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Building Better Habits

August 30, 2019 in LINKS

Although it can happen at anytime, there are certain points in the year where it just feels right to reorganize and refresh your routine and lifestyle. There’s the beginning of the year (remember when Marie Kondo was everywhere in January?) and of course, spring cleaning, when the weather starts to get warmer and it feels like we’re waking up from a stuffy winter-long hibernation.

School and Mental Health

We’re also in the midst of a key time for lifestyle reorganization: those going back to school are probably getting adjusted to the new routine and having to put the puzzle pieces of classes, work, and leisure together for their schedule over the next couple of months. Right now is both an exciting and stressful time: it can feel relieving to get organized, but also worrying about whether or not you’ll stick to it.

Truthfully, it can be hard to stick with these habits. What may start as a carefully detailed planner with a color-per-class can end up at the bottom of your backpack, forgotten and covered in coffee stains. Optimistic plans to go to the gym everyday can end up with your sneakers hidden underneath your bed collecting dust. Even smaller goals like biting your nails less are out the window once that first exam starts to loom over your head.

These are all okay! It’s almost common knowledge at this point that nearly all New Year’s Resolutions fail before February and it takes dedication to have a habit become a part of your everyday life (you may have heard the unofficial rule about it taking 21 days to build a habit). Changing and sticking with a new routine and habits takes a lot of hard work.

The Fabulous

The Fabulous app (iTunes/Google) is there to help you strengthen these habits and keep up the goals you may have set for yourself recently or at any time during the year. It’s an app that goes beyond reminders for you to drink 8 glasses of water or ask you if you wrote in your planner that day. It’s research-based short activities that you can do everyday to build all kinds of healthy habits, with mindfulness exercises and a 10-minute physical exercise you can do anywhere without any equipment. You can build your way up to developing a morning routine and there’s also a section where you can dedicate 4 hours to just focus on any assignments you need to complete.

Fabulous is free for your first month if you only have a couple of habits that you want to establish, but to maintain them or continue building more habits, there are monthly and yearly subscriptions too.

What habits have you set for yourself recently, whether it be school-related or not? Do you think having a coaching app can help?

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The Benefit of Group Therapy

August 28, 2019 in Educate Yourself

Do you have one night a week free? Even just an hour of extra time? If so, you should try to join group therapy. I go to group therapy on my college campus, and it has changed my entire college experience for the better. It has been a great complement to my one-on-one therapy sessions. There are groups for each diagnosis, meaning everyone else in the group can relate to what you are going through. There is no judgement, and you can be assured that others in the group understand what it is like to juggle mental health and school requirements.

For the first few sessions, I did not speak much, and I just absorbed what others were saying. This helped me because before joining, I felt I was the only one on campus going through the struggles I was facing. But, as I started going more regularly, I began sharing my experiences. And I noticed that not only did my sharing help others feel less alone, but it also made me feel that I could finally vocalize my feelings. The responses I got from others in the group, often sharing of similar experiences, was very helpful. The moderators of the group always did a great job of steering the conversation so it would be a productive hour for everyone.

Group therapy has become a staple in my week. It is something I look forward to, and an hour where I can share anything I want and know I will not be looked at any differently for it. I will continue this coming semester, and it is something I am actually looking forward to.

Have you ever attended or considered group therapy? How do you think it’d be different than one-on-one sessions?

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5 Ways to Keep a Level Head for the Start of School

August 27, 2019 in Be Positive, Educate Yourself

With the splendor of summer coming to an end and the stress of the school year following shortly behind, it’s important we maintain our sanity and stability through these busy transitions.  One way we can help keep our anxiety levels low during this time is by creating and consistently maintaining self-care routines before our schedules get crazy.  Then, when things do start to pick up, our self-care is already built into our daily lives.

Here are five tips to help you keep a level-head this fall:

1. Proper Sleep Hygiene

The way we get ourselves ready for bed directly impacts the way we sleep and the way we wake up in the morning.  The way we wake up in the morning and how rested we are directly effects how the rest of our day goes.  Therefore, it is very important that we practice proper sleep hygiene!  Good sleep hygiene looks different for everyone, but there are a variety of ways to improve your nightly routine.

First, it is very helpful if we keep our bed as a place for only sleep. Although it may be comfortable to do your homework on your bed, it can be confusing for our brain to do stimulating activities in the place where it is used to resting.  When I used to write papers in bed, I started to associate my comfy mattress with stress and schoolwork.   Once I started doing my schoolwork outside of my apartment, I started to feel and sleep better!

Second, it is important that we stop doing stimulating activities, especially ones that involve screens, at least one hour before heading to bed.  When we watch TV or check our phones late at night, those bright lights trick our brains into thinking it’s still daylight, making it difficult for us to fall asleep.  This is where a consistent nighttime routine comes into play!  When we have a relaxing evening routine, it helps our body know it’s time for bed.  A calming bedtime routine might include reading a book, taking a shower or bath, or meditating.

Third, exercise can influence better quality sleep.  As little as 10 minutes of exercise per day can dramatically improve nighttime sleep.  However, stimulating exercise too close to bedtime can make it difficult to fall sleep, so don’t get your steps in too late!

Finally, if you’re a daytime napper, it is important to know that napping does not make up for insufficient nighttime sleep.  Limiting your naps to only about 20-30 minutes can improve your energy and mood without making it difficult for you to fall sleep later that night.

2. Morning Prep the Night Before

Another way to keep your mornings stress-free is to prepare for them as much as possible the night before.  The less you have to do to get ready in lathe morning, the more time you have to enjoy a hot cup of coffee or eat a delicious breakfast!  Simple things such as packing your lunch, picking out your clothes, or getting your backpack ready the night before reduces morning chaos and frees up time for more pleasurable activities.  I used to dread getting out of bed to get myself ready for school, but when I started preparing for my day the night before, I started to feel way better about getting out of bed!  Instead of having to think about homework first thing in the morning while I pack my bag, I get to think about a lightly toasted everything bagel with cream cheese.

3. Earlier Wake-Up Time

In addition to prepping the night before, setting your alarm just a few minutes earlier than you actually need to also can reduce early morning stress.  Instead of trying to sleep in as late as possible, hitting snooze three times, and then scrambling to get yourself together on time, you can allow yourself to wake up more gradually.  All that rushing around sends your body into alarm-mode, which spikes your adrenaline.  Adding a few extra minutes to your wake-up time can really help start your day off in a more relaxed manner.  Additionally, don’t check your phone right when you wake up!  You have all day to worry about your emails and Instagram, no need to clog up your morning with them.

4. Reboot Your Commute

Another easy way to take control of the stress of school is by using your daily commute to your advantage.  We all know that traffic can be infuriating, the bus systems are confusing and crowded, and it always seems to be raining on your walk to campus, but with a little reframing, we can make this a glass-half-full situation.  Try and view your morning and evening commutes as built-in “me” time, rather than a time to battle other vehicles through the stop light.  You have to make your commute one way or another, might as well enjoy yourself while you do!  Try to do something that nurtures your mind, such as listening to a podcast or an audiobook.  Or your walk to class is the perfect time to bust out that new music playlist!  Now that I have a different frame of mind about my morning drives, I look forward to them.  Especially on Monday’s when my favorite podcast drops a new episode for the week!

5. Daily Affirmation

For our fifth and final fall tip, I want to suggest something that you can carry with you all day.  Choosing a daily affirmation for yourself can help set the tone for your day and can help keep that tone if you feel your anxiety levels rising.  One study found that repeating an affirmation helps reduce cortisol levels during stress inducing situations.  Your affirmation can focus on beneficial traits you’d like to manifest, goals you have for yourself, things you are grateful for, or really anything you’d like.  Here are some examples: “I am confident,” “I will flourish in my work this week,” or “I am thankful for the things I have.”  Two of my favorite affirmations are: “I learn from my mistakes” and “I am strong, I am sincere, and I am secure.”  It really helps me throughout my entire day if I write down my affirmation and keep it with me.  I like to keep something physical with me so that I can touch it when I need to remember my strength.  Anytime I’m feeling nervous or blue, I read my affirmation and remind myself that everything is going to be alright.

I hope these five tips I use to keep my self-care consistent are helpful to you too.  Some may work for you better than others, but they’re worth a shot!  In my experience, they have all been useful in reducing my school-related anxieties.  Good luck in your fall endeavors and please remember: you’re not alone!

Do you have any morning or nighttime routines or habits that you use to reduce stress? What tips do you have or what has worked for you to reduce school stress? 

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Sitting in (Not So) Complete Silence

August 26, 2019 in Be Positive

For some, the quiet can be peaceful. There are no distractions and a place for them to focus on their thoughts without any outside intrusions.

For others however, the quiet can be deafening and can cause them to feel incredibly anxious. The best way to describe this feeling is when you’re taking a test in a large room. It’s the feeling that something, anything, can happen at any second that can throw you off completely, and that uncertainty is stressful. Your mind can start to wander to places you don’t want it to and distract you if you have something you have to focus on.

This is where white noise comes in. It’s a middle ground between complete silence and busy noise. It’s not overwhelmingly loud and can ground you and your thoughts instead of letting them bounce around in a silent void. It’s known to help people calm down and relax and can help improve sleep quality. Others also claim that listening to this kind of ambient, background noise helps them focus better.

So knowing that it might be able to help you concentrate, sleep, or relax – where can you find white noise? There are websites and apps that provide customizable white noises, and Spotify’s playlists and Youtube videos of white noise go on for literally hours. There are other natural sources for them as well; if you live near a body of water or even just a fountain, you can take a walk around there for example. Fans also provide a white noise effect (you might even think that it sounds similar to beach waves). 

There’s a lot of positive things to be said about white noise and how it can help ground you for whatever you need, but at the same time, there isn’t much research to support the effects. One study even suggests that listening to white noise for long periods of time can have a negative effect on our central auditory system.

If you find white noise to be a source of comfort for you, make sure you listen to it at lower volumes if you can and don’t keep them on for extended periods of time.

How do you feel about white noise? Do you find silence to be comforting or would you rather be around more noise? Have you ever tried white noise as a way to focus, relax, or sleep?

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Stop, Breathe, Think from your Computer

August 23, 2019 in LINKS

Stop Breathe and Think Meditations

We’ve talked about the app Stop, Breathe, and Think before. It’s a clean, straightforward app designed for mindfulness and gives you a variety of meditation options that are customized depending on your mood. 

Apps like SBT are the go-to methods nowadays to access meditations – they’re easily accessible from your phone, which you’re most likely already on, and they’re compact and easy to understand. But what about the times you’re not on your phone? What if your phone doesn’t have enough space to download a new app, or you simply don’t want your home screen to be cluttered with yet another app that you think you’re most likely going to neglect?

One of the meditations: forgiving yourself

SBT’s website also has a feature where you can access meditations. It’s obviously not the same as the app itself; for example, you can’t choose how you’re feeling and have the site pick the best meditation for you, but their meditation page has almost 20 different types for you to choose from. Most are about 6 minutes long, but they can range from a couple of minutes to almost 10.

You can take a few minutes to do a body scan to check in with yourself at that current moment, or learn how to “think like a lion” by being aware of your surroundings, but focusing on the bigger picture. There are meditations to help you remember the good and positive things that are happening as well as ones to ground you when things are changing.

If you need a few minutes to take a break from an assignment on your computer or just want to explore some new meditation activities, it might be worth trying out SBT’s meditation page.

Have you ever tried meditation? Do you use technology to help? What kind of exercises have you done?

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The Neuroscience Behind Using Instagram

August 22, 2019 in Social Media Guide

Using social media can feel like a mindless activity. Most of the time, we’re opening apps and scrolling as if on instinct, and before we know it, it’s been an hour of alternating between apps and retaining absolutely nothing about what you just saw and who you interacted with. Using social media is a way for our minds to go on autopilot, spending time on your phone to kill time in line, in class, and when you’re lying down to put off going to bed.

But here’s the thing: our minds are always busy and doing something, including when we’re using social media. We’re processing the images we see and storing away information we read (or even glance at) into our working and possibly long-term memory. We’re interpreting interactions we have with others (whether they be through DMs or likes) and our minds tell us to refresh constantly in the hopes that a new post will interest us.

One study looked at the brains of young women between the ages of 18 to 35 to see how they reacted when they were specifically on Instagram. Although it’s one of the most popular social media platforms regardless of how people identify (it’s the second-most popular one among adolescents), 60% of users on the app are females under the age of 34. 

This study found that posts about beauty and fitness (think of influencers and lifestyle/wellness themed accounts) decreased how the user rated their own attractiveness, which also had a correlation with those experiencing anxiety and depressive symptoms. Women – young girls especially – have had a long history with feeling pressured to meet beauty standards. However, ads and images of the “ideal” woman were once limited to billboards and magazines – now, they’re everywhere when you open your favorite app. This can also have more damaging effects on self-esteem on women of color too: African-American girls have a higher rate of smartphone use, but beauty standards often idealize looking white.

The number of likes can also trick our brains into valuing posts that are more popular than those that aren’t. Instagram may be rolling out a new update that hides likes and we may talk about how in the end, likes don’t matter, but our brains are more likely to automatically think its better, no matter what it’s about. 

Essentially, our brains prefer and are heavily impacted by really popular, influencer-type posts on Instagram. This isn’t really news, but what it does tell us is that our brain is processing and retaining a lot of information when we’re lying there and scrolling on Instagram. Is there a way to tell our brains that we shouldn’t be caring about the number of likes on our post and to fight back against those thoughts telling us that we’re ugly when we see beauty posts? It’s possible. You can also limit who you follow just to accounts of people that you actually know or keep the number of influencers that you follow to a minimum. Your brain may process the images and likes in a negative way, but it also has the power to give you control about what you want to see on your feed and can also fight back against those negative feelings.

What are your thought processes when you’re watching YouTube videos or looking at Instagram posts? What kinds of accounts do you follow? Do you think the kind of content you choose to have on your feed can influence how you feel about yourself?

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First Time Blogger

August 21, 2019 in Educate Yourself

As I’ve already mentioned in the title, this is my first time blogging. I have never shared my experiences in a format quite like this, so this should interesting. I feel as if I have so many stories to share and so much to say, but nobody has time to read all of that in one sitting. So… I’ll try not to ramble on for too long. Part of me hopes lots of people read this and part of me hopes nobody does. It can be really difficult putting yourself out there, but hey too late now.

Photo Credit: walloe via Compfight cc

I suppose I will start off by saying that I have struggled with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember and I still continue to struggle. To a degree it feels like a part of who I am, and I am not quite sure how to feel about that. I could talk about my struggles with anxiety and depression all day, but I think I will focus a little more on my anxiety today since that is my main issue. My depression is touch and go, but my anxiety is here to stay. It is the only constant in my life. I’ve always worried constantly about the smallest and sometimes even the most outlandish things. When I was little I was constantly paranoid, I was afraid to be in the dark and afraid to be alone in the house. I was so afraid and my thoughts were so rapid and scattered that I often times got no sleep and would remain paralyzed in my bed. I would not move or make a sound for fear of something lurking in the dark noticing me. I know that it was foolish, and lots of children think that there are monsters under their bed, however thing continued into my teens.

Anytime I was left home alone, I would stay perfectly still and sit against the wall so I could see every angle of house. This way when someone or something would pop out at me, I could see them and run away. I never told my parents I was afraid to be home alone, because I was embarrassed. Like any teenage girl, I wanted to prove I was brave and mature enough to be home alone and take care of myself. This continued for many years, and I had constant nightmares. I would wake up in the middle of the night, if I was lucky enough to go to sleep, screaming or panting because of a crazy dream I had. Then I would be too afraid to go back to sleep, but also too embarrassed due to my age to tell anyone or ask someone to stay up with me . I felt like I had no one to turn to because I did not know anyone my age who had these problems. I just didn’t feel like I was normal and I tried to hide it. In retrospect I should have told my parents, so I could maybe get some help, but who really told their parents everything at that age?

Now I am 22 and I no longer have nightmares. I am not even sure why that is. I would like to say that I have won the battle with my anxiety or maybe sought treatment and it solved everything, but truth is, I think I just genuinely did mature. I am older now and have lived on my own away from my family, and I think maybe that was the push I needed. It forced me to face my fears, and I think I am better for it.

Now, I’d be lying if I said I am never afraid to be home alone now. Every once in a while, I am home alone and I think I hear someone in the house and I look through the house with a weapon on hang just to be sure. Yes… I know maybe I am a little dramatic, but if it I ever do run into a break-in situation, you better believe I am prepared. In my experience there is a good and a bad side to anxiety. On one hand I feel as if I am constantly being crazy and worrying too much, but on the other there isn’t a single horrible scenario that I haven’t already played out in my head. I suppose that should make me more prepared for life so, I guess we’ll see.

I hope this helps anyone out there who can maybe relate to this situation. If I make even one person out there feel like less of a freak, then this post accomplished something!

Have you ever experienced nightmares? Have you ever wanted to share what you’ve been going through but didn’t? Share your experiences below!

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Saying “No” Can Be Good

August 20, 2019 in Educate Yourself

At the end of last school year, I told myself to get involved in something I’d wanted to do the past three years: marching band.

Now, I’ve never taken a band class before. I don’t play a musical instrument (not at school, anyways). But some of my friends are very involved in band, and they often talked about the people they know (from band), the things they do (in band), and how the band director is looking for more people to sign up (for band) next year.

Well, the decision seemed obvious.

I started filling out the marching band commitment form, but what amazed me was the amount of rehearsals that I would be required to go to. Four hot weeks before school, then every week during school, plus football games. It looked overwhelming, but I pushed down the feeling instead of asking anyone for advice, and continued on.

It was only after I’d signed up that I told my parents about the massive commitment I’d just agreed to. They had their reservations, but they allowed me to do it since they knew I had wanted to join band for a long time. 

That’s how I wound up in the scorching August heat, holding a clarinet I had never properly learned to play. On a day when most of my peers were still enjoying their vacation, I was sweating like a dog on the football field and learning how to march.

Now, I’m not saying that you should never push yourself to do challenging things. But learning that for 40 hours a week, I would be sitting in the bleachers and watching other people march? And that I couldn’t take breaks or go in the shade or go home when I wasn’t needed? I had never learned to play the instrument I was holding, so I felt quite useless. Suddenly, I wished I was still doing my summer reading. I wished that I could have time to do other things I enjoy, like theater and choir.

I quit marching band. Even though my friends were all doing it, even though it was what I had wanted to do for years, even though the director needed people. I said no to an activity that I thought I wanted to do. And I felt really guilty about letting people down! But I apologized to them, and I told them that I just couldn’t handle it. Ultimately, my mental health is more important, and I can’t find the time to focus on me if I’m juggling school, band, and everything else.

YOUR mental health is more important, and if you find yourself involved in something you no longer want to do, then it’s okay to step back and say no, this isn’t working for me.

Best of luck,

violet42

Was there anything you’ve ever agreed to do and wish you had said ‘no’ to? When do you think it’s best or appropriate to say ‘no’ to things other people ask you to do?

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Weekend Reads: Starting College

August 16, 2019 in LINKS

To put it simply: starting college can be one of the most exciting and most stressful times in our lives. Major transitions in our lives like starting a new school, moving, and navigating and settling into your identity can be a shock to our system. It’s takes your daily routine and turns it inside-out, puts you in settings you’re not familiar with, and takes us entirely out of our comfort zone. All of this can have an impact on our mental health: being put in the unfamiliar can cause anxiety and depending on how we’re handling it, can affect our self-esteem and can cause depressive symptoms. If we don’t think we’re doing a good job handling the changes and think that the people around us are coping just fine, for example, we might blame ourselves and think we’re doing something wrong. College is one of the biggest life transitions you might be making, or have made so far. It’s a combination of starting a new school, moving, and settling into your identity, and it might be the first time you’ve had to experience doing pretty much everything independently. While you might be experiencing that independence for the first time, you aren’t alone in this change. About two-thirds of high school graduates go on to start college, and a third of those college freshmen report having a mental health disorder. Those may already have been diagnosed or may have been diagnosed while starting, but regardless, this time is a significant one that can throw our minds and bodies for a loop, and it’s not uncommon. Whether you’re already in college or have graduated and want a bit of nostalgia, are in the process of applying for college and want to get ahead, or an incoming freshman or transferring to a new school who wants advice, we hope that some of the stories listed below about people’s experiences and advice about their own freshmen year can help you wherever you need.

What I Wish I Had Known Freshman Year of College

Four College Freshmen Photograph Their First Semester

Upperclassmen Share their Awkward Stories from Freshman Year

Are you starting or will you be starting college soon? What concerns do you have? If you aren’t a freshman, what advice or stories do you have about your freshman year?

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

August 14, 2019 in Educate Yourself

joey-sforza-ZB5Cy_f8NMg-unsplashCognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is typically a highly recommended method of treating mental illnesses. From personal experience, I feel it is a very helpful method of treatment. They provide you with different methods of positive thinking and just help you work through different issues you discover in your life.

list-1882326_1280One method of positive thinking that my therapist provided that I felt was extremely helpful was a way for me to reroute my thinking to stop blaming myself for everything. For example, whenever one of my friends seemed upset I would immediately think it was my fault and I did something wrong. My therapist told me whenever I felt this way I should take a moment and list the reasons why it could be my fault and list the reasons why it may not be my fault. This was extremely difficult at first, but since I have continued to do this it has become easier and I have become happier.

It can be extremely difficult opening up to a stranger about you life and how you’re feeling at first, but eventually you become really comfortable with this person who feels more like a friend than a stranger. It feels more that they just care and want to listen to you more than it feels you are paying for someone to care about your harli-marten-M9jrKDXOQoU-unsplashproblems, which many people who don’t go to therapy think it is.

I have had two different therapists in my life. The first time I went to therapy I didn’t feel like it was helping me, but I think that was also affected by the fact that I didn’t quite feel like I needed help at the time. I hadn’t come to terms with the fact I was struggling. However, once I accepted the fact that I wasn’t okay and went looking for help I have noticed how much better my mental health has become since I began receiving it. I have also noticed the majority of therapists will help you find a different therapist to help you if you don’t feel they are helping you. There is always help out there, but it is easier to be helped once you decide to get it not when it is being forced on you.

Do you go to therapy? Do they use CBT? Have you ever changed therapists? How did that process go?

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