Have you been in a rut recently? Have you been unsure if your mental healthcare provider is the right fit for you? Maybe, you have been working with them for some time and you...
Have you ever had a day where you can’t get out of bed? You wake up sleepily then drag on throughout the long, dreary day without getting anything done, and feel bad because of this. If so, you aren’t alone. I’ve struggled with guilt around productivity constantly for many years, hoping for things to change. I’ll have days where I can do anything in the world at once and then other days where nothing on my list of to-dos seems to get accomplished.
This past week, I experienced one of the darkest periods of my life which has left me in a pile of medical bills, lost friends, and rash behavior. It had been going off and on for years but was never bad enough to the point where it affected each and every part of my life negatively. I was not able to go to work, my friends were getting tired of my antics, and I lost way more than I ever could have imagined. As a result of this, I consulted a new doctor who told me the news: I had been misdiagnosed for years and was in fact bipolar.
It’s 2022. A new year filled with what seems to be a sea of endless opportunities and challenges to come. I was never a fan of New Year’s resolutions, staying up late when I’d rather be sleeping, and the loud parties. With that being said, I try to take the time to reflect on my life and what I can do to make it better in the new year.
Growing up, I always struggled with making acquaintances, let alone friends. I would get nervous and start panicking at the thought of looking like a fool or doing something embarrassing. Through some hard work of getting more used to talking to people at school and work (exposure therapy anyone?), I eventually got over the fear but the lingering effects are still there. In short, I don’t really have any friends besides two or three people I still speak to from my undergrad days that ended almost two years ago. Due to the recent end of the pandemic restrictions, I decided that this was going to change. I was tired of always feeling alone and having no lasting social friendships.
Over the past few weeks and months, like many others, I have been struggling immensely with my mental health. A series of panic attacks, depressive episodes, and anxiety-filled breakdowns have really spiraled out of control due to a mix of stressors from work, family, and more. It got to a tipping point earlier this month when I felt uncomfortable being alone, and that’s when I knew that I needed more help.