Self-Confidence and The Iceberg Theory

As I scroll through Instagram, I see amazing musicians on tour and playing complex songs. As a musician myself, I ask why I can’t do what they do. Why aren’t I as talented? Why aren’t I as successful? Maybe you’ve been in this position with your own success.

As we spend time on social media, it’s easy to get caught in this trap. We look at other people’s success and wonder why we aren’t where they are. It’s terrible for our self-confidence yet we do it anyway.

Someone wise once told me about the unofficial “Iceberg Theory.” With an iceberg, a peak sits above the water and sailors in the water can only see the peak. What sailors can not see is the mass of ice under the water that is connected to the peak. Social media can also act in this way.

When you see someone that you view as successful on social media, you’re only seeing the tip of their iceberg. You don’t see the hours and days of dedication that got them to where they are. Many of those hours very well could have included struggle, frustration, or maybe even depression.

If you struggle with this, you may want to “unplug” from social media for a while. It can be helpful to take a step back from social media so that you don’t continue to damage your self confidence. Everyone has there own pace in life, and just because you haven’t reached your goals doesn’t mean you never will.

So next time you see someone on social media and you ask yourself why you’re not good enough, remember that you’re only seeing the tip of their iceberg. Don’t let the tip of someone else’s iceberg be the reason that yours starts to melt!


Have you ever compared yourself to others online? What kinds of thing do you find yourself comparing yourself to?

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