About a year and a half ago, I started a morning journal. I had no clue how to structure it, or how it even came into fruition. I do love To Do lists, so I would have small journals that would contain my daily To Do’s. From there, I have progressively grown and evolved what has now become a crucial part to my morning routine, so much that when there’s no pen on paper for that day, the day is definitely off.
I wrote the following short story (in the genre of magical realism!) about a girl who, like many of us here, struggles with anxiety throughout her everyday life.
There are so many ways people have tried to take care of themselves. At certain times face masks seemed like a great answer for a spa night. Sometimes people enjoy working out or going for a walk outside to get some fresh air. I am curious about what are some of the best things everyone else does when you feel like you need a moment to yourself?
For what seems to be my entire life, I feel that I always manage my stress, anxiety, and struggles on my own – which I don’t think now looking back was the best thing to do. If I can be honest, I have always been insanely independent, and don’t like asking for help. I was always “that person” who brushed off the idea of a therapist, or speaking out my problems with someone who may be able to make me feel better.
As long as I can remember, my mother and I have had a rocky relationship. We would have long stretches of times without any fights, and then out of nowhere, a fight would erupt and we’d go weeks or months without speaking to each other. Most of this occurred whenever I was in high school, but our problems never completely went away.
Recently I watched the award-winning coming of age film, Lady Bird, on Netflix. Rather than focusing on Christine’s (or Lady Bird’s) portrayal, I found her mother Marion to be more interesting.
Recently, I have been having fewer and fewer panic attacks. While my anxiety is situational, my situation has not drastically improved in the last few weeks, I’ve just been learning how to prevent the panic attacks better.
Last Wednesday, I received a phone call from my boss that my business was opening back up on Tuesday and I’d be starting back up at full time, just like before I left. I couldn’t believe it; I had been furloughed during the COVID-19 crisis and had just hit two months of being unemployed.
Have you ever had the scary experience when you’re driving and don’t remember the last few minutes of the drive? Or maybe you can’t remember where you put your pen two minutes ago.
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