SOVA Blog

18 things I learned by the age of 18:

December 5, 2017 in Educate Yourself

birthday cake

  1. It’s perfectly okay to say “no.” There are times where you have too much on your plate already, yet you continue to take on more  because you don’t know how to say no. Remember, your personal health and sanity is more important than pleasing others.
  2. Not everybody is always going to like what you say, or what you do, or how you dress, or your thoughts or ideas. THAT’S FINE! Chances are, you aren’t going to change their opinion anymore than you can change theirs.
  3. Live in the present. The past has passed, and it is no longer an issue. The future is never constant and even the slightest most insignificant alteration could change your path on the course of life.
  4. Give back when you can. While it may be fun to flaunt your accomplishments or possessions, remember there are always people worse off than yourself.
  5. Be organized. When you are disorganized, your work and life becomes cluttered and harder to navigate. Take time every once in a while to think, plan, initiate, and accomplish things that you set forth to do.
  6. Take responsibility for your mistakes and actions. If you mess something up, own up to it and be honest. It takes a lot of weight off of your shoulders in the long run.
  7. Success has different definitions to different people. Not everybody has the same goals as you do so try not to compare your victories to theirs. Act on your own impulses and make your own decisions.
  8. You are your biggest critic. When you look at yourself in a mirror, you can pick out every single little flaw that others might gaze over without even thinking twice. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
  9. Your opinions and abilities have value. If artists and designers just gave away their work for free, it would tarnish their value and their demand. Market yourself so that you are a player that everybody wants on your team.
  10. If you don’t understand something, PLEASE don’t be afraid to ask for help. The world is not out to get you and asking for help is okay. Everybody is raised to be pretty independent, but even the strongest people fall the hardest sometimes.
  11. “When they go low, we go high.” Don’t lower yourself to somebody else’s level. Play fair and use your own work ethic and determination get ahead.
  12. Work for what you want. It’s much more satisfying to use your own money to buy the things that you want because it means that you set a goal, and achieved that goal.
  13. Be kind. In the grand scheme of things, will it really matter if they’re sold out of your favorite drink at Starbucks? If somebody finished the last of the milk and now you have dry cereal? If the person driving in front of you doesn’t like to use their turn signal?
  14. Sometimes you’re going to be upset for no logical reason. It happens. Don’t focus on it too much because it does get better and you will get past it.
  15. Challenge the status quo. Don’t just go with the current assuming that it will make you happy. Do things that aren’t normal. Do things that scare you. Act on impulse.
  16. Do not let anybody sidetrack you on your pathway to success. If you have a goal, think of what you need to do to get there. If others don’t understand or don’t care, then you’re better off without them.
  17. Follow your dreams and reach your goals. Although it might take years and years and years, the amount of satisfaction that comes in finding your passion is well worth it.
  18. Don’t ever lower your standards or expectations because of somebody else. Know your worth, know what you want, and never settle for less. Don’t compromise when you don’t have to.

What is something you’ve learned as you’ve gotten older?  Do you find anything on this list to be particularly valuable?  We would love to hear from you in the comment section below!

The Challenges Faced by LGBT Youth

October 31, 2017 in Educate Yourself

Hi everyone! This is my second blog post for SOVA (read more about my first blog post: Mental Health in Your Family Tree), and I just wanted to tell everyone that I’ve read some awesome posts. It is so nice to have a place to just talk to an audience without judgment. Also, the support and encouragement from my peers is super awesome. Without further ado, here is my second blog post!

What if I were to tell you that 6 out of every 10 LGBT students felt unsafe attending school because of their sexual orientation? Or how about the fact that approximately 80% of gay and lesbian youth report severe social isolation. The facts and numbers are truly heartbreaking, and being that I identify as a gay male, it really hurts me to see that my peers in the LGBT community are feeling so badly about themselves and the situations they are placed into.

For a long time, I have struggled with my sexuality and my naturally feminine personality, to the point that I would get anxiety about what colors I could wear to school. I distinctly remember that in 7th grade, I was harassed because of the color of my phone case. Literally, a phone  case. I was called gay because of the color of my phone case! Now, I know that middle school is often an extremely difficult and sometimes awkward phase for a lot of people, and when there is such a strong stigma surrounding the word “gay” is when I realized a need for today’s youth.

In most scenarios, hate and discrimination stems from ignorance, or a lack of knowledge. I believe that our generation is absolutely more tolerant towards issues in the LGBT community, however it may seem hard to see that sometimes. If all children were brought up to be tolerant and understanding, then the world would be a totally different place, however the world is not perfect, but that’s okay. There will always be more love in the world than hate.MLK

Michael Kors, Sia Furler, Jane Lynch, Laverne Cox, Ellen DeGeneres, Anderson Cooper, David Bowie, and many many other role models of mine identify as LGBT, and I think that the work that they are doing for the community is amazing. Just imagine a world where Michael Kors had never designed, Sia Furler never wrote music, and Ellen DeGeneres never acted. The world would be such a different place without these influences.

So the moral of the story is never be ashamed to be exactly who you are. People might not agree, but who cares anyway; you’re too cool for them. The worst thing that you can do it to keep your gifts from the world, because you truly do have the potential to change it for the better.

Peace!

If you have any questions or comments about the subject of today’s blog post, please let us know!  We’d love to hear from you!

Mental Health in Your Family Tree

September 26, 2017 in Educate Yourself

Genetic

Hello! So before I get into my topic about adolescence, I’m just going to introduce myself and give you a little bit of a background of where I’m coming from.

I am an 18 year old gay male, currently living in the Pittsburgh area. I grew up in a smaller town on the outskirts of Pittsburgh, and my graduating class was less than 100 people. I tend to be pretty liberal, and in the future I want to help victims of domestic abuse or sexual assault. So that’s me in a nutshell!

My story begins in 11th grade. I had always been a great student, turning in (mostly) all of my homework, paying attention in class, and getting good grades on quizzes. For some reason, be it nature or nurture, I had always thought that school was pretty easy. Up until this point, and then it all began to snowball.

I was very involved in high school, and the amount of activities and organizations that I was involved in couldn’t be counted on two hands. In the beginning of the year, I started to get these new feelings. It felt like I physically wanted to do the work, but mentally I couldn’t bring myself to do it.  However, usually after taking a break from school, it was easy to come back and get things done. During this time, I was also working at Best Buy and the holiday season was approaching quickly. Now you as the reader might be able to see where this is going, but at the time I had no idea.

As I started getting more hours at Best Buy, I began to put my school work on the back burner. I told myself excuses like “Ohh, I’ll finish it later” and most of the time I did, but sometimes I would just be too tired. I’m sure you may already know, but your junior year in high school is one of the most important years. It’s one of the years that bears the most weight when colleges are looking at your transcripts. Needless to say, my grades were begging to slip, and since I have control issues, I started to struggle.  I struggled tremendously with coming to terms with the fact that for the first time in my life, I may actually fail a class.

One night after I got out of work from Best Buy, I lost it. My mom picked me up and I was sharing with her all the problems I was having about getting stressed out over things that weren’t always in my control.  It turns out that my family has a history of mental health issues including anxiety and depression. My grandma has been on anxiety medication since she was in her 30s and my dad had been prescribed anti-depressants in the past. A lot of the issues that I was having were genetic and I didn’t even know it at that time because I had never asked.

That is why I want to encourage all of the people reading this to post to talk to somebody you trust in your family about your family’s mental health history, because a problem that you may be having could be genetic and you may have never even realized.

Now that I am older and I realize what my situation is, I have learned to control my anxiety in most cases. Sometimes things are out of my control and that sets it off, but most of the time when I listen to music, do some deep breathing exercises, and read or write, I feel in complete control of myself. I realize that it may not be as easy for others to do the same, but none the less, I encourage you to start finding methods to relax and calm yourself. Although I still struggle sometimes, remembering that nothing lasts forever, and knowing that it does get better helps me get me through it.

I hope you all have enjoyed my first blog post, and I look forward to reading yours!

Have you ever asked your parents about your mental health family tree?  If you feel comfortable sharing, we’d love to hear from you!