Feeling like damaged goods

Sometimes we can feel like damaged goods, whether because we experienced trauma, went through hardships, or experienced things we’d rather not talk about. There might be a sinking feeling like you’re the apple with a mushy side or a too ripe avocado at the grocery store, and people will continue to pass over us for the better fruit in the bunch. 

I, like so many others, have felt this same way. I feel like I’m broken or undeserving in some way because I’m imperfect. I had a bad home life growing up. I was horrendously anxious and grappling with grief 

But eventually, I was able to stop seeing myself in the light and learn that I was not “damaged goods.” Although I had gone through hardships, had bad chapters in my book, and was depressed, I was still deserving of love and support just as much as anyone else. If you’re feeling this way, here are some things I’ve had to remember. 

Damaged goods are still goods: 

Damaged goods are still goods and are still good. Remember that. An overripe avocado is still an avocado, and is perfect for guacamole. A mushy apple is still an apple and makes for a killer apple pie. No matter how damaged we may think something is, there is always a place for it on its own or in something amazing. You’re never too young or too old to be picked or loved. You are deserving. 

Positive before Negative:

Ask yourself, “How do I describe myself?” Ask your friends, “What’s one word you would use to describe me.” Did they say “smart”, “creative”, or even “passionate”?  Often, when people describe others, the positive aspects come up first before the negative ones. We’re “intelligent and energetic“ before we are “anxious and depressed.“ Others see the best in us, and so keep in mind your best before you think about your worst. 

Nobody’s perfect: 

Nobody’s perfect. The people I looked up to, my role models, and the “perfect people“ I thought I knew all had issues they were working through. They may not have shown it, but they did. Knowing that helped me realize that I wasn’t alone in feeling less than. Even celebrities like Taylor Swift struggle with body dysmorphia, Kendrick Lamar with depression, and Alix Earle with panic attacks, to name a few. I don’t look at them as “less“ for their issues, so why should you look at yourself as damaged for struggling with those same things? 

Seek Help:

If therapy or mental health services are available to you, utilize them. A mental health professional can be a valuable resource for changing your negative thoughts about yourself and helping you alter your self-image. Otherwise, continue to believe the best in yourself, affirm who you are, and remember that you’re never a damaged good. 

SOVA Lab Team