SOVA Blog

by Moderator ★

Productive Anxiety

April 16, 2025 in Be Positive

Having anxiety can mean that completing even the simplest task seems impossible. Even simple tasks like opening up that initial tab to start researching for a paper or just taking a deep breath can be terrifying, because taking that first step forward to begin something you’ve been dreading can be so intimidating.

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The feelings associated with anxiety and during an anxiety attack – rapid heart beats, being on edge, having trouble concentrating on anything – can take over the actual task at hand making it seem like you’re never going to get those things done. It doesn’t help either that those who have Type A and perfectionist traits are likely to have some form of anxiety, and can get so stressed about doing something exactly perfect that they can get too anxious to even start. This can also make them even more anxious because of the guilt they have for not working.

Despite all of this, if you have anxiety, you can still accomplish the things you want and have to, despite these overwhelming feelings. One good tool is to organize yourself: writing down exactly what needs to be done and the steps you need to get there can put things in perspective, and for all you know, it’s likely that there’s even less that you have to do than you thought!

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You can also try “anxious reappraisal.” Anxiety and excitement are both arousing emotions, making your heart beat faster and gets your adrenaline pumping. However, where excitement is a fun feeling, anxiety…isn’t so much. Anxious reappraisal reframes the negative feelings about a task by having you say that you’re excited out loud. Those who repeated “I’m excited” before doing a task came across as more confident and calmer compared to those who said “I’m anxious” before doing the same thing. The people who said “I’m excited” were still nervous, but saying the sentence out loud reframes the activity as something to look forward to.

Other ways to make your anxiety productive can include thinking of the good things that doing the task will accomplish, finding a mantra to motivate you and repeat when you feel your anxiety spike, and even hiding your phone. Your anxiety may not just be about your assignment, but could also be tied to expecting a notification or missing something online, and putting your phone away can help you focus more on your assignment and focus less on potential distractions.

Trying to get started on any task is difficult, especially when it’s one that you consider to be important and want to do well on. There’s no perfect way to go about combating that anxiety, but these are some tips you can try to help with that first step.

Do you have any tips about how to get started on an important assignment when you have anxiety? How can you get excited about things that stress you out?

Originally Posted by Moderator ★ · April 8, 2019

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by Moderator ★

Nah, therapy is not for me

April 7, 2025 in Uncategorized

Studies show when people have a bad experience with therapy it can make them have a bad attitude about therapy in general. Sometimes I tell my patients that therapy could help them, and they tell me, “nah, not for me.” It totally makes sense, though, if they had a bad experience before. One time, I had a bad experience at a fast food restaurant which shall remain nameless, and I do NOT want to go back there!

What are some reasons you or others have had negative experiences with therapy?

Here are a few examples you may relate to:

The first time you went, it wasn’t your decision.

Going to therapy can help with a lot of different problems you may have – but if you were made to go or it felt like it was a punishment versus a decision you made to become more healthy, you might have a negative attitude about it. My mom used to make me pick weeds in our driveway, and I kind of have a bad attitude about gardening! Even though a lot of people enjoy it.

The therapist and you did not seem to connect.

We know a big reason therapy works is the therapeutic alliance, which we wrote about in a prior post. If you feel like you didn’t connect with your first therapist—or especially if you didn’t feel like they cared about you, that might have been a tough experience for you. Telling someone your deepest thoughts makes you vulnerable and if it didn’t work the first time, maybe you don’t want to take that risk again.

Your parent was too involved.

Maybe you think therapy wasn’t helpful if your parent was always around. You couldn’t let yourself be honest with the therapist.

You felt betrayed.

If you received therapy as a child and the therapist was worried about abuse, that is something that they have to report to the state for your safety. But when you are a kid in the mix of it, sometimes you feel like your trust was betrayed. That can be hard to deal with.

The thing is – one bad experience does not mean the next one will be. And your experience as a young person or child may be different when you are older. There are things you can do to help make sure that your next therapy experience is a good one. We know therapy works and can get you to better mental health.

If you had a bad experience before, but want to try therapy again, try these ideas:

  • make a list of the pros and cons about going to therapy—go over your list with someone you trust like a supportive adult or your primary care doctor and together, make a decision if this is a next best step for you
  • at the first session, tell your therapist what your expectations and hopes are from therapy
  • if you feel like you and your therapist don’t connect, ask for a referral to see someone else – therapists are used to this as everyone is different and sometimes certain personalities don’t click
  • if your parent is involved, talk to them about what you expect out of therapy and how you’d like them to be involved. if they would like to be very involved, talk to your therapist about whether it would be a better idea to have a family therapist in addition to individual therapy
  • at the first session, talk to your therapist about the limits of confidentiality—what do they always keep private and what if anything, are they not allowed to keep private

Do you have any other examples of negative experiences you have had? Or tips you have about making the next experience positive?

Repost, original by Dr. Rad ★ · May 18, 2016

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by Moderator ★

Discussing Mental Health Through… Memes?

April 2, 2025 in Social Media Guide

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Memes are an undeniable staple of Internet culture. If you browse around many websites and social media platforms, you will almost certainly come across image macros, Tumblr posts, viral tweets, and other content that has been circulating the web.

The majority of modern memes are captioned photos that are intended to be funny, “often as a way to publicly ridicule human behavior.“

Memes have become a method of describing different experiences and aspects of our lives in a humorous way—including mental health. In fact, mental health is one of the most common meme subjects that I’ve seen on the Internet.

On the surface, making jokes regarding mental health may sound distasteful. But when someone with a mental illness creates a meme about their condition, it may add a little laughter to their own day or even help others to understand what goes on in their mind.

Like many other teens and young adults, I shamelessly enjoy and share some of the memes that appear on my social media feeds. The whole phenomenon of memes is really intriguing to me—it’s fascinating that so many people will laugh at or relate to a quotation or picture and then add their own content to keep the humor going.

I see memes as a creative, low-pressure way of expressing our perspectives. Yes, some memes are made solely for levity, but others can convey deeper trains of thought. Memes allow us to share observations, feelings, and social commentary in a way that others are more likely to understand and find interesting

So, how is mental health discussed through memes? I think memes are a sort of coping mechanism that allows one to laugh at oneself. They make me smile and think, “Haha, I can totally see myself in that picture!” And apparently many other people do as well, considering the prevalence of posts like these.

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Of course, it’s fair to say that mental-illness memes trivialize serious conditions, and some people may find them oversimplifying or offensive. But nearly all of the memes I’ve come across are pretty relatable, and effective humor often has a considerable degree of truth. Describing my struggles in humorous terms is a way to laugh a little.

Additionally, since memes are a sort of language of their own, they can be a useful way to tell others how your illness affects you. It can be difficult or uncomfortable to tell others how you feel, but a meme might be able to illustrate a feeling or experience in a way that others can understand. This can even be the first step to having more open conversations about your mental health—it can help you ease into a difficult topic.

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A final word of advice: as with all Internet content, it’s easy to fall into the bottomless pit of mindlessly surfing the web for hours and hours, which is not conducive to good mental health. Self-care is essential for all Internet activities, which includes spending time away from the screen and taking a break if you come across something that makes you uncomfortable or upset. And while memes can bring a laugh every now and then, it’s important to remember that you are not defined by the attitudes expressed in them, just as you are not defined by your illness. Memes aren’t a well-rounded way of describing a mental illness. Real life is more complex than a few words copied onto a picture, and it’s important to be honest with yourself and others about how you’re feeling, rather than trying to project the entirety of your illness into a simple several-word meme.

What is your experience with memes? Do you think they’re helpful and relieve tension, or do you think they shame people with mental illness—or both? Let us know in the comments!

Repost, previously posted by dancingthroughlife · August 9, 2018

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by Moderator ★

How to Use Free Time to Fuel Positivity

March 24, 2025 in Be Positive

As the school year soon begins to wind down (or you may have very recently finished), you may find yourself thinking about how much free time you have coming up. Of course, this can be a great thing: you have some time where you’re not burdened by homework and assignments and for possibly the first time in a while, you aren’t restricted to a Monday-Friday schedule. It can also be stressful, and a lack of structure and schedule can actually increase symptoms of anxiety, especially for students on summer vacation.

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Of course, this isn’t to say that you have to book summer classes or stay in an academic headspace year-round (that can be anxiety-inducing too!). Studies have found that leisurely activities increase mental health benefits, and the results are stronger when they provide some sort of daily structure during long breaks or stretches of time. These may even have greater effects if these leisure activities help put you in a positive mood and are meant to increase happiness.

Not everyone’s summer is the same, and with a lack of structure, things can change everyday. Here are a couple of suggestions to add some sort of schedule depending on how much time you have to yourself on a regular basis to help ease any anxiety that may occur from feeling like you have nothing yet everything to do. These shouldn’t be treated as set schedules, since summer is unpredictable, but even doing the same sort of activity around the same time a couple of times of week can help give you a sense of a routine.

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If you have 5 minutes a day…
You can fill out a gratitude prompt or take the time to do some brief meditation and deep breathing. We’ve talked about both before if you need an app or any other references.

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If you have an hour a day…
You can take the time to do some sort of physical activity. It could be something like going to a class at the gym or your local rec center (if it’s safe enough to do so indoors), or even putting up a cycle of Youtube videos about yoga, lifting dumbbells, or whatever you have on hand. If you can’t or don’t want to be super active, you can also use this time to go for a walk outside.

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If you have the whole day…
You can do everything listed above! If you’re able to, however, you can block out the same time every day to read a book, block out another chunk of time later that to explore a new, relaxing hobby (think knitting or baking), and you can even schedule time to dedicate to watching videos online. If you live in a city or an area with a lot of places to explore, you can dedicate a couple of hours a day by exploring a new neighborhood or trying a new coffee shop.

Do you have any plans for the summer? How do you feel about giving yourself some sort of schedule over the summer? Do you notice your mood or mental health changing during long breaks?

Originally Posted by Moderator ★ · April 26, 2021

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by Moderator ★

Thanks to TikTok, I Started Journaling Everyday

March 20, 2025 in Social Media Guide

At the beginning of March, I came across a TikTok that expressed that this account was going to do a 31 day journaling challenge with a new prompt everyday for the month. Since I have been wanting to get into journaling myself, I thought this would be a fun way to try it out.

I told myself that each prompt for each day I would have to fill up just one page of my journal and that whatever I thought of first will be what I write, no second guessing what to put down onto paper. Most times I journaled in the morning, but also tried at various points of the day to see when I liked to do it best.

Now that I am coming to an end of the 31 days, I feel as though I have really slated into a new habit of journaling a little bit everyday. It has something that has grown with me this past month and sitting down to think about the  prompts not only gives me dedicated time to myself, but gets my thoughts and feelings out on paper without judgement. I feel as though I have found some clarity in things as well that have been in my head for a while. The prompts have allowed me to reflect on various aspects of my life and myself, such as “How do I recharge?” or “I give myself permission not to know and let go of…”.

While TikTok is fun and has numerous videos that have made me laugh, I am glad that I came across this 31 day journaling challenge. To me, social media does have its rightful place in mental health and personal development if you try to find the resources on there. I hope that I am able to continue to journal after the end of March, especially since there are so many websites out there that have various journal prompts to search, as well. Who knows, maybe a new healthy habit will come from TikTok as well?

Do you use TikTok? What kind of content do you follow or what shows up on your For You Page? Do you ever get content about mental health or coping mechanisms to try out?

Originally Posted by ginger55 · April 1, 2021

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by Moderator ★

woman crying in a shop

It’s OK to cry!

February 27, 2025 in Be Positive

As a new school year begins, things are already hectic. Where are my classes? Will my books be expensive? Are my teachers understanding? The questions race by faster than I can handle, and just because the school year is starting doesn’t mean that my other problems just go away.

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So I sat down and cried.

In that moment, I felt a great release from all of the stress I was carrying and I just let it flow out. Although crying doesn’t solve my problems or make school any less stressful, it is helpful. It allows me to stop and remember that I am human and things get hard sometimes.

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It is okay to cry sometimes. In fact, I would say it’s necessary to cry sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with crying regardless of gender, race, age, etc. Sometimes you just have to throw up your hands and let the tears do their work.

Personally, for me, crying is a way to disconnect from the “real world” and reconsider my priorities. Don’t look at crying as a negative thing! It can be very beneficial and help you find your balance in an unbalanced world.

Next time you feel like you’re holding it in, remember that it’s okay to cry. Cry to yourself, cry to others, cry for help, cry just for the sake of crying. Just make sure that you do cry, because you’ve earned it.

Do you cry often? When was the last time that you cried? How does it feel when you do?

(Repost, originally by red9995 · September 9, 2019)

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by Moderator ★

one woman in uniform standing in front of others in similar uniform, standing out

You Are Special

February 20, 2025 in Be Positive, Educate Yourself

You are special. 

This is a phrase my therapist has to repeat to me often.

Why?

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Because the pressure of society for us all to conform to some standard “norm” is immense in this day and age, especially with the rise of social media. However, as a recovering eating disorder patient, I need to stand up against the “norm” because that is what got me into my predicament to begin with. I was trying to fit into the “normal” standards of beauty such as, “the thinner you are the more beautiful you are.” I was trying to fit into the “normal” standards for those passionate about fitness which were, you need to put your exercise routine as your first priority everyday and sacrifice anything you need to in order to get a workout in. I was trying to fit into the “normal” standards for a graduate student: just put your head down and grind out work for 5 years straight working 50+ hours a week and never take a holiday let alone a lunch break.

But all that got me was an incredible amount of stress and anxiety that I internalized, which left me vulnerable to an eating disorder that promised to take my anxiety and stress away if I did what it told me to.

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When it all came to a head, and I knew I could no longer continue working the way I was and also seriously seek treatment for my eating disorder, I requested to take some time off from graduate school in order to have more time to recover and get well. Talk about stepping outside the norm!! I felt like such a failure.

No one else in my cohort of incoming students had to take time off for their mental health. “Why was I so weak?” Is the question I kept berating myself with until I realized something… all of that negative self-talk was coming from my eating disorder which was wrapped up with my awful inner critic. Those around me, who knew me, were all saying how brave I was for putting my mental health first and what a strong choice it was to do so.

I realized that just because I was the only one stepping out and saying I needed help and time to heal, didn’t make it wrong and it didn’t make me a failure. Actually I think that my life is going to be so much more fulfilling and successful because I did take time to care for my mental health and learn how to prioritize myself and my self care over everything, including work and people I love. What good am I if I have nothing to give to others or my work?

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“You can’t put from an empty cup.” Burnout is real in our culture and it is because people think they are invincible and can push themselves to wit’s end but we are all human and we all have limits, and it’s okay that those limits are different for everyone. We need to learn how to respect one another and our individual mental health needs.

Do you need to call in and take a sick day because you are overwhelmed by anxiety? That’s okay.

Do you need to take a long weekend because you woke up and are overwhelmed with depression? That’s okay.

Mental illness is just as real as any other illness. Just because you can’t see it or quantify it doesn’t mean it isn’t real and you should disregard it.

Mental illness isn’t something you can just “will” yourself out of. It takes time. It takes therapy. It takes changing thought patterns. It takes personal reflection. It sometimes takes medication. And lastly, again, it takes time. Be patient and kind with yourself. Take one step at a time, one day at a time. One day you’ll look back and see all the progress you’ve made through your perseverance.

And when you start negatively comparing yourself to those around you who do not struggle with a mental illness, remind yourself that you are special, and you are worth caring for.

What pressure have you put on yourself to meet the standards of others? How did that effect you? Have you ever had to quit something or change your routine to address these issues?

(Repost originally by sunsetlover · March 9, 2021)

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by Moderator ★

stepping up stairs of subway

Stepping Away

February 13, 2025 in Educate Yourself

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Have you ever felt anxious or overwhelmed when standing in a crowd of people? If so, how do you handle these types of situations? Do you continue to stand around and feel anxious? Do you excuse yourself, find a quiet spot, and recover?

One piece of advice I received a few years back involves taking care of one’s mental health by “stepping away” from stressful moments to recuperate, or “center” one’s self.

For the past nine years I’ve been working in public service jobs—this includes positions such as customer service desk employee, retail sales associate, and so forth. One thing I’ve realized since that first year of working in a high-volume (or extremely busy) bookstore is that I tend to get stressed after a few hours of helping customers back-to-back. I believe this happens because I’m more of an “introvert” or “home-body” and tend to keep to myself. I do love going out with friends and having a good time but I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m okay and content spending time by myself, not always being surrounded by other people. So, it only makes sense that I need to take a few minutes to recollect myself in order to handle all of the customers coming in and out of stores.

The act of “stepping away” is something that can be used in a variety of different situations. For example, if you’re in class and there are too many students speaking at once, causing your feelings of anxiety to increase, then it’s important to raise your hand and ask the teacher or professor if you can use the restroom or leave the classroom to stop by a near water fountain. Even if you aren’t actually using the restroom or getting a drink of water it’s important to realize when you’re feeling anxious so that you can “get some fresh air” or take a short walk whenever it’s needed – as long as you aren’t goofing off while doing so!

Try to remember that every person has a unique personality. Sometimes it’s necessary to acknowledge that, and to understand that it’s okay to take a step away from someone or from a group of people as a way to manage from those feelings of being overwhelmed, stressed, or anxious.

It’s important to take care of yourself and you shouldn’t feel bad or guilty if you need to step away from the noise!

In the meantime, check out App Games for Anxiety for a short list of fun ways to take your mind off stressful situations.

And this article talks more about pressing the “pause button” when you feel anxious.

What strategies do you use to calm down when you feel anxious? Which of these are similar to “stepping away”? Tell us in the comments!

(Repost originally by kbriluna · December 14, 2017)

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by Moderator ★

bullet journal spread of month of september

Bullet Journaling Beyond Organization

February 6, 2025 in Educate Yourself

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In the past few years, using a bullet journal in lieu of a planner has boomed in popularity, particularly among adolescents. This is partly due to social media sites such as Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube (often found under the #bujo or #bulletjournal hashtag), where people can turn to for ideas and where to start, if not an aesthetic to hopefully achieve. They’re colorful, creative, and an opportunity for people to have their journal truly be a reflection of them. However, though it is mostly used as a means of writing down homework assignments, future goals and tasks, and an organized place to jot down ideas and sketch, more people are finding that it can be used as an aide with their mental health.

While journaling in itself is often associated with stress relief and mental health, free writing what goes on in your head, bullet journaling takes a slightly different approach. Bullet journaling is ultimately used as a tool for organization, and having a place for decluttering your mind can help ease your anxiety. Once your tasks and assignments are laid out in a way that feels achievable, it can give a sense of comfort and security.

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Bullet journaling can also be used as a habit tracker. Here, you can list what you did that day, from the mundane as coffee intake to the accomplishments such as working out. In conjunction, you can also have a section for a mood tracker for the day, making a note about how you’ve felt that day, maybe on a scale from 1-10, maybe with a simple smiley or frowny face. You can use either or both to detect patterns in your behavior or mood, possibly finding out if anything is specifically triggering your anxiety or depression.

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Of course, as a journal, it can also be used as a place to write down how you’re feeling that day, and a private space to let your thoughts run free. You can also use it to sketch or even doodle, where you can use the space to keep your hands busy doing something if you find yourself getting anxious.

Bullet journaling is meant to be used as a journal without restrictions, giving the user the freedom to use it for whatever they want and need. While the options of what you choose to use it for are limitless, there are just as many ways that it can help with your mental health. Whether that is through an intentional mood tracking chart or unintentional relief with planning out important dates and due dates, starting a bullet journal can be a tool that you can incorporate in your daily routine. It’s important to keep in mind however that it may not be for everyone, and if you feel pressured to upkeep a journal, whether bullet or otherwise, you don’t have to continue.

Interested? Check out the social media links above or the ones below if you want a place to get started:

https://bulletjournal.com/pages/learn
https://www.buzzfeed.com/annaborges/all-the-bullet-journal-ideas
https://medium.com/@melodywilding/bullet-journaling-for-beginners-and-impatient-unartistic-people-like-me-6efd7ee97f0e

Do you bullet journal? Would you consider bullet journaling? What do you think are the benefits of having one?

(Repost by Moderator ★ · August 3, 2021)

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by Moderator ★

man relaxing with arms crossed behind head

A Reminder to Rest

January 17, 2025 in Be Positive

We live in a go go go society. We always feel like we should be doing something, whether it’s completing the next project on our to-do list, doing some sort of self-improvement, or keeping our social battery charged (yes, even for introverts).

For some people, keeping busy is great! When we intentionally put our minds and bodies into activities that we enjoy, it can feel fulfilling, productive, and rewarding. However, the line between positive productivity and burnout can blur pretty quickly, especially when considering that we live in a culture that encourages keeping busy and shames taking longer breaks and anything considered to be “lazy.”

The line blurs even more when factoring in mental health and illness as well. For example, those with mental illnesses may choose to be busy as a coping mechanism because they’re afraid of being left alone with their thoughts when doing nothing, but that just makes the crash when they’re inevitably by themselves that much harder. Others may benefit from having an organized schedule and always having something planned, but missing one task or having something disrupted can make the organizer feel guilty and spiral.

Now that we’re in the midst of summer, you may feel like you’re “allowed” to be lazy right now and taking some time for yourself. However, breaks, rest, and “laziness” aren’t restricted to just three months out of the year. It’s always important to give yourself a break – and for those who do keep schedules and their days well-organized, may already have this factored in as a recharge time before going back to their day. But when it comes to rest though, try to keep two things in mind: 

First, rest looks different not just for everyone, but you may need different kinds of rest depending on how you’re feeling. You may choose to go for a walk in the middle of the day if your eyes are physically strained from looking at a screen constantly, or you may need to watch a few episodes of your favorite show if your busyness puts you in a bad mood. Naps are never a bad thing – in fact, they can be beneficial! – so if you can find a time to factor those in too, try to do so.

Second, listen to your body. You may designate a time to take a break, but you shouldn’t sacrifice and push yourself through tasks if you’re feeling exhausted or experiencing any signs of burnout. If you have the opportunity to take a break where you go to school and/or work, see if you email your boss, teacher, and/or professor stating that you need an afternoon, day, or even a couple of days off. If not, the next time you’re free, try to rest how you feel is best for you. You may feel guilty, but give yourself some grace and do your best to remind yourself that the more you resist your body’s warnings, the worse off you’ll feel the next time something like this happens.

(Repost by Moderator ★ · July 19, 2021)

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