SOVA Blog

Learning to say “No” like a pro!

December 6, 2017 in Educate Yourself

I’m a people-pleaser all the way through. Not only do I have my own activities that I like to participate in, but whenever I am asked for help, I always say “Yes!” and “Of course!” I never really thought about it as a problem, as I always told myself that I worked better under stress. Plus, I made people happy by helping them out with their tasks! So isn’t it a win-win for everyone?

Self-care

This year I started to pile on a lot of activities. Many of the things I said “Yes” to actually turned out to be long-term commitments, and now my plate is quite full! Then this fall, I started to feel burnt out. And that’s when it finally hit me:

I can say “No.”

I know what you’re thinking. “Obviously, tea_rex_627, you can always say no.” However, saying no can be really difficult, especially when you’re overly concerned about what other people will think if you turn them down. It often can feel just as stressful to say “No” as it does to say “Yes.” Find out more about how to manage the guilt and stress that comes from saying no.

I found an article in the New York Times to be really helpful in dealing with this kind of problem.

It has some tips on learning to say no, such as practicing it in low-stake situations and using stronger language like “I don’t” instead of “I can’t.” It also talks about some of the psychology behind how we view situations in which we say “No.” It turns out that when you think saying ‘No’ is going to sound confrontational, that actually most people on the receiving end tend not to see it that way!

This week, I was asked if I would be willing to help out with a local group. It would be a time commitment, and while I could probably work it into my schedule, I knew that I was too stressed with all of my current obligations. I politely said “No”, and let me tell you — it felt GREAT!

Need more helping in saying no? Try this exercise and create your Absolute Yes List.  Once you have created a list of your top priorities:

  1. For one week, keep track of how many times you said yes to something that is not on your Absolute Yes List.
  2. At the end of the week, tally up the number.  Are you surprised? Awareness is the first step to realigning your decisions and priorities.
  3. Make a list of five things you’d like to say no to. Then start practicing saying no to them.

What would you say ‘No’ to, if you could with no guilt or consequences? Do you have any other techniques that helped you learn to say no more often? Please share in the comment section below!

My Journey with Multiple Mental Health Diagnoses

November 6, 2017 in Be Positive, Educate Yourself

Dealing with your mental health can be a challenge. For some people, it can become even more challenging when they learn they have multiple mental health diagnoses.

I was first diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), generalized anxiety disorder, and social anxiety. I noticed these disorders often appeared together and can worsened each other’s symptoms. For example, when I would get super stressed and anxious about something, I would start compulsively washing my hands and checking door knobs. Soon, that would cause more anxiety. It was a vicious cycle! However, I knew these were all connected, as they fall under the category of “anxiety disorders”, so it didn’t feel too odd to be diagnosed with several of them. Brain

Behavior therapy helped me control my OCD, and learning to keep good schedules and planning helped me reduce some of the stress that fueled my anxiety. For a while I was doing good, but a few years later my symptoms got worse and new ones appeared, and I was additionally diagnosed with depression.

“Like, really, another diagnosis?” I thought. “This one isn’t even an anxiety disorder!” I began to wonder if I was the only passenger on this multiple diagnosis trip!

However, it turns out that I’m not alone! Scientists have noticed that several anxiety disorders (such as my OCD, generalized anxiety, and social anxiety), as well as major depressive disorder, happen at the same time in a lot of people. This could be because the disorders have similar genetic backgrounds, common biology, and often have the same dimensions of distress and negative emotions. The point is, it’s not that odd or uncommon!

In a way, the common backgrounds help with the treatments, too. Soon after my depression diagnosis I started an antidepressant medication. This medication not only helped me control my depression better, but also helped with a lot of my OCD and anxiety symptoms as well! I have also found that other lifestyle habits of mine–keeping a good schedule, getting enough sleep, exercising, and eating well–also affect all my mental health symptoms.

So, if you ever get more than one diagnosis, don’t be too overwhelmed. You aren’t alone in it, and it is quite possible that you may be able to tackle many of the symptoms at once!

Have you ever had multiple mental health diagnoses? What has your experience been like? Do you have any questions about multiple diagnoses? Let us know below!

Motivation to Move!

October 4, 2017 in Educate Yourself

We’ve all heard about how exercise can help reduce depressive and anxiety symptoms. However, despite knowing how much it can help, it can still be difficult to find the motivation to get off the couch, let alone to get the body moving!

Exercise

While it may be hard to get yourself to go to the gym when you’re feeling down, you can start some habits to help build small amounts of physical activity into your day! This Buzzfeed article has some great tips and tricks to build exercise motivation into your life!

Do you have any advice on how to motivate yourself when you’re unmotivated? Let us know if any of these tips work for you!