SOVA Blog

Clear and Refreshed

May 3, 2021 in Be Positive

It is crazy to me just how much the weather can affect my mood. I have been curled up in my room–not even my house just my room–for the better part of this week. The weather decided to dive back into the 30s and 40s, which is so rude considering it was 70 before that. However, I am looking outside my window as I write this and even with the chill the sun is still shining. I have been putting off taking a package to the post office for a few days now because I do not want to leave the house, but change is coming! Tomorrow it is supposed to be warm and each day after it is supposed to heat up.

The weather is not the only thing changing. My roommate is graduating college next week, I have been offered a really cool internship, my friends are returning from their corners of the world and soon we will all be back home together–likely for the last time. Life is working hard to make up for the year we lost to Corona. I am ready to run alongside her, but I do not want it to flash by.

I hope to appreciate every second of this summer, my last “real” summer. I cannot for the life of me tell you where I will be this time next year. I graduate in December and after that, all I see is a blank page. Do I go crash on my brother’s couch out west for a few months? Do I get a seasonal job so I can travel and be outside? Do I do one of those working abroad programs? Do I get a normal 9-5? Who knows? Not me! But I am excited for what is to come. I know it won’t be all sunshine and butterflies. Obviously I will still struggle but at least I can say I am excited for the struggle now.

I have been feeling extra happy recently and I am trying to make the most of this feeling while it lasts. I know I am not out of the woods when it comes to my mental health, but these moments of clarity are incredible and they have been happening more and more frequently lately. No matter how I try to end this, it comes off as a cliche. The “it gets better,” “it won’t always be this hard” all the things we have heard over and over while people try to console us. So I am not going to do that to you, because it really grinds my gears when I hear people say that to me. Just know that these moments of joy are incredible and important. Take pictures, make memories, relax, and most importantly enjoy this summer! I got my vaccine a few weeks ago and I am so ready to live my life a little more each day.


What are your plans for the summer? Do you have any advice on how to elongate these spaces of clarity between bouts of mental un-wellness?

Spring Has Sprung

March 29, 2021 in Be Positive

I was at a plant warehouse sale a few days ago. We had to wait in line for about an hour before going in. Lucky for us, it was nice out that morning. The sun was beating down on us, a cool breeze was blowing, and there was a food truck selling biscuits and coffee. I was standing there taking it all in. I felt like this was the first Saturday that I actually went out and did something planned in so long — since the fall at the very earliest.

As I was soaking in the sun and laughing with my roommates, I realized that the winter had really done a number on me this year. Aside from my regular struggle with depression, add in the total lack of sunlight and ability to leave the house for long periods of time without freezing, and then sprinkle on the additional “you can’t see anyone because it is a pandemic.”I  did not realize just how bad I was feeling until I was standing on the side of the road in the sun waiting to buy some discount plants.

This got me thinking, how do I combat that? How do I stop myself from getting stuck so deep in a rut that I don’t even realize I am in one? I am still searching for answers to this question. So far, I have thought about looking at pictures or making a scrapbook. I think that would help remind me of when things were good and in turn make me realize I need some help in this moment.

That being said, I don’t know how to scrapbook, so I am more than open to any other suggestions!

The change in seasons is really amazing: warming weather, flowers poking their way out of the dirt, and trees becoming full and green again. All of these transitions are helping me transition out of my winter gloom — and the sad part is, I love winter. It truly is a beautiful time of year in my eyes, but this year hit especially hard (something I am sure so many others understand).

I think the best we can do now is watch the spring explode in front of us. Maybe it will inspire us to grow and become just as full of life as the trees and flowers that thrive in these months. I know that when summer comes, there is a good chance we will all be vaccinated or on our way to being vaccinated, so for now all we can do is soak in the sun under our masks and wait for better days.

Though, we shouldn’t let these good ones pass us by. I’ve decided to think of it this way: if my mask covers the bottom half of my face, I don’t have to worry about getting sunburned there. Looking for that silver lining, no matter how tiny it is, is really important to me. I just know soon things will be different and that the sun is going to shine on us for some many months, so we should do all the growing we can before it’s time to hibernate again.


How was this winter for you? What advice do you have to help you avoid getting into a seasonal rut? What are you looking forward to as the weather gets warmer?

Feeling My Way Towards Healing

February 24, 2021 in Be Positive, Educate Yourself

A while back, my roommate accidentally let slip something I asked them to keep quiet. They felt horrible about it and apologized to me profusely. Of course, I forgave them, because in my eyes it was clearly an accident. but they kept apologizing for well over an hour.

At that point I said something along the lines of, “don’t worry about it, it’s not the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.” They looked at me really funny and since then I have realized that my response was slightly troubling. Just because something does not claim the title of ‘worst thing to ever happen to me’ does not mean whatever occurred wasn’t bad or harmful in any way.

By equating everything to my worst moments I think I am only continuing to harm myself. I am allowed to be sad or mad about bad things that happen to me, even when they pale in comparison to other unfortunate events in my life. I think acknowledging this will allow me to grow and possibly start healing a little? I think that before healing, we have to feel what has happened to ourselves. And with my previous mindset, I have not allowed myself to feel those moments.

I am still new to this whole concept of healing and I have been hitting rough patches left and right. Maybe I am finally getting on the right track. But either way, at least now I am allowing myself to feel pain when bad things happen to me.


Have you ever fell into this mindset? How did you pull yourself out of it? Did feeling your pain and troubles allow you to heal from them?

A Welcome Change

February 9, 2021 in COVID-19, Educate Yourself

Over the last two semesters, I have had to sacrifice a lot of things due to COVID and it was really hard. I spent a lot of time feeling bitter and sorry for myself. I backslid into old habits of sleeping all day and staying up all night, of snapping at people when they spoke to me, and worst of all, not feeling much of anything.

This semester started last week and I am determined to change these habits and adopt new ones. There is nothing I can do to change the fact that I am living through a pandemic during my college years. There is nothing I can do to change the fact that I, and so many others had to put our lives and plans on hold. It’s no wonder I lost my excitement for life and the future, but that does not mean I have to continue this way. 

In order to regain my footing, I have made a list of things to do and to look forward to:

Cook more meals

Cooking has always made me feel peaceful with the bonus of getting to eat afterwards. I want to try new recipes and experience food from cultures other than the ones I am already comfortable cooking in. 

Discover new music

Music has always been a passion of mine. I would spend so many hours scrolling through Spotify and Youtube trying to find new artists and perfecting playlists. I lost a bit of that when lockdown began in March, but I am going to make time for music again.

Read more!

I used to read everything that came my way. I would speed through books in days, sometimes no more than a couple of hours. Ever once in a while I will read a new book for pleasure, but I mostly find myself rereading books from my childhood or not reading at all. I am going to make an effort to read a new book. Maybe I will replace the time I endlessly scroll through TikTok into a time to read.

Apply for internships

I need something to look forward to. I used to always have at least one concert on my horizon (usually a tiny hole in the wall show, but a show all the same). Now that live music is a no-go, I need something new to look forward to, so why not kill two birds with one stone and get an internship? This will give me something to do when applying, something to look towards for the summer, and a way to make money, sounds like a win-win-win situation to me. 

These all seem like really simple things when writing them down, but sometimes the simple things are the ones I struggle with the most. I am going to actively attempt to do all of these things, even if it is just once a week. I think in doing this, I will start to break away at the shell I built around myself since last March. I am excited to see who is underneath again.


What are some things that are making you excited? What are you looking forward to? Have you noticed yourself slipping into old habits because of COVID?