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Supporting Our Valued Adolescents: A place to learn, share your strength, be positive, and grow.

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Queer Adolescents of Color

July 9, 2024 in LINKS

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QPOC, an acronym standing for “queer people of color,” are minorities in several ways. Not only are they racial minorities, but they are also members of the LGBTQ+ community. This intersectionality – the ways that things like discrimination and disadvantages overlap if you belong to more than one marginalized group – can be difficult, especially during adolescence.

Not only are these adolescents figuring out where they belong in their community and how much they want to show of their race and culture (think of code-switching, for example), but they are also trying to figure out their sexuality. The way they view sexuality and queerness can also be affected by their culture’s views on the topic, which may make it harder for them to come to terms with. One recent example of this is the controversy associated with Kevin Hart and the Oscars: he lost the hosting job because of his homophobic tweets, and while Ellen DeGeneres, a white lesbian, interviewed him about the topic, black queer people responded about how the situation is much different for them.

Because the rates of mental illness in racial minorities, LGBTQ+ people, and adolescents are alarmingly high, it’s almost not surprising to see that that QPOC youth have a high risk of being diagnosed with a mental illness as well. Unfortunately, because of the issues that come with intersectionality, it can be even more difficult to access treatment for reasons such as the potential higher stigma against mental illness and therapy, and the process of deciding who they would feel comfortable coming out to. As a whole, QPOC are also at high risk for items such as substance abuse, trauma, suicidal intention, and poor relationships with adults, as well as the threat of rejection, discrimination, and violence.

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Fortunately, people are beginning to pay more attention to the needs of queer adolescents of color. Articles are discussing ways that clinicians from privileged spaces (i.e. white, cisgender, and straight) can keep their patients’ identities in mind and how to be mindful of a potentially drastic power dynamic, while others are giving attention to minority therapists and giving advice on how to find one. Groups and popular websites are creating spaces where queer youth of color can share their experiences and stories in order to let others know that they are not alone, as well as the forgotten histories of other QPOC. And of course, queer youths of color are making their voices known through social media.

Representation is also key in helping QPOC. Reports come out annually about how much minorities, such as women, POC, and LGBTQ+ people, are shown on TV shows and movies throughout that year. Most of these generally have an optimistic tone, but there doesn’t seem to be much reported about the overlap, such as lesbians of color. This is especially true for shows meant for tweens and teens, like the CW, where queer characters, especially women, are almost always white. Adolescents who identify as QPOC and watch shows that appeal to them are not likely to see themselves on screen, therefore making them feel even more invisible, as they may already have trouble fitting in with what is considered to be “normal” development patterns at adolescence.

If you are a QPOC, know someone who is one, or want to find out more resources, the National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network provides more information, including a directory of therapists who are QPOC, where you can learn more about how intersectionality affects them. 

Are you a QPOC? If you are one, how does your race, sexuality, and/or gender affect you? How do you think intersectionality, or belonging to more than one marginalized group, can affect one’s identity and mental health?

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Managing Guilt Online

July 8, 2024 in Social Media Guide

It’s really easy to unintentionally hurt people’s feelings online. We may not even know we’re doing it, and it’s impossible to predict how people who follow us may respond, but everything online is going to cause some sort of reaction, no matter how big or small.

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Because of this, we may find ourselves worrying how people, whether specific people or people as a whole, are going to react to the kind of content we post. While thinking about how audiences will respond to social media posts is incredibly common, those with anxiety may experience this worry on another level. This is due to the tendency for those with anxiety to “mind read,” or basing their actions and emotions in response to how they think people are going to react to something they do that hasn’t even happened yet.

Mind-reading can thus lead to more intensive, particularly negative feelings as we go online and look at our profiles and see how we post, or what we plan to post. One of these feelings is guilt, where we may feel bad if we post something that might be taken as controversial, feel that it could be triggering to someone, or make them experience some level of FOMO if you post about hanging out with someone else, even if you don’t know them that well.

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If you do find yourself feeling guilty about potentially or after posting something, take the time to ask yourself if there’s anyone specific that you’re worried about upsetting and what your relationship is like with them. Do you talk to them often? Is this someone you care about? What is the item that you’re considering posting that is causing these guilty feelings? If it’s something you care a lot about, but think that it might upset people, you can consider adding trigger or content warnings. Even if the item has already been posted, there’s also nothing wrong with editing it, adding a follow-up post, or even going back to delete it if the guilt feels particularly heavy. 

Social media is always hit-or-miss in regards to how people react, including yourself to your own content. It’s important that your profile represents you, but remember that others can see it too, and if that’s going to affect how you post and feel, it’s important to keep these questions in mind.

Have you ever posted something that made you feel guilty after you posted it? What was it about? Do you think certain kinds of posts can cause more negative reactions than others?

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How Does Social Media Affect the Adolescent Brain?

July 6, 2024 in Social Media Guide

The short answer? There are a lot of ways that using technology and specifically social media affects your brain. After all, the brain is always working and responding to everything, and social media is no exception.

The adolescent brain is known for its plasticity. This means it changes, responds, and adapts quickly to its environment. Plasticity may be part of the significant increase of mental illnesses appearing during adolescence, including depression, anxiety, and eating disorders. The limbic system, or the part of the brain that processes rewards and emotion, goes through huge changes pretty early in puberty. The prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain that communicates with the limbic system and helps with decision making and executive function) is undeveloped and the reward system wins over executive function. Because of this, adolescents are much more likely to follow their emotions and immediately respond to them. Think of it as being more likely to “listen to your heart and not your head.”

There’s been a lot of focus on the limbic system and how adolescents respond to the notifications and responses they get on social media posts. Whenever they see a notification pop up on their phone about someone “liking” their post on any kind of site, this part of the brain lights up and gives the same response as if they see a person that they love or when they win money. Because of this pleasure and positive feeling, adolescents are more likely to want to use social media more in order to get the same response.

Social media sites are aware of this addictive response. Another way that social media affects the adolescent brain is the way that the brain responds to seeking content. Adolescents are likely to get excited about seeing posts that make them happy, are popular, or are specifically related to their interests. While they can seek that content themselves by searching it or following certain tags or accounts that include that content, it may not always show up for them. That’s why social media sites like Instagram have endless feeds, and there’s no such thing as reaching the “end” of a page. It’s like a slot machine: you keep scrolling and scrolling because you never know if you’re going to see something you like, and when you do, you get excited. So what do you do? Keep scrolling until that happens again.

Obviously, adolescents aren’t the only ones with a limbic system in their brain. This affects adults as well. But because adolescents get excited much quicker due to how early the limbic system develops, social media is a way for them to get that immediate reward, especially because it’s something that they can use at their fingertips. That feeling isn’t always going to be there though, and a negative reaction can occur, which can be heightened for adolescents who experience symptoms of mental illness.

Social media is a tricky game, and it can mess with our emotions. It can be difficult to avoid this or even remember this because it’s something that we’re constantly using, but it can help to be aware that it shouldn’t control how we feel.

Do you use social media as a coping mechanism? Do you find yourself endlessly scrolling? How do you feel when you get notifications, or when you check your phone and you don’t have any?

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TikTok as a Mental Health Resource?

July 5, 2024 in Social Media Guide

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TikTok is unavoidable these days. The content on the app varies widely and probably includes almost anything you can imagine. There are viral dance routines, comedy, people sharing interesting stories, a woman who packs cute lunches for her kids, and we think all of us have seen the man skateboarding to Fleetwood Mac while drinking cranberry juice.

But the platform has also become a place for learning. The #LearnOnTikTok initiative has brought about a new type of creator- an educator. While educational videos may be nothing new for the Internet, the delivery method of quick, short videos that make their way to someone’s For You Page certainly is. The content of these education videos also vary, but an emerging area is mental health and therapy.

While there is plenty of amateur advice, there are several doctors, psychologists, social workers, and other mental health professionals offering their expertise (for free!) to millions of people. Professionals are able to reach a large audience and often answer questions directly from viewers.

Opening up the conversation on such a popular platform gives the opportunity to break down the stigma around mental health. Because of the way the app chooses videos to show on the For You Page, users can see a video that has 10 million views or 10 views. This gives anyone the potential to go viral and promotes a sense of authenticity that is unique to the platform.

While TikTok can be a great resource and effective support does not need to come only from clinicians, it is important to understand that anybody can post on the app freely. If you are interested in this type of content, check out this article for some great information about mental health awareness creators on TikTok.

Do you have a TikTok? What kinds of videos show up on your For You Page? Have you learned anything on TikTok, especially about mental health?

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Curating a Personally Positive Social Media Experience

July 4, 2024 in Social Media Guide

While it’s impossible to tell everyone that you’re following on any of your social media platforms what they should be posting, it can sometimes be tempting to. This is true now more than ever: there are common themes of the kinds of posts that you’ve likely seen on your feeds, and while some are more helpful than others, it can get overwhelming, stress-inducing, and quite frankly, just not the type of content that you want to see right now.

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Whether it’s the constant news updates, reminders to keep busy, the reminders to not be busy, or personal posts about how COVID-19 is affecting them, being online can feel like too much is happening at once. This is especially true now that you’re more likely on social media more often than you usually are during your regular routine. 

There are little things that you can do to help yourself though. Even with this increased social media use, it can be hard to cut back since there are limited things you can do at home. Regardless of how often you’re using social media, you should still be able to have as pleasant and healthy experience when online.

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For example, if you’re on Twitter, you can turn off retweets from certain accounts if you’re uncomfortable with the content they’re sharing for any reason. Sometimes, deleting one app entirely, even for just a day, can help calm you too. Some websites let you mute certain words so that content containing them won’t appear, and others can completely hide accounts that you don’t want to see.

Whatever it is, you still have some control in having a positive social media experience, despite the chaos and size of it all. Hopefully taking a few of these steps can alleviate the stress that can come with constantly being on and repeatedly seeing the same upsetting things.

Have you taken any measures to change your feeds to make them more positive to you? Have you found yourself doing this recently? What do you do to give yourself the best social media experience for yourself?

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When Coping Mechanisms No Longer Work

July 3, 2024 in Educate Yourself

We all have things that we turn to when we need to improve our mood. Many also have things to turn to when depressive and anxiety symptoms start to surface. 

Coping mechanisms can be, well, anything. If it’s something you seek out to make yourself feel better, then that’s a coping mechanism. However, not all coping mechanisms are created equal, and while what makes one feel better already naturally differs from person to person, the effect they have can also drastically be different too.

There are a number of reasons why coping mechanisms may stop being so effective for you, especially if they’re ones that you’ve had for a long time. For example, it might have just become such a natural part of your daily routine that the drastic, immediate effects on your mood are no longer happening. You may find yourself getting bored of your go-to coping mechanisms, such as listening to the same playlist of songs or doing a specific kind of workout. At first, you might feel guilty that your mood isn’t increasing and your mental illness symptoms aren’t decreasing, but having a change in routine and having certain habits run their course and be less effective is a natural thing that happens with a lot of different things.

Coping mechanisms aren’t always good for you, either. This includes things like substance abuse, scrolling endlessly on social media, and withdrawing from others. If you find yourself turning to coping mechanisms that are negatively affecting not just you, but causing worry and negatively affecting those around you, it may also be worth considering if these coping mechanisms are actually helping you feel better or not.

There’s nothing wrong with abandoning a coping mechanisms (and for those that are more harmful, it can be a good thing to abandon it!). If anything, it signifies that it’s time for a change, and an opportunity to find other healthier, beneficial ways to increase your mood and try something new!

What are your current coping mechanisms if you feel depressive and/or anxiety symptoms start to surface? Have you had any old ones that you ended up abandoning? What were they and why did you stop using them?

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Maintaining Personal Hygiene During a Depressive Episode

July 2, 2024 in Educate Yourself

One of the less commonly talked about aspects of mental illness is maintaining personal hygiene—more specifically, the inability to do so. This topic can be embarrassing for many people which is what contributes to the lack of conversation surrounding it.

Depression virtually drains you of all your energy which can make it difficult to function on many different levels. Sometimes it can be hard to even get out of bed, much less take a shower and brush your teeth. The little bit of energy that you may have often gets used to do “more important” things, such as going to class or work. In a society that shames those that don’t maintain their hygiene (think of the accusations of assumptions of grossness and laziness), worrying about being judged or ignored can make depressive symptoms worse, and the cycle continues.

There is no need to feel embarrassed, though. You would not be lamed if you were physically ill and did not have the energy to do these daily tasks. Mental illness is the same thing. The fatigue, lack of energy, and lack of motivation is no different.

You are not gross. You are not lazy. You are not less than those who do not struggle.

It is important to take even little steps to maintain your personal hygiene. This is not only for your physical health but keeping yourself clean can help boost your confidence. Here are some tips you can take to stay clean on even the hardest days:

Use Dry Shampoo and Deep Conditioner

Using dry shampoo will help get rid of the oils in your hair, giving you a “just washed” look—and it smells good too! If you have not been able to brush your hair for a while, and it’s beginning to matte, use a deep conditioner to loosen up the tangles.

Sink Baths and Baby Wipes

Using a washcloth and some soap in your sink to hit the “hot” areas like your armpits before applying more deodorant is a way to clean up a bit. If your sink is deep enough, you can even wash your hair under the faucet. You can also use baby wipes instead of using a wash cloth. This is even quicker and can be done while you’re still in bed.

Take a bath instead of a shower, or get a shower chair

Sometimes just the thought of standing that long in the shower is what deters people the most. Taking a bath is a way that you can get clean without having to stand so long. If you do not have a bath tub, you can also buy a shower chair.

Use Mouthwash and Carry Gum and/or Mints

Carrying a travel bottle of mouthwash can help on those days where you just couldn’t get up to get ready before leaving the house. You can use it in the bathroom at work or school. Gum, mints, or breath spray can help on those days where you forgot to brush.

Deodorant and Sprays

When using body sprays, make sure to use sparingly so as to not have a super overwhelming scent. Febreeze can be used to lightly mist shirts or pants that you are unable to wash, and there are products designed to give clothes a refresh if you haven’t been able to wash them. Using deodorant at night as well as in the morning can help to contain body odor.

Ask for help

If you have someone who is willing to help you, ask them to run a bath or even brush your hair for you. Not only will it help you relax, but it can be a bonding experience with a loved one.

Invest in a nice hygiene product

Buying fancy bubble bath, lotions, or shampoo can be a way to spoil yourself and give you motivation to try out your new products!  

It’s important to be proud of the small steps you take and to make realistic expectations for yourself. Sometimes just hopping in the shower to let the warm water run over you is enough for that day. Be proud of accomplishing even the simplest of tasks!

Have you ever had any difficulties in doing any “simple” tasks, including maintaining personal hygiene, when you’re going through a particularly hard time or episode? What other tips do you have?

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Why Do We Use Retail Therapy as a Coping Mechanism?

July 1, 2024 in Social Media Guide

You’ve probably seen memes, Tiktoks, and other kinds of posts on social media about how the best part of the day is when a package with something you ordered has finally arrived. There’s something incredibly satisfying about placing an order and tracking every single step of the delivery process before it arrives at your front door. Recently, these memes are often associated with something about mental health, whether it be placing an order “just to feel something,” or using that wait for your package to arrive as a reason to look forward to the future.

The concept of using shopping as a coping mechanism isn’t new. In the past, retail therapy was often associated with going to the mall or some store and grabbing something frivolous or outside someone’s budget that they buy on impulse. Phones and social media has made retail therapy even easier however, with things available with just a tap on the phone (and even easier, a double click on the side button that has your Apple Pay linked up). At the beginning of the pandemic, started last year, there was a huge spike in people shopping online, with many making their purchases impulsively.

There are several reasons why we turn to shopping – and especially online shopping – when we’re feeling down. One of the biggest reasons is a sense of control: when things like pandemics, mental illness, overwhelming schedules, and negative life and news events are surrounding people constantly, making purchases that they want and that they believe will make them happy is way to restore any lost control. Online shopping is also like a lottery machine; you never know what you’re going to find if you keep scrolling on commerce websites, and your brain is telling you to keep going just in case you find the thing that’s perfect for you to buy. One study has even found that retail therapy can help reduce sadness.

Retail therapy can be helpful and we don’t always need to try and justify purchases that make us happy, but when done excessively, it can quickly become an unhealthy coping mechanism. Companies are also aware that people turn to retail therapy, and can take others’ poor mental health as an opportunity to constantly push their products – especially self-care and wellness ones – on vulnerable consumers. Now that many social media platforms include many personalized ads automatically integrated on their feeds (think of how Instagram has been criticized lately for wanting to be more of a shop than a photo platform), the temptation to shop can be even harder to fight off. 

So if you want to reduce the number of times you online shop, but spend a lot of time on social media (especially when you’re depressed or anxious), and are constantly coming across personalized ads for things that are perfect for you to buy, what can you do? Again, it’s not that big of a deal to treat yourself every now and then, but it’s also up to you to determine just how long “every now and then” is. You can also see if you can explore alternatives to these items; for example, you can try making things yourself or see if someone is selling something similar secondhand. If you like having stricter rules in place, give yourself a small budget to spend each month for those times that you want to buy something that seems silly and useless online. using AdBlocks and turning off personalized ads can also go a long way too.

Do you do most of your shopping online? Do you find yourself buying things you don’t need? When do you find yourself doing them? Do you think you shop online as a coping mechanism?

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Is Being a Morning Person Better for You Mentally?

June 28, 2024 in Educate Yourself

You’ve likely heard that being a “morning person” can benefit one’s mental health significantly. You’ve probably seen a bunch of stories about how waking up with the and even before the sun helps people feel more accomplished, gets more done in the day, and feels healthier both mentally and physically. 

You may have tried becoming a morning person yourself, trying to squeeze in a workout, a full balanced breakfast, a time to journal, and meditation. You also probably have to wake up early to go to school, and maybe even earlier if you’re in a club or sport that requires you to be there before classes begin.

However, similar to the now debunked idea that less sleep = more time to be successfully productive, you actually don’t need to be a morning person to be productive and feel like you have everything together. What it really comes down to is understanding what’s best for your body and when your mind feels that it functions best. There are some people who do benefit from waking up early; for them, being a morning person means having control over what they want before their day officially begins and gives them a sense of accomplishment of having items on their to-do list already checked. Meanwhile, others may be at their peak in the middle of the day, or even in the middle of the night.

Unfortunately, because of the 9-5 work life and 7-2 school day, our culture favors those who wake up and function early, especially because those who function at other times are likely too exhausted because their body’s naturally preferred sleep cycle is so disrupted. But if you look around your coworkers and peers, most of them are likely too groggy, cranky, or about to go right back to sleep first thing in the morning.

So no, you don’t have to become a morning person if you want to have a well-rounded, productive, and healthy lifestyle. Although we still life in a 9-5 and 7-2 culture, those who benefit from being productive later in the day can still do so, but they just might have to do a little more work adapting and making sure that they can still get what they want done while still getting enough sleep.

Which brings us to our advice: whether you’re an early bird or night owl, try to do your best to establish a routine for when you want to be and feel your most productive. As long as you’re able to get 7-8 hours of sleep a night (and ideally waking up whenever you want to), you should be in good shape.  If you’re in college and are more productive later, try to schedule your classes for later in the day. The pandemic has made it easier for people to work remote, so those who can and live on the east coast, remote west coast jobs will allow you to have a schedule that starts later in the day too.

For more advice, click here!

Are you a morning person? Have you ever wanted to be a morning person, or have you trained yourself to be one? When do you find yourself to be the most productive?

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Being Heard

June 27, 2024 in Educate Yourself

Feeling unheard is an experience that affects a lot of teens and young adults. A report from Mental Health America surveyed over 1,900 people aged 14 to 24, asking them about mental health and the support they want.

Young people consistently reported using their hobbies as a way to improve their mental health. When asked what they wanted, teens said that access to mental health professionals and more breaks at school would improve their mental health. The survey also showed that young people want to learn more skills to support their mental health.

There are many things that can make young people feel like they can’t speak up about their needs. For example, some do not want to feel like a burden or a source of stress for their families. While parents can be stressed, they likely want to make sure their child is okay and help them feel better. Communicating about emotions is a good way to learn more mental health skills and could give the chance to connect to mental health professionals.

Not everyone has a family member they feel comfortable talking with about their feelings. Fortunately, there are more and more outside programs available to help teens with mental health. Some options include Mental Health Kingdom, which offers peer support through Discord, and tools offered by organizations such as the Mind Body Project.

How do you want to be heard if you want to talk about your mental health? What stops you from opening up? Have you ever talked to your parents, or another supportive adult, about your mental health?

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