Category: Educate Yourself
It always seems like there is a never-ending to-do list. This list can be memorialized in your mind palace, various techy gadgets, or on paper. We all need this list to keep track of our many tasks and obligations related to school, work, family, and friends. Sometimes, it can feel good to always have something to work on or even to look forward to. I always feel a sense of accomplishment when an item is checked off my to-do list. While it gives me the motivation to keep pushing forward, this can become excessive and detrimental if I do not set boundaries.
I want to share the importance of taking breaks and accepting when you need a break. We often overwork ourselves. And to be honest, that is totally okay! I always feel like I’m in a state of overworking myself, tired, anxious, and in the horrible stages of burnout. That is all before I started taking breaks and building them into my day-to-day routine. Breaks are a good way to switch your brain on and off from different tasks and practice self-care.
“You take Tylenol when your head hurts. You take those pills to stop your tummy from hurting when you eat ice cream. How is it different to take medication to make you feel better when you’re down?” My boyfriend said this to me today after I told him about the conversation that I had with a school psychiatrist.
Something that has come from my anxiety and affected my life greatly is my tendency to apologize too much, even in situations that do not warrant an apology. I did not realize that I was excessively doing this until my family and a significant other pointed it out to me. The significant other said that it seemed as if I was weak and self-conscious if I kept apologizing for everything. This was a huge wake-up call to me. It made me take a step back and look at the root of the issue.
Anxiety often feels like a battle between your mind and your heart. Your mind is telling you to “stop worrying, stop worrying, stop worrying,” while your heart continues to beat faster and faster, as if it welcomes the worry. I used to try and always deny the anxiety I would feel, whether it was during a performance, or before presenting to a class, or the anxiety I get when socializing. But I came to realize that denying your anxiety only makes it worse, causing it to fester and swell into what feels like a little green anxiety monster living inside of you. It’s not something you can continually repress or shoo away.
22 more weeks and I’ll graduate with another degree. It seems so close and so far away at the same time. I wish I could be more excited for what’s to come, but right now I just feel anxious. A list of things that make me anxious are paying for my student loans, finding a job, making enough money, managing my family relationships, feeling incompetent, not feeling good enough to do anything right, and so on.