SOVA Blog

by Moderator ★

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You Are Special

February 20, 2025 in Be Positive, Educate Yourself

You are special. 

This is a phrase my therapist has to repeat to me often.

Why?

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Because the pressure of society for us all to conform to some standard “norm” is immense in this day and age, especially with the rise of social media. However, as a recovering eating disorder patient, I need to stand up against the “norm” because that is what got me into my predicament to begin with. I was trying to fit into the “normal” standards of beauty such as, “the thinner you are the more beautiful you are.” I was trying to fit into the “normal” standards for those passionate about fitness which were, you need to put your exercise routine as your first priority everyday and sacrifice anything you need to in order to get a workout in. I was trying to fit into the “normal” standards for a graduate student: just put your head down and grind out work for 5 years straight working 50+ hours a week and never take a holiday let alone a lunch break.

But all that got me was an incredible amount of stress and anxiety that I internalized, which left me vulnerable to an eating disorder that promised to take my anxiety and stress away if I did what it told me to.

a woman looking down with a shirt on that says mental health matters

When it all came to a head, and I knew I could no longer continue working the way I was and also seriously seek treatment for my eating disorder, I requested to take some time off from graduate school in order to have more time to recover and get well. Talk about stepping outside the norm!! I felt like such a failure.

No one else in my cohort of incoming students had to take time off for their mental health. “Why was I so weak?” Is the question I kept berating myself with until I realized something… all of that negative self-talk was coming from my eating disorder which was wrapped up with my awful inner critic. Those around me, who knew me, were all saying how brave I was for putting my mental health first and what a strong choice it was to do so.

I realized that just because I was the only one stepping out and saying I needed help and time to heal, didn’t make it wrong and it didn’t make me a failure. Actually I think that my life is going to be so much more fulfilling and successful because I did take time to care for my mental health and learn how to prioritize myself and my self care over everything, including work and people I love. What good am I if I have nothing to give to others or my work?

a woman sitting on a cliff overlooking a long and winding road

“You can’t put from an empty cup.” Burnout is real in our culture and it is because people think they are invincible and can push themselves to wit’s end but we are all human and we all have limits, and it’s okay that those limits are different for everyone. We need to learn how to respect one another and our individual mental health needs.

Do you need to call in and take a sick day because you are overwhelmed by anxiety? That’s okay.

Do you need to take a long weekend because you woke up and are overwhelmed with depression? That’s okay.

Mental illness is just as real as any other illness. Just because you can’t see it or quantify it doesn’t mean it isn’t real and you should disregard it.

Mental illness isn’t something you can just “will” yourself out of. It takes time. It takes therapy. It takes changing thought patterns. It takes personal reflection. It sometimes takes medication. And lastly, again, it takes time. Be patient and kind with yourself. Take one step at a time, one day at a time. One day you’ll look back and see all the progress you’ve made through your perseverance.

And when you start negatively comparing yourself to those around you who do not struggle with a mental illness, remind yourself that you are special, and you are worth caring for.

What pressure have you put on yourself to meet the standards of others? How did that effect you? Have you ever had to quit something or change your routine to address these issues?

(Repost originally by sunsetlover · March 9, 2021)

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by Moderator ★

stepping up stairs of subway

Stepping Away

February 13, 2025 in Educate Yourself

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Have you ever felt anxious or overwhelmed when standing in a crowd of people? If so, how do you handle these types of situations? Do you continue to stand around and feel anxious? Do you excuse yourself, find a quiet spot, and recover?

One piece of advice I received a few years back involves taking care of one’s mental health by “stepping away” from stressful moments to recuperate, or “center” one’s self.

For the past nine years I’ve been working in public service jobs—this includes positions such as customer service desk employee, retail sales associate, and so forth. One thing I’ve realized since that first year of working in a high-volume (or extremely busy) bookstore is that I tend to get stressed after a few hours of helping customers back-to-back. I believe this happens because I’m more of an “introvert” or “home-body” and tend to keep to myself. I do love going out with friends and having a good time but I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m okay and content spending time by myself, not always being surrounded by other people. So, it only makes sense that I need to take a few minutes to recollect myself in order to handle all of the customers coming in and out of stores.

The act of “stepping away” is something that can be used in a variety of different situations. For example, if you’re in class and there are too many students speaking at once, causing your feelings of anxiety to increase, then it’s important to raise your hand and ask the teacher or professor if you can use the restroom or leave the classroom to stop by a near water fountain. Even if you aren’t actually using the restroom or getting a drink of water it’s important to realize when you’re feeling anxious so that you can “get some fresh air” or take a short walk whenever it’s needed – as long as you aren’t goofing off while doing so!

Try to remember that every person has a unique personality. Sometimes it’s necessary to acknowledge that, and to understand that it’s okay to take a step away from someone or from a group of people as a way to manage from those feelings of being overwhelmed, stressed, or anxious.

It’s important to take care of yourself and you shouldn’t feel bad or guilty if you need to step away from the noise!

In the meantime, check out App Games for Anxiety for a short list of fun ways to take your mind off stressful situations.

And this article talks more about pressing the “pause button” when you feel anxious.

What strategies do you use to calm down when you feel anxious? Which of these are similar to “stepping away”? Tell us in the comments!

(Repost originally by kbriluna · December 14, 2017)

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by Moderator ★

bullet journal spread of month of september

Bullet Journaling Beyond Organization

February 6, 2025 in Educate Yourself

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In the past few years, using a bullet journal in lieu of a planner has boomed in popularity, particularly among adolescents. This is partly due to social media sites such as Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube (often found under the #bujo or #bulletjournal hashtag), where people can turn to for ideas and where to start, if not an aesthetic to hopefully achieve. They’re colorful, creative, and an opportunity for people to have their journal truly be a reflection of them. However, though it is mostly used as a means of writing down homework assignments, future goals and tasks, and an organized place to jot down ideas and sketch, more people are finding that it can be used as an aide with their mental health.

While journaling in itself is often associated with stress relief and mental health, free writing what goes on in your head, bullet journaling takes a slightly different approach. Bullet journaling is ultimately used as a tool for organization, and having a place for decluttering your mind can help ease your anxiety. Once your tasks and assignments are laid out in a way that feels achievable, it can give a sense of comfort and security.

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Bullet journaling can also be used as a habit tracker. Here, you can list what you did that day, from the mundane as coffee intake to the accomplishments such as working out. In conjunction, you can also have a section for a mood tracker for the day, making a note about how you’ve felt that day, maybe on a scale from 1-10, maybe with a simple smiley or frowny face. You can use either or both to detect patterns in your behavior or mood, possibly finding out if anything is specifically triggering your anxiety or depression.

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Of course, as a journal, it can also be used as a place to write down how you’re feeling that day, and a private space to let your thoughts run free. You can also use it to sketch or even doodle, where you can use the space to keep your hands busy doing something if you find yourself getting anxious.

Bullet journaling is meant to be used as a journal without restrictions, giving the user the freedom to use it for whatever they want and need. While the options of what you choose to use it for are limitless, there are just as many ways that it can help with your mental health. Whether that is through an intentional mood tracking chart or unintentional relief with planning out important dates and due dates, starting a bullet journal can be a tool that you can incorporate in your daily routine. It’s important to keep in mind however that it may not be for everyone, and if you feel pressured to upkeep a journal, whether bullet or otherwise, you don’t have to continue.

Interested? Check out the social media links above or the ones below if you want a place to get started:

https://bulletjournal.com/pages/learn
https://www.buzzfeed.com/annaborges/all-the-bullet-journal-ideas
https://medium.com/@melodywilding/bullet-journaling-for-beginners-and-impatient-unartistic-people-like-me-6efd7ee97f0e

Do you bullet journal? Would you consider bullet journaling? What do you think are the benefits of having one?

(Repost by Moderator ★ · August 3, 2021)

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by Moderator ★

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A Reminder to Rest

January 17, 2025 in Be Positive

We live in a go go go society. We always feel like we should be doing something, whether it’s completing the next project on our to-do list, doing some sort of self-improvement, or keeping our social battery charged (yes, even for introverts).

For some people, keeping busy is great! When we intentionally put our minds and bodies into activities that we enjoy, it can feel fulfilling, productive, and rewarding. However, the line between positive productivity and burnout can blur pretty quickly, especially when considering that we live in a culture that encourages keeping busy and shames taking longer breaks and anything considered to be “lazy.”

The line blurs even more when factoring in mental health and illness as well. For example, those with mental illnesses may choose to be busy as a coping mechanism because they’re afraid of being left alone with their thoughts when doing nothing, but that just makes the crash when they’re inevitably by themselves that much harder. Others may benefit from having an organized schedule and always having something planned, but missing one task or having something disrupted can make the organizer feel guilty and spiral.

Now that we’re in the midst of summer, you may feel like you’re “allowed” to be lazy right now and taking some time for yourself. However, breaks, rest, and “laziness” aren’t restricted to just three months out of the year. It’s always important to give yourself a break – and for those who do keep schedules and their days well-organized, may already have this factored in as a recharge time before going back to their day. But when it comes to rest though, try to keep two things in mind: 

First, rest looks different not just for everyone, but you may need different kinds of rest depending on how you’re feeling. You may choose to go for a walk in the middle of the day if your eyes are physically strained from looking at a screen constantly, or you may need to watch a few episodes of your favorite show if your busyness puts you in a bad mood. Naps are never a bad thing – in fact, they can be beneficial! – so if you can find a time to factor those in too, try to do so.

Second, listen to your body. You may designate a time to take a break, but you shouldn’t sacrifice and push yourself through tasks if you’re feeling exhausted or experiencing any signs of burnout. If you have the opportunity to take a break where you go to school and/or work, see if you email your boss, teacher, and/or professor stating that you need an afternoon, day, or even a couple of days off. If not, the next time you’re free, try to rest how you feel is best for you. You may feel guilty, but give yourself some grace and do your best to remind yourself that the more you resist your body’s warnings, the worse off you’ll feel the next time something like this happens.

(Repost by Moderator ★ · July 19, 2021)

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by Moderator ★

Coping Cards

November 12, 2024 in Be Positive, Social Media Guide

Positive Affirmations have taken the internet by storm. Chances are you’ve seen them on Pinterest paired with a picture of beautiful scenery in the background. You might be wondering, though, do these positive affirmations work?

Positive Affirmations have the power to help combat negative thoughts. However, the results are mixed. Some may not find broad positive affirmations helpful as they may seem like they don’t fit their situation.

Coping Cards with more personalized statements can be a practical alternative when things get tough.

What are Coping Cards?

Coping Cards are just what they sound like; cards with helpful, self-esteem-boosting statements we can say when feeling anxious or sad. The neat thing about Coping Cards is that you can make unique ones at home.

 All you need are:

  • Notecards, cards, or post-it notes
  • Writing tools (pens, pencils, markers, etc., get creative!)

How to make Coping Cards:

  • Write in your own words.
    • Writing it in your own words will make it easier to remember.
  • Make it personal.
    • Tailor it to what is most relevant to your experience.
  • Keep it realistic.
    • It isn’t realistic to never make a mistake or feel anxious. The pressure to be perfect can generate more anxiety or sadness.
    • Some examples of more realistic coping statements are: “It’s okay to be upset” and “Making a mistake doesn’t make me a bad person.”
  • Keep it present.
    • Write them for the present and use them in the here and now!
  • Make it positive.
    • Write something that is uplifting or practices compassion toward yourself. If it’s hard to think of something, try writing kind, brief statements that you would say to a friend.
      • An example could be: “I deserve to feel okay right now.”
  • Be creative!
    • Don’t be afraid to decorate your coping cards! 

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Some examples of coping statements are:

  • I accept myself as I am.
  • I am doing my best.
  • I’ve survived this before, and I’ll survive this too.
  • I can take as small a step forward as I choose.
  • I am valuable because I am human, alive, and unique.
  • I am worthy of love.

Coping Cards aren’t meant to be a magical fix, but they can be a helpful reminder when feeling overwhelmed or down.

Have you ever made coping cards? If so, what was your experience like? What are some things that help boost your self-esteem

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by Moderator ★

a woman wearing a pink headscarf sitting against a wall with her face down.

Do I blame myself?

October 4, 2024 in Educate Yourself

A common mindset among those who are diagnosed with mental illnesses is wondering if it’s something that they brought onto themselves. There may be guilt associated with it, like the person thinking they did something wrong or ashamed that they didn’t handle past situations well enough.

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One study looked at this in more detail, focusing specifically on adolescents and their beliefs about mental health after being diagnosed with depression. Navigating how you’re feeling and your mental health as an adolescent can be really difficult: this is a stage where you start wondering if what you’re feeling and doing is similar to what your peers are also going through. At this age, you want to fit in and if you don’t, you might think there’s something wrong with you and then you’ll be rejected as a result. This could be why experiencing mental illness symptoms can be scary, especially when you feel like you’re the only one going through them.

Researchers found three common trends when asking adolescents aged 11-17 about their diagnosis and what they think about mental health. These were confusion about why they were depressed, feeling that they were depressed as a result of rejection, victimization, and stress, and that they blamed something inside of themselves for feeling this way.

Many of these adolescents seemed to experience and feel a lot of guilt when managing their feelings about depression. This guilt had come from things like feeling like letting people down and not being good enough, which contributed to their depressive symptoms, or things like feeling guilty that they were being dramatic about something their “teenage phase.”

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Despite these feelings, however, it seemed that a lot of these adolescents wanted to understand other sources for why they were depressed – the study suggests that the self-blame and criticism adolescents place on themselves needs to be addressed, since it could be a barrier for them to seek treatment or further help.

Although it can feel like the feelings associated with depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses, are the result of something you’ve done wrong or that they’re something that no one else is experiencing, results like the ones in the study can remind you that you’re not alone. These are common beliefs when it comes to experiencing symptoms and being diagnosed, but even though these feelings are frequent, they aren’t necessarily true. It’s a difficult process to realize, but mental illness isn’t one’s fault and something they brought onto themselves, and trying to overcome that can make seeking treatment, finding help, and talking to others a little bit easier.

How did you feel when you first started experiencing symptoms? Did you feel like you needed to blame something or find a reason why you were feeling this way? Share your experiences below!

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by Moderator ★

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Challenging Negative Thoughts

October 2, 2024 in Be Positive, Educate Yourself

Stop being so negative! Are these words familiar to you? Everyone has negative thoughts from time to time. Negative thinking is helpful when it protects us from dangerous situations or motivates us to complete tasks. However, when our negative thoughts become constant and unrealistic, they become what is known as a cognitive distortion. Cognitive distortions are sometimes called ‘thought errors’ and can quickly become a habit. Once you can identify automatic negative thoughts you can start to challenge them! 

What are some common thinking errors?

All-or-Nothing Thinking: Sometimes referred to as black-and-white thinking, these thoughts conclude that a situation is either good or bad, with nothing in between. Imagine you are a star student expecting to receive a good grade on a paper you worked hard on. You receive your grade and see that your teacher gave you a C on the paper. A black-and-white thought might be “I did not receive an A on this paper, I’m such a failure.” Challenge this thought: Ask yourself is it that bad, or am I seeing things in black and white? How else can I think about this situation? What would my friend say about this situation?

Overgeneralizing: Overgeneralizing is very similar to exaggerating, it is assuming that something is true in all cases because it was true in one case. For example, imagine yourself presenting in front of your class. After the presentation, you are feeling a little uncomfortable, and you label yourself as being ‘awkward.’ An overgeneralization would be “I was so awkward during my presentation. I am always so awkward.”  Challenge this thought: Ask yourself if you are overgeneralizing the situation. List both the facts of the situation as well as your interpretation to see the full picture. 

Mind Reading: Have you ever passed someone at school or in a store and thought they were giving you a strange look? Maybe you assumed that they were judging you, or that they disliked you for a reason unknown to you.  When you tell someone a joke, and they laugh, you may conclude that they found your joke funny. These are all examples of mind-reading. Mind-reading can be harmful when it always assumes the worst. Challenge this thought: Don’t assume you know what others are thinking. Instead ask yourself: how do I know what this person is thinking? Does assuming I know what they are thinking mean that I am right?

Catastrophizing: Sometimes called magnifying, this thinking error turns little problems into big problems. An example of catastrophizing: “My friend has not answered my text yet, I must have said something to upset them and now they no longer want to be my friend.” Challenge this thought: Try to state only the facts of what you are facing. Instead of the thought shared above, you could tell yourself “My friend has not answered my text message, but that does not mean they are upset with me. If they are upset with me, I can do my best to talk to them about the issue and repair the friendship.” 

As you learn to challenge automatic thoughts, be patient with yourself. It is okay to say at one point in time mind-reading was a coping skill you used while interacting with an unpredictable person in your life. Or maybe you began catastrophizing after going through a traumatic event as a way to protect yourself from further harm. Remember that automatic negative thoughts don’t change overnight. It takes time and practice to create new thought patterns!

Do you find yourself falling into the trap of these thinking errors? How do you challenge your negative thoughts?

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Sleeping better

September 30, 2024 in LINKS

Sleeping patterns and the amount of sleep adolescents get can get jumbled because of mental illness: we’ve also previously talked about “depression naps” and the effects that they can have. Overall, it’s difficult for adolescents to get the recommended amount of sleep they should be getting, and with higher rates of mental illness within this age group today, it can be even more difficult because of the ways that it can affect your sleep, such as depression napping and insomnia.

There are tons of resources available online and through app stores that offer ways to contribute to measuring and stabilizing your sleeping patterns, but we’ve pulled a few that you can check out below!

Flux You can install Flux on your computer so that your screen automatically adjusts with the sun. Screens emit brighter, blue lighting that can hurt the eyes, especially at night. Flux dims your computer to a softer, orange color at sunset, and you can adjust how strong the color and softness are.

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Sleep with Me This podcast is dedicated to help you fall asleep by telling bedtime stories. The host, Drew Ackerman, takes a comedic approach in his story choice and storytelling, but still does so in a way that helps the listener not feel like they have to pay attention and eventually drifting off to sleep. There are over 700 episodes too, so you don’t have to worry about running out of content.

There are also other podcasts available meant to help the listener sleep. You can check out some other lists for more info and ideas.

Pzizz Science-based and celebrity-backed (J.K. Rowling has tweeted about using it before), Pzizz uses soft music, voices, and sound effects to help you fall and stay asleep. It’s not just limited for sleeping at night, and includes options if you want to take a nap and to help you stay focused.

Do you use anything on your phone or computer to help you fall and stay asleep at appropriate times? If you nap (whether voluntarily or involuntarily), what have you tried to make sure you don’t interrupt your sleep at night?

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by Moderator ★

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Music and Social Media

September 27, 2024 in LINKS, Social Media Guide

What are your favorite genres? Do you enjoy the stuff currently on the radio? Do you like pop, rock, rap, or any of the specific subgenres within them? Maybe you like a combination, or even all of them.

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Music is an extension of ourselves and a way to not only express, but figure out our identity. Music is especially meaningful for adolescents during a time when they’re experiencing a crucial time figuring out who they are. Studies have shown that adolescents listen to more music than any other age group and use it to help shape together their identity, since there’s often a culture and sense of style associated with different genres.

Studies have also shown that adolescents use music as a way to connect with others and make friends with those who have similar tastes, since they are likely to have other tastes in common too outside of music. Social media is one way of connecting people over their taste in music.

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Using social media to find out what your peers are listening to isn’t new: Last.fm was specifically created so that people could share what they were listening to by connecting it to their iTunes and other music sites. Of course, aspiring musicians can also use sites like Soundcloud and YouTube to post their original works, sharing it with others not just on these sites, but on other platforms too.

Nowadays, social media sites give users the option to post what music they’re listening to when they make a status (like Facebook), and some give them the choice to play a snippet of a song over their story (like Instagram). Even Spotify counts as social media: Spotify gives you the option to add friends by using your email or Facebook, and they can see what you’re listening to as you’re listening to them.

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Spotify also has a “private” listening option, so that you could listen to whatever else you want without others seeing. Both the public and private feeds on Spotify create a discussion about how people, and adolescents specifically, can manipulate what and how they listen to their music based off what others will think of them. Some might have a genre that they’re embarrassed of, or something that might not be that popular with their friends, so they might go into private mode so no one knows that they listened to it. They may only keep the regular setting on if they are listening to groups that their friends also like and contributes to the image they have created for themselves.

Picking and choosing what people see versus showing all of your music history can be similar to picking and choosing what sorts of brands adolescents want others to see them wearing and what type of photos they post on Instagram. It can be even more anxiety inducing too since adolescents listen to more music than any other age group, so it’s natural to forget that the friend feed is there as you’re listening to music, and a song might slip in that might be “judged” by someone. Some may not care, and some may not mind monitoring it. Some may even turn off this feature completely and listen to their music without others knowing when they’re doing so.

If anything, if you want to expand your taste in music outside of Spotify’s Discover Weekly, the friend feed is a great option to find some new songs.

If you use Spotify, do you have the friends on your feed? Do you look at what others are listening to, or do you think others are looking at yours? Why do you think some people judge each other’s music tastes so harshly?

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by Moderator ★

photo of a hallway. the walls are painted in a rainbow going from green to teal to blue to red to orange to yellow.

Bringing Some Color In

September 25, 2024 in LINKS

There are many outlets to take advantage of if you need a distraction that go beyond procrastination purposes. These kinds of situations can include sitting on public transit, waiting for a doctor’s appointment, or those times when anxiety can feel so overwhelming that you it can seem like you’re frozen, itching to do something to make the feeling go away. One of the most simplest and convenience ways to waste a little bit of time and keep yourself busy is through the infinite number of games available through the app stores on your smartphone.

While some are designed specifically for stress relief purposes, some simply end up being that way. This can be through the low stakes involved (such as the levels not being timed) or the minimal thinking required. One such game is I Love Hue, which is based on organization and color. Your goal is to move around scrambled colored tiles so that they create a gradient, which can seem complicated, but can feel incredibly satisfying once a pattern begins to emerge. Not all of the tiles need to be moved, and some are locked with a black dot to serve as reference points.

The game has an overall tranquil vibe to it, with soft sounds and pleasing, supportive words like “magnificent” when you finish a level and “mystic” and “prophet” to refer to the level types. The colors are also soft as well as aesthetically pleasing, and can also feel a little educational, helping your eyes recognize the subtle differences in colors better (Is this red-orange? Or orange-red?). There is a slightly competitive component to it too, as each level shows the average number of steps people take to complete it, which can be a bonus for those who want to build up their motivation towards another task.

The game is free and available on both the App Store and Google Play.

Would you consider playing a game like I Love Hue? How do you think puzzles help with stress? How do you think colors help with stress?

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