SOVA Blog

by silverberry

Mental Health in Our Health Insurance System

October 27, 2020 in Educate Yourself

This month, I have been feeling very frustrated. Not because of the additional stress of online college classes, not because of the impending job search after graduation, and not because of interpersonal issues with family. I am feeling frustrated because of my health insurance.

Because I am 24 years old and in college, I am still on my parents’ health insurance plan. I’m really grateful to my parents that I am able to do this. We have great coverage, and I have been able to get low-cost mental health treatment for many years. But my mom recently got a new job, and because of that, our health insurance is switching from one major provider to another one. When I brought this up to my therapist last week, I didn’t think it would be an issue because I knew that her office accepts both insurance companies. However, I didn’t realize that because she is a licensed social worker, she can only accept a certain number of health insurance companies, and my new insurance is not one of them.

I have been seeing this same therapist for over six months now, and I feel like I am making great progress with her. I rely on seeing her every Friday to stay motivated and check in on how my week has been. She has also referred me to a new psychiatrist to get my medications under control, and working with the two of them together has made me feel much more emotionally stable from day to day. But now because of my new insurance plan, I have to make a difficult choice between staying with my current therapist and paying out-of-pocket for our sessions, or leaving my therapist and trying to find a new one who accepts my insurance.

I haven’t decided yet what I am going to do. It is painful to think about giving up the strong relationship that I have with my current therapist, and I think that my mental health would suffer after leaving. But paying out-of-pocket for our sessions would be a huge financial strain. I would probably have to space out my sessions to once every two weeks or once a month, and at that point, would I even get the benefits of therapy? I also know how difficult it is to find a new therapist and establish a relationship with them. I have gone through the process many times, from moving to new places and going away for college. I wasn’t anticipating an interruption in my care, but because my insurance is switching over next week, I need to make a decision soon.

This dilemma is making me feel so frustrated because I believe that healthcare is a human right, and that includes mental health care. It is so disheartening to see that our health insurance system is structured in a way that prioritizes physical health over mental health. I know that I am not alone in feeling this way, and I have found it helpful to talk with friends about this and discuss my options. But I still feel that no one should have to make the decision between their health and their finances.

Does your health insurance cover mental health? Have you ever faced any barriers to finding or staying with a therapist because of your health insurance or other finances?

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by silverberry

A Letter from My Future Self

September 8, 2020 in Educate Yourself

One of the biggest obstacles in my mental health journey has been dealing with overwhelming feelings of guilt and shame that can cause me to spiral into depression. I find it very difficult to look back at my life and not focus on the times that I have made the wrong decision or failed at something important. I get stuck in thoughts of what I “should” or “could” have done to avoid making mistakes, even though I cannot change the past. Rumination over these perceived failures from my past has caused me a great deal of emotional pain in the present, and I sometimes feel like I cannot stop going over these events in my head. 

In order to address these feelings of guilt and shame, my therapist asked me to complete a writing exercise for our next appointment. She wanted me to write a letter to my current self from the perspective of myself in 10 years. In the letter, my future self would discuss all of things I have been able to accomplish and experience in my life after overcoming these feelings of guilt and shame. She also wanted me to write about how I will feel in my future once I have been able to accept the things I have done wrong in my past. 

At first, writing the letter was difficult for me because I am not super comfortable with self-reflection, but after a while, I found a groove and the words came pouring out of me. There are so many things that I want to accomplish in my life, and it felt comforting to write from the perspective of my future self when I have been able to do all of these things without my depression holding me back. I wrote about traveling to interesting places around the world, starting a career in the field that I am passionate about, and starting my own family. 

Although these life events seem far away to me now, I know that 10 years can pass by quickly. Writing the letter made me realize that in order to achieve my goals in the future, I need to start laying the important groundwork now, such as improving my physical health, repairing relationships with my family, and becoming more independent. Thinking about my goals from the perspective of myself 10 years from now made me realize that these experiences won’t magically happen to me one day. I need to work towards them every day, starting now. If I don’t, they might never happen.

Writing this letter was not an easy process. But even though I found the writing process difficult and emotional at times, I came away with clarity and motivation about my future. I would recommend this writing exercise to anyone else who is struggling to move on from painful events in their past. 

Have your feelings about past events affect how you go about things today? Have you ever tried a writing activity for your mental health? Have you ever written letters to your past or future self? What was that experience like?

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by silverberry

Joining the Team

August 10, 2020 in Be Positive

Hello, everyone!

This is my first blog post as a SOVA Ambassador, and I’m so excited to start blogging! I came across SOVA in the Pitt+Me Registry, and I knew immediately that I wanted to be a part of it. I am passionate about mental health in young adults, as it is something I have struggled with since I was a teenager. In this post, I wanted to write a little about my background and where I am now in my mental health journey.

I was diagnosed with depression when I was in high school, around age 15. I started seeing a therapist regularly and taking medication (Lexapro, then Wellbutrin). For the most part, my depression did not greatly affect my life until I was a senior in high school. A few months before I was set to graduate, I was feeling so poorly that I couldn’t get out of bed and I stopped going to school. I had a wonderful guidance counselor who made sure I still graduated on time and started college in the fall. In hindsight, I don’t know if going to college right after high school was the best choice, but off I went.

In college, my mental health was very up and down. Adjusting to living 5 hours away from my family was difficult for me, and I chose without consultation to stop my medication and therapy when I started college. Again, in hindsight, this wasn’t the best choice. I ultimately made the decision to transfer to a college that was closer to home, and I started medication and therapy again. Since then, I’ve worked many different jobs, gone to college part time and full time, taken some time off from college… you name it, I’ve probably been there. There were times when I wasn’t sure I would ever graduate, but I am proud to say that I will finally be graduating from college in December.

At this point in my mental health journey, I feel like I have gained a lot of perspective and wisdom about therapy, medication, and coping mechanisms, but I still have a lot to learn. When I have good days, I am always worried when the next bad day will come. I also still struggle with feelings of low self-esteem and hopelessness. However, I have made a lot of improvements in the past two years, and I am working on my mental health every day.

In my future blog posts, I would like to write about dealing with depression in high school and college, mental health in the LGBTQIA+ community, and my experiences with different therapists and types of treatment. I’m so glad that I found this blogging opportunity, and I can’t wait to get started!

What has your mental health journey been like? If you have been diagnosed with depression, how old were you? If you are in college, has your mental health been different compared to when you were in high school?

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