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The Real Questions and Answers About Therapy

July 26, 2024 in Educate Yourself

For this blog post, I interviewed a therapist to ask questions about how and why therapy could help people with depression and anxiety. His name is Gary Sadler, a Transition Care Coordinator at Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh’s Division of Adolescent and Young Adult Medicine. While he explained that his work covers more than just therapy, he does frequently counsel teens and young adults who are depressed or who have anxiety.

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The first question I asked was basically, “Why does therapy work?”

Mr. Sadler explained that often people think that medication alone will help them to feel better. He said that while this sometimes is enough, research shows that the most effective method is the combination of medication and therapy. He says that talking to a third party about “whats going on in your life” helps to improve depressive symptoms. He explains, “I always stress to the patient that it is their therapy, it’s not my therapy. I’m here to listen, I’m here to interpret. You end up helping yourself by just talking about it.”

Next, I asked, “How do you help patients to feel comfortable?”

He said that he always begins by introducing himself and letting the patient tell him first a little bit about themselves. He will let them know, “I want to get to know you and know who you are as a person.” He also says that building trust and explaining confidentiality are key. He says, “Hopefully we can reach that level so that the person doesn’t feel that if I tell you something, you’re going to share that with someone else, because I’m not.”

I followed up by asking him to explain patient confidentiality.

He explained, “The general rule is that confidentiality is guaranteed to the patient when it comes to mental health. [In Pennsylvania] You can be as young as 14 years old and you can request mental health treatment and that treatment, and those notes and those conversations are protected. And for me to release that information would require approval from the patient, except if there was any type of subject matter or topic that came up or statement that was made [with intent to] hurt someone else, or if they’re going to hurt themselves, and then it would be that I may have to report it.”

I then asked, “How can you tell if your therapy sessions are going well or not?”

His answer was that if he is talking more than the patient, then they are not going well. “The patient should be doing a lot more talking.” He also said that at the end of every session, he does a “summary and check in,” by summarizing what has been discussed and seeing how the patient is feeling. He says he will ask, “How did you feel about today’s session? Is there anything that made you uncomfortable? Is there anything that we may have not discussed? That you maybe want to discuss the next time we meet? How did you feel?”

I finished by asking him if there was anything else that he thought was important for young adults or teens who are considering treatment to know.

He says, “I think the most important thing is to understand that it is okay to be depressed. It’s okay to have some form of anxiety. So if you have some sort of mental illness or if someone puts a label on it, it’s not something permanent. Not to really feel like you know I don’t want to go into treatment because everybody is going to find out. Because again, it’s a diagnosis, but the diagnosis is only there to support how we intervene. The diagnosis is not something that’s to be shared with everybody, and most people that go through any type of therapy for depression end up becoming better. I mean the statistics are, and the research is out there, that a lot of people recover. It really is that effective.”

So there you have it. What do you think? Let us know!

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What to Expect on Your First Day of Therapy

July 25, 2024 in Educate Yourself

Many people are reluctant about starting therapy or counseling. There are a number of unknowns and reasons that can create this hesitation. Therefore, we thought it would be good to address some common parts of a first therapy session such as the assessment.

Usually, therapists will do an assessment during the first session in an effort to help them get to know the client and to better understand the client’s goals for therapy. This assessment can be different among therapists because every therapist has their preferred way of handling the first session.

Photo Credit: felicianorton Flickr via Compfight cc
Photo Credit: felicianorton Flickr via Compfight cc

In a Huffington Post article titled “Going To Therapy For The First Time? Here’s What To Expect,” Jeannie Bertoli, Ph.D., a counselor, was asked about what to expect in the first session. She said, “Some therapists do a first session by getting an assessment of the current problem. Some will do background, so they’ll understand your childhood and any medical issues. Some will just listen and say ‘Uh huh’ a lot, and will be a more passive therapist, and some will really engage with you about what’s going on right now, and get to the depth of it.”

“Assessment” can also be an intimidating word because it sounds similar to taking an exam or test. However, in therapy, an assessment is a set of questions asked by the mental health professional.  It’s a very important part of therapy because it helps the therapist get a well-rounded idea of what’s going on with you. Assessment questions aim to help with many aspects of counseling such as the following:

  1. Reasons why the individual is seeking therapy
  2. Client background or history, including information about the problem (e.g., when did it start)
  3. What goals the client has for the problem

To help address the aims of therapy, here are several common questions that will most likely be asked:

  1. What brings you in today?
  2. What would you say is your main concern?
  3. Have you ever tried therapy before, and if so, what was your experience?
  4. Have you had any recent changes in appetite, energy, or mood lately?

Before going into the first session (or any therapy session), it is important to remember that the client is actually the one in charge, not the mental health professional. In order to get the most out of each session, it is important to speak up and work together with your therapist. Many individuals seeking therapy for the first time do not realize how active their role is or how much talking they might do. Remember, a    therapist or counselor is an objective, professional resource who is not there to judge you or force you to disclose anything that makes you uncomfortable. Bertoli points out in the Huffington Post article that, “You’re the co-creator of this relationship. If you go in saying , ‘Here are my goals, here are my expectations, my preferences for how to proceed, what matters to me the most,’ — if you go in prepared and not looking to take a backseat … you will have the most success.” If you’re feeling nervous before your first therapy session, it can be helpful to make a list of things you want to talk about or review any of the questions above.

Lastly, there is no required “criteria” to see a therapist and you do not have to be in crisis to get help. Therapists are there to help people of all ages live happier, healthier and more productive lives.  You may have to “shop around” for the perfect fit between you and your therapist, but ideally you should find someone who makes you feel comfortable and safe to talk openly about wherever your mind takes you. You cannot fail at therapy and there is no right or wrong way to do it.

Have you ever attended therapy? What was your experience? Do you want to start therapy, but have similar hesitations?  If you have any questions or comments about the subject of today’s post, please let us know in the comment section below!

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Social Media & Self Esteem

July 24, 2024 in Social Media Guide

The urge to maintain an online presence can be exhausting. Sure, social media isn’t always negative, but there are important things to keep in mind about using social media that can prevent it from being a bad experience. For example, monitoring your self-esteem as you use social media. It’s important to be self-aware about the way social media makes us feel. If you use a particular social media site and you come away feeling worse about yourself because of it, it might be time to reconsider the use of that platform. If I log onto Facebook and become frustrated and unhappy about my life because I compare it to others, it’s important that I consider changing the way I use the site. This might mean changing how long I use Facebook, or who I am interacting with, maybe even considering if it’s worthwhile to use the site at all.

Social media can have a lasting impact on our self-esteem. Bustle.com posted an article explaining the ways that social media affects our self-esteem. Their list includes items like:

1)      Social media can lead us to disengage from our real experiences. When we’re too busy worried

Photo Credit: Visual Content Flickr via Compfight cc
Photo Credit: Visual Content Flickr via Compfight cc

about getting the perfect pic of the view, we can end up missing the view itself.

2)      Social media can bring about false connections with others. Because online interactions are not grounded in real-life, this can mean they lack the power that face-to-face exchanges have. This lacking can affect the way we view ourselves. Bustle points out that this doesn’t mean we can’t make valuable connections online, it just means we’re at risk of building false connections when there’s no face-to-face contact.

3)      Social media can bring on a battle for likes. It’s very hard to not compare the amount of likes across people and content. It’s also hard not to makes those likes into a reflection of self-worth. The more likes, the better we feel. But what kind of affect does it have on you when you don’t get the number of likes you wanted?

All of these points are important to keep in mind while using social media. Is the reward worth the cost? Social media is a complicated thing. It’s important to be mindful of the way it makes us feel, and to make changes to be sure social media isn’t taking a hit on self-esteem.

What do you do to avoid social media hurting your self-esteem?

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Going Private

July 23, 2024 in Social Media Guide

You may think of two different things when you think about social media. You may think that social media makes everyone an open book, spilling all their secrets and sharing too much information so you know where they are, what they’re eating, and who they’re with at any given moment. You may alternatively think that social media is fake and controlled, and that people on social media only share what they think will get them the most attention.

Regardless, social media is a place where we know that almost any and everyone can see the content we create and share, and with that may come a need to make sure that they think what we put up is valid. It can be stressful to always think about pleasing everyone, and the fear that someone you don’t know as well (or don’t even know at all!) can find your content and respond with a negative comment can be anxiety-inducing.

Fortunately, most, if not nearly every social media platform comes with an option to go private, or at the very least, control who sees your profile and your accounts. Twitter and Instagram give you the ability to lock your account completely and limit who follows you, because you have to approve those who request to follow you. Snapchat has the option for you to only allow friends you add to see your content, and Facebook lets you decide how much anyone can see on your account – friends included.

Having this kind of control and privacy can give you a peace of mind: the people you approve to follow your account are those you trust, and you don’t have to feel like you’re trying to get their approval all of the time. There’s also the safety aspect too: only having a few people have access to your information means that it’s less likely to get out and receive unwanted attention. Overall, there’s been an increase in demand from adolescents to make accounts automatically private for these reasons, alongside others.

Take finstas. While often regarded as a sillier private space, adolescents say that they feel more like their genuine selves and don’t hesitate to hit the “share” button because they’re comfortable with those following them. And while silly, they’re still a safe place. Queer adolescents have commented that having this separate account takes the weight off of their shoulders about receiving hateful comments or those they’re not close with speculating about their sexuality. 

While getting likes and comments may be validating, they can also be damaging to your mental health and in comparing yourself to others. Private accounts can give you a space to fully be yourself without worrying about these statistics and may increase your enjoyment on social media as a whole.


Are your accounts locked? Are there some that are unlocked and some that you keep completely private? How do you think limiting the people you have follow you impacts  your social media use?

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I’m Not Clicking with My Therapist

July 22, 2024 in Educate Yourself

Photo Credit: Jake.Christopher. Flickr via Compfight cc
Photo Credit: Jake.Christopher. Flickr via Compfight cc

You’ve decided to get professional help for the depression and anxiety you’ve been dealing with these last couple of months. After a few appointments with your new therapist, you feel like things just aren’t going well- you don’t feel heard or understood, you don’t feel like you’re getting the help you need, or maybe you sense a disconnect between you and the helping professional. Where do you go from here?

It can take a lot of courage to commit to going to therapy. And when things aren’t seeming to click with your therapist, it can be really disheartening. The good news is this is common for so many people. Finding the right fit can be a process, but getting the help you need and deserve is absolutely worth it!

Some people connect with their therapist right away, but this is not the norm. Often, it is a trial-and-error process. While it’s good to give the helping process a chance for a few sessions, you’ve got to listen to your gut if you feel like things aren’t working after giving it some time. You-as the client- are in control of the sessions! When things aren’t going well, it might be good to start by expressing your concerns to the therapist. Let them know that you aren’t getting what you need out of the sessions and make suggestions for how things could change for the better. Another option is to begin to look for another therapist, especially one that specializes in the care you need (anxiety and/or depression, grief and loss). A great website that has a lot of information on therapists is https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/

Do you have a story about finding the right fit for you in therapy? We’d love to hear in the comments below!

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YouTube, YouTubers, and Relationships

July 19, 2024 in Social Media Guide

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It’s difficult not to feel even a little jealous when scrolling through our numerous feeds, seeing people we know participating in adventurous activities and hanging out with other people, wishing we could do the same instead of viewing someone else doing so on a screen. FOMO is an all too familiar term, but recently, the fear of missing out has only intensified with the increased use of social media, particularly when it comes to the endless material from YouTube, one of the most popular sites for adolescents.

When watching our favorite television shows and movies, we find ourselves drawn to certain characters and form an attachment to them. These characters are usually a huge contributor to why we like what we consume so much; we develop somewhat of a one-sided relationship to them, wanting to see them succeed, viewing them as a role model, or perhaps seeing them in a romantic light. These parasocial relationships – a one-sided relationship with the media we consume – are taken to the next level when it comes to actual people. However, while this was pretty much limited to glitzy Hollywood celebrities, YouTube culture and influencers have taken these relationships to an entirely new level.

Unlike fictional characters, who don’t exist, or celebrities, who are unattainable, there’s something about watching someone who’s just like us living a luxurious, yet attainable life. Even though we aren’t capturing our lives on film and uploading them in easily consumable 20 minute vlogs, we can relate to their easy senses of humor, their mundane tasks and chores, their get-togethers with their friends who we also watch. It’s like we’re being invited into their lives, almost as if we’re their friends as well.

Some say that these YouTube parasocial relationships can have its benefits, giving adolescents with low self-esteem find their ideal selves, using YouTubers to find traits that they too could have and adapting them. By seeing these YouTubers as an ideal, adolescents can be more motivated to set goals for themselves to accomplish something akin to what these relatable creators do. However, it’s important to remember that these relationships aren’t even that, as they are one-sided and there is no reciprocity from the YouTuber’s side, simply because they don’t know the viewer beyond a statistic. These imagined relationships with the creator can play a large role in how adolescents socially develop and how they view relationships away from the screen with those they physically interact with.

Of course, YouTube is still a source of entertainment at the end of the day. We enjoy watching people, whether fictional, celebrities, or creator, because there’s something about them that appeals to us. Though at the end of the day, the screen and reality are two different worlds.


Do you watch YouTubers? If so, why do you watch them? Do you think watching vlogs can affect your view on relationships?

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How do you respond to life’s struggles?

July 18, 2024 in Be Positive

Thoughts about how you approach a situation.

Do you have any advice for others going through struggles in life?

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A shoulder to lean on

July 17, 2024 in Educate Yourself

This is a photo of two wooden dolls embracing one another in a hug.

If you really needed help, who could you count on? You might think first of a friend your own age, and while they may be good at listening and empathizing with you, they might not know what kind of advice to give you. Not because they don’t want to help, but they just haven’t had enough experience.  Sometimes going to a supportive adult can help a lot.  With time, you get experience, and experience helps you to learn what things work well – and what things do not.  A supportive adult can be your parent, relative, teacher, priest, therapist, nurse, doctor.  But how do you know they are someone you can depend on?

Ask yourself:

  • Does this person care about me? do they want me to succeed?
  • Are they someone who I consider a role model? someone I wouldn’t mind being like when I get older?
  • Have they been kind to me in the past?
  • Do they listen to what I have to say?
  • Do they respect me and my decisions?

These questions might help you figure it out. If you don’t have a supportive adult, spend some time sharing that with a teacher or healthcare provider who works with young people. These adults spend a lot of time caring for and giving advice to young people and are often willing to listen and lend a helping hand.

How has a supportive adult helped you in the past? Are there any questions you would add to our list?

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How’s it going? Fine…

July 16, 2024 in Educate Yourself

A few of your comments on previous articles mentioned that some of us feel looking back, we wish we would have opened up more with a therapist.

What are your worries about opening up? Some people may worry about:

  • Feeling judged
  • Feeling embarrassed
  • Being told that something is wrong with them
  • Privacy
  • Being let down
  • Getting hurt
  • Not being able to deal with raw emotions
  • Having a panic attack

Of course these are all valid  concerns. Some things that may help is that a therapist’s job is to listen to people’s thoughts and about intimate details of their lives. This means that probably what you are telling them is a version of something they have heard before or at least something they have training in.

A therapist’s role includes:

  • Making you feel safe and comfortable
  • Listening without judgment
  • Helping you reach the goals of your therapy
  • Keeping what you tell them private
  • Helping you gage if you need to take a break if your emotions are too strong

If you are getting therapy and you feel like you are not there yet and cannot open up enough with them, be honest. Let them know that you are having a hard time opening up and sharing. This is something they can help you work on! Also if it’s not a right fit, its ok to tell them that too.

Have you had trouble opening up to a therapist? Are there ways you overcame this?

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Using Weighted Blankets to Stay Calm

July 15, 2024 in Educate Yourself

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It feels that there are a ton of products available recently to help your mental health, particularly with calming anxiety. Some use essential oils, or you may have heard of light lamps, and of course, the classic stress relief ball

Weighted blankets have started to become more popular recently. These products are a level up if you’re the type of person who finds comfort in burying yourself under the covers as a coping mechanism to calm down: they’re heavier versions of regular blankets ranging from 4 to 30 pounds specifically designed to help those with disorders just as anxiety, autism, and insomnia, with physicians recommending getting one that’s 10% of your body weight. The weight is evenly distributed and is meant to help “ground” the user – not in a way that traps them – but provides some sort of stability as they relax or sleep.

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The benefits of weighted blankets are mostly from people sharing anecdotes, or their personal stories about it, but some researchers have found that using a weighted blanket shows an increase in activity in people’s parasympathetic system (or the part of the nervous system that your body uses to rest and stay calm). Others have found that 78% of participants in their study preferred a weighted blankets as a calming mechanism and 63% reported lower anxiety. Users who have shared their experiences with weighted blankets include not just those experiencing anxiety, but PTSD as well, stating that it serves as a distraction for their brain.

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What’s important to keep in mind is that there hasn’t been as much research on the product and you should not use this if you have conditions such as sleep apnea or other sleep disorders, respiratory and/or circulation problems, or have a chronic health condition. Because of the weight and the material, weighted blankets can have a tendency to get too hot too, which may not be the best option during the summertime. It’s also not a cure-all: weighted blankets shouldn’t be used everyday nor as a substitute for therapy or medication.

If you have trouble sleeping at night due to anxiety or because of depression, need help coping help with anxiety or panic attacks, or just need something to help keep you calm when things get too overwhelming however, using a weighted blanket may be an option to consider.


Have you ever used a weighted blanket? How do you think they would be different than regular blankets? What other mechanisms have you used to relax and keep calm when you’re feeling overwhelmed?