This is my first blog post ever. After a suggestion from my therapist to write about living with major depressive disorder, I came across SOVA and thought I should give it a try since I found writing to be therapeutic in the past. This is going to be a little introduction post about me, my diagnosis, and about what I would like to discuss in future posts.
I have struggled with depressive episodes since my freshman year of undergrad when I was 19 and was not properly diagnosed until nearly a year ago when I was 23. Throughout all of my struggles in undergrad, I refused to believe that my depression was that bad. I grew up with a depressed parent, and kept comparing my personal experiences with what I saw growing up and kept thinking to myself, “at least I’m not THAT bad.” It wasn’t until I graduated with my bachelor’s and was accepted into grad school that I finally got “THAT bad”. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t go to work without crying in my cubical. This was supposed to be the happiest time of my life, but I had never felt more numb. I finally reached out to my primary care provider (PCP) and was prescribed Lexapro after she explained, “Girl, you need some serotonin STAT.”
For those not familiar with selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), Lexapro works by increasing the “happy chemical” serotonin in the brain by inhibiting the receptors that reabsorb (reuptake) serotonin. Lexapro can be prescribed to treat depression and generalized anxiety disorder. After that appointment, I finally started the search for a therapist and started the process of learning to deal with my depression.
In the future I would like to explore experiences I’ve had trying to find a therapist, dealing with depression while in school/working, and how to discuss your diagnosis with friends/family. Let me know if you’d like me to explain anything mentioned in this post. Thanks for reading!
When did you start recognizing your symptoms? How did you react to them? Let us know in the comments!