rest of the day (think siestas), people take depression naps to escape from the feelings and thoughts that depression causes. It’s a coping mechanism, something to do to not just pass time, but to let the brain shut up for a little.

These naps serve as an escape, but they are anything but beneficial. They can last from several, excruciatingly long minutes to almost the whole day, and with them come lethargy and a lack of desire to get up, therefore spending more time being sedentary. Sometimes, it feels like the problem can only get worse. Depression naps can also trigger anxiety, because now that some of the day is wasted, so has the opportunity to get things done. This also comes with a feeling of guilt, because the time where you could have been busy and accomplishing things was sacrificed for essentially doing nothing. Then there’s the fact that once you’ve taken a nap during the day, it’s significantly harder to fall asleep at night. A lack of a study pattern has its adverse effects as well, like on school performance, blood pressure, and appetite. Overall, depression naps can cause a snowball effect that often times enhance depressive symptoms.

While trying to avoid them is easier said than done, it’s important to not feel guilty when you find yourself falling asleep when you don’t want to. Sometimes it’s the only thing the body can bring itself to do, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only solution in an attempt to feel better.

Further Reading:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/what-is-a-depression-nap_us_5a54e4c8e4b01e1a4b19fdadhttps://www.refinery29.com/excessive-sleeping-symptoms-of-depressionhttps://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5449130/

Do you find yourself taking depression naps? What do you think can be done to avoid taking them?

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Headspace

September 23, 2022 in LINKS

Have you heard of Headspace? Headspace is both a website and an app that helps promote mindfulness in everyday living.

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from: Headspace.com

We like Headspace because it breaks meditation and mindfulness practices down into easy to digest pieces (and there’s science behind its design)!

Sometimes it can feel very daunting to try something new like mindfulness meditation, but Headspace makes it really easy to understand the benefits and  to try out something new!

The app is free, so give it a shot!

Tell us what you think. Did you like the app? Have you tried it before? 

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Controlling Emotions

September 19, 2022 in Be Positive


It’s impossible to be in control of our emotions all the time. After all, we’re only human, and we react to things in different ways as they happen, whether we want to or not. We may get overly excited about something we’re passionate about during a time when it’s probably not the most appropriate, or we might find ourselves getting a little too heated when someone insults someone close to us.

In moments when your mental health might not be the strongest, navigating and controlling your emotions can feel like a lost battle. It’s like you’re fighting with your mental illness to see who is in control over your brain and how you respond to things, and before you know it, you find yourself on edge and even the slightest inconvenience can have you bursting into tears.

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Feeling like you don’t have control, especially over your emotions and reactions can be incredibly overwhelming, but it’s not impossible to take that control back.

The Internet has a few guides on how to control your emotions when they’re leaning on the more negative side. These include taking a deep breath and taking a moment to ground yourself before reacting to something, rewinding to see how you got to that feeling in the first place, and replacing negative thoughts with positive ones to redirect your mood.Paragraph

And remember this: although it can feel like you’re fighting your mental illness over the remote control for your brain and emotions, you have the strength to take it back. No matter what, that remote will always end up back in your hand. 

Have you ever felt like you weren’t in control of your emotions? How did that feel? Do you have any advice on how to improve your mood or combating negative emotions?


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How Can You Tell if Your Social Media Habits are Toxic?

September 16, 2022 in Social Media Guide

Though it’s easier said than done, sometimes the best way to improve our experiences on social media is to not just change how much we’re using it, but how we talk to others and react to what we encounter online.

Now, toxic is a heavy word. If you find out that some of your social media habits are, or can be, toxic, this doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person or that you’re the direct cause of other people’s problems through social media. Toxic habits are those that, if not addressed, can reach the point of doing damage to both yourselves and others, whether they are intentional or not. Some toxic habits regarding social media include the inability to close and instead constantly refreshing apps that include accounts that make you feel bad about yourself and cause negativity, as well as spending a significant amount of time filtering, analyzing, and downloading apps to help you curate the seemingly perfect life online. Other habits can include following – or even just checking in on – the accounts of people who have hurt you, trolls, and hateful accounts who don’t share the same opinions as you.

Toxic habits on social media can fester to the point where they can emphasize mental illness symptoms. Following accounts that promote unhealthy habits, such as extreme dieting or forcing positivity, can be triggering and guilt-inducing, and looking at troll accounts can make you angry and cause you to engage in fights and lash out. Caring too much about social media stats can make you incredibly anxious and over-analytical about actions you make both online and off, and if you feel like you’re constantly doomscrolling and can’t log off, you might end up triggering depressive symptoms and feelings of hopelessness.

As we begin the new year, you may want to reconsider how you’re using your social media accounts and if the way you engage online may possibly be toxic.

Have you ever had any toxic social media habits? Do you have any now? What would you like to do differently with how you use social media? Feel free to ask questions about how to do so and your experiences with toxicity online and how it affected you below

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