A while back, my roommate accidentally let slip something I asked them to keep quiet. They felt horrible about it and apologized to me profusely. Of course, I forgave them, because in my eyes it was clearly an accident. but they kept apologizing for well over an hour.
At that point I said something along the lines of, “don’t worry about it, it’s not the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.” They looked at me really funny and since then I have realized that my response was slightly troubling. Just because something does not claim the title of ‘worst thing to ever happen to me’ does not mean whatever occurred wasn’t bad or harmful in any way.
By equating everything to my worst moments I think I am only continuing to harm myself. I am allowed to be sad or mad about bad things that happen to me, even when they pale in comparison to other unfortunate events in my life. I think acknowledging this will allow me to grow and possibly start healing a little? I think that before healing, we have to feel what has happened to ourselves. And with my previous mindset, I have not allowed myself to feel those moments.
I am still new to this whole concept of healing and I have been hitting rough patches left and right. Maybe I am finally getting on the right track. But either way, at least now I am allowing myself to feel pain when bad things happen to me.
Have you ever fell into this mindset? How did you pull yourself out of it? Did feeling your pain and troubles allow you to heal from them?