Over the past year, I have been in graduate school online, working from home, and essentially living alone in my apartment. Despite the struggle of it all that everyone has endured, I had become accustomed to this way of life, filling my time with new things to read, hobbies to create, and other new trials of self-growth. This extra time came with its benefits and downfalls, and by the end of the spring I felt I was trying to make the best of it by painting, exercising, and trying new things.
I can confidently say the best years of my life have been in college. I need the structure, the crumbs of responsibility, the freedom from paying health insurance. So when people remind me that there are two more days of classes, I don’t even feel anything. No emotion, because my brain can’t understand that this period is closing.
Now that we can (hopefully) see the soon to be light at the end of the tunnel for the quarantine and the aftermath of the COVID pandemic, I want to make sure we continue to check-in with ourselves and our own mental health. Things are starting to open up again after over a year and things will slowly begin to work their way closer to “normal.”
Over the last two semesters, I have had to sacrifice a lot of things due to COVID and it was really hard. I spent a lot of time feeling bitter and sorry for myself. I backslid into old habits of sleeping all day and staying up all night, of snapping at people when they spoke to me, and worst of all, not feeling much of anything.
This holiday season has already been one like no other. With family not allowed to leave their state and having older grandparents/family members who are more vulnerable, I sometimes get a rush of sadness that I will not be able to spend the holidays with all my family.