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Controlling Emotions

August 30, 2024 in Be Positive

It’s impossible to be in control of our emotions all the time. After all, we’re only human, and we react to things in different ways as they happen, whether we want to or not. We may get overly excited about something we’re passionate about during a time when it’s probably not the most appropriate, or we might find ourselves getting a little too heated when someone insults someone close to us.

In moments when your mental health might not be the strongest, navigating and controlling your emotions can feel like a lost battle. It’s like you’re fighting with your mental illness to see who is in control over your brain and how you respond to things, and before you know it, you find yourself on edge and even the slightest inconvenience can have you bursting into tears.

Feeling like you don’t have control, especially over your emotions and reactions can be incredibly overwhelming, but it’s not impossible to take that control back.

The Internet has a few guides on how to control your emotions when they’re leaning on the more negative side. These include taking a deep breath and taking a moment to ground yourself before reacting to something, rewinding to see how you got to that feeling in the first place, and replacing negative thoughts with positive ones to redirect your mood.

And remember this: although it can feel like you’re fighting your mental illness over the remote control for your brain and emotions, you have the strength to take it back. No matter what, that remote will always end up back in your hand. 

Have you ever felt like you weren’t in control of your emotions? How did that feel? Do you have any advice on how to improve your mood or combating negative emotions?

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Can You be Extroverted and Have Social Anxiety?

August 28, 2024 in Educate Yourself

Our minds often give us images of certain types of people when we think about certain things. For example, we tend to think of those with anxiety to be by themselves, preferring to be alone and in the quiet. It can be easy and even confusing to separate introversion and social anxiety, since both include a preference of being alone and away from crowds. Even though there are significant differences, the assumption is that most people with social anxiety are also introverts, and that the two go hand in hand.

It’s important to remember though that those with disorders and illnesses do not have to have the same personality traits. While the idea of extroverts – those who thrive off of crowds, enjoy talking to large groups of people, and get their energy when they’re around others – also having social anxiety doesn’t seem to make sense, it’s something that can still happen. Being an extrovert is not a protective factor against anxiety, since anxiety is something that your mind can’t help but think about.

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Extroverts with social anxiety have two major parts of themselves conflicting, but if you take a step back, you can see how the two can influence each other. Social anxiety often includes fears of having their anxiety be noticeable and facing criticism, and those who have these and are also extroverted can feel these fears to a larger degree. They like to be around people, but they also want to make sure that they are being accepted by them. Because they want to be accepted, their anxiety can make them afraid of the worst-case scenarios and that people won’t actually like them and will actually find their outgoing traits to be annoying.

Those with social anxiety (or other mental illnesses) who are also extroverts can also be afraid of admitting they have these issues, because people don’t think that this combination is possible. Because people expect extroverts to be social, lively, and loud, extroverts can feel that they have to be that way all the time, not just to meet the standards of others, but the image they have of themselves. One 24-year-old woman goes into detail about her experience as someone with anxiety and depression but considers herself to be an extrovert. She explains that her more extroverted traits, such as being loud, can come out because she uses it to try and make up her fears of being judged by others when in public.  

While there are images that we think of when we think about mental illness, they can still be stereotypes and damaging to not just those who meet that image, but those who “conflict” with it.

Are you an introvert or extrovert? How do you think that the stereotypes and stigmas about mental illness can affect those who don’t meet them on the outside, such as outgoing and extroverted people?

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Going Off the Grid – A Social Media Hiatus

August 26, 2024 in Social Media Guide

For most people, social media is an intrinsically large part of our lives. Young people can easily spend hours per day on various social media networks without even realizing they are doing so. Enabling phone notifications for these apps means that we log onto these networks multiple times a day to see the newest updates and posts, including comments and likes on our own posts.

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Social media has been proven to be a stressful addition to our lives – read more about the ways social media stresses us out here. I often find myself overwhelmed by the amount of social information being thrown at me via Snapchat, Instagram and Facebook, just to name a few social media networks adolescents and young adults use today. When I am feeling overwhelmed, I like to take what I call a “phone break” – a social media hiatus where I simply don’t look at any of my social media accounts. I have found this to be incredibly therapeutic and a way to clear my head.

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Here are some tips if you want to try going off the grid on your own:

  • Time Your social media hiatus can be as short or as long as you like. I typically log off my accounts and turn off my notifications from anywhere from 24 hours to up to five days at a time, if I can. You determine how long of a break you need. You can also just go off the grid and decide later down the line when you want to come back.
  • FOMO The fear of missing out is real, and the primary reason I always come back to my social media accounts in the end. When I do come back, I generally set some rules for myself – eg. I can check my accounts twice a day (once in the morning, once in the evening). Or after posting a picture on Instagram, I can only check the number of likes on it once an hour, instead of incessantly checking every five minutes.
  • Cleanse I like to use my time away from my phone doing things make me happy that I don’t generally have a lot of time to do. My social media hiatus is about me – about relieving my stress and starting fresh. If the weather is nice, I try to spend as much time outdoors as I can. If it’s not, I light some candles in my home and curl up with a warm blanket and a book. Bonus points if you have a nice fireplace to curl up next to this winter!

Have you ever gone “off the grid”? What did you think? Does taking a break from social media appeal to you? We’d love to hear your thoughts!

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Listening to Ambient Noise

August 23, 2024 in LINKS

Sitting in silence can be mortifying, but sometimes, listening to music isn’t that much of a help either – even though it can improve how we feel, sometimes it’s too loud and distracting. White noise can be the best options in this kind of situation; it’s an ever-present noise, but nowhere near loud to the point that it becomes overwhelming.

White noise is a kind of ambient noise, which, in short, is any sort of background noise. While white noise tends to sound more like static, ambient noise can also include the sounds of waves, rain, summertime crickets, or the conversations of people around you that you don’t particularly care to eavesdrop into. Ambient noise is kind of a reassuring, ever-present comfort, there to remind you that you aren’t completely alone, but gives you the space you need at the same time.

A Soft Murmur
A Soft Murmur

Whether it’s to concentrate on a task at hand or to calm yourself down during a particularly anxious and tense time, there are many places to find ambient noise to play on your computer or phone (Spotify has a number of playlists under the Sleep and Focus genres if you need a place to start, and YouTube has an infinite number of hour-long videos). However, for a more interactive experience, A Soft Murmur (a website and an app) allows you to adjust different kinds of ambient noise for a personalized noise that’s just for you. There are ten categories, ranging from rain to coffee shops to a singing bowl, all with different volume controls so some can be louder than others.

Here, you can pretend you’re on a beach, the sound of waves around you with the cackling noises of a bonfire nearby. You can recreate being in a coffee shop during a thunderstorm, people’s voices around you drowning out the rumblings of the thunder. You can also have some fun and find out what a singing bowl is, blasting it amongst the sounds of rain, birds, white noise, and crickets all at once. Whatever it is, the website not only gives you what you want to listen to to relax, but also the control that we sometimes need to feel.

Would you consider listening to ambient noise if you don’t already? Would you enjoy having the ability to play DJ and control what kind of noise you listen to?

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Happiness Set Point

August 21, 2024 in Be Positive, LINKS

There is an idea in psychology that we all have something called a happiness set point. A happiness set point is a term used to describe our general level of happiness, and it is unique to each of us. We all have different set points, and it is possible that some people, who seem to be happier than others, have naturally higher happiness set points.

Where does our happiness set point come from? 

Your happiness set point partly comes from your genes. It also comes from our upbringing and personality traits that we develop when we are young and stay with us throughout our lives.

Does our set point change?   

Yes, but only temporarily. In general, our happiness set point has the ability to increase around positive (such as winning the lottery) and negative (you do not perform well on an exam) events. However, eventually our happiness will return to our natural set point (with the exception of a few life events). In fact, research has shown that “lottery winners and those who have undergone extreme hardship due to a health crisis or accident, within a year or so to return to the level of happiness they had prior to their life change.” Basically if something good happens, your sense of happiness rises; if something bad happens; it falls. However, eventually it all returns back to baseline.

Can I do anything about my happiness set point?

Yes! There is a way to choose to become a happier person. Huffington Post put out nine suggestions for taking control over your own happiness:

  1. Simply try.
  2. Make happiness your number-one goal.
  3. Linger on those little, positive moments.
  4. Choose mindfulness.
  5. Smile your way to happiness.
  6. Practice gratitude.
  7. Pursue happiness, find happiness – and success.
  8. Let yourself be happy.
  9. Practice compassion.

However, these are just suggestions. There are lots of other ways things you can try to raise the set point of your happiness.

What are other ways you might be able to raise your happiness set point? Try these out for a while and let us know if you notice any results!

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Stress Less – Change to Chill

August 19, 2024 in LINKS

Photo by Omid Armin on Unsplash

School is starting and it seems like stress always comes right along with it.

It can be hard to STRESS LESS by yourself. Allina Health’s “Change to Chill™ Starter Kit” has some awesome resources for you to not have to chill by yourself.


WHAT IS CHANGE TO CHILL?
Change to Chill is a free online resource kit for teen mental health which:

  • Addresses what stress is
  • Teaches you about triggers of stress
  • Helps you recognize signs of stress
  • Gives you tools for coping with stress like meditation, mindful movement,
    how-to videos and guided imagery

TRY IT OUT:
Take a look through and see if you want to try any of the activities on your own. Or take the tools to an organization you are part of and suggest a group activity. There are small, easy activities, and guides for planning a large chill event too. Also, if YOU are too stressed to even THINK about how to help other people de-stress, look around you. There are definitely other people your age or adults at school, activities, and your community who are just LOOKING for ways to help! Ask them to get together a space and food and invite other young people – and the kit will give you the tools to do the rest!

How to Get Started with Change to Chill

Note: SOVA does not have any affiliation with Allina Health.

Did you try out anything in the Change to Chill kit? If you did, let us know in the comments below!

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Is Depression in My Genes?

August 16, 2024 in Be Positive, Educate Yourself

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Where does depression come from? Like we talked about before, there are many theories (ideas for why something happens that scientists put together from facts and based on how the world seems to work).

There is some evidence or proof that part of why someone has depression comes from their genes—or basically the code your parents gave you that is an instruction manual for your body and mind.

On average in our population, about 38 percent of the way depression is inherited may be from genetics—and more so for girls than boys. Remember that statistic is talking about a whole population—we don’t know what it means for an individual person. For one person, genetics could be 70 percent of the reason they have depression—for someone else it might only be 10 percent.

About 10 percent of all people will experience depression. If someone has a parent or sibling with depression that risk goes up to about 20 to 30%.

Scientists haven’t found a “depression gene” yet. Its more likely there are a bunch of genes that contribute risk.

All of this means you don’t just get depression from your mom or dad—genes are part of the story but definitely not all of it. So don’t ever take that to mean you are programmed to be one way and there is nothing you can do about it.

You know how you open up a new phone and it has default settings? Think about those as your genes. Many phones are customizable–and you can decide how to set it up. Just because you get certain genes doesn’t mean you can’t work with what you got! (Read our post on epigenetics to find out more about how to work with what you inherit.)

Maybe you drop your phone and the screen cracks a little—then you get a new shiny case for it and now it looks awesome and you can’t tell there’s a crack. That’s kind of how the environment works—what’s around you and the experiences you have also effect who you become.

You are a collection of where you came from (your genes), what you grew up with (your environment), who you choose to become (your motivation and goals), and who helps you get there (your support system—including clinical professionals such as your therapist and doctor who provide you with tools you need to get you where you want to go).

Has anything made you feel as if your depression or anxiety are inevitable? Where did you get those messages? Share with us in the comments.

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Self-care: Why exercise?

August 15, 2024 in Be Positive

Self-care is all about improving ourselves, having more energy and being more satisfied with the events happening in and around us.

Self-care involves a daily routine to achieve these goals by implementing the three core methods of self-care which, when used together, can lead to a better well-being and happiness within oneself.

This is a picture of a woman running in the sunset/sunrise and all you see is her silhouette.

One of these core components to taking care of ourselves is exercise.

Exercise is not just beneficial physically, but also mentally. By engaging in vigorous exercise, which is defined as “heart racing and body sweating” for 20 to 60 minutes a week.

Exercise increases cardiovascular activity, burns extra calories, but most importantly, it releases endorphins in the brain, which have a role in reducing stress and managing depression, as well as decreases the stress hormones in the body, like cortisol.

Exercise can also be a great oulet for frustrations and anger (like martial arts or weight training). It can take your mind off of problems and troubling thoughts, just by placing you in a different environment and forcing you to focus on your deep breathing.

Research has shown that even minimal exercise is better than none, so even starting with walking the dog around the block a few times can increase your heart rate and get you moving! (Plus, you get to spend time with your furry friend!)  Also, it can be really beneficial to start an exercise routine with friends which allows you to motivate each other day-to-day.

It is proven that it takes 21+ days to make an activity a routine, so summer is the perfect time to start getting moving, especially outside! Once you have done moderate exercise for a few weeks, you can increase the intensity, which yields even more benefits, and more feelings of happiness!

Some easy ways to start exercising are: cycling, jogging, Zumba, swimming, and dancing.

Yoga is also another tool to use which incorporates small meditation, increased flexibility and learning about yourself (inside or outside).

Overall, for motivation, remember the benefits of exercise:

  • getting better sleep
  • thinking more clearly
  • having more energy for the day
  • speed up your metabolism
  • improved cholesterol, blood pressure and blood sugars

Source: PsychCentral

Source: Still Standing Magazine

What are some of your favorite ways to exercise? Have you figured out a way to get it into your daily routine? Let us know below!

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Balancing Work and Mental Health

August 14, 2024 in Educate Yourself

A major part of adolescence and young adulthood is finding and keeping a job. When struggling with anxiety or depression, this can create obstacles to being successful in your work. Many questions can arise: What is needed to support your mental health? Should you tell your employer? If so, how much should I disclose?

To start, it is important that you know your rights! Psychological disabilities are covered under the Americans With Disabilities Act. Requests for accommodations can usually be made to the company’s Human Resources department.

Consider your work environment before disclosing mental health concerns. Unfortunately, stigma exists in work environments. It is important to protect yourself from any harm that might be caused by speaking on your mental health concerns. If it turns out you think more harm than good would come of talking about your mental health, it might be best to find another place to work that is more respectful of mental health. Lastly, the article recommends some flexibility. It’s important to find that balance between meeting the needs of the job without sacrificing your wellbeing. This might require some discussion between you and your employer, so it’s important to be flexible and find a compromise that fits the needs on both sides.

This is a picture of four stones of different colors balancing on one another.

Do you have any experience with juggling a mental health concern and work? We’d love to hear any tips you have in the comments below!

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Five reasons why feeling depressed discourages you from finding help.

August 13, 2024 in Educate Yourself

It is hard saying that its time to get help for how you feel for a lot of different reasons. One of the most common reasons is because the actual symptoms of depression can make it tough to want to get help.

  1. Guilt — Depression can make you feel like everything that goes wrong is your fault.  You also feel bad for all kinds of different things. Some young people feel bad that they would have to get treatment for depression, too. They think only if they could take care of their problems on their own, they wouldn’t have to ask for help or trouble their parents to take them to the doctor or therapist. The fact is that depression is not your fault – just like any other illness or disease is not your fault either. 
  2. Not feeling motivated — Part of depression is not feeling up to doing much of anything. You would rather stay in bed or in the house than face the world. Going to see a therapist or a doctor about an emotional problem is tough for anyone, but especially if you don’t feel like even doing things you used to think were fun. It can help to have a friend or family member go with you and try to help you get to your appointments so you can get better.
  1. Having a hard time concentrating — Even if you do get to a therapist, participating in therapy appointments can be a lot of work. You need to really think about how you think and how you have dealt with different experiences in the past so you can learn from them. When you are depressed, you can have a hard time focusing and concentrating on things. Your brain can feel worn out and like mush – that can make participating in therapy hard. Be open with your therapist. If you feel like you can’t focus, they can change or slow down their strategy – or talk to your doctor about whether adding medications would help.
  2. Lack of energy — Being depressed can be a draining process. You  might feel like you would rather be sleeping or just like you have no energy to do anything. Even if you were motivated, you’d have no energy to get yourself to actually do anything. This is another reason having a support person can be really helpful.
  3. Sleep disturbances — Not being able to sleep well can really take a toll on anyone, but especially if you are already experiencing other symptoms of depression. Talk to your doctor or therapist about the problems you have with sleeping. Keep a sleep diary to help you let them know exactly what is going on. Everyone is different, but usually there are different strategies that can help. Getting good sleep can make a world of difference in how you feel. Here are some strategies which may help you.
This is a photo of two eggs with faces drawn on them, and one face is unhappy. The eggs are inside of a plate which is on a table and the background is blurred-out.

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