SOVA Blog

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How to Block on Social Media

June 30, 2016 in Social Media Guide

While social media is often a place to connect with your friends and relatives, it can easily become a place for unwelcome users as well. One of the greatest aspects of today’s social media outlets is that each of them have developed a way for you to block or delete anyone that you do not want to see your posts or to contact you. While blocking may occasionally seem harsh, you have the right to control every one of your social media outlets so that you are comfortable and safe.

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This website has individual links into virtually every social media site/app that is currently out to help you take control of your privacy. It also includes links on how to block people from calling  you, emailing you, and other forms of online contact.

Click here to learn how to block people from texting you on iPhones or Androids.

You can read more here about how blocking or deleting people can make you a happier social media user.

 

Do you have any other thoughts about the importance of managing who can see your social media accounts? Or, do you have any stories of how blocking someone helped you? Share them with us!

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How’s it going? Fine…

June 29, 2016 in Educate Yourself

Photo Credit: ikneema via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: ikneema via Compfight cc

A few of your comments on previous articles mentioned that some of us feel looking back, we wish we would have opened up more with a therapist.

What are your worries about opening up? Some people may worry about:

  • Feeling judged
  • Feeling embarrassed
  • Being told that something is wrong with them
  • Privacy
  • Being let down
  • Getting hurt
  • Not being able to deal with raw emotions
  • Having a panic attack

Of course these are all valid  concerns. Some things that may help is that a therapist’s job is to listen to people’s thoughts and about intimate details of their lives. This means that probably what you are telling them is a version of something they have heard before or at least something they have training in.

A therapist’s role includes:

  • Making you feel safe and comfortable
  • Listening without judgment
  • Helping you reach the goals of your therapy
  • Keeping what you tell them private
  • Helping you gage if you need to take a break if your emotions are too strong

If you are getting therapy and you feel like you are not there yet and cannot open up enough with them, be honest. Let them know that you are having a hard time opening up and sharing. This is something they can help you work on! Also if it’s not a right fit, its ok to tell them that too.

Have you had trouble opening up to a therapist? Are there ways you overcame this?

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What do all these letters mean?

June 15, 2016 in Educate Yourself

 

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You may have seen them before when navigating in the mental health world…MD, LPC, MFT, LCSW, PhD…what do they all mean?! Here is a very brief introduction to what some of these different letter stand for and what they might mean to you.

Read the rest of this entry →

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by Moderator ★

What Is “Trouble Functioning”?

June 14, 2016 in Educate Yourself

Getting help for symptoms of depression can be tough. Sometimes it might feel like an easier way would be just seeing if it goes away on its own. There are good reasons not to wait.

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Having adolescent depression can mean:

These problems all mean that you may have trouble functioning because of depression. Most people consider having health problems, using drugs and alcohol, and having worse grades and risky sexual behavior as a problem. But what does having trouble functioning really mean to you? Its important to remember that this is all relative. Think about what is important to you – or about what a life worth living is for you.

Maybe you want to be able to play basketball with your friends, focus on getting an art project done, not fight with your sister, and go to school without getting a headache. If depression is keeping you from being the person you want to be and the life you want to live, that is what having trouble functioning means. The good news is there is help out there that can help get you back to being who you want to be.

Stay tuned for future posts on different treatment options which may work for you.

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Who sees what you post?

June 9, 2016 in Social Media Guide

Recently an interesting New York Times article  came out about Justine Sacco who posted a tweet she thought only 170 of her followers would see. She thought it was a joke, but others interpreted it as offensive and racist. Someone who had seen the tweet shared it with the editor of a popular blog. When he shared it with his friends, it went viral. Soon she lost her job and was publicly humiliated.

Who sees what you post? Could it ever get you into serious trouble? Sometimes we think only our friends will see or care, but stories like this might make you think again.

Let us know your thoughts below!

(featured image: tweeter madness by daveelf is licensed by CC-BY-NC-2.0)

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Do you hear me?

May 31, 2016 in Educate Yourself

Photo Credit: richard_polhill via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: richard_polhill via Compfight cc

Is anyone even listening to me?

Some young people don’t like to go see a doctor or a therapist because they haven’t felt listened to in the past. Sometimes it is tough for adults to listen to young people. They might be making assumptions that they know what the young person is going to say; they might be judging them based on their tone or body language; or even they might honestly not understand the way young people talk or what they are talking about!

In turn, the young person might feel frustrated and have some of these thoughts:

How is this even going to work if no one is listening to me?

They really don’t care what I think, just what they think.

There’s no way for them to understand anyways.

The problem with these thoughts is that if you are working with a professional therapist or doctor, they should not be true. In medicine, doctors are evaluated based on professionalism – which is their code of conduct or the way they are taught and socialized to behave. Professionalism includes having respect for patients and being responsive to their needs. So now that you know this, if someone is really not listening to you, it is unprofessional. That means you have a right to and should say something!

Some examples of things you can say in a neutral way to start to introduce how you feel are:

I feel like I am not being listened to.

I would like to get better, but I feel like I am not being heard. Can I have time to share something?

I feel like things could be going better during my visits. Can I let you know some of the concerns I have?

Has this happened to you before? How have you addressed it?

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Is depression in my genes?

May 24, 2016 in Educate Yourself

Where does depression come from? Like we talked about before, there are many theories (ideas for why something happens that scientists put together from facts and based on how the world seems to work).

There is some evidence or proof that part of why someone has depression comes from their genes – or basically the code your parents gave you that is an instruction manual for your body and mind.

On average in our population, about 38% of the way depression is inherited may be from genetics – and more so for girls than boys. Remember that means in a whole population – we don’t know what it means for an individual person. For one person genetics could be 70% of the reason they have depression – for someone else it might only be 10%.

About 10% of people will experience depression. If someone has a parent or sibling with depression that risk goes up to about 20 to 30%.

Scientists haven’t found a “depression gene” yet. Its more likely there are a bunch of genes that contribute risk.

All of this means you don’t just get depression from your mom or dad – genes are part of the story but definitely not all of it. So don’t ever take that to mean you are programmed to be one way and there is nothing you can do about it.

You know how you open up a new phone and it has default settings? Think about those as your genes. Many phones are customizable – and you can decide how to set it up. Just because you get certain genes doesn’t mean you can’t work with what you got! Maybe you drop your phone and the screen cracks a little – then you get a new shiny case for it and now it looks awesome and you can’t tell there’s a crack. That’s kind of how the environment works – what’s around you and the experiences you have also effect who you become.

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YOU are a collection of where you came from (your genes), what  you grew up with (your environment), who you choose to become (your motivation and your goals), and who helps you get there (your support system – including medical professionals like your doctor and therapist who provide you with the tools you need to get you where you want to go).  

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I Wanna Try Even Though I Could Fail

May 23, 2016 in Be Positive

This song by Shakira for Zootopia has a great message!

What songs help you stay positive?

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A shoulder to lean on

May 3, 2016 in Educate Yourself

If you really needed help, who could you count on? You might think first of a friend your own age, and while they may be good at listening and empathizing with you, they might not know what kind of advice to give you. Not because they don’t want to help, but they just haven’t had enough experience.  Sometimes going to a supportive adult can help a lot.  With time, you get experience, and experience helps you to learn what things work well – and what things do not.  A supportive adult can be your parent, relative, teacher, priest, therapist, nurse, doctor.  But how do you know they are someone you can depend on?

Photo Credit: LauraGilchrist4 via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: LauraGilchrist4 via Compfight cc

Ask yourself:

  • Does this person care about me? do they want me to succeed?
  • Are they someone who I consider a role model? someone I wouldn’t mind being like when I get older?
  • Have they been kind to me in the past?
  • Do they listen to what I have to say?
  • Do they respect me and my decisions?

These questions might help you figure it out. If you don’t have a supportive adult, spend some time sharing that with a teacher or healthcare provider who works with young people. These adults spend a lot of time caring for and giving advice to young people and are often willing to listen and lend a helping hand.

How has a supportive adult helped you in the past? Are there any questions you would add to our list?

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How to Discuss Hard Topics with Parents

April 27, 2016 in Educate Yourself

Although talking to friends often comes more naturally, there are some situations in which parents or guardians can shed a brighter light on a tough situation than your peers. Whether you feel that your relationship is strong with your parents or not, they are the ones who care more about your well-being than anyone else. Tough subjects to bring up with parents can include a wide range of topics, anywhere from a speeding ticket to self-harm. Here are 3 steps to help you feel ready to approach a tough subject.

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1. Decide before you begin talking what your goal is.

Knowing ahead of time what you want to get out of your conversation can help you stay calm and prevent the conversation from leading down a different path. You may want specific advice, or you may just want to be listened to without judgement. Either way, being prepared can help you and the adult stick to what will be most beneficial for you.

2. Recognize your feelings and be upfront about them.

More often than not hard subjects are hard because of the emotion behind them. You could be scared, ashamed, or simply embarrassed to talk about certain things with your parents, but the best way to deal with those feelings is to be honest about them. For example, you could say, “I need to talk to you, but I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you.” By letting your parents know how you are feeling, they can be better equipped to help, and you can know that you are being heard.

3. Pick a good time to talk.

Just as being calm yourself can help when approaching a difficult talk, things will go more smoothly if your parent is calm as well. Try to find a time when they are not busy working on something else. If you are unsure, tell them that you need to talk and ask when would be a good time for them.

 

Overall, thoughtful planning is what will help you the most when discussing something difficult with a parent. By following these steps, you will give you and your parent the best shot at working through it together.

 

Do you think these are helpful tips? Or do you have more tips for people talking about difficult topics? Tell us about them!

You can also read more about talking to parents in general and about difficult topics at http://teenshealth.org/teen/your_mind/Parents/talk_to_parents.html#

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