SOVA

Supporting Our Valued Adolescents: A place to learn, share your strength, be positive, and grow.

SOVA Blog

by peachtea

Pick Three: Being Productive During Bad Days

May 26, 2020 in Educate Yourself

If you are like me and have emotional dysregulation, then you know that some days you are going to be better than others. There are days when out of the blue, I decide to rearrange my room, and some where I hardly want to get out of bed. I found a trick that helps me to get up and going on days where I just want to  curl up in bed and sleep. It’s called “Pick Three.”

What is it? 

“Pick Three” is an exercise where I decided to pick three activities, tasks, or chores that I want to do that day based on the kind of day I’m having. For example, If I’m feeling really down, one of my activities might be to take a shower and brush my teeth or to call a friend. If I’m having an okay day, I might pick to go for a walk or write my blog post.

Remember the three things you pick don’t have to be housework, or running errands; they can be simple and fun activities such as working on a hobby or reading a chapter of a book. The main goal of “Pick Three” is to keep you from sleeping all day by giving you a focus for the day.  If I finish my three tasks and I start to feel better I may decide to take on more activities for that day. If not, I might just watch some Netflix and have some lunch. This exercise helps me to get myself motivated and out of bed for the day and I hope it helps you too.

Reminders and Tips

  1. It is a good idea to pick your three activities when you get up. This way you can pick things to do based on how you are feeling that day. Doing this can help you stop from getting overwhelmed or feel like you can’t complete your three activities.
  2. If its nice out and you’re feeling well enough, have one of your activities be outside. One of activities can even be simply going outside and sitting on your porch for twenty minutes  to get some fresh air.
  3. Doing the “Pick Three” exercise can also be good when you have a lot of your mind, overwhelmed or anxious. Picking three tasks to do can help you to focus your thoughts and prioritize what needs done.

How are you feeling today? What would you pick as three activities to do based on how you are feeling today?

Tags: , , , , , 4 Comments »

by peachtea

Four Christmas Gifts that Promote Self-Care

December 18, 2019 in Educate Yourself

With the holiday season in full swing, you may be stumped on what to get your friends and family members. I think gifts should show people you care about them, help bring out the individuality of the receiver and bring joy well after the holiday season. I have four ideas that promote self-care that I think fill the three requirements above.

1. Water Bottle

Getting your friend or family member a water bottle is a great way to remind them to stay hydrated. There are plenty of stores that carry many different kinds of water bottles so you are sure to find one that matches the style of the receiver. For a more personal touch, you can even customize one for them online or decorate it yourself. I love giving gifts that are personalized. I am always really excited to give personalized gifts because I can’t wait to see the person’s face when they open it. I gave a friend a really personalized blanket with a picture of their cat’s face on it and they loved it so much. I have a personalized water bottle and since it has stickers of stuff I like, I remember to bring it to my classes so I end up drinking more water.   This gift can be used all throughout the year, anywhere your friend or family member goes.

2. Hat and a Pair of Gloves

Helping your loved ones stay warm this winter season sure shows you care about them. You can find many different styles of hats and gloves to fit your loved one’s fashion style at an inexpensive price, I might add. If you are crafty you can even make the hat and gloves yourself. Even if everyone on your list already has a pair of hats or gloves, giving them another pair can’t hurt, especially if your friends are like me and always losing their gloves. You can also give them a scarf to keep your loved ones warm all throughout the winter season.

3. Gratitude Journal

The gift of a gratitude journal can really brighten your loved one’s day because of its many benefits. Writing in a gratitude journal helps people remember the important things in life and can bring a smile to their faces even on the worst of days. The receiver of this gift can incorporate it into their morning and/or evening routine. That’s what I did when my mom got me a gratitude journal for my birthday. Writing in it helped me to start my day with a smile and end my day feeling calm and content. I really enjoyed writing in my gratitude journal and taking the time to remember all the good things in my life. The cover can be customized to give it a personal touch. The best part of a gratitude journal is the mindfulness it helps people achieve. This mindfulness is something that your friend or family member will have long after the last page of this journal is used.

4. Adult Coloring Books

An adult coloring book might be the gift for a friend or family member that needs some help decompressing after school or work. Adult coloring books have become very popular in recent years, so it’s no wonder they made this list of gift ideas. You can get your loved one a coloring book based on their favorite TV show or movie, or with pictures of their favorite animal.

Adult coloring books are a great way to calm down and use one’s creativity. When I am feeling stressed, I color in my Bobs Burger’s coloring book. Coloring gives me a nice little break from worrying, since I just think about the picture I am coloring in. Coloring really helps to spark creativity. I really enjoy deciding which colors I am going to use and if I am going to add any of my own patterns.  It might not be a bad idea to throwing in a pack of colored pencils with the book so the receiver of this gift can get started coloring right away.

With the holidays coming up it can be hard wondering what to get people. Giving people gifts that can benefit their well-being show how much you care for them. These gift ideas certainly do that, and they all can be personalized for the person receiving them, giving them an extra spark of sediment. Happy Holidays.

What are you planning to give as gifts this year? How do you feel about personalized presents, whether you receive or give them? How does it feel when you exchange gifts with your loved ones? Let us know in the comments!

Tags: , , , , 1 Comment »

by peachtea

How I Avoid Getting Overwhelmed? I Set.

November 6, 2019 in Educate Yourself

To me and a lot of other people I know, extracurricular activities seem to be like potato chips: you can never have just one. When I was in high school, I was involved in a lot of different clubs, a sport, and honor society at my school. During my first semester of college, I did the same thing. I quickly involved myself with four clubs, became a pledge in a co-ed fraternity, took a volunteer opportunity and signed up to do this, along with my fifteen credit course load. Although I was happy to be involved on campus, I soon realized I was getting worn out by my busy schedule. I also couldn’t fully commit myself to some of the activities. The last straw was when I got sick and had to miss a day of class. I didn’t want to overwhelm myself and risk my health, or my grades so I set up rules for myself so I wouldn’t get overwhelmed.

1. Set Priorities

I made a list of everything I was involved in or giving time to and ranked them by importance. First came my health, of course, second came my coursework and third my work-study. My volunteer opportunity is also very important to me because it helps me gain experience in my aspiring career field. I make time for these things first, even if it means missing a meeting or outing with one of my clubs. For example, if I have an optional fellowship event going on in my fraternity one evening, but I also have a test the next day, I will stay in my dorm to study.

2. Set Commitments

I found myself getting involved with so much stuff at the beginning of my semester, but I wasn’t able to focus on any them to the extent I would have liked. I didn’t want to be in a bunch of clubs but not be doing anything in them. I decided to compare my clubs and the time they all required to be effectively a part of. I decided to drop out of one of my clubs because I knew I wouldn’t have the time or energy to be an effective member. It was the right decision for me. On the other hand, I am very involved with the clubs I am in and making a big impact on my campus and my peers.

3. Set Boundaries

I always remind myself that I don’t need to do everything, even in the clubs I am committed to. I don’t need to volunteer myself for every task that is going on, especially on an already busy week. I love helping others, but I remind myself it’s okay to say no. For example, I was going to help with a bake sale one of my clubs was having, but I was very tired and mentally not feeling well. I told them that I couldn’t work at the table that day, which wasn’t a problem because there were already a bunch of people working it.

4.Set Limits

I set limits for myself on how long I can spend on a project for a club and how much energy I put into worrying about it. I do this to make sure I don’t get too distracted from my coursework, which as I stated before, is my second top priority. Making sure I am focusing my energy on my priority makes me feel better, and that way I don’t feel like I didn’t study enough for a test or work well enough on a project. Setting limits also helps me to not get too stressed out about a club project, which is especially important when working in a group.

So now that I have set up these rules in my life my semester is going much more smoothly and I am a lot less overwhelmed. I hope these help. Thanks for reading.

Do you find yourself taking on too many activities? What signs of burning out do you look out for? How do you say no and set boundaries for yourself in the things you do for school, work, and other extracurricular activities?

Tags: , , , 1 Comment »

by peachtea

Staying Clean with Coping Skills

October 15, 2019 in Educate Yourself

It is not uncommon for people who once used self-harm as an unhealthy coping skill to deal with urges and thoughts of relapse. It becomes especially hard to combat those urges when faced with a triggering situation. As someone who is two years clean from self-harming, I have a lot of coping skills that I use to combat thoughts of relapse. I would like to share four of my top coping skills:

1. Safe Sensory Alternatives

When I first started my journey of recovery, this was my go to way to combat urges. At first I would use a comb and brush it against my arm to help myself calm down. The comb provides a sensation that is similar to pain that does not harm one’s body nor leaves any permanent marks.

Farther into recovery I used a toothbrush or lotion, these give you a feeling but not pain. I now only use safe sensory alternatives when I have really bad urges. As I learned how to calm myself down without a physical sensation I used other coping skills.

2. Pros and Cons List

Pro and Cons aren’t just for trying to decide who gets a raise (The Office joke). They can also be helpful for when you are combatting thoughts of relapse. When making a Pro and Con list for this, it’s a little different. The Pros are the Pros of not relapsing and the Cons are the cons of relapsing. For example my pro list would look like: being able to shower comfortably, being proud of myself, not having to worry about infection. My cons would be: anxiety and regret afterwards, having to tell my parents, a chance of serious injury.

Making a Pros and Cons list can be helpful when rationalizing the situation and to help combat negative thoughts of relapse. The list reminds you of all the reasons you stopped hurting yourself in the first place. Pros and Cons lists also help you remind yourself it’s never worth it to hurt yourself and the rewards of staying clean are abundant and worth fighting for.

3. Exercise

Sometimes my urges are triggered by anger either with myself or at a situation. My favorite way to combat urges brought on my anger is by exercising. I personally like to go on the elliptical for just thirty minutes , but any type of physical activity will do.

Exercising helps me to get my anger out and gives me time to think about the situation. Exercising in moderation is always a good idea, even if you aren’t combating urges. I regularly exercise three times a week for thirty minutes just to keep me healthy.

4. Socialize

Having thoughts of relapsing can be scary, but remember you are never alone. When I am having urges, It helps me to know that there are a lot of people that I can turn to. I like to go hang out with friends and just going to get something to eat or watching a movie with them helps me.

When I am at home with my family and am having a bad day I like to spend time with time with them. I like to play board games with my sister, help my dad with the garden, or help my mom make dinner. Staying busy and remembering how much people care for you can really help.

These coping skills might not work for everyone or every time.They are just the top four coping skills that work for me to help combat thoughts of relapse and urges. Remember you are strong and you can do this. Thanks for reading.

Do you have any coping mechanisms or tips that you want to share to avoid negative coping mechanisms? Have you ever had negative coping mechanisms?

Tags: , , 4 Comments »