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Supporting Our Valued Adolescents: A place to learn, share your strength, be positive, and grow.

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Teen Mental Health

November 8, 2019 in LINKS

The Internet has made it really easy and really difficult to find information about mental health. You can find a plethora of information with just a simple Google search, but how can you tell what information is the most valid and up to date? And when you do find valid and legitimate information about mental health, just how do you interpret and understand it?

Teen Mental Health

That’s where Teen Mental Health comes in. Their goal is to make all those scientific and medical articles and research understandable and attainable by the very people they’re describing: adolescents. Not only do they make this information available to adolescents, but they package and present this information in ways that can be used by educators, parents, and other adults around adolescents, like medical professionals.

So how is this information presented? Most of their work is packaged into a variety of toolboxes (there’s over 150 of them, including translations of toolboxes in different languages), varying from curriculum guides for teachers to transition guides for those starting college.  They also share a wide variety of resources for those who want to help the adolescents in their lives, which doesn’t just include adults, but friends too!

Their work goes beyond just making information available to the general public however; the organization is often involved in other initiatives in an effort to not just increase mental health literacy, but work to help reduce the rates of and help adolescents with mental illnesses. These include a worldwide intervention with the UN to reduce adolescent mental illness rates and The Sandbox Project, which works as an early prevention measure to look out for symptoms of mental illness in children and support them before they can potentially worsen. 

Overall, Teen Mental Health aims to increase mental health literacy by making information that’s usually limited to and can only be understood by professionals available to everyone. By increasing mental health literacy, we can take the steps necessary to not just get a better understanding as to how adolescents are affected by mental illness, but to plan to give them the support and tools they and others need.

Have you used the Internet to get information about mental health? Where do you usually get it from? What resources would you recommend to parents, teachers, or even your friends to learn more about mental health and illness?

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photo of pink headphones laying on a bicolored surface of pink and aqua.

Music, Social Media, and Image

November 7, 2019 in Social Media Guide

What are your favorite genres? Do you enjoy the stuff currently on the radio? Do you like pop, rock, rap, or any of the specific subgenres within them? Maybe you like a combination, or even all of them.

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Music is an extension of ourselves and a way to not only express, but figure out our identity. Music is especially meaningful for adolescents during a time when they’re experiencing a crucial time figuring out who they are. Studies have shown that adolescents listen to more music than any other age group and use it to help shape together their identity, since there’s often a culture and sense of style associated with different genres.

Studies have also shown that adolescents use music as a way to connect with others and make friends with those who have similar tastes, since they are likely to have other tastes in common too outside of music. Social media is one way of connecting people over their taste in music.

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Using social media to find out what your peers are listening to isn’t new: MySpace was known for being the place to discover and hear other’s music taste online. Not only would aspiring bands and artists post their content there (think of musicians such as Panic at the Disco and Taylor Swift), but users could make a playlist of their current favorite songs that people could listen to when they visited their page. Most of the time, visitors to their page would have no choice, since the music would automatically play. Last.fm was specifically created so that people could share what they were listening to by connecting it to their iTunes and other music sites. Of course, aspiring musicians can also use sites like Soundcloud and YouTube to post their original works, sharing it with others not just on these sites, but on other platforms too.

Nowadays, social media sites give users the option to post what music they’re listening to when they make a status (like Facebook), and some give them the choice to play a snippet of a song over their story (like Instagram). Even Spotify counts as social media: Spotify gives you the option to add friends by using your email or Facebook, and they can see what you’re listening to as you’re listening to them.

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Spotify also has a “private” listening option, so that you could listen to whatever else you want without others seeing. Both the public and private feeds on Spotify create a discussion about how people, and adolescents specifically, can manipulate what and how they listen to their music based off what others will think of them. Some might have a genre that they’re embarrassed of, or something that might not be that popular with their friends, so they might go into private mode so no one knows that they listened to it. They may only keep the regular setting on if they are listening to groups that their friends also like and contributes to the image they have created for themselves.

Picking and choosing what people see versus showing all of your music history can be similar to picking and choosing what sorts of brands adolescents want others to see them wearing and what type of photos they post on Instagram. It can be even more anxiety inducing too since adolescents listen to more music than any other age group, so it’s natural to forget that the friend feed is there as you’re listening to music, and a song might slip in that might be “judged” by someone. Some may not care, and some may not mind monitoring it. Some may even turn off this feature completely and listen to their music without others knowing when they’re doing so.

If anything, if you want to expand your taste in music outside of Spotify’s Discover Weekly, the friend feed is a great option to find some new songs.

If you use Spotify, do you have the friends on your feed? Do you look at what others are listening to, or do you think others are looking at yours? Why do you think some people judge each other’s music tastes so harshly?

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Finding a Therapist for Minorities

November 1, 2019 in LINKS

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When someone imagines a therapist, the typical image that comes up is that of an older white man or a young white woman. Unfortunately, this is more often accurate than not. A recent study from the American Psychological Association on the demographics of the U.S. psychology workforce between 2005 and 2013 showed that 83.6% of the workforce were white, followed by 5.3% blacks/African Americans, 5.0% Hispanics, and 4.3% Asians, which is considerably less diverse than the overall U.S. workforce. This can be a problem – a diverse pool of therapists is especially important to a diverse client population. Studies have shown that clients whose therapists match their racial and ethnic identity have a greater sense of trust toward their therapist as well as a greater perceived benefit of therapy than those who don’t have similarly matched therapists. While it is important that we all have some degree of cultural competence, there is a special connection and understanding among those from similar communities that simply cannot be replaced.

In order to optimize mental health outcomes with therapy, it is important to find a good fit when it comes to working with a therapist. Jeff Baker, a black therapist from the LGBTQ community and mental health activist, recognizes that his strongest relationships are with some of his black clients, some of his queer clients, and all of his black queer clients. In his post on TeenVogue, he discusses how much one’s identity shapes one’s therapeutic experience, and he has compiled a list of directories of therapists and organizations from minority populations so that clients can find the resources to best meet their needs.

Here are a few directories from his list:

This SOVA blog post was inspired by Jeff Baker’s post on TeenVogue, “52 Mental Health Resources for Disabled People, POC, LGBTQ Folks, and More.” To see the original post and access his full list of culturally specific and general directories, check out his post here.

Do you have a therapist? Are they the same identity as you? If not, do you wish you had a therapist from your same community or culture? How much does identity matter to you when finding a good therapist? Please share your experiences or thoughts below!

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Cleaning Up Your Social Media

October 31, 2019 in Social Media Guide

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by social media. With all the different kinds of accounts we can have, the way we can rely on the number of likes and comments we get, and the tendency we have to compare ourselves to others about what we post, social media can heighten feelings of anxiety and/or depression. It doesn’t help that people sometimes endlessly scroll through their social media during depressive episodes or times of increased anxiety, because that’s really all their brains have the energy to do.

One piece of advice that’s usually given to handle the mental health and social media balance is to try going off the grid. Some people delete all their apps, deactivate, and remove themselves completely from social media. This can work, but because of how much we use technology and social media today, it could lead to feelings of FOMO, which then in turn can also trigger feelings of anxiety and/or depression. 

If you don’t want to completely remove yourself from social media however (and that’s completely understandable – social media is a major part of everyday life now), there are still a few other options you can try if you either want to cut down your social media use or make it a space that you feel less anxious in.

For example, you can Marie Kondo your feed. Look at some of the accounts or people you follow and see if they make you inspired or happy when seeing their content, or if they do the opposite and make you feel bad about yourself for any reason. If it’s the latter, then maybe it’s best to unfollow them. Some sites also have tools that let you mute or silence accounts so you don’t see any of their content on the explore page or if others you follow share their content. 

Another method is deciding which social media accounts are worth having. Instead of going completely off of the grid, you can temporarily deactivate or permanently delete accounts that you don’t use as often or feel like don’t contribute anything to you. It could be that old Facebook account that you haven’t touched or a twitter account that makes you feel overwhelmed with the amount of discourse that always seems to appear. According to a report about teen social media use in the UK, nearly 1 in 5 teenagers have removed certain social media apps. It’s not uncommon to either give this a trial run to see if you can do without some accounts, and you can always add it back if you do find joy in it. 

You don’t have to be limited to these options, of course. Regardless, everyone has a way to find a balance in their social media use.

Have you ever removed or deactivated a social media account? What kind of account was it? Why? How did you feel after doing so?

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Making Opening a New Tab an Activity

October 25, 2019 in LINKS

We realistically spend a lot of time on the internet. While part of that time is spent on the phone, we’re usually glued to our computers and laptops in some way. Whether that be for doing research for school, googling something for work, or just having a place to watch videos, taking quizzes, or talking to friends online, the internet is as present in our lives as breathing, and it’s easy to end up spending hours on it.

Using the internet often means a buildup of tabs, and you can suddenly find yourself drowning in multitudes of them that you don’t even remember opening. For those who use Google Chrome, there are a number of browser extensions available to add to the internet experience. While some of these can include organizing tabs (and therefore make things a little less clustered and stressful), there are also many that can make opening a new tab something to look forward to doing. Browser extensions to change a new tab’s appearance not only take a break from the dull grey look, but some are purposefully created for stress relief and to briefly ease the mind. It can be a nice surprise when you need to open a new tab in the middle of a long study session, or even serve as a reminder to take a brief pause after spending hours online without a break.

The kinds of extensions are endless, but here are a few that are specifically made to help with stress relief and mental health:

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Tabby Cat: While not necessarily for mental health, Tabby Cat follows the animal theme and provides cute animated cats, all differently named and themed, simply being cute each time they show up. They’re almost always smiling, which can of course be contagious.

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Delight: By featuring timelapsed videos of nature around the world, this extension is incredibly calming. Think of it like a nature documentary without the music or commentary, but with the same lulling and sleep inducing effect. The imagery is gorgeous, and it’s also a reminder that even when things are tough, the world keeps moving.

Calm: If you find yourself mindlessly cycling through websites, this tab extension almost serves as a blacklist. However, instead of completely blocking you from the website, you’ll be redirected to a page with a bubble, reminding you to take a breath before proceeding. Here, you can take a moment to decide if you really do want to visit the site again, or even prepare yourself if you know it’s something that will stress you out.

Do you use tab extensions? Do you think that they’d be useful? What other kinds of tab extensions do you think would help with stress relief?

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Would You Give Your Parents Access to Your Social Media?

October 24, 2019 in Social Media Guide

Like it or not, we’re all on social media in some way. Despite the large amount of sites and platforms available, the chances that you have an account on the same platform as your parent is pretty likely. You could both be on Facebook, even if you might not have touched yours in months (or even years), or you may both have Instagram accounts. You might be following each other, or your parent may not know that your account exists at all.

Even if you don’t have accounts on the same platform, your parent is likely also using social media in some way.

It can be difficult, stressful, and even infuriating knowing that your parent is also active online. You may feel like you want to know what they’re doing on their accounts – what if they’re saying things about or posting photos of you without your permission? What if they’re saying something that you might not agree with? This can be particularly more daunting for parents: as adolescents today, you’re growing up with the Internet and navigating who you are and are probably spending a lot of your time socializing and talking with others online.

This can also be daunting for adolescents too. Because you/they might spend so much time online, you may be sensitive or self-conscious about what about you goes up, which includes what you feel might be embarrassing photos that parents post about them or stories that parents share that you don’t want getting around.

So is it fair for parents to be able to see what their child is doing and to post about their child? Is there truly a perfect social media experience that makes both adolescents and their parents happy?

Ultimately, it’s a case-by-case experience. There are some trends on parent and adolescent feelings about their social media use, however.

One survey found that there is a fear among parents about how their children use social media, though their biggest concern is that they spend too much time on their phone compared to things like decreased communication skills and being cyberbullied. When asked about what they wished their parents knew about how they used social media however, teens said they’re going to be online no matter what. They have fake accounts, multiple devices, and use social media as an outlet when they’re frustrated and upset. They do and use all of these even if parents try to take various methods to monitor them.

But even if adolescents don’t want their parents accessing their social media – and have ways to get around it – that doesn’t mean that they’re not willing to talk about social media use with their parents. Adolescents are fine with having conversations about how to use social media (but they say to try not to make it awkward). Conversations about social media access and how parents should be involved are possible, but they have to be fair, acknowledge both the good and bad about social media, and discuss why adolescents like using these sites.

Most parents also appear to be confident that they can at least guide their child to make good and safe decisions online, even if the most action they take when monitoring is simply visiting the websites their children use. 

Knowing and acknowledging that adolescents aren’t just using social media to engage in unsafe and risky behavior and parents aren’t trying to dictate what their child can do are just a few steps both groups can take to have a fair discussion about how both can use social media in a way that is enjoyable for everyone.

Have you ever had a conversation with your parents about how you use social media? Do you think that age plays a factor in what you think your parents can see or not?

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Bringing Some Color In

October 18, 2019 in LINKS

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There are many outlets to take advantage of if you need a distraction that go beyond procrastination purposes. These kinds of situations can include  sitting on public transit, waiting for a doctor’s appointment, or those times when anxiety can feel so overwhelming that you it can seem like you’re frozen, itching to do something to make the feeling go away. One of the most simplest and convenience ways to waste a little bit of time and keep yourself busy is through the infinite number of games available through the app stores on your smartphone.

While some are designed specifically for stress relief purposes, some simply end up being that way. This can be through the low stakes involved (such as the levels not being timed) or the minimal thinking required. One such game is I Love Hue, which is based on organization and color. Your goal is to move around scrambled colored tiles so that they create a gradient, which can seem complicated, but can feel incredibly satisfying once a pattern begins to emerge. Not all of the tiles need to be moved, and some are locked with a black dot to serve as reference points.

The game has an overall tranquil vibe to it, with soft sounds and pleasing, supportive words like “magnificent” when you finish a level and “mystic” and “prophet” to refer to the level types. The colors are also soft as well as aesthetically pleasing, and can also feel a little educational, helping your eyes recognize the subtle differences in colors better (Is this red-orange? Or orange-red?). There is a slightly competitive component to it too, as each level shows the average number of steps people take to complete it, which can be a bonus for those who want to build up their motivation towards another task.

The game is free and available on both the App Store and Google Play.

Would you consider playing a game like I Love Hue? How do you think puzzles help with stress? How do you think colors help with stress?

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Cringe Humor and Embracing the Awkward Online

October 17, 2019 in Social Media Guide

We talked about how exactly we use humor and laughter as a coping mechanism for mental health on Monday. Of course, everyone finds different things amusing (memes and self-deprecating humor are two topics we’ve covered before), but cringe humor has started to become more and more popular among adolescents on social media.

Cringe humor is kind of a combination of both memes and self-deprecating humor. It thrives off of awkwardness and getting strong reactions from whoever is watching or engaging with the humor. 

The best example of cringe humor? TikTok. That strange video platform that no one, including its users, can really, truly define. As a video uploading site, the kind of content that goes up there can vary, but what people usually associate it with are those odd lip-synching videos and strange activities out in public where they disrupt otherwise normal routines. It’s reminiscent of Vine from a few years ago – short videos that are ready to be meme’d at any moment – but has the addition of filters and more than 6 seconds to do something ridiculous.

Michael Scott (The Office)

Cringe humor has been around for a while though. In a way, it’s the 21st century version of slapstick humor, where someone slipping on a banana peel or getting pied on the face is funny to us. The Office is incredibly well-known for its cringe humor (especially with Michael Scott), so it’s no wonder that the younger generation that actively uses TikTok is discovering the sitcom and is obsessed with it, despite it first airing 15 years ago.

At the end of it all, cringe humor is someone openly putting themselves out there knowing fully well that they’re doing something silly and embarrassing, and this vulnerability can lighten situations, especially in current times when teens and adolescents have been feeling anxious and hopeless. Cringe humor through outlets like TikTok and The Office compilations are short and accessible, and at the end of the day are just silly and can provide a quick distraction for some when everything else can feel overwhelming. 

The vulnerability that others put out by engaging in cringe humor can inspire us to embrace the awkwardness too. Although it’s probably not to the same degree, seeing others put themselves out there in a silly way can have us look into the things that we’re self-conscious or anxious about when it comes to our own personality and come to terms with it.

We can’t be perfect (no one is) and it can get really anxiety-inducing trying to have that composed appearance all the time. Cringe humor shows us that if others are willing to drop that facade and goof off and put what others thinks are our flaws out in the open, then we can too. 

Do you watch TikTok? Do you like cringe humor? What ways do you think you can embrace your imperfections?

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It’s Kind of Funny That…

October 14, 2019 in Be Positive

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You’ve probably heard the phrase before: laughter is the best medicine. While it may not be the cure for any disease, it helps relieve some of the pain that can come with them. This includes the pain that can come with mental illness as well. There have been studies that have shown that laughing and humor can decrease stress hormones, and by helping to produce a more comfortable environment, can ease anxieties and help those who struggle in social settings feel more at ease. It has also been shown to help with self-esteem and motivation as well.

If you’re a student, humor in the classroom can help you be more productive and be a better learner too. A teacher using humor can help build their relationship with their students and have them feel comforted by the fact that teachers can mistakes too, and it can also be used as a tool to enhance participation and class involvement, helping those who may be more introverted speak up more.

Laughing itself can have a positive effect on the brain and your physical health too. Laughter can produce endorphins and can have an influence on blood pressure, heart rate, and physical temperature.

Comedy takes form in many different ways: stand-up, gags, puns, sitcoms, and so on. People can use humor as a way of coping, such as twisting a potentially embarrassing situation to work in their favor, or by finding comedians who have gone through similar experiences as them and tell the stories in a way that they can relate to.

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Even if you don’t like to make jokes or produce comedy yourself, you can still engage in funny situations to help ease stressors and feel better. Watching TV shows or Netflix comedy specials that are similar to your sense of humor can help you feel better, or even looking up memes and Vine compilations online can provide some comfort. If you’re sarcastic, you may enjoy more British humor, while those who like puns have a lot of options to find “dad jokes” online.

What’s important to remember, however, is that not all types of humor are created equal. Some kinds of humor can actually make you feel worse about yourself. This includes self-deprecating humor, the type where you make fun of yourself. Pointing out these flaws about yourself may seem like a way of coping at first, but it can still stay with you and remind you of the negative things you view about yourself. Other types of humor may come at the expense of others, which have been shown to decrease social support and can further distance groups that are already marginalized.

Not only do humor and laughing have an effect on your mental health and how comfortable you feel in a situation, but when done right, it’s fun. What’s better than witnessing the antics of others or hearing a really funny story, or being around people that make you laugh so hard that your cheeks start to hurt?

Do you like comedy? What are your favorite types? Do you have any shows, movies, or stand-up comics that you recommend?

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“When I Came Out”

October 11, 2019 in LINKS

It kind of makes sense that National Coming Out Day is the day after World Mental Health Day. Mental health and mental illness are almost always tied to marginalized groups, with those who identify as LGBT being no exception. You’re probably somewhat aware of the staggering differences in statistics between queer people and those who are cisgender and/or heterosexual (if you want to check out the specifics, you can do so here), especially in queer youth as they try to navigate these identities.

There aren’t that many statistics about queer mental health after coming out. Naturally, they can differ from person to person. Some find being out to be liberating, while others use it as a platform for LGBT advocacy. Others have talked about how negative school environments have impacted them, but support systems to those they trust make the biggest difference. 

We wanted to highlight one specific website: When I Came Out. Here, people write anonymous, quick stories about an instance where they came out and how it affected them. The stories differ not just in reactions but how people came out (one person did so through a spoken word poem in class, another did so with a pun to their best friend). While not every story has a happy ending, it’s a safe place where queer people can open up and talk through their feelings. 

When I Came Out

Most of the stories are by teenagers, but there are some as young as 10 leaving stories and some in their late 20s (there’s even a story from a 67 year old!). There’s a search button, and with almost 2,000 stories, you can likely find something that’s specific to you and remind you that you’re not alone.

Of course, coming out isn’t a one-time only event. Queer people are continuously coming to new people they meet, or may be opening up to one person at a time. Everyone has their own journey and steps that they have to take, but learning and seeing that things do get better and that someone who shares your sexuality and/or gender identity have a positive experience after coming out can make a huge difference.

(Also, if you’re questioning or want to feel as safe as possible if the conditions for you aren’t the greatest, simply hit the “escape” button on your keyboard and the site immediately takes you to both Google and weather.com so no one can see that you were ever on)

If you identify as queer, what advice do you have to share if you came out? What are your experiences with people – both with strangers and with those who you’re close with?

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