Some things are more important than others. Do I have enough food and water? Am I safe? Do I have people to talk to and share a genuine connection with? These things are very important. How many “likes” did my post get? Do I have the newest Apple product? Is my bed made? Did Jonny use a coaster? These things are less important (not unimportant, simply less important).
Sometimes, my girlfriend and I find ourselves in heated debates over relatively inconsequential things. Examples include the washing of dishes, the best place to store our shoes, and where we ought not to hang our coats. I admit that just yesterday she and I nearly broke up over the soap pump in our bathroom… At the end of our conversation yesterday, my girlfriend and I decided enough is enough. No, we did not end our relationship. Instead, we decided to work on deemphasizing smaller issues and letting them go more easily. Conversely, we plan on focusing our efforts on cherishing the time we have together and less on the minute details of our individual, routine habits.
Every day is a growth exercise when it comes to relationships. I do not expect the catharsis my girlfriend and I came to yesterday to be realized instantly. By working daily with each other and (more importantly) working on ourselves individually, my girlfriend and I can slowly shape ourselves into the partners we would like to be for each other.
What is more important and less important to you? How can you orient yourself to the more important things? Do you have any other examples?