SOVA Blog

by Cheerio

“Lady Bird” and Moms

June 24, 2020 in Educate Yourself

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Recently I watched the award-winning coming of age film, Lady Bird, on Netflix. Rather than focusing on Christine’s (or Lady Bird’s) portrayal, I found her mother Marion to be more interesting. While I understand that there is a common belief amongst the older generations that the “teenage phase” equals the “moody phase,” Marion’s actions certainly did not help Lady Bird’s attitude.

The movie focuses on Lady Bird’s struggle to find herself, primarily her relationship with her mom. I believe I personally focused on their relationship with each other because it reminds me of my mom and I.

Marion is a nurse. They show many scenes where she sympathizes with other people, such as Lady Bird’s teacher or a pregnant friend of hers. On the outside, everyone tells Lady Bird how lucky she is to have such a caring person as her mom. However, every scene that they show Marion and Lady Bird together having a moment, Marion is shown to ruin it by saying something passive-aggressive. Her mom may love her with her whole heart, but that does not mean that the relationship is healthy. There is a difference between actions and words. In one particular scene, they show Marion saying something rude and condescending to her daughter while they are shopping for a dress. But the scene right after shows Marion staying up at night to stitch that same dress so Lady Bird can wear it to a formal party.

I like to think that Lady Bird loves her mom in small doses like me. I knew that for my mental health to prevail in college I needed to be more than 2 hours away from my mother. Do not get me wrong. She is one of my best friends and biggest role model. Everything she does, she does for my brother and I. The problem, however, lies in how she does not understand that a human can not be perfect, just like Marion. Both moms want the absolute best for their daughters, but in turn criticize our every move and action, claiming they could have done better. They would have random outbursts of emotions that we would not know how to handle, which in turn leads to our “teenage moody” phase.

For me to become independent, make my own mistakes, and grow stronger from them I needed to create another life away from my mom. College provided that outlet for me, so I can explore my own interests. I would still get phone calls that would criticize my mistakes, but it was just that, a phone call. I could always hang up or stay on the call, but the fact that I knew she could not do much to control my life was newfound freedom.

Since I came to college, I have slowly come out of the depressive state I had been in for the last 3 years of my life. While I may not like to admit it, a large part of it may have been my parents and their demand for perfection.

Overall, my mom is still my closest confidant and someone I know will ultimately be behind me in any decision I make in life. But wanting time away from your family should not be looked down upon in society. Some of the older generations like to make fun of the Gen Z population and how we are overdramatic. We are always looked at as the bad guys in these situations.

Everybody needs time to make mistakes and learn.


What is your relationship like with your mom? Do you find yourself both having a good and bad relationship with your parents at the same time? How has this affected you?

by Cheerio

A Reflection on My Biggest Mistake

June 3, 2020 in Educate Yourself

Throughout my junior year of high school, I was beyond stressed with things coming up left and right. I had jumped from 2 advanced classes to 5 classes, was an officer of several clubs, and had three different extracurriculars after school. I told myself at the beginning of the year before taking the plunge that I could handle it, “It will all be over in a mere 9 months right?” Big mistake.

I lost so much precious time and sleep trying to balance my academic and social health that my mental health was at risk. I started to procrastinate on different assignments telling myself that I had time to do it while I would rush to finish more demanding assignments. I slowly sacrificed the only time I really had left: my sleep.

My daily schedule would become a nonstop cycle. I would wake up at 6 am, get to school at 7 am and scramble to finish all the assignments that I left during that one hour period before school starts. 8 am to 3:30 pm, I would go from class to class, everything I was learning would go by in a blur. I would finally be back home at 4:30 pm and I would crash on my couch until 7:30 pm when my parents would wake me up. I would slowly get to my homework around 8:30 pm after eating and I would not stop until 2-3 am in the morning. This unhealthy cycle became my life and I was falling asleep in all the wrong places.

While I received the grades I needed to get into my safety colleges at the time, my performance was nowhere near where I wanted them to be. I was slowly taking on the persona of a narcissist to hide the fact that I was drowning. I started looking at everything in life as a joke, and I would laugh all the time at the most inconvenient of times. People around me were starting to get irritated and I would get irritated by them. I started missing a day of school every two weeks so I could get at least one day to recuperate and refocus.

Colleges say that they want an applicant that challenged themselves and I really took that to heart. I really challenged myself, and I ultimately failed myself while I was at it. Sadly, colleges do not take in to account the fact that students were challenging themselves if they fail in the end.

I want to say that peer pressure was the sole culprit of this mess. Students around me were taking four to six advanced classes, doing four different extracurriculars (excelling in all of them), and was president of various clubs or a part of different sports. If they could do it, why could I not? However, the sad reality is that peer pressure was only a part of the problem. I was drowning because of the poor decisions I was making so I was the one to blame.

Six things I would do if I could go back and change this part of my life would be:

1) Always leave extra time in your schedule for yourself, so if your circumstances change you have time you can allot to adapt.

2) Never pile on more things then you can handle, or you will slowly start to procrastinate. Focus on one or two aspects you want to get better at, so you do not spread yourself too thin.

3) Advanced courses are almost never “easy A’s”. While one person may think it is, everyone is different from each other and have very different interests and schedules.

4) Sleep is incredibly important, especially for a developing teenager, you should never think about sacrificing it.

5) Find an activity that helps you relieve your stress, whether it is drawing or even writing.

6) Finally, I found that it was extremely helpful to talk to someone who was detached from my daily schedule to talk to near the end of the year, as they are the people who are least likely to judge you but would rather analyze your problems and give you advice.


What is your schedule like? Do you think that you have to be busy all the time? How do you avoid burnout?