SOVA Blog

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Improving Sleep

May 31, 2024 in LINKS

While it’s incredibly important to get a good night’s sleep, sleeping patterns and the amount of sleep adolescents get can get jumbled because of mental illness (for example, we’ve talked about “depression naps” and the effects that they can have). Overall, it’s difficult for adolescents to get the recommended amount of sleep they should be getting, and with higher rates of mental illness within this age group today, it can be even more difficult because of the ways that it can affect your sleep, such as depression napping and insomnia.

There are tons of resources available online and through app stores that offer ways to contribute to measuring and stabilizing your sleeping patterns, but we’ve pulled a few that you can check out below!

Flux You can install Flux on your computer so that your screen automatically adjusts with the sun. Screens emit brighter, blue lighting that can hurt the eyes, especially at night. Flux dims your computer to a softer, orange color at sunset, and you can adjust how strong the color and softness are.

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Sleep with Me This podcast is dedicated to help you fall asleep by telling bedtime stories. The host, Drew Ackerman, takes a comedic approach in his story choice and storytelling, but still does so in a way that helps the listener not feel like they have to pay attention and eventually drifting off to sleep. There are over 700 episodes too, so you don’t have to worry about running out of content.

There are also other podcasts available meant to help the listener sleep. You can check out other lists for more info and ideas.

Pzizz Science-based and supported, Pzizz uses soft music, voices, and sound effects to help you fall and stay asleep. It’s not just limited for sleeping at night, and includes options if you want to take a nap and to help you stay focused.

Do you use anything on your phone or computer to help you fall and stay asleep at appropriate times? If you nap (whether voluntarily or involuntarily), what have you tried to make sure yo

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Some Facts About Memorial Day

May 27, 2024 in Be Positive

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Decorating soldiers’ graves is a very ancient tradition, and the practice of doing it on a specific day has had all kinds of names in different communities. One of the most common was “Decoration Day.”

The name “Memorial Day” is pretty recent! In 1968, Congress passed a law that named the day “Memorial Day” and made it on the last Monday of May, so workers could have a three day weekend. (The act also includes Veterans’ Day, Labor Day, and a couple of other holidays.)

Memorial Day is about remembering and honoring soldiers who died in wars. Almost every family has at least one member who fought in some kind of conflict. Involvement in war raises risk of depression and anxiety both for the person who participates and for others in the family, especially children.

Even if you don’t have a family member who lost their life in a war, Memorial Day reminds us to be grateful that there were so many people who were willing to fight to preserve the good in society. Which means it’s a reason to express gratitude. And the discipline of expressing gratitude is a super healing discipline.

Have a relaxing and peaceful holiday.

Has your family lost members to wars? What are you grateful for this Memorial Day? Tell us in the comments.

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Getting Things Done

May 24, 2024 in Educate Yourself

Each day brings something different . For those in school, finals and big assignments may be coming up soon, and it can be daunting to figure out how to get everything done, especially with the anxiety you may be feeling with these tasks on top of the anxiety with everything else going on. Ironically, if you feel anxiety when it comes to getting tasks completed, those symptoms of anxiety may actually delay you from starting them, making it take even longer to get everything done. Distractions around you like your phone, bed, and other tabs don’t help either.

Overall, it’s overwhelming and messy.

So, if you have big things that you need to get done coming up – or even if you want to make sure you can stay on task when everything feels distracting – there are ways to focus on them without these daunting anxious feelings.

One way to do this is by dividing your work into intervals. This is known as the Pomodoro Technique, where you spend a set amount of time focusing on whatever you need to focus on, take a small break, and then repeat. The amount of time you choose to do your work can vary depending on how long you realistically think you can focus. Some may be able to do a half-hour of their work, take a three minute break, and repeat until they’re done, while others may think that spending ten minutes working is the most realistic with five minute breaks. Everyone works differently.

There are a ton of apps that you can use that lets you set how long you want these intervals and breaks to be. Some include Be Focused, the Tomato Timer, and Engross. You can check them out and choose what’s best for you depending on what device you want to have the timer on, how they look, and how effective they are.

How are you dividing your time at home? Do you have any apps that you use for productivity? How do they affect your stress and anxiety

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Keeping Your Emotions in Check

May 21, 2024 in Social Media Guide

The Internet is both a blessing and a curse. It gives us access to any information from any part of the world, allows us to talk and develop relationships with people we may have otherwise never encountered offline, and is always, always available.

This constant access and ability to talk to anyone has its perks, but it also has the very high chances of us encountering people and information that will affect us negatively. Being able to go online whenever we want also means that we may encounter this when our emotions are already high, we’re already feeling vulnerable, or are experiencing the intense negative effects of mental illness, so when we run into people and things that we don’t like, our chances of acting out and engaging in negative interactions can increase. Most of our interactions on social media are text-based, so we don’t realize just how much our words can affect others when we lash out at them, because texting and typing is so much more difficult to interpret than face-to-face interaction. It can feel harsher, colder, and so much more meaner than we already feel, and we can’t delete or take back the things we send once they’re online. 

As we all know now, it’s impossible to avoid going online, especially this year. While difficult, it was still easier to go off the grid and take breaks before classes and work were all online. It was easier to put our phones on “do not disturb” when we just didn’t have the energy to talk to anyone, but this year, our only way of talking to people is over the phone and online. And in a year of bad and stressful news that constantly has us doomscrolling and refreshing, our likelihood of snapping is even higher.

So how do we avoid leaving a nasty comment on someone’s post, DM’ing someone to criticize them, or saying something that could be hurtful in the middle of an online class or meeting? There are many ways to take a step back and collect ourselves; closing your eyes, taking a couple of deep breaths, even turning off your video and muting yourself for a few seconds can give the opportunity to briefly calm down. If you’re already in a negative state and want to go on social media, ask yourself what you want to do online and what sites will help you best avoid content that you don’t want to see. These are just a couple of examples, but it’s important to keep in mind that when we’re already on edge, one single thing or comment can have us acting in a way that we might immediately regret.

Have you ever lashed out online? Have you ever been tempted to? What advice do you have for keeping your emotions in check when you encounter things you don’t like on social media?

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How to Use Empathy

May 17, 2024 in LINKS

This video was based on a TED talk by Dr. Brené Brown. She is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent more than a decade studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame.

Have you been on either side of the hole? Have you ever climbed down with a friend?

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When Should You Block Someone?

May 14, 2024 in Social Media Guide

We all want to have the best experience that we can on social media. Even if it seems that there’s a lot going at once online, from the 24/7 news cycle to the millions of accounts that we can encounter, we still have the ability to control our experience. We can choose who we want to follow, what topics and tags to track, and can go private so we can limit who we want to engage with.

Blocking doesn’t just give you the ability to completely hide someone’s account and their content from yours, but it prevents that person from ever having access to viewing and interacting with your account too. Everyone has their different reasons for wanting to block someone, but essentially, it’s a last-resort, final move to let someone else know that they do not have the right to be a presence in your online life (and by extension, your real life) and they are having a negative impact on you.

Most of the time, blocking is warranted and done for safety, security, and for a healthier state of mind. These include accounts that belong to an ex (especially ones who are toxic), companies or people who promote content that can trigger you (like dieting or #fitspo accounts), or accounts that spread messages about hate (especially ones that attack your identity). Blocking people who you know who have negatively impacted you, like through bullying, toxic friendships, and constant harassment and contact, can also help improve your well-being.

Blocking can be tricky though, especially when it comes to people you know. If the person finds out they’ve been blocked, for example, they may get upset, especially if they don’t think they should have been blocked. Some may see it as a sign of being passive-aggressive if there wasn’t a conversation about how both of you have been feeling, and it can escalate into conversations or arguments that can affect everyone negatively. Although more direct, blocking can be interpreted the same way people interpret being subtweeted: for example, people getting blocked can make them feel anxious or guilty.

Relationships in general can be hard to navigate, but social media and the power to indirectly tell someone who don’t want them around adds another element. There are many reasons to warrant blocking, but if the people you’re blocking are those you know and you feel comfortable talking to them about any issues that you are having, it’s worth trying to find a way talking through it first before hitting the “block” button.

Have you ever blocked any accounts? Did they ever belong to anyone you know? What do you think warrants a block?

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Self-Compassion

May 11, 2024 in LINKS

Dr. Kristin Neff, Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at University of Texas at Austin, has spent much of her career researching self-compassion. What is self-compassion? How is self-compassion helpful? How can we get better at having compassion for ourselves? Read on to find out!

Neff writes, “Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings.” She emphasizes the humanness of mistakes, losses, and disappointment; we all share these common experiences and feelings. Having the same compassion for ourselves that we would have for a friend is a key step towards self-acceptance.

Kristin Neff has a lot of guided practices and self-compassion exercises available on her website. Here are some journaling ideas if you are hoping to get started on your self-compassion journey:

  1. How do you respond to a friend who is struggling or who has made a mistake? How do you respond to yourself when you are struggling or have made a mistake? Oftentimes we are far more critical of ourselves than we would be if a friend were in the same situation. How can you apply the compassion you would have for a friend to yourself?
  2. Reframe your self-critical thoughts as kinder and gentler thoughts. Maybe you got a bad grade on a school project, and your inner critic is telling you “you are stupid and worthless.” Take a moment to stop and notice this thought, understand where it is coming from, and talk back to it. You might say to your inner critic “I care about my grades, but ruminating about one project is not making me feel good. I choose to have compassion for myself and acknowledge that failure is an inevitable part of life and I will fail at times. I will try to do better on the next project, but for now, I am choosing self-compassion.”
  3. Keep a self-compassion journal. Each night, write down things that made you feel bad throughout the day. Maybe you were upset with a friend and said something mean that you regret. Maybe you didn’t perform as well in a sports game as you would have liked. Maybe you judged yourself for eating a bag of chips after a long day at school. How can you respond to these situations with more self-compassion? How can you comfort yourself in response to these negative feelings?

For more tips on self-compassion, we recommend checking out Kristen Neff’s book, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, or visiting her website at https://self-compassion.org/.

What is something that you have judged yourself for recently? How can you respond with greater self-compassion? Comment down below!

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How to Discuss Hard Topics with Parents

May 7, 2024 in Educate Yourself

Although talking to friends often comes more naturally, there are some situations in which parents or guardians can shed a brighter light on a tough situation than your peers. Whether you feel that your relationship is strong with your parents or not, they are the ones who care more about your well-being than anyone else. Tough subjects to bring up with parents can include a wide range of topics, anywhere from a speeding ticket to self-harm. Here are 3 steps to help you feel ready to approach a tough subject.

1. Decide before you begin talking what your goal is.

Knowing ahead of time what you want to get out of your conversation can help you stay calm and prevent the conversation from leading down a different path. You may want specific advice, or you may just want to be listened to without judgement. Either way, being prepared can help you and the adult stick to what will be most beneficial for you.

2. Recognize your feelings and be upfront about them.

More often than not hard subjects are hard because of the emotion behind them. You could be scared, ashamed, or simply embarrassed to talk about certain things with your parents, but the best way to deal with those feelings is to be honest about them. For example, you could say, “I need to talk to you, but I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you.” By letting your parents know how you are feeling, they can be better equipped to help, and you can know that you are being heard.

3. Pick a good time to talk.

Just as being calm yourself can help when approaching a difficult talk, things will go more smoothly if your parent is calm as well. Try to find a time when they are not busy working on something else. If you are unsure, tell them that you need to talk and ask when would be a good time for them.

Overall, thoughtful planning is what will help you the most when discussing something difficult with a parent. By following these steps, you will give you and your parent the best shot at working through it together.

You can also read more about talking to parents in general and about difficult topics at http://teenshealth.org/teen/your_mind/Parents/talk_to_parents.html#

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Do you think these are helpful tips? Or do you have more tips for people talking about difficult topics? Tell us about them!

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The Act of Smiling

May 3, 2024 in Be Positive, LINKS

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You might have heard the phrase that it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. The amount of muscles that it takes is up for debate (some places say it takes 13 to smile and 33 to frown, some say 22 to smile and 37 to frown) and it’s not really a fact – it hasn’t even been proven to be true – but the mentality remains: it’s better to smile than it is to frown, and takes less effort.

Happiness itself isn’t a choice; mental illness can make it difficult to feel positive and happy, but just the act of smiling can make a difference. Just like deep breathing or going for a walk, this action sends messages to your brain to help lift up your mood. Laughing also has the same effect, but sometimes that can feel like too much effort at times (after all, forcing laughter can feel so awkward). Choosing to smile and making yourself lift the corners of your mouth upwards activates the release of hormones like dopamine and endorphins, which can make you feel better and combat stress.

Then of course, there’s the common belief that smiling is also contagious. This goes both ways: by smiling, you might inspire someone around you, whether you know them or not, to feel a little happier and smile themselves, or you can surround yourself with people who have a smiley disposition and feel the effects of being around that.

It might seem silly to try smiling at nothing, but it can be a boost of energy and positivity by using just a few muscles (13, or 22, or whatever number it is depending on who you ask).

Have you ever tried smiling without any reason? What do you think of the idea? What makes you smile?

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Rewriting Nightmares

April 29, 2024 in Educate Yourself

Nightmares are never fun. They can feel like horror movies come to life, often times created specifically for you and the things that terrify and worry you the most. We all experience nightmares, but between 2-8% of adults are affected by them to the point that their sleeping patterns are drastically disrupted. Children between the ages of 3-6 are more likely to be affected by nightmares and have trouble getting rest as well, which can be especially damaging considering that they need between 10-13 hours of sleep.

These effects are also concerning when tied in with other statistics about mental health. Those coping with a mental illness are likely to have trouble sleeping, and there is research showing that the less sleep an adolescent gets, the likelier they are to have suicide ideation and/or use substances. Insomnia symptoms and sleep can be affected for a number of reasons, including anxiety buildup, depression naps that throw off the sleep cycle, and of course, nightmares.

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It can be difficult functioning for those having trouble sleeping and those who are prone to being shaken up by the nightmares they experience. However, addressing your nightmares can not help you understand the state of your mental health, but confronting and rewriting them may potentially help you feel better. This is known as imagery re-scripting therapy and imagery exposure therapy. Through these methods of rewriting nightmares to a more satisfying ending and exposing people to the nightmares that worry them (think of it as “confronting one’s fears”), people may experience nightmares less frequently and less intensely and it can help them with their stress.

Trying to get a good night’s rest can be difficult. Not only can activities, school, and other sorts of events get in the way, but worrying about said events, mental illness, and nightmares – whether they’re created by these situations or not – can also have a large impact. Taking control of all of these can be hard and even downright impossible, but trying something like tackling nightmares you’ve experienced and changing the narrative may be a place to start.

Do you experience nightmares? Do you remember them, and if so, what effect did they have on you? Have you ever tried rewriting situations that worry you into something that’s more positive? Would you consider trying it?

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