SOVA Blog

by callmemars

Undiagnosed and Anxious

August 4, 2021 in Educate Yourself, Social Media Guide

We are living in an era of instant information. Anything you want to know about is at your fingertips. Not to mention how many diverse voices are present online.

My depression and anxiety problems were cared for swiftly. When I showed the symptoms and expressed discomfort with them, I was fortunate enough to acquire a therapist. I am eternally grateful that my family supported my mental health journey. Mostly, anyways…

Even when I was at my best mentally, something felt off. I had an inherent feeling of otherness and alienation from my peers. I felt like something was missing like I was missing a crucial answer to my outcast spirit.

This is where the endless well of information online came in handy. It began with being fed ADHD and autism-related content by social media. I related to them, but I brushed it off. But as I consumed more content made by people with ADHD and/or autism (specifically assigned female at birth individuals) I got suspicious.

When I started to do my research, I started with the typical diagnoses criteria. With both ADHD and autism I experienced most of the symptoms listed. Then I searched up signs of them. This is where I encountered information that was young boy-centered.

As I went along, I learned that the symptoms present differently in people who were born female. This leads to them being undiagnosed and going through life not knowing. It made me feel sad that people went through their whole lives thinking something was wrong with them, not knowing the reason for their otherness.

I went back to the social media ADHD and autism info. I sought out AFAB (assigned female at birth) and LGBT+ people with autism and/or ADHD because their experiences would mirror mine more accurately.

This past year I took the assessment for ADHD. No surprise, I have ADHD. It felt like a relief, just knowing that there’s a neurological reason for my weaknesses.

That was one-half of the problem. The symptoms for ADHD and autism overlap, as do most of my diagnoses. I still believe I have autism, but seeking out its diagnosis isn’t my priority. I know how my brain works and how it interacts with the world. Since getting an official doctor diagnosis isn’t currently needed, I’m content with my diagnosis.

Seeing other people’s experiences with mental health and neurodiversity has truly helped me realize that there are reasons I’m the way I am. And that helps me calm down.

How have you used the Internet and social media to seek out more information about potential mental disorders? Have you ever found people online who shared your identities or looked like you talk about their mental health and mental illnesses? What experiences have they shared that differed from what you know about that mental illness?

As a reminder, it’s important not to solely rely on self-diagnoses. The Internet can provide many outlets and resources to help you understand your experiences and mental health, but if you find that what may be a mental or neurological disorder is affecting your day-to-day life, seek a mental health professional to help diagnose you if you are able, just like this Blogging Ambassador did!

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by callmemars

Trans Mental Health

April 20, 2021 in Educate Yourself

I started testosterone last month. And while I haven’t noticed any changes, yet, I’m still infinitely grateful. Even though needles scare me, I’m able to bear through it, which is a testament to how important this is to me. If you told me I was on testosterone a year ago, I wouldn’t believe you. This has been a dream for me since sixth grade. 

I suffer from dysphoria, which some but not all trans people experience. While dysphoria is different for everyone, for me it comes in waves. One day I can be perfectly okay with my body, even my feminine aspects, but other days it’s hard to look in the mirror. And while I try to practice self-care at those times, there still is discomfort. It’s been better since I’ve been on testosterone, which I’m so happy for.  

Media also likes to portray transmasc people as skinny people who are the height of androgyny. This led to one of my other problems, managing my testosterone expectations. I used to believe testosterone was the solution to all my problems. I used those media-friendly transmasc people as goals. I wanted to look like them, their thinness hiding their feminine aspects. It was incredibly hard to accept that those goals weren’t instantly attainable. I had to adjust my beliefs and make it what I wanted to be, not what the media tells me I should be. Currently, my goals are simply to get healthy and strong.  

Being openly trans opens up a world of anxiety. If I was still in public school, I can almost guarantee I would be misgendered every day. I’m thankful I’m able to do online school and avoid the transphobes at school. I try to surround myself with people who know my pronouns and make an effort to use them. Having family use incorrect pronouns is another story. Though I do care about my dad deeply, I try to limit my time around him, to keep myself dysphoria-free.

Another thing that helps is doing makeup. This may sound counterproductive, but doing some masculine contour (even if bad) can really help me feel confident in myself. At certain times of doubt, I consume media made by trans people for trans people. Seeing successful trans people can be such a mood booster.

Do you experience dysphoria? If you identify as trans, what has your experience been like? If you identify as cis, how do you think – or already practice – being an ally? 

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by callmemars

How Important is Music?

March 2, 2021 in Educate Yourself

Music is a part of the human psyche. Cavemen banged together stones rhythmically and vocalized. Music has evolved a lot since then and is constantly evolving.

I feel like everyone has this internal need to sing. Young children babble gibberish in a sing-song tune, people sing along to their liked songs, and sometimes they sing little improvised songs about mundane tasks.

And for me, music has always been a huge part of my life. Not making, writing, or playing music, simply listening. Since I’m an introverted person, music allows me to always have something to do. I probably looked like a weirdo, sitting among the noisy bus in fifth grade, clunky headphones, looking wistfully out the window, eyes unfocused. But it honestly made me content.

Recently I’ve realized that this might have been spurred on by my sensitivity to sound. The bus was too chaotically loud, and one of the only ways to block it out was blasting music. I wanted to listen to music I enjoyed, so I almost had to make it part of me. Even to this day, I can’t have multiple sounds existing at once, and my headphones have been my saving grace every time.

My music taste mostly comes from my mom. I often cite her showing me Green Day for the reason why I became punk. My taste currently is a mix of queercore and riot grrrl, which are both subgenres coming from punk. This type of music is often angry, with lyrics about stuff that resonates with me. Anger is bad in large quantities, that’s common knowledge, but anger in reasonable amounts can be powerful. As a former quiet introvert, I have a habit of being a pushover and a people pleaser. I lacked a backbone. But listening to this music has made me angry, a productive type of anger. This type of anger provokes me to be an activist.

It also makes me feel less alone. Some of the songs are about things I’ve gone through and felt. Seeing popular music artist that have gone through the same things as me and have come out stronger. It gives me hope for my future.

All in all, music is a building block of my personality, views, and simply how I carry myself.

What’s your relationship to music like? Are there certain genres that you find yourself using for different moods?

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by callmemars

Hobbies and Mental Health

January 13, 2021 in Educate Yourself

One of my biggest coping skills is practicing one of my endless hobbies. Whenever I feel like my feelings are going to swallow me whole, I try to use a hobby to channel that energy. This is where it helps to have multiple hobbies.

Activities like drawing and writing are outlets that are helpful to release your feelings. With drawing and writing, you can directly model your feelings. If you feel angry, active hobbies, such as baseball or basketball, are most useful. Arts and crafts are similar to drawing and writing, but there is a more calming aspect. Especially repetitive ones, like knitting or making bracelets.

Not to mention how the cost to start most of these hobbies is low. You don’t need professional tools, but just some essentials. This also helps to gauge if you like the hobby. When you’re sure you like it, then you can get more expensive, high-quality products. My advice is, try as many unique hobbies as possible until you find one that clicks with you.

My absolute favorite hobby is simply listening to music. There’s music for all types of emotions. I mostly listen to loud and angry music or the genre punk. Using headphones makes it feel like your whole body is being infused with the music’s vibrations. It’s truly an almost meditative routine. The music helps me see that there are adults who have gone through the same things I have, and yet they’re alive, living a successful life.

My central advice is to find a hobby you like. Doesn’t matter how “weird” or unusual it is. If you get one, your mental health will thank you.

Do you have different hobbies that you engage in depending on your mood? What are they? What are some low-cost hobbies that you enjoy and recommend? You can also talk about your hobbies and coping mechanisms on our discussion board here!

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