Loneliness In Your 20s

I finally graduated college this December, a semester early, and even got offered by my current employer an offer to transition to full-time. My family is insanely supportive of me, I have a loving boyfriend, and honestly, I’m super happy with where I am in life and everything I worked for. Expect one thing that continues to lack in my life, and that is just the fact that despite the love and success around me, I feel utterly lonely. 

Now, I know what you’re thinking, and despite all the love around me between my family and boyfriend: “how do you feel lonely?” I feel lonely in the sense that I truly do not have any friends. 

I have around five friends from high school that I was INCREDIBLY close with. Although, between college years passing us by, and now I’m entering full-time work and adulting we are drifting further apart. These friends never reach out to me to see each other or make plans – and it’s a constant struggle. 

In college, I commuted to school, and always worked – so between that and a pandemic forcing me virtual this made things pretty much the same – I went all of college without really having any friends. 

I finally came to terms, and it’s a personal goal of mine for the new year of 2022 to make at least three friends, who can develop into close friends of mine. For 2021, I had a goal to foster relationships and actively date – and I was successful! I dated different people, put myself out of my comfort zone, and met the love of my life. 

I just feel like I’m missing this major part of my life, and it boils down to friends to talk to and make memories with. 

I honestly do not have any plan on the best way for me to make friends, but as of now I’d love any advice you have!

Here are a few ideas I have to meet new people:

My work!

I’m going to start going back into the office and every time someone wants to go out for drinks, lunch, or even coordinate an office event I’m going! My office has a common area with couches and kitchens, and I’m making it an effort to sit there as much as possible and strike up a conversation with everyone. 

Local Meetup groups

Thankfully, I’m in a large city and have been told local meet-up groups and networking events are a great way to meet new people with similar interests and make friends. I never had a friend who was 100% aligned with my interests and feels I need friends who at least have something in common with me.

My church, and the adult group I belong to

I met my boyfriend through the church, so I figured I might as well be-friend and talk with more of those people in order to meet more couples or even individuals to be friends with. Especially since the church I belong to coordinates so many events and has many volunteering activities it made sense. 

Now

Please in the comments let me know if this sounds crazy – but I heard they have a version of Bumble but for making friends?  I am all okay with trying this option, but if you did it before and had a bad or good experience please let me know!

I don’t understand how I don’t have friends because I am REALLY friendly and extroverted. I’m also considering just reaching out to people from high school or from college classes who live in my area to see if they want to grab coffee, lunch, or drinks. The worst they can say is no, and I’m really great about taking rejection where it doesn’t impact me – so why not?

Volunteering 

I love to volunteer, so I’d love to pick 1-2 places near me where I could meet more people my age to be-friend through volunteering. 

It’s okay to feel lonely in your 20s, and for me, I’m making it a major effort in 2022 to make more friends. I want to put myself out there and have more friendships and people I can trust in order to not feel so isolated, especially due to remote working, school, and the pandemic causing these negative impacts on me. 

Please let me know if you feel a similar way, or if you have ideas on how I can make more friends.

If you’re in your 20s, have you struggled in making new friends? What advice do you have, or what have you tried and succeeded in to make new friends? What are these friendships like, or how are they different, than friendships you’ve had from when you were younger?