SOVA Blog

by greekgirl

How Will I Deal With Being Home 24/7 This Fall?

September 30, 2020 in COVID-19, Educate Yourself

Since March of this year, I have been working at my internship entirely from home, along with doing my college courses from home as well. I have always been a social butterfly, and since my university journey started, I would be bopping between the office and campus Monday through Friday from 11am, to 10pm. I would be the type to take on any and every opportunity that came my way. I strive off a busy social calendar, and I still am that way 6 months into a pandemic. 

Being a commuter student to my university was already tough due to hours wasted in transportation. Although, since the pandemic started it is a whole new vice of having that trapped mentality of being at home 24/7 with really nowhere to go. Nothing is really open still, I live at home with 3 other adults who work and do school from home as well. I have my own room, but how can you even live out of a room working and studying 5 days a week? You can’t sit in a library, coffee shop, or Panera. 

I understand that I can still do clubs and career opportunities from home virtually, but it is not the same as being face-to-face with someone. Working at a company where I really didn’t know my co-workers and  learning my role on my own is hard. My friends are all away at different universities, and I am finally at a point where I feel so alone, and you can’t really make or build relationships or friendships with people you can’t be with in person.

This pandemic is incredibly hard on mental health, and mine has been a wave of emotions since day one of this all starting. 

I don’t really have any answers anymore, because I seriously have tried everything in my power to improve the way I feel and nothing felt like it was working. I tried journaling, exercising, new hobbies, reading, meditating, online community forums, talking to a therapist, side hustle, you name it. Nothing was working. I have been taking the pandemic week by week, but nothing seemed to be improving. I had hoped my college courses would be a hybrid (at least), but my hope was wiped away once I received the email saying 1 out of my 6 courses would be in-person. 

This blog post is a rant because I have nowhere else to really say how I feel. I’m usually very optimistic, hopeful, and goal oriented. Although, this pandemic was starting to turn me into a very sour, bitter, frustrated, and hateful person. 

I really didn’t know what else I could do to improve how I felt?

How could I even manage another 4-6 months living the way we have this entire pandemic? 

Something needed to give, so I didn’t have the pandemic mess with me for good.

I started to look back on all the time that has passed since March since that was when the official stay-at-home order began in my state. I looked back at the way I felt during different times, what did I do activity wise, what worked to make me feel better, and what didn’t work? 

Little did I know after further analyzing what made me happy and feel good, that these would be my defining hobbies and passions that consisted of my personal identity. This pandemic stinks, let’s all agree, but maybe this was the time we can discover ourselves or start a new chapter.  The following is what worked for me and why, but obviously everyone else is different.

Gardening

I started a garden at my house in the spring of this year. I always came from a long line of green thumbs, but never considered gardening a full-out garden until this year. In years past it was always just a few plants I could grow. I have a small patch of garden space at my house, so this year I decided to really give it my all. You would never believe how invested a garden can make you. Between building a fence to protect my harvest, buying special netting, and weeding and watering daily I started spending a bulk of my time out in that garden. The best thing about gardening is that you nurture it like a baby or a pet dog. You really see the fruit of your labor – literally, given you get to harvest your crops from all your time and energy spent on it. If gardening isn’t your thing, then I recommend getting a pet (even a little fish), or maybe a little succulent.

Reading About A Topic to Make Me Better Myself

I have recently been very invested in educating myself on personal finance. Usually, during the work and school week, I was way too busy to just read a novel. This summer, and going into this academic year, I actually have the time to set aside to read books that I always wanted to read, but always pushed to the side. The books that I have selected were ones that made me wiser, and actually turned me into a better person since they were usually self-help books. This can be applied to any topic or area you are interested in. This even can be for something career-related like a new resume building certification or software skill. 

Something to Plan and Put a Lot of Time and Energy Into

I’m someone who loves to have an active social calendar – this pandemic was never going to take that away from me. My neighborhood put together various holiday block parties since our community cancelled basically everything. We planned picnics, fire trucks to go around the block to celebrate birthdays, the Easter Bunny came and we had an egg hunt, the list goes on. We even are planning a Halloween Harvest festival with a hayride around the block for families to go on, along with games, costume contests, and food. This has been fun getting to bond with new and old neighbors, make friends, and have something to look forward to that wouldn’t get cancelled (like everything else). 

Build My Skill Set in Something I Enjoy & Try Something New

I absolutely love to craft and cook. I signed up for a cooking class with my mom to learn how to make a certain food that I didn’t know how to cook. This was a fun activity that we were able to try out, learn to make food we didn’t know before, and build our cooking techniques and knowledge. We also crafted and DIYed a TON this pandemic. Between upcycling old furniture, and making home decor with a Cricut craft machine, we became DIY fanatics making different signs, hanging wreaths, and even furniture. This gave us a creative outlet, a time to be with friends, and also something to look forward to. 

As for trying something new, I tried a cycling class! This was something totally new and different that I always wanted to try, but due to COVID I decided to finally give it a try. 

Travel (Kinda)

When I mean travel, I mean safe travel meaning somewhere with a low population density, or even somewhere outdoorsy like a state park, or lake that have spots for social distancing. Fortunately, my family has a cabin in a state park, so I have been up fairly often for internet and media breaks. It feels so great being able to break away from your devices and work computer, to really be at peace. Another recommendation is to have a staycation! At least it the city I am in, there are still quite a bit of things open, that are following social distancing guidelines between wearing masks, timed admission, and more procedures. Take a break out of the house by getting away for a night or two for a peaceful woodsy retreat or even a change of scenery in your own city. 

Pick Up a Side Hustle

When I say, I tried out side hustles, I mean it. Since March, I have managed to keep up with over 10 different side hustles. This may seem over the top, but then again, I already admitted how I love to stay really busy in order to stay productive and on top of things. This was great to find new things to do, build my resume since these side hustles relate to my career field, but also gave me extra cash to save. 

Find Opportunities

Remember how I said, I love to work, stay really busy, and take on any opportunity that comes my way? Well, I was still able to do that since March. I will admit, it is still not the same as in-person, although I was still presently surprised that I was able to find so many virtual webinars for my career field, internships, speaking engagements for myself, networking events, and even competitions to compete in. You can still get ahead in life, despite a pandemic I have now found out. Also, I have learned how adaptable I can be when presented with a major life changing obstacle such as this pandemic.

Hopefully, some of these activities may help you feel better mental health wise. I still don’t have all the answers, and I am still trying to stay positive, and look on the bright side. Hopefully, things get better soon, and hopefully for other areas I still can’t fix such as making new friends and relationships, having a healthy lifestyle, or even getting out of the trapped work from home 9-5 mentality will be (soon) fixed as well since I’m working on them tirelessly to feel better.

How have you been feeling six months into the pandemic? How would you compare how you feel now to how you felt back in March? Have you tried any new, or revisited old activities since staying at home?

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by greekgirl

How to Deal with Financial Stress

August 19, 2020 in Educate Yourself

Now more than ever, I notice that many people, regardless of age and background run into stress – more so financial stress. Even before the pandemic, financial hardships can be found everywhere, and this is showing more than ever how we can change our ways to not have financial worries. 

Did you know that 78% of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck every month? Another study by the American Psychology Association found that 72% of Americans feel stressed about money. These statistics are just the tip of the iceberg, and can even produce other strains on other areas such as relationships and marriages, healthy lifestyle, and even how to get ahead in your career. 

I have been fortunate to not have financial stress during my life, and I am very passionate about personal finance. As a young child, I got very interested in personal finance through educating myself on topics such as debt, and how to get out of debt through different methods. I now am living a debt free lifestyle and a part of the FIRE movement (Financial Independence, Retire Early). As a hobby, I teach courses in my community on how to get out of debt, build wealth, and educate on new ways on how to eradicate financial stress in order to improve your mental health and well being. 

The following are a few tips on how to work towards eliminating financial stress, and towards the end, I will be including a few resources I highly recommend looking into to assist further. 

Evaluate & Realize

What is directly causing the stress in terms of financial concern? Is your stress rooted in missed payments of rent? Not able to keep food on the table, or even student loan debt accumulating? Whatever the direct reason you have financial stress, you need to evaluate and realize that this is something you can overcome with a few changes, if you commit. Also by realizing that the sooner you tackle that said stress, then the better your situation will get – not worse. In addition, I want to include how maybe you don’t have piles of bills or debt, but your situation is just saving money for a rainy day or emergency – these tips will benefit you as well!

Set Goals & Commit

After you realize the root of your stress, you are able to set goals and commit to them. The best way to do this is through writing them down somewhere that you can visibly see every day. Another idea is that I recommend you find someone in your social circle that can hold you accountable, and is also good with their own money. This person can be a friend, relative, or even someone from work (please, I can not stress this enough, make sure they are good with their own finances.) Your goal is entirely dependent on your personal situation, so it can range from paying off your credit card, paying rent on time, or even saving for a new car. 

Make A Budget

Not everyone likes to budget, and I entirely understand that sentiment. Although, the only true way to tackle financial stress is seen through budgeting your income. The best way I recommend to budget is a “Zero Based Budget” – a great resource I recommend is the Every Dollar Budgeting App. A Zero Based Budget is essentially your (income-expenses=0). This allows you to put money where it needs to go, by pre-planning your monthly budget. This is highly successful, and can basically guarantee you savings every month if you follow the budget! Don’t forget, that budgeting is totally different for everyone, and there are many other apps and systems in place today that may work better for your situation. Budgeting allows you to stay disciplined in order to reach your financial goals as well. Another major part of budgeting is being money conscious. I know so many friends with financial stress, but continue to dine out, or buy clothes every month. These are little things that you can either limit how much you do it, or even stop entirely (especially, during the pandemic, this was the best opportunity to cut spending!). If you’re not the best budgeter, I recommend trying to create a budget and test it out for 3 months. During that 3 month time frame, see what you spend over or under, and adjust accordingly. This is a great way to practice budgeting along with seeing where your money goes (you might even realize you are spending way too much in certain places). 

Create A Plan to Pay Off Debt & Bills

What I think is my favorite part of budgeting is setting more goals and milestones, along with putting a plan into action. The best way I recommend creating a plan is to have trackers – yes, like the ones for fundraisers! If you are trying to save $1,000 for an emergency fund, it may seem very daunting to reach that. Although, if you can try to save $20 a week or more, that may be more attainable to reach, and not be as stressful in your budgeting. This “tracking method” can be applied to anything, and is also helpful when you are just getting started.

Celebrate & Repeat

Once you reach your goal, I think it is something that is worth celebrating. Maybe instead of doing a steak dinner, treat yourself with a coffee or ice cream cone. This is crucial to reward yourself, but also, think about repeating the steps in order to reach another financial goal of yours.

Again, these are just a few very simple tips to assist you in eliminating your financial stress and help you reach your goals financially. If anyone has any questions or comments, please leave them in the comments section below, and I can answer them for you! If this post does well, I may even continue writing content around financial stress.

Resources:

Guide to Budgeting

Live Your Life Not Theirs (Novel) 

Pay For College Without Student Loans

Getting Your Finances Back On Track After Quarantine

Is money a stressor for you? Have you ever done anything to help yourself budget or to avoid feeling overwhelmed by anxiety that may be triggered by finances?

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by greekgirl

The Moment I Realized I Need A Therapist

July 1, 2020 in Educate Yourself

For what seems to be my entire life, I feel that I always manage my stress, anxiety, and struggles on my own – which I don’t think now looking back was the best thing to do. If I can be honest, I have always been insanely independent, and don’t like asking for help. I was always “that person” who brushed off the idea of a therapist, or speaking out my problems with someone who may be able to make me feel better.  This is the story of when I came to what felt like my breaking point, and I finally realized that I need to seek help by getting a therapist. 

I’m no different than any Millennial or Gen Zer, and that is that fact that dating and relationships are INCREDIBLY hard, and mentally draining. I’ve always had the best luck meeting people, but the problem was that they were always the wrong people in terms of goals and intentions with me. My breaking point was essentially the last straw where I was mentally done having people waste my time, where I could have been putting that time towards someone different. This caused me to honestly break down for what seemed like weeks, entirely upset with myself, and what was wrong with me. 

I have trouble talking this out to friends, family, and well anyone close to me – this seemed like an absolute safe space given I don’t “really” know any of you. Going back to the story, the way I acted and behaved was truly out of line in my eyes, because no relationship is worth the tears and frustrations that this one caused. I really am a confident person in my day to day, so why was someone who ended up not being significant to me ruining this vision of myself? I finally realized that there are some things I can deal with on my own such as when I have a lot on my plate that stresses me out, or a debacle with a friend over something not that important. Although, the root of a lot of my stress and negative moments mental health-wise was in relation to relationships with potential significant others.

This led me to finally seek help from a third-party source, a therapist. I’m still in the process of seeing which kind of therapist would be the best fit for me, especially since there are different kinds of specialties they have. All I need to say to wrap up is that I don’t know why I was originally so blind sighted to say that I don’t need a therapist. I should be prioritizing my mental health more often – especially more now as an adult.

If you see a therapist, when was the moment you chose to start seeing one? What was your process like in finding one? Were you ever resistant to the idea of therapy? Have you ever reflected on items that specifically trigger anxiety or depressive symptoms?

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by greekgirl

Lessons Learned from Adult Coloring Books

June 9, 2020 in Educate Yourself

I never had an outlet for me to calm down my negative energy, rage, frustration, or even confusion over the years. Although, one day I came across something I used to joke about – adult coloring books. Yes, these trendy, yet almost elementary coloring books I used to mock actually saved me in many dark times. It gave me a creative outlet, somewhere to escape my mind to, along with life lessons I learned within the lines.

If you are looking for a new outlet or activity I highly recommend trying out an adult coloring book of any level. I want to touch on a few life lessons that I learned through my books over time – and I hope they will touch you as well. 

Life lesson #1 – Life isn’t perfect, and we will never be perfect. Appreciate the journey.

I have always been a perfectionist and will continue to give 110% in everything I do. Although, I notice that even when I do a great job at something I beat myself down and look at the little mess ups versus the entire picture. This translated into my adult coloring books in the beginning once I just started. There would be a few little sections of the drawing that I would devote a ton of energy to get perfect, not mess up the color patterns, or get outside the lines. Nonetheless, I would still find a way to get outside the lines. My contentment would turn to rage and frustration, and I would find a breath to stop the anger, and continue. I would get towards the end of finishing up the last blank spot, and admire my finished coloring page. You know what I found – you can’t even find the messed up spots. 

Life’s little hiccups, screwups, and obstacles are only a part of the journey we will take. It’s that journey we take to reach the finish line of every task we do where we should be grateful and admire our positive energy and personal growth. 

Life Lesson #2 – Colors reflect our emotions.

I noticed a common theme in a lot of my pictures that I have completed over time – and decided to use that to my benefit for personal growth emotionally. Days where I had a lot of rage or frustration, I tended to have colors that were more dark or fiery such as black, red, brown, and burnt purple colors. Then, days where I was very positive and calm were shades of blue and yellow. 

Color therapy is something I STRONGLY believe in. I try dressing in colors to make me feel happy, calm, and comfortable. I even got my college to add a “relaxation station” that includes positive and calm feeling color therapy colors and color books for students to use during break times in their days.  In addition, I also write down how I feel on the back of the pages I color – that way I know how I felt when I look back on my finished pictures over time. 

Life Lesson #3 – Find an activity that feels like an escape of time and reality.

Coloring is something that I find soothes me and relieves me of the pain that I can feel. It’s my creative outlet to mess up, try again, and end up with something beautiful. It’s self-improvement where I can grow and advance from easy pages to complex, mini, hard to color spots. I can literally spend hours on a coloring page spending a tiny subsection of the whole picture – and be content spending my time on that. I encourage you to find an activity that you feel is similar. Maybe your activity is reading, sewing, gardening, or even puzzles. These activities are one of the best forms of self help in my opinion. 

The American Art Therapy Association has put out an official statement saying it supports the use of coloring books for “pleasure and self care” but hopes coloring won’t take the place of therapy for those who could benefit.

In closing, I hope you will try adult coloring, or even if you are currently utilizing adult coloring books – let me know how you found them, or got into them 🙂

Have you ever tried adult coloring books? Have you ever seen a coping mechanism that you were resistant to at first but then eventually tried?? Did you enjoy it?

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by greekgirl

Does your Mental Health Status Affect your Relationships?

May 13, 2020 in Be Positive

The answer is yes. Despite being a social butterfly, I find that my mental health is usually the reason most of my relationships either cease to exist, or are hanging on by a thread.

You can be confident, and love the way you look and feel about yourself, but there will always be people that either say the wrong things, or have bad actions to hurt you that can cause an emotional toll on you mentally. I find that my confidence can result in me having high standards for what I “should” have between relationships and friendships, versus how I should appreciate what I am able to get out of them. 

My emotional anxiety can cause me to be all in my head during dates and conversations with significant others where I keep overthinking what I’m saying, and stress about what they think about me. I get upset when friends leave me out, or when I text them, but they don’t reach out, and that makes me feel very alone. The more I think about it recently, is how I’m the problem when my relationships and friendships fail, and how frankly I need a major adjustment.

After a conversation with my mother, along with a few very insightful friends, they all pointed out my flaws when it comes to self-sabotaging relationships with others, and that was a major wake-up call. Obviously, you can self-realize what you do wrong, but hearing it from people you trust, and interact with on a day-to-day basis, they are able to pick up on a lot of things about you. I was able to take their feedback to make major changes in how I approach relationships and friendships, and hopefully they can inspire you too if you may be in a similar situation. 

It’s okay to know what you want in a relationship – but be more open to different people.

Oftentimes, we can have very high standards when it comes to romantic relationships. For me along with many people, you may have made a sky long list of traits and qualities you look for in a significant other. Although, after years of dating, and trying to cross off the check boxes with different people, I finally realized how that is just NOT working. I started to really become honest with myself and decide what I really need out of a relationship to make me become a better person, versus what my definition of perfection was. I asked myself deep questions like, “why do past relationships fail?” “what are my faults?” “what would be a good complement to my traits?” and a bunch of others.

We can all obviously have a few ideas of our “type” we look for, but stop dwelling on the looks, and dive deeper into what you need out of a relationship. This has resulted in me really loving the dating process of emotionally becoming more connected to others through trial and error, and seeing what traits and qualities I really like in people, and who I can actually imagine spending my life with. 

It’s okay to make the extra effort with people

I always was a social butterfly, but when college hit I realized all my friends were away and strong friendships were starting to weaken. Why were my best friends not texting as often anymore? Why did they hang out without me? I felt very lonely and left out of the equation, until I finally realized that I needed to put more effort into friendships and relationships and make a change of me personally being the one to reach out. I stopped waiting, and took action. I text my friends, old and new, all the time. I make the plans with friends instead of waiting for an invite. I found my social circle started to strengthen along with growing dramatically due to taking this step of making the extra effort. 

Be in the moment with people

Ever go on a date or talk to someone you’re interested in, and be entirely in your head? Well, that is me. Despite being confident, I can be a little bit of a worry wart, and constantly think about what I could have said, or try to think of ways to come off better to appeal to the person I was with. This caused me to not be in the moment, and truthfully not be entirely myself. Why should I worry about what I say or what I do, or even what they think about me? I decided to make a pact with myself to be in the moment with everyone whether that be with friends, family, co-workers, or even on dates. I turned my phone off, stopped overthinking, and started to listen more carefully by appreciating the time I would spend with someone. This helped to connect better emotionally, and also strengthen those relationships due to being myself. It’s okay to be quirky and show your real personality because if you aren’t, then you aren’t being true to yourself. 

Stop worrying about what you can’t control

Repeat after me: you are not able to turn someone into who you want them to be, it is okay if you and a friend stop being friends for some uncontrollable reason, and it is okay to feel upset about anything. A lot of things in our lives are something we have no power over, and we need to accept that. I can’t turn a boyfriend into who I want them to be by changing who they are, and I can’t get mad that a friend and I part ways. It’s entirely normal to feel lonely, sad, worry, stress, and upset because it is life. The more I put my energy into what I can control and stop worrying about what I can’t, I feel more empowered. It feels great to make a new friend, or meet someone new that I might be able to connect with on a deeper level, go be with friends that I haven’t seen in months, or even ace an interview or test that I prepped for. This is your life, and you are in the driver’s seat. 

There are probably a million and one different pieces of relationship and friendship advice out there, but personally the ones I highlighted have greatly helped me over the past few months to make new relationships, strengthen friendships, and also grow to be a stronger, more confident person.

If you personally have any advice on this topic as well, I would love to hear them in the comment section. How do you navigate relationships?

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by greekgirl

The Semester Is Over, Now What?

April 29, 2020 in Educate Yourself

Being a college student definitely can be stressful, but during the stay at home order, along with added stress from the coronavirus, it was a nice escape to keep busy with coursework and final projects. Even personally, a now cancelled summer internship has me scrambling to find new ways to grow professionally in my career path. With the college semester coming to an end, all this added time really has me worried thinking about how I will fill my time productively, especially with everything still closed such as gyms, seeing friends in person, or even going swimming since summer is soon approaching.

If you are a student, and looking for some ways to stay busy and productive while still in the stay at home order, check out this list of some potential suggestions!

Write professional or personal blogs:

Writing blogs can be such a great outlet to share your opinions, experiences, and knowledge with the world and your professional community. The best thing about blogging is that it is a way to build your resume, and show your work in a creative outlet as well. Medium.com is my personal favorite platform to use, and has the option to actually monetize your content in order to earn some money!

Find something relaxing:

I think the best thing that I ever invested in for myself is an adult coloring book, and I think the reason why is because of how soothing and relaxing it is to make my mind escape as I color a masterpiece. What makes you absolutely relaxed? Maybe if you like to paint, try painting a canvas or pottery for yourself. Maybe if you love taking relaxing baths or face masks? Take some time to yourself, put on a candle or essential oils and relax in the bath with your face mask in order to be one with your thoughts. 

Learn a new skill:

I have always been a really busybody, and would always “say” I want to do a project or learn a new skill, but wouldn’t have the time. With the stay at home order, this is the perfect opportunity to stop procrastinating and devote parts of your day on projects you have been putting off. A lot of websites such as Pluralsight, Udemy, LinkedIn Learning, and KhanAcademy are now offering free courses where you can learn professional material and get mini-certificated on different subjects. This is a great way to build your resume and set goals for yourself. Maybe you have been putting off a DIY project like a vacation scrapbook, or repainting your room? Now is the perfect time to take out your pictures or take on a more time-consuming project. 

Offer your services:

Right now, we are facing economic uncertainty, especially in the job market. If you are a recent college graduate, or even a current student looking to still grow professionally then it can cause a lot of stress and emotional strain right now. Let’s try to approach this in a new way by finding a solution to what we can control. If you are an education major, try reaching out to neighbors or your local community groups to tutor children who may need homework help. Try freelancing for low compensation to local small businesses that may be struggling with business strategy, accounting, marketing on social media, or scrambling to make a website for online orders. This will result in a great resume builder, and positive experiences that will show you as a strong candidate overcoming obstacles once the job market strengthens.

I hope these ideas find you well, and as students we can join together in order to stay healthy, strengthen our community, and be productive during this extra time!

How are you keeping yourself busy during quarantine? Are there any new skills or hobbies that you want to try? What has that experience been like?

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